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A New Batch of Headlines For You, Yes You, to Pose.
🕑 Added 2019-06-26 23:36:56 +0000 UTCHello everyone,
Thanks for the continued support, we have a new crop of headlines for your viewing pleasure. Also, we are bringing Metal Week back, long time fans will remember Metal Week as the most satanic and extreme week of satire to ever exist. Keep your eyes peeled for that.
Give the headlines below a look, if you see a Hard Drive headline you like email jeremy@thehardtimes.net, if you see a Hard Times headlines email bill@thehardtimes.net. This is first come, first serve, so if you see something you like let us know.
Hard Drive Headlines, email jeremy@thehardtimes.net to claim.
Olympic Committee to Include 200m Naruto Run at 2020 Games
DESCRIPTION: Full body image of someone doing Naruto run in front of a blank background. Preferably in running gear.
Sunken-Eyed Community Manager in Dead End Job Totally Hears What You’re Saying, Will Pass It on to Developers
DESCRIPTION: Tired person at computer
Rogue Valve Developer Works on Game
DESCRIPTION: Programmer coding
Opinion: This Isn't Actually a Spoiler
DESCRIPTION: Annoying person in conversation
Elite Gaming Keyboard Used to Book Funeral Arrangements
DESCRIPTION: Person using mechanical keyboard
Real Life Also Harder on Veteran Mode
DESCRIPTION: Depressed army veteran
Natural 20 Wasted On Rogue’s Attempt To Do A Cool Flip
DESCRIPTION: People/person playing D&D
Man Equips Lvl 4 Gear for Lvl 30 Date
DESCRIPTION: Guy dressed down on his way to a date
Meet Gary, The First Ever Person to Pay For Photoshop
DESCRIPTION: Guy using PhotoShop
Gamer Parent Calls Every Piece of Son’s Sport Equipment a Nike
DESCRIPTION: Adult mid-argument holding a piece of sporting equipment (football, soccer ball, etc). Kid in the photo would be extra cool.
Report: 20-Member Group Chat Much Worse in Person
DESCRIPTION: A group of 20 people looking bored.
Dave & Busters Now Provides a Small Child to Stare Silently While You Play Shooters
DESCRIPTION: Someone playing a shooter at Dave and Busters while a child stares at them.
GameStop Employee Worried Middle Aged Woman Is Buying M-Rated Game for Tiny Child Next to Her
DESCRIPTION: Woman buying game at GameStop.
Finally: Nintendo Goes Door to Door to Patch Wavedashing Out of Melee
DESCRIPTION: Person outside a door holding a gamecube or copy of Melee
Twitch Sub Cancelled After Mention of Boyfriend
DESCRIPTION: Webcam image of woman playing a video game
Couple Can’t Wait to Have Kids So They Have Someone New They Can Force to Play Ocarina of Time
DESCRIPTION: A couple
Tabletop Fallout RPG Somehow Still Full of Glitches
DESCRIPTION: Person playing Fallout board game
New Snapchat Filter Shows What You'd Look Like Without Crippling Student Loan Debt
DESCRIPTION: Over the shoulder pic of someone taking a selfie
Eldest Son Incurs Late Father’s Steam Backlog
DESCRIPTION: Man looking at Steam library on computer
Anti-Loot Box Senator Wakes Up to Crate With 1/5 Chance of Containing Horse Head
DESCRIPTION: Horrified man in bed (like the Godfather scene) - will photoshop lootbox unless you wanna include a box
Hard Times headlines, email bill@thehardtimes.net to claim
Old High School Friends Excited to Hang Out, Talk Shit On Whoever Couldn't Make It
Undercover Journalist Just Needs Another Two to Three Years of Research Before Leaving Sex Cult
Kilt Guy at Dropkick Murphy's Show Playing a Dangerous Game by Crowd Surfing
Serious Hardcore Fan Sleeps With Arms Crossed
Woman at Poorly-Attended Show Not Even Banging Any of These Dudes
Roadie Traded For New Tire
Small Town's Dark Secret Not Nearly Interesting Enough To Tear Community Apart
Religious Guy Hits The Fucking Jackpot at Goodwill Vinyl Section
Disgraced Female Body Inspector Turns in His Gun and T-Shirt
Mayhem Cover Band Already Killed Each Other
Metal Band Seeking Guitarist That Is Influenced By Same 173 Bands They Are
Anti-Fascist Black Metal Band Only Advocates Unbiased Mass Slaughter of Innocents
Punk WIth Fresh Hand Tattoo Engages in Tense Stand-Off With Stamp-Wielding Bouncer
Smiths Fan Desperately Pushing Conspiracy Theory Real Morrissey Died Decades Ago
Bored Lifeguard Wishes Someone Would Just Drown Already
Punk Talking Way Out of Ticket and Into Assault Charge
Modern Day Goldilocks Settles on Cleanest Bathroom Stall
Friend Finally Checks Out Band You Suggested 13 Years Ago and Fucking Hate Now
Concussed Punk Has Heard Band But Hasn’t Heard of Them
Punk Totally Doesn’t Give a Fuck But Prefers Guests Use Coasters, Also Fuck Cops
Man Pretends to Thoughtfully Peruse Beer List Before Picking Based on Alcohol Content
$8,000 Sound Board Won’t Fit in $700 Car
Bong Embarks On Six Person Tour Starting In Back of Van
Autographed Morrissey Album Valued Less Than Unsigned Copy
Punk Cooking Site Starts Recipe With 1,000 Word Drunken Fight Story
First Date Red Flags Disregarded Because of Mutual Favorite Band, Desperation
Guy Who Bought Vinyl Before Show Moshing Carefully
Friend Will Be Live on College Radio Station From 1am to 4am If You Want to Tune In
Band Apologizes for Long Silence on Social Media that Nobody Noticed
Google Search Fails to Determine If Band Racist or Not
Phantom of the Venue Terrorizes Concertgoers After Being Rejected By Female Bartender
'Big Things On The Horizon' Posts Friend About To Ask Everyone For Money
Punk Band Cannot Refuse Any Favors Asked Of Them On This, The Day Of Their Album Release Party
Man Blurts Out "I Can't Make It" Before Friend Says When His Band is Playing
Frontman Takes Bold Stance Against Everything He Will Be Accused Of Next Month
Local Scene Emerges Around Teen with Biggest Basement, Worst Parents
Man Substitutes Sleeping Pills With Paragraph of Friends “No Holds Barred” Political Zine
Girl Wearing NASA T-Shirt Has Never Even Been To Space
Helicopter Mom Really Enjoying Tour So Far
New California Law Bans "High Capacity" Zines Capable of Reaching More Than Ten People
Man Asks Record Store Employee If They Validate Opinions
Violent, Rage-Filled Incel Turns 15
Guy Alone at Show Stoked to See Long Line at Bathroom
Haircut Noticed
Punk Upset Constant Anti-Capitalism Rants Result in Third Consecutive Birthday with No Gifts
