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🕑 Added 2024-01-29 19:00:08 +0000 UTCKERFUFFLEVILLE — Bozo, a punk mouse living in the fictional children’s book town of Kerfuffleville, has reportedly taken up residence in a Marlboro Red carton, confirmed a whimsical assortment of anthropomorphic animals.
“I’ve been riding the rails and drifting from town to town. I finally landed here and I want to settle in, maybe start a band or something,” said Bozo, stretched out on a long discarded baby sock with a half-eaten piece of Gouda in his mouth. “I have lived in a ton of different places over the years, shabby boots, rotten cantaloupes, inside perfectly arched mouse holes, but this is the best spot I’ve ever been in! It’s roomy and smells like moldy cigarettes. Honestly heaven for a guy like me.”
Caitlyn Cat, a long-time resident of Kerfuffleville, has noticed the newcomers and is concerned about what the arrival of various punk critters might do to property values.
“It’s an invasion, if you ask me. Every day I watch them scurry off boxcars and take refuge in any detritus they can find. These ‘punks,’ if that’s what you want to call them, stay up way past bedtime, cuss, and drink soda pop on street corners downtown,” said the exasperated Cat. “And no matter what I say to the mayor or city council, they won’t do anything about the illegal music venue these critters have set up in an abandoned umbrella warehouse. They’re hanging up their obscene concert fliers all over town!”
Mr. Bear, the mayor of cute little town, understands the concerns of some citizens but contends that the influx of youngsters is helping jumpstart the local economy.
“Look, everyone knows this city was hit hard by the closure of the ladder factory, and I understand that some of our residents are upset with all the new folks coming to town,” said Mr. Bear. “And yes, we’ve had some issues with some ‘punk’ critters being loud and disorderly. That being said, we’ve seen a revival of our downtown area. Coffee shops and art galleries have begun to open, and Kerfuffleville is getting a reputation as a ‘hip’ place to be. So yes, are some of the fliers with band names like Gobblegoop, Terd, and Toilet Paste obscene? Sure. But we have to weigh the good with the bad.”
At press time, Bozo was questioning whether his roommate Lenny Lizard liked thrash band Burp Poop and challenged him to name three of their songs.
Article by Ryan Dondero.
