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Chapter 206 – A Lighter Heart
🕑 Added 2025-02-28 02:50:48 +0000 UTCA/N 2/27/25: I added a status screen to Chapter 196. Just an FYI if you've been missing them.
The wolf cub followed Jin LiJuan into the Martial Pavilion. At rank two, it was the size of medium dog and continued to grow in size and strength each day after she fed it a rank one core.
In a way, it disgusted her. Beasts like it had killed her family. She wanted to see it dead, not getting bigger and stronger.
But as it grew so did she. At the current rate, she’d reach minor realm seven in less than a week. Eventually, she’d pass up Senior Brother and Senior Sister.
If she could find a way to keep tolerating the beast. A big if.
And even if she did gain that strength, it wouldn’t truly be hers, gained by her own efforts. It would be borrowed. From a beast. From a filthy beast.
Her hands trembled, and she tightened them into fists.
When she realized what she’d done, though, she forced herself to unclench them. She had made a commitment to herself to try to tolerate the beast, and she was trying. Truly. But the last three days had brought her no answers. Neither trying nor succeeding was easy. Every time she looked at the wolf, she saw her family being torn to pieces. Hate overwhelmed her heart.
She sighed, at a loss at what to do. At least for the whole of the afternoon, she’d have something else to concentrate on, something that would hopefully take her mind, temporarily, off her problems—Kang Lin had arranged a tutoring session with Pan Jiang.
Jin LiJuan had studied the sword technique that Master gave her, and she was making progress. But no one else in the sect used a sword, so none of them could give her one-on-one instruction.
She was very grateful to Kang Lin for setting up the meeting with her sect brother.
Upon climbing the stairs to the fourth level with the cub bounding behind her, Jin LiJuan found the Poison Claw Sect member waiting for her. “Pardon, Esteemed Cultivator Pan Jiang. I hope this lowly one was not late.”
“Not at all, Junior Cultivator. I came early, so I could explore your sect’s new Martial Pavilion. Your sect leader installed some innovations that are quite interesting.”
Outside cultivators always seemed impressed by Master, and she supposed that he did amazing things. Since he was the only high realm cultivator she had ever met, though, it all just seemed normal to her.
She cupped her hands. “This lowly one is grateful to Esteemed Cultivator Pan Jiang for taking time for instruction.”
“Do you know why I’m doing it?”
“No, Esteemed Cultivator Pan Jiang.”
To the best of Jin LiJuan’s knowledge, the boy was an important member of his sect, even higher somehow than Kang Lin despite his lower cultivation realm. Why he would take the time to teach a lowly member of another sect was unfathomable.
“First of all, because I owe your master a debt. I acted like a complete idiot when I met your Senior Brother, Yang Ru. Your master could have taken my sword, which would have made my father so incredibly upset with me. So upset! Instead, your master gave me the greatest sword technique I’ve ever seen. I don’t know if I can ever truly repay him, but my understanding is that he holds you in great regard.”
Jin LiJuan frowned. She seriously doubted that Master had any more regard for her than for any other member of the sect and certainly not as much as Senior Sister and Senior Brother.
“It’s true,” Pan Jiang said. “Despite how he obviously considers Yang Xiu and Yang Ru his inheritors, you’re the only one he refers to by a nickname.”
Jin LiJuan tilted her head to the side, considering the statement. Master did call her Li’er, and she’d never heard him refer to Senior Sister or Senior Brother as Xiu’er or Ru’er.
Hmm.
“If such a great man considers you worth his time, why would this lowly one not?” Pan Jiang said. “In fact, I would prefer it if you dispensed with the honorifics or, if you can’t bring yourself to do so, simply call me Senior Brother.”
She cupped her hands again. “Yes, Senior Brother.”
He grinned. “The second reason is because we are siblings in a sense.”
Okay, now she was really confused.
“Martial siblings,” he said. “You’re using the sword technique that your master gave me.”
“Apologies, Senior Brother.”
“No. I think it’s great. It’s his technique to give, and there are no other students of the sword at the correct stage of development in my sect who use the Wood element. Teaching you will be good for advancing my own understanding.” He paused. “I am curious about your qi aspect, however. Do you use Wood as well?”
“No, Senior Brother.”
“Nature, then. I’ve heard a lot of the villagers here have attuned that aspect. That should be close enough.”
“No, Senior Brother. Sorry, Senior Brother.”
“But it’s something related to Wood, right?”
She felt kind of stuck. Master hadn’t said that her not having a qi aspect was a secret, but that seemed like the kind of thing that should be a secret, right? On the other hand, Pan Jiang was going out of his way to train her, and it would be disrespectful to lie to him.
“No, Senior Brother.”
He sighed. “My family and generally my sect believe it to be an advantage to use a technique attuned to one’s qi aspect even in the Qi Gathering realm. A lot of cultivators, including your master, would disagree with that belief, thinking that using neutral techniques is a better way to go. I would think that almost everyone would counsel you that using a technique attuned to a qi element that clashes with one’s qi aspect is a really bad idea.”
“I understand, Senior Brother, but I asked only for a sword technique. Master chose this particular one for me. I trust his judgment.”
Pan Jiang opened his mouth like he was going to object but instead sighed. “True enough, Junior Sister. The next time I find out your master made a mistake will be the first, so this lowly one will not gainsay him. Let’s begin.”
He led her and the wolf cub to a small room. The only thing in the space was a wooden manikin, holding a sword.
“Attack the combat dummy,” Pan Jiang said. “I’ve set it to match your speed and to defend only. Start slow and focus on performing your forms perfectly.”
Jin LiJuan didn’t understand how a wood manikin was going to defend or match her speed, but she supposed it was no different than hitting a tree, which was how she’d been practicing. Feeling a little silly, she stepped up the figure, carefully arranged her feet and body in the correct stance, and swung.
The wood manikin moved!
In fact, it brought its sword up to block hers. Metal contacted with metal.
Clang!
Wow. That was amazing.
She advanced to her next form, and the manikin matched her. On the next, she sped up, but she wasn’t fast enough to overcome her wood opponent.
At the end of the ten basic attacks—each of which had been blocked—she stopped.
Pan Jiang shook his head. “Junior Sister, what did I ask you to do?”
She thought back. “Focus on performing my forms perfectly, Senior Brother.”
“Do you consider those forms perfect?”
Not even a little bit. She’d gotten too caught up in trying to get past her opponent’s defenses.
“No, Senior Brother.”
“Do it again.”
Senior Brother Pan Jiang was a hard taskmaster. After she went through all ten forms again, this time making sure to perform each as well as she knew how, he made minute corrections on all ten of them.
Then, she went through the forms slowly again.
And he corrected her again.
By the time an hour was finished, she was sweating profusely and could barely lift her sword. She’d learned a lot, though. Much more than she would have been able to achieve on her own even if she’d practiced against a tree for a month.
“Let’s take a break,” he said.
“No, Senior Brother. I can continue. I swear.”
He laughed. “No, you can’t. The next time you lift your sword above your head, it’ll pull you down to the floor. And while that would be amusing to watch, it would not be helpful to your progress. What is helpful is taking a little while to cool down and have some tea.”
She thought about objecting, but if she really wanted to learn, she needed to start listening to people with more experience than her. Which wasn’t easy. Listening to anyone wasn’t easy. She’d even ignored Master when she ate that spirit beast meat, and that act had almost cost her everything.
Her stubbornness and self-reliance were both good traits to an extent, but she was beginning to realize that both could also become obstacles as well. When she chose to rely on herself when someone who knew more gave her advice, she was hindered instead of helped.
Pan Jiang led her to the fifth floor where some cultivation mats had been laid out in an open area, and there was a table with a tea set. “I’m given to understand that the sect leader will be acquiring more furniture for all the pavilions soon. Some cushions would make this a nice area.”
Jin LiJuan nodded. She didn’t really care about furniture one way or the other. Instead, she knelt on the mat and meditated on the forms she’d used against the manikin, locking in what she’d learned.
Unfortunately, she didn’t feel any solidification of knowledge like the others described when they reached a milestone with the technique. That was okay, though. She’d keep trying until she reached it.
When she attempted to get up, though, her legs shook.
“Let’s wait a while longer. Have some tea.” Pan Jiang handed her a cup.
In a valiant attempt to follow her decision to listen to those who were trying to teach her, she calmly accepted the cup and sipped it instead of rushing back to the room with the manikin.
“Tell me about the wolf cub, Junior Sister.”
She frowned. It was running around the space, playing.
“There’s not much to tell, Senior Brother.”
“Really? According to Senior Sister Kang Lin, your bond with it is quite extraordinary.”
Jin LiJuan blew out a frustrated breath. “For now.”
“I’ve heard about your unique circumstances,” he said. “You’re not having any luck improving your feelings toward it?”
“No, Senior Brother.”
“Have you tried asking for help?”
“Master is too busy. I don’t want to bother him.”
Pan Jiang grinned. “Of course he is. He’s the sect leader. You do realize, though, that you have other resources to draw upon besides him, right? You’re probably the youngest person in your sect. There are a lot of people with a lot of experience who might be able to help.”
“I guess, Senior Brother.”
“You never know when you might be talking to someone who actually listened to a lecture from an actual beast tamer.”
She looked at him with wide eyes. “You, Senior Brother?”
“Me.”
In the years since her family had died, Jin LiJuan had closed herself off. Why count on someone else when that someone is just going to let you down by dying? Even asking Master to heal her had been difficult.
But that attitude was stupid. If Senior Sister had a problem with something, she’d go to her brother or Kang Lin for help in an instant. Trying to do everything solo when you had options was idiotic.
“Senior Brother, will you help me with my spirit beast bond?”
The question was not an easy one for her to ask, but the effort made her heart feel lighter.
Comments
Jacob Spain
You’re missing that this is a fictional story about magic kung fu fighters, not real life. We all know what hate is, that doesn’t make it fun to read. Especially when my point wasn’t “hate is bad,” it was “there needs to be more to her than that.”
Sparkley Unicorn
Emotions aren't logical. She doesn't dislike them for taking away everything she had. She fucking HATES them. She's nurtured that hate, fantasized about what she would do if she had any power at all. This isn't difficult to understand, at least for me. If you dislike someone at work, you just get off eventually and get home. Then you just go about your day. If you hate the person however, you get home and they're still in your head. A dumb ass laugh, a fucked up tooth, the dumb ass way they breathe etc etc... hate and disliking isn't the same. It's been over a decade and my case worker still lives rent free in my head every now and then. Entirely illogical, makes no fucking sense, but I'll sure as hell go piss on her grave when she croaks. (Not that I'll know where she's buried, but it's a fun fantasy.) a perfect example of how dumb of an emotion hate is. Her character makes sense IMO. Sadly, things don't just go away or get better just because you tell yourself you're doing well, or are supposed to be happy because you have x. Emotions are illogical. Personally, I'm interested to see how the character develops, or how she falls
Jacob Spain
I think she has a shot at being redeemable. She’s still a traumatized child after all. But the kind of hatred she’s demonstrating usually doesn’t manifest until later in life.
ShadeByTheSea
I suspect the sects have lost a number of people to beasts over the years. Uncontrolled hate generally makes people sloppy though, so training to not hate beast should be a thing.
Sarah Grfghlt
I have to say I was also disappointed to see the chapter is about her. Her character is just so annoying. If she had more childlike traits or any character besides the resentment it would be better. And I don‘t believe a second a child wouldn’t play with a cutesy cub who loves it.
RedFaux
Li'er, stop being a racist bigot please. It's idiotic to group Beasts together anyway, they're literally all different species
tonright
Yes! I've been feeling bad for her partner because it is stuck to her. Not at all for her though. It feels like she has yet to express a single redeeming quality throughout the entire story to this point. Every time there's focus on her and it isn't her getting some kind of meaningful/significant consequences for her inability to follow basic instructions from literally anyone or to set aside her ridiculous hate/prejudice (that makes no sense) it's actually a disappointing. Her partner has every reason to hate her and doesn't at all, and she has no reason to be mad at it but literally daydreams about murdering the poor thing who sees her as family every few minutes. I would expect that anyone teaching her here wouldn't have been taking the whole "Ask those around you for help. We're here to support you." tone. I'd be telling her, quite sharply, to pull herself together and throw her ridiculous self pity and hatred of others aside. She has been granted a huge opportunity that literally nobody else in the world has. She also knows that someone who was not, in this setting, socially required to help her, made some kind of sacrifice to do so. God, I dislike her so much. Least favourite character. Pretty much irredeemably awful at this point. The only reason I don't want something horrible to happen to her is because it would mean something bad for the cute baby animal I have nothing against.
Jacob Spain
Hmm, so Li’er started as a plucky young girl with a tragic backstory but big dreams. She’s turning into a disrespectful and spiteful little hellion though. Maybe soften her up a bit? Struggling with her situation is one thing, but it’s starting to get hard to even root for her with how nasty her internal monologue has been in her last few appearances. I’m only bringing this up because I was disappointed to see that this chapter was about her, and if I’ve noticed myself feeling that way it’s gotten bad. Mind you, I’m not criticizing the direction you’re taking with her. It’s a good character development idea. Just give her some humanizing moments too. Like, let her be a little girl who still wants to do kid stuff sometimes instead of an angry adult in a child’s body. Petulance and stubbornness aren’t the only characteristics of children, even difficult ones.
