Brandon Twice
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Paulie's Lucky Bandana
🕑 Added 2019-09-07 00:58:01 +0000 UTCA puddle was starting to form beneath Paulie’s sweat-drenched 300 lb body as he stared at the “Out of Order” sign on the private showers. He had thirty minutes before his next client and there was no way he could train him still soaked by that day’s explosive leg workout. Bix, the janitor, gave him a pat on his big shoulder and responded to Paulie’s quizzical look.
“Sorry big man,” old Bix said, waving a wrench in his hand. He scratched his filthy white beard and shrugged. “Plumbing’s a damned nightmare in there. I’m doing what I can to get it fixed up but they’re calling in some pros in a bit.”
“No way I can just get a quick shower?” Paulie asked in his deep voice.
Bix shook his head. “No can do. Turn on the water and it floods the floor below. Looks like you’re going to have to wash up with the regular-sized folk downstairs.”
As he stepped out of the private locker room area, Paulie scanned Global Gym. It was noon on a Wednesday. The place was packed. He gently touched the sopping wet bandana tied around his head and tried to imagine showering down there. There would probably be a dozen guys in the gym, half of whom were probably part of the entourage that had watched him leg press thirty plates plus his lifting partner, Clint, riding the top of the machine.
Maybe he could just shower with his bandana on. Fuck them. He was Paulie Catalano, biggest pro bodybuilder at Global Gym. Those wannabe fucks were always begging to spot him or for tips on dosing gear. Who cares if they thought showering with a bandana on was weird? Better than letting them see what would happen if he took it off.
Downstairs on the floor, Eddie fist-bumped a few sycophantic gym-goers and smiled a few female trainers as he headed to the public locker rooms. Maybe he could do a little flexing, intimidate some of the lunch-time clientele out so he could take a shower in peace.
He was intercepted by Rex McDaniel, the retired NFL lineman and arguably Paulie’s only competition for “biggest guy at Global Gym”--but where Paulie was 300 pounds of perfectly mounded muscle mass, Rex was just a brick wall of hairy meat. Paulie tanned and hairless body contrasted shar[ply with Rex’s tattooed, bearded and lightly furry form. At 6’5” Rex stood a whole head taller than Paulie’s 5’10”, but each man recognized the other as both a giant and an equal. Rex gave Paulie a playful shrug and winked at him.
“Big boy, saw you moving some weight earlier!” he exclaimed. Paulie shrugged and smiled. “God damn, looks like you could knock the Earth of its orbit if you flexed hard enough. One of these days you and me gotta do legs together.”
Paulie grinned back. “Next week? Let’s set some world records together.”
Rex nodded and the two bumped their massive fists together. “Sounds good big man! See you around.”
The locker room was packed, as Paulie had predicted. There were three guys showering and a half-dozen guys changing. Paulie had fifteen minutes to get ready for his next client. He could cancel, but this was his first session with the guy, an arrogant 21 year old with big bodybuilding dreams who casually slung around his fat trust fund account. If Paulie could put up with the kid’s attitude, this could be some major cash, but he didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot by cancelling.
“What’s up, Hulk!”
Paulie didn’t recognize the middle-aged guy fist-bumping him but he smiled and acknowledged him anyway. Probably an Instagram fan.
“Man, your legs are fucking HUGE!” The guy was blond and in decent shape with a toothy-grin in a mouth he never closed. “You gotta tell me how to get that kind of size! You all natty bro?” He winked and chuckled at what he thought was a hilarious joke. “I’m just playing! I’m just playing. I’m Andy.”
“Nice to meet you,” Paulie said kindly. He had a reputation at the gym as a gentle giant, and while he wanted to one-hand this loser through the lockers, he knew that reputation played a big part in his bodybuilding career.
“You and that bandana!” Andy said as he reached for it. Paulie jerked away and stopped Andy’s hand. “Man, what is that, your good luck charm or something? I saw it on your Muscular Development spread and in all your contest pics. You’ve been wearing that thing since you turned pro!”
Paulie nodded as he stared over Andy’s shoulder. Two of the guys showering had finished, but another had gone in.
“What’s it, the secret to your size or something? That bandana how you got so huge?”
“Maybe,” Paulie said as he started to walk around Andy toward the bathroom stalls beyond the showers.
“Man, I gotta get me a bandana like that!” Andy said as Paulie walked away.
Maybe, Paulie thought as he approached a stall, I could do this like Superman. He looked around. There was one older gentleman blow-drying his hair and no one else nearby. He opened up the bathroom stall and squeezed his big body inside. He waited a few minutes, peering under the stall until he saw the older man leave, and then gently reached up and pulled his bandana off.
The rush nearly overwhelmed him as his entire form deflated. In an instant the constant joint pain, the strain of carrying around 300 pounds at all times, plus the raw ache of his constantly healing muscle fibers, was suddenly relieved. When the vertigo passed he looked around a bathroom stall that seemed unfamiliar now that it was, relative to him now, twice its size.
He quickly snatched up the compression tights that had pooled on the floor. His tank top hung off him like a dress. Weighed down by sweat, it slid down his slender new form which fit easily through the neck hole. He peered under the stalls again. There was no one around. He could make it to the showers and back without a witness now--and if anyone saw him, there was no way they would recognize him. He shoved his clothes into his gym bag along with his bandana, digging out his towel. It seemed so heavy now and he could wrap it around himself twice. He still had to hold on to it to get it to stay up. He left the gym bag on the toilet. It had his name embroidered into it so he couldn’t carry it now, although he was quite certain nobody would fuck with it either.
He walked unsteadily at first; it was always hard to get used to moving around in this new body. Everything in the locker room looked imposingly huge to him compared to the way he remembered it just moments ago. The tiles looked huge, the door handles too high. He could barely see himself in the mirror over the bathroom counter, just from the chin up, and the pale face still looked unrecognizable to him.
Most bizarre was the ease of movement now that he was only 120 pounds (once he had fearfully weighed himself without his bandana on; he had to know, although the knowledge made the transformation worse). He was used to massively blown out quads he had to swing around each other just to move, plus a much longer stride. He was only 5’2” tall now, and while taking a step was easier, crossing a room was more difficult. All of it made his little head spin.
Between him and the showers was Andy, chatting up a beefy trainer named Dylan who kept checking his watch and edging toward the door. Clearly Andy was one of “those guys,” fascinated by the “big boys” without the self awareness to realize he was bothering them. Paulie’s stomach went cold at the sight of Andy (especially the way Andy towered over him now--and the fact that he looked HUGE in comparison to Paulie’s scrawny little frame now). But Andy didn’t even bat an eye, nor did Dylan, who had approached Paulie hours ago for advice on building his chest. Paulie hastened his little steps to get past them, then turned the shower knobs (which were at chest height for him now).
He shivered as the towel came off. He glanced nervously at the two other men showering, each of them several shower-heads away. They barely noticed him, but for some reason, nudity while he looked like a runt made him visibly shake. Revealing his bony body, his tiny hands and feet, and worst of all his diminutive dick made him feel so vulnerable. Before he had taken his bandana off these guys were average nobodies. Each of his quads was the same distance around as their waist sizes. Now they were big and scary, each with enough strength to snap him in half. It didn’t matter. In minutes he’d be big again. He lathered up his body quickly, rinsed off, then darted from the showers, drying himself as he headed back for the stall.
Andy was gone, as was Dylan. A guy Paulie didn’t recognize was brushing his teeth, another younger man combing his hair. Paulie’s wet little feet slid on the tile as he hurried back to the stall, drawing both of their attentions as he slipped and stumbled by. Back in the safety of the stall, he pulled his feet up, pulled the heavy gym bag into his lap, and fished through it.
His heart stopped. This couldn’t be happening. The bandana was gone.
Paulie shook as his cell phone vibrated. It was a text from his client, Walter: “Where the hell are you?” He started hyperventilating. He opened the bathroom stall and stumbled out, unzipping the gym bag and searching through its contents. It was nowhere to be found.
“Hey little man,” said a deep rumbling voice. Paulie audibly gasped, his knees going weak, as he looked up, up, UP at the huge man staring down at him with his hands on his hips. He almost didn’t recognize the monstrous tower of muscle as Rex. Paulie had never seen a human being so big in his life--the last time he’d seen Rex they were nearly the same bodyweight. “You okay? What’s going on in here?”
Even Rex’s voice conveyed power, deep and low and rumbling in a way Paulie could feel in his own chest (the way his own voice used to be!). Paulie stammered as he tried to think of something to say.
“Pretty sure that’s my buddy’s gym bag,” Rex said, sliding Paulie’s little body aside with one hand as he started gathering up the emptied contents. “I don’t think he’d appreciate you fucking with his shit--and if you’re not careful, he could smash you into a stain on the wall with ease, little man. I’m gonna do you a favor and not tell him cuz I don’t want to see anyone squashed today, but how about you run back to your little 5 pound dumbbells and quit messing with the big boys?”
Paulie’s mouth was bone dry. He nodded, pulled his towel around him tightly and walked slowly into the locker room where he sat, shocked, as Rex walked away with his things. The men on either side of him were twice his size now. Neither one of them could have weighed over 200 pounds.
And if he didn’t find his bandana, Paulie would be the smallest man in the room for the rest of his life.
