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Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don't (Chapter 9)
🕑 Added 2023-06-30 16:41:42 +0000 UTCWe sat around a small wooden table in silence, waiting for Jed to speak.
“…you’ll stay here for tonight.”
He finally spoke, his tone brooking no dissent.
Lily looked at him in surprise.
“What do you mean?”
Erik and I followed her eyes, gazing questioningly at our father.
“Someone needs to look after the homestead.”
He crossed his burly arms in front of his chest, glaring darkly from underneath heavy brows.
Lily’s expression turned worried. Carefully extending her arm, she gripped one of Jed’s hands.
“It’s not safe. The property isn’t worth losing your life over.”
Jed looked at her quietly, seemingly dissatisfied with her dissent.
“I’ve made my decision.”
Lily looked like she wanted to protest further, but after biting her lip, she shook her head.
“At least take a few men with you. We still have some savings. You can…”
However, before she could finish, Jed interrupted her gruffly.
“Let’s not talk about this anymore…”
His amber eyes drifted from his distraught wife to Erik, sitting next to me.
“…there’s something more important to discuss.”
Feeling my shoulders tense up, I looked at my brother as well, as did Lily.
For a moment, silence reigned. Everyone’s eyes were equally cloudy, contemplating the elephant in the room.
Eventually, Jed continued.
“Erik, what did father John tell you?”
Bearing Jed’s direct scrutiny, my brother’s neck involuntarily shrunk inwards. This type of reactive fear had been beaten into both of us.
“He said that I must take the next caravan to Northshire, and that he prepared a letter of recommendation for me.”
Hearing this, I nodded my head inwardly. It was as I expected.
Jed showed no reaction, while Lily clutched her skirts under the table.
“This is an opportunity you can’t afford to miss.”
I listened to our father talk, feeling a little surprised. Now that Erik had been chosen by the Light, I expected him to be more reverent toward my brother.
However, neither his tone nor his body language had changed at all.
Erik’s expression went from worried to excited, then back to worried.
“Father, I don’t… I mean, are you sure? With these… monsters. If some is injured, I can help-…”
One jerky sentence after another exited his mouth, trying and failing to verbalize the mess that his mind had undoubtedly become.
It was Lily who tenderly touched his face, causing his rambling to stop.
“Erik, you haven’t even had your coming of age yet. Neither your father nor I need you to look after us, we can take care of ourselves.”
Seeing his unconvinced expression, she smiled while stroking his hair.
“Besides, the Light has given you such a wonderful gift. Even father John said he’d never seen anything like it. It would be both disrespectful and a waste if you never learned how to use it.”
Listening to her, my eyes narrowed involuntarily. What my stepmother said was indeed true—Erik had undoubtedly performed [Resurrection] on me, a miracle that shouldn’t be possible for a new chosen.
(By the way, I decided to change the naming scheme for magic in this story. Priests and paladins don’t cast ‘spells’, but ‘miracles’.)
Comparing him to father John, an old priest who could only perform the most basic miracles, Erik’s gift was clearly not simple.
While Erik mulled over his mother’s words, his expression conflicted, Jed suddenly spoke again.
“If you’re faithful and diligent, it wouldn’t be strange for an Order to select you. You might even receive a title with a plot of land.”
His words caused Lily and Erik to look at him in surprise. However, I, possessing knowledge of both the game and medieval world from earth, thought this was probably an understatement.
Erik’s uneasy expression gradually brightened.
“A plot of land… like my own farm?”
Such an innocent, small-minded desire made me huff involuntarily, something my brother didn’t find all too pleasing.
“Hey, what are you laughing at?”
Looking upset, he jostled me with an elbow, but not nearly as hard as his usual roughhousing. My condition was likely still on his mind.
I almost rolled my eyes, but looking at Jed and Lily’s serious expressions, I didn’t dare.
“Never mind owning a farm, you’ll probably receive your own barony. Just think of mayor Thompson, he’s basically in charge of everyone here and he’s just a farmer.”
I didn’t want to insinuate that my family was ignorant, because they really weren’t—neither Lily nor Jed could be called stupid. However, having lived all their lives in Westbrook, it was inevitable they didn’t understand the world.
Erik and Lily’s eyes widened as they started really considering the implications of what it meant to join a holy order, but Jed’s expression was scrutinizing.
“…where did you hear this?”
I swallowed involuntarily, realizing I probably said too much. Similar to how it didn’t make sense for my family to know these matters, it didn’t make sense for me either.
Putting on a forgetful act, I scratched my head awkwardly.
“Sorry Father, but I can’t remember. Probably, I overheard people talking somewhere in town.”
However, Jed’s piercing gaze didn’t let up, but intensified. It was only after a long, uncomfortable moment that he finally spoke.
“That’s right, you’ve always asked around, looking for a way to leave Westbrook. It isn’t strange that you heard a few things.”
Hearing his words, I was shocked at first, then embarrassed.
Over the years, I gathered a lot of information, trying to leave the village. I never thought my father would care much either way, so I wasn’t too inconspicuous when going about it.
Erik and Lily also looked at me, their expressions complicated. However, they didn’t seem the least bit surprised.
Noticing this, my face grew even hotter. It was clear I’d been caught out long ago, but I didn’t have a clue how to defend myself, nor did I know why Jed was bringing it up in the first place.
“Uh, I…”
Feeling a rush of shame, I started stuttering. While my family and I had our differences, I wasn’t really dissatisfied with them. In this medieval-feudal time-period, their treatment of me couldn’t be considered bad at all. Instead, my actions were driven by a desire to improve myself, and to not be helpless in the face of oncoming disasters.
“…it’s not what you think. I just…”
The words caught in my throat. I was I supposed to explain myself? I didn’t know.
Fortunately, Erik rescued me from my predicament, laying his hand on my shoulder.
“I understand, Arne. You always wanted to join the Stormwind Guard, right?”
He stared patiently into my eyes.
I didn’t have to fake my surprise. Erik even knew this?
Lily revealed a look of astonishment while Jed raised his thick eyebrows. It needed to be said the ambition was indeed not small—for a peasant boy like me, just getting the opportunity was already impossible.
There was a pregnant silence before Lily finally sighed, turning her gaze toward Jed.
“Why don’t you just tell him?”
Her tone revealed a hint of helplessness.
From beginning to end, Jed never removed his eyes from me.
“Alright…”
He spoke slowly, almost like he was still deciding his words.
“…since your goals align with your brother departing, we’ve decided you might as well go with him. His days will be devoted to worship, practice and study, and he won’t have time to care for daily needs. It shouldn’t be a problem to follow him as a servant-boy.”
Hearing this, my jaw almost fell to the floor.
Of course, I secretly hoped to go with Erik, but I knew it was just a foolish dream. After all, this time period wasn’t like the modern world where parents unilaterally supported their children, paying for food, clothing, education and other expenses.
Instead, having children was far more practical—no matter the parents’ trade, having a few extra pairs of hands was always helpful. Even more so when it came to physical trades; in fact, many jobs were impossible for a single person to perform alone, like running a farm and a smithy.
For this reason, I knew or rather expected Jed’s resistance to my leaving, but now it seems I was completely wrong. I couldn’t guess what he was thinking at all.
As for the matter of me becoming Erik’s servant, I wasn’t bothered in the least. No other child in my position would be either—it was simply an opportunity sent from Heaven.
However, my joy from realizing a long-standing ambition soon soured. In the end, I was still worried about what would happen to Jed and Lily if they stayed behind.
“What about you guys? Isn’t it possible to sell the homestead? Then we can all go together. Besides, with everything happening so suddenly, I have a bad feeling…”
Feeling pressured and worried, I attempted to convince my father and stepmother. Lily’s eyes did flicker briefly, but after seeing Jed’s resolute look, she aligned her mood with his.
“Don’t be foolish. The caravan will be leaving soon and father John already made arrangements.”
Without hesitation, Jed put his foot down, not allowing me to speak.
However, I was unresigned, gritting my teeth and continuing.
“But…”
Suddenly, Jed slammed his palm on top of the rickety wooden table, causing it to rattle dangerously.
“My decision is final!”
His infamously short temper flared up, causing the hairs of his thick beard to tremble imperceptibly.
I promptly swallowed any further protests, my neck involuntarily drawing inwards. When Jed was like this, never mind persuading him, just speaking up would probably leave me with bruises for the next week, possibly even bed-ridden.
He abruptly stood, almost sending his small wooden stool to the ground. Then, without saying anything else, he walked out of the little wooden shed, his destination unknown.
After a period of silence, Lily looked at me and Erik in turn, wearing a complicated smile.
“Your Father knows what he’s talking about, so we better listen to him. Us three will stay here until the caravan departs. I’ll ask a few of the men to bring things from the homestead—the rest of your things will need to be bought from the market. In the meantime, you two better start saying goodbye to your friends…”
Erik and I exchanged glances, and I saw a hint of something bittersweet reflected on his face. On top of having friends, there was also Grace, while I basically had no-one.
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The next few days passed in a blur.
We three continued living on church grounds while Jed stopped by now and then. He was mostly fine, except for a long, bloody scar that suddenly appeared on his face, reaching down his neck and below the hem of his shirt. Lily, Erik and I were understandably distraught, but Jed ignored our queries completely.
However, I’d already guessed it had something to do with the nighttime shouts drifting from outside the village. Things definitely seemed to be getting worse…
Not only that, but the smoke seemed to be getting thicker. Unable to suppress the worry in my heart, I cornered Jed during one visit, disregarding my personal safety. I did my best to convince him of the possibility of a monster invasion.
Jed was clearly annoyed, and the conversation wasn’t very productive, but at least it didn’t seem like he ignored me. Instead, it was as if he found it insulting—that his ten-year-old-son was lecturing him about something so obvious.
It was only later that I found out father John already communicated with the capital, and that reinforcements were on their way. I assumed it was via some kind of magical artifact—after all, there was no way a letter could travel hundreds and hundreds of miles within a few days. Regardless, it helped alleviate some of my worry, and eased my sense of guilt over being so incompetent.
Unlike Erik, I didn’t have any friends, so no goodbyes needed to be said. However, I did stop by a few of the shops I frequented, including Mr. Lively’s charcoal hut. Unfortunately, the door was nailed shut. I could only return dejectedly, unable to express my gratitude to one of the few people who treated me kindly.
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