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Contract for Brattish Shenanigans
🕑 Added 2024-04-07 06:02:03 +0000 UTCThis contract is entered into between The Sacred Brat and the dominant, who is very, very tired, now.
For the purposes of this contract, “shenanigans” shall be defined as “anything the brat finds amusing that the dominant should really learn to appreciate more.”
Shenanigans may include, but shall not be limited to, sticking Googly eyes on penises, knitting hats for penises, drawing smileys on penises, and taking photographs of smiley, well-dressed penises. It shall also include other equally entertaining things that have nothing to do with penises. Penis hats are definitely more fun, though.
Basically, if the brat calls them “shenanigans” they shall be classified as such.
If the dominant attempts to classify an act as a shenanigan, he shall be required to remember the size of his brat’s slave heart, which is so big it can’t even wear a penis hat.
Shenanigans shall be kept a secret from all dominants until they have been executed. Any brat who breaks their NDA shall be required to knit teeny penis hats for all the other brats for a period of one year.
Unless they can convince a dominant to do it for them.
Obviously dominant knitters are preferable. They should look after their own penises. Who do they think we are? Instruments of emotional labour? No. We are feminists.
The brat may redefine “shenanigans” at any time.
The dominant shall remember at all times that brats who don’t engage in shenanigans die a harrowing death by drowning in the tears of their own sorrow.
The dominant shall also remember that shenanigans are hard work and deserve a Nobel Prize or something.
If the dominant has no sneaky connections on the Nobel Prize Committee, he should award a Pulitzer.
The terms and conditions set forth herein were not written by a brat at all.
Were not.
Weren’t.
If the brat engages in particularly creative shenanigans that the dominant would never have thought of, the dominant shall provide rewards in the form of cupcakes, obviously.
This contract was not written by SpanishRed either.
Was not.
Comments
WiseAxe
Yeah huh.
