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Headlines for You to Pose and Make All Your Friends Jealous
🕑 Added 2019-11-20 01:44:04 +0000 UTCHello everyone, sorry for the delay in headlines. We just got off of our book tour and everything was thrown out of whack. Speaking of the book, have you picked up your copy? Go check it out at your local bookstore, we know you will love it.
Anyway, here are the headlines available for posing. The Hard Times headlines are at the top. If you see something you like email Bill to claim the headline bill@thehardtimes.net. Scroll down and you will find Hard Drive and if you see something there that suits you well email Jeremy to snag the headline jeremy@thehardtimes.net. Thanks everyone.
The Hard Times headlines email bill@thehardtimes.net to claim:
Papa Roach Fan Still Alive Weeks After Head Severed
Ambitious punk already done with holiday shoplifting
Fatso Leaves Shirt on While Drumming
Wasted Friend Offers Play by Play of Ass Kicking He Would Have Given Dude Who Cut You in Line if He Tried Pulling That Shit on Him
Pop Punk Bass Player Wearing Godflesh Shirt Clearly Wishes He Was In A Different Band
Emo Album That Got Man Through Depressive Period Actually Made It Much Worse
PC Punk Stoked To Find Out That He and Bandmate Are “Inuit Inupiaq Brothers”
Lonely Guy Starts Group Chat With Cell Phone Bill Reminders, Bernie Campaign Texts
Local Man Takes Up MMA to Defend Himself in Fight He’ll Probably Instigate
33-Year-Old Bummed After Remembering He's 37
Amateur GG Allin Impersonator Can't Go With Everyone Watching Him
Favorite Band Playing Favorite Song Still Loses Woman's Applause to Holding a Warm PBR
Christian Rock Groupie Waiting Until Marriage to go Backstage
Plan to Tell Boss to Fuck Off Tweaked to Thank You For the Opportunity
Mom Shares Adorable Anecdote about Single Most Damaging Experience from Daughter's Childhood
Lying frontman can clearly hear the motherfuckers in the back
Punk Who Signed Up to Run Marathon Shits Self at Starting Line
Punk Realtor Excited to Show Off Home’s Unfinished Basement
Lying Awake Contemplating Mortality Only Consistent Part of Bedtime Routine
REPORT: Half of All iPhone Storage Dedicated to Screenshots Sent to Friends to Talk Shit
Hardcore Frontman Wants to Open Up this Relationship
Polyamorous Lifestyle Keeping Woman Open To Variety Of Disappointing Sexual Experiences
Local Skater Manages to Fit Four Puns in Roller Derby Name
Serial Killer Stoked to Find 20 Teeth Left in Jeans Pocket
Kid Brother of Guitarist Guesses He Has to Learn Bass Now
Aging Frontman Keeping Shirt On Later and Later Into Set
OG Office Punk Who’s Always Had Q4 Presenters Back Through It All Moves Up to Front In Conference Room B
Local Folk Punk Band Accidentally Books Paid Gig
Big-Time Idiot Has Whole Plan to Turn Life Around, Chase Dreams
Selfless Woman Instagrams Donation of Hulu Password to Less Fortunate Friend
Friend Will Be Live on College Radio Station From 1am to 4am If You Want to Tune In
Man Asks Record Store Employee If They Validate Opinions
Horrible Roommate Excited to Be One with Grievance for Once
Man In Audience Upset To Learn Mighty Mighty Bosstones Have Written New Songs Since 1997
Friend Back with Band You Spent Months Shit-Talking After Breakup
Punk Sommelier Recommends Pre-2015 Franzia
Only Black Kid in Class Pulling Overtime as Only Black Kid at Show
Boyfriend Doesn't Really Want Anything for Birthday Besides Elaborate Sex Act You Hate Doing
Punk Hoping Dad's Trump Support is Just a Phase
No One on DIY Tour Can Change Tire
Man Reading Alone at Bar Prefers to Drink Alone at Library
Exhibitionist Punk Removes Tape From Webcam
Hard Drive headlines email jeremy@thehardtimes.net to claim:
Olympic Committee to Include 200m Naruto Run at 2020 Games
Elite Gaming Keyboard Used to Book Funeral Arrangements
Real Life Also Harder on Veteran Mode
Twitch Sub Cancelled After Mention of Boyfriend
Couple Making Out at Barcade Rudely Blocking Ms. Pac-Man Cabinet
Street Sign Trampled by DDR Fan
Welcome to New York City! If You’re Looking for Work, I Heard Paul at Lucy’s Tavern Is Looking to Hire Someone for an Errand. Rumors? Something Fishy Has Been Happening Outside the Statue of Liberty Lately. Strange Noises. You Won't Catch Me Anywhere Near It. And Stay Out of the Sewers. That’s Where the Thieves Live
Elderly Man Kindly Rewinds YouTube Video to the Start So Next Viewer Doesn't Have To
Worried College Student Calls University Health Services After Roommate Returns With Multiple JRPGs
Spy Can’t Stop Playing With Cyanide Pill Tooth
Online Relationship Has No Plans for Physical Release
The 5 Best Gaming Headsets For Just Listening to a Nice Audio Book Once In a While
5th Friend Who ‘Doesn’t Mind Watching Everyone Else Play’ Awarded Nobel Peace Prize
Gaming Addiction Study Participant Pretty Sure He Got Placebo [pic of gamer playing a blank screen]
Freddy Krueger Getting Real Freaked Out By Evangelion Fan's Dreams
Gamer Stealths Past Another Major Life Milestone
Sagging Interest in ‘Law and Order: SVU’ Renewed for Local Gamer After Ice-T Mentions Fortnite Offhand
Gamer Spices Up Resume With 'Spends Hours Daily Solving Puzzles, Cooperating With Teammates, and Clearing Objectives'
Stoner Immediately Forgets Spoiler
So-Called Pianist Doesn’t Even Know Any Castlevania Songs
Con Attendee Regretting Death Stranding Cosplay [with a pic of a guy carrying 12 suitcases]
Proud Raspberry Pi Owner Has Played 5 Minutes of Every Video Game
Vacationing Gamer Impressed With How True Florence is to Assassin’s Creed II
Friends Tearfully Loot Gamer’s Corpse at Funeral to Pay Respects
Deadpool ‘I've Got Issues’ Shirt Already Raising Mental Health Awareness
Gamer Doctor Saves Life Twice Just In Case
Choosing My Own Adventure: I Only Used Gmail Smart Replies for a Week and Lost My Job
35-Year-Old Man Still Sees Pediatrician With N64 in Waiting Room
Disappointment After Dad Officially Announces Mom 2
Parents Blame Poorly-Made Video Games For Son’s Boring, Glitchy Outbursts
