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🕑 Added 2024-01-05 08:38:26 +0000 UTC
Orlando, FL – In a surprising change of plans, the Walt Disney Company has greenlit a Kingdom Hearts attraction for Orlando’s EPCOT Resort, according to reports. The ride, canonically taking place between Kingdom Hearts Coded and Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance, is expected to have a four hour pre-show leading up to a 3 minute and 15 second ride.
In A D23 exclusive event, Josh D’Amaro, Chairman of Disney Parks and Resorts, revealed the latest Disney/Square Enix collaboration, “Chip and Dale will be bringing their friends Sora, Donald, Goofy, Kairi and Riku to EPCOT with our new attraction, Gummi Mission: SPACE, set to blast off Summer 2024”
The ride will be an overlay of Mission: SPACE, a simulated trek to Mars that lets the rider choose between two experiences; a gentle flight with little turbulence, or a nausea-inducing puke box from hell. The updated attraction will similarly give the guest a choice.
The ‘Heartless Queue’ will show a condensed 45 minute synopsis of the Kingdom Hearts story, or the "Nobody Queue” which will contain a cohesive 4-hour documentary of the Keyblade War narrated by Jiminy Cricket.
“While I hope our guests are entertained by the dense lore and story telling only the minds behind Final Fantasy could create, we do understand time management is important when visiting our park. The shows will be an optional experience for our guests like the horror movie we used to show after the Viking ride in the Norway Pavilion.” D’Amaro remarked when questioned about the pre-show’s length.
The internet has been divided since the announcement. Some have criticized the massive wait time as a way to dilute the long line at Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind. While others don’t think 4 hours is enough time to explain Xion, Larxene, Luxord, Axel, Demyx, Siax, Xaldin, Xigbar, Xemnas, and the rest of Organization XIII thoroughly.
“Whatever direction they go with the ride, I hope they stay true to the Kingdom Hearts story and not introduce a Disney character until 2 hours in.” says self proclaimed Kingdom Hearts expert, u/TraverseTownie64 on Reddit.
The ride’s gift shop is expected to sell replica keyblades and weapons for Aqua, Terra, Ventus, Vexen, Vanitas, Roxas, Riku Replica, Marluxia, Ansem, Ansem the Wise, Terranort and Xehanort starting at $500.
Comments
John Bacon
I audibly laughed
Hokius
As a huge Kingdom Hearts fan, this is comedy gold and one of the reasons I chose to support y'all!
