thehardtimes
patreon
🕑 Added 2024-01-18 17:00:09 +0000 UTC
WASHINGTON — Democratic donors recently received a plea from the Biden campaign featuring a direct appeal from the President asking for assistance connecting his computer to the White House’s wireless network, sources confirm.
“It’s honestly getting annoying,” said Adrian Daniels, a frequent campaign volunteer who signed up for the Biden administration’s mailing list during the 2020 election. “Just last week, he said he needed help updating his anti-virus. It turns out that the license for the free premium demo was running out. We tried to explain that the basic protection plan would still work, but he said that he kept getting pop-ups about it. And don’t even get me started about the robo-calls asking us which TV remote he’s supposed to use when he wants to watch a DVD.”
President Biden issued a follow-up statement clarifying the email.
“Folks, let me be clear,” said President Biden through an aide who can type faster than 40 words per minute. “I have already tried the password posted on the refrigerator. I tried it once with big letters and once with small letters. It didn’t work. I think maybe one of you changed it the last time you were at the White House. I’m not blaming you. I just need your help. I do a jazz hour on the Alexa every night at seven, and she keeps telling me that she can’t connect. This should never happen in America.”
Presidential historians noted that this is not the first time that voters have been taken off-guard by unconventional outreach strategies.
“Of course, President Reagan was famous for his phone calls,” said Leona Wilson, professor of history at Columbia University. “Many Americans had the joy of picking up the phone during election season only to hear that familiar, kindly voice saying, ‘Hello, this is President Reagan, and I need your help. I don’t know where I am. There’s all these people around me who claim to be my staff, but I know they’re impostors. I think they’re trying to kill me.’ And we all remember President Clinton’s much more personal approach to persuading voters. It’s nice to see that type of communication evolving in the digital age.”
At press time, President Biden was able to successfully access the WiFi after his aide re-typed the exact password posted on the refrigerator.
Article by Kyle Duggan.
Comments
Mike Kidwell
Okay, I LOL'ed at this one. Well done.
