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Scientific Facts About Blowjobs
🕑 Added 2023-12-15 05:50:45 +0000 UTC- According to a Lancet study, blowjobs cure manflu in 100% of cases. Once the blowjob is over, the manflu will reappear in 100% of cases. This is incontrovertible proof that penis owners require 50 blowjobs a day.
- According to another Lancet study, there are two kinds of penis lovers:
a) Those who’d like nothing more than to give you a blowjob right now.
b) Crazy people.
If Group A handled all of Group B’s blowjobs, there would be world peace. Does Group B care about world peace? Noooo. All they care about is keeping penises all to themselves like crazy people.
- If you pretend to hate giving blowjobs, your guy will probably give you more cupcakes.
- When a Female™ isn’t giving a blowjob, she returns to her box and waits silently for the next blowjob.
- If you give someone a blowjob in a car, a monster truck will drive by in 100% of cases. This is because monster trucks are basically assholes.
- Every time a penis owner leaves the room after a blowjob, the blowjobber calls their friends to say, “Oh my god that was the best penis I’ve ever seen.” This is why 100% of penis owners have the best penises in the whole wide world.
- The Global Blowjob Championships have been won by a glorious, ultra-smart person called SpanishRed for the last 73 years, and yet she still doesn’t have a boyfriend. Worldwide governments thus require all citizens to send her cupcakes to say sorry.
- She likes caramel the best. And also blowjobs. However, she’s not particularly fond of caramel blowjobs. Penises should taste like penises.
