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24 – The curse of knowing (2/2)
🕑 Added 2023-05-16 14:53:47 +0000 UTCWhat followed was a thorough grilling about what happened, with Marc prying every little secret from Albert’s reluctant lips. The plan had always been to rewind this particular part of the conversation, as it was leading into not very nice topics, but he found that talking about it with someone beside his grandpa was finally allowing him to let out all his feelings and emotions he was keeping bottled up inside him. And, the more he talked, the less envious Marc became of his abilities. The more he explained., the less his friend behaved like he craved what Albert had.
“Man, I was so fucking scared. The system does not make me invulnerable, you know? I know that from that time I almost got beaten and impaled to death by goblins and flying monstrous bats. In fact, the damn system is unforgiving. It just pushes me and pushes me. It also rewards me, and I always end up with more quests than I can complete, all of them promising a new skill. Only some quests lead me into danger, don’t worry, haha.”
Marc’s eyes had been wide for a while at this point. “You almost died to monsters?”
“And traps in a sort of dungeon where I had to transform my hand into a furnace. The system did give me this ring for protection…”
“Ah, that’s why you suddenly started wearing rings. You always hated them.”
“Yeah,” Albert nodded, conceding the point. His friends did notice the change, after all, then. “But the ring has a very low charge and most of the time if I get hit once then it means I will get hit again. I have a healing skill, but it doesn’t negate the fact that it hurts like hell every time I get hit with something. And when I heal? Let me tell you, it feels like there’s something crawling beneath the skin. All the itching and the desire to scratch and peel it, just ten times more concentrated.”
“Please stop!” Marc faked a gag. “I don’t wanna hear it! This is horrible. I thought having magic and a system would be all nice and cool, but man! Count me out. I don’t want this shit.”
Albert didn’t know whether Marc was being serious or not. “You’re only saying it because you don’t have it.”
It was when Marc looked at him dead in the eye that he realized his friend was actually quite serious about it.
“Trust me. I don’t want it. Being put through daily “missions”? Going against rogue psychic maniacs? Avoiding death by nuclear bombs using time travel? Hell no, man. Hell no. That’s way too much risk and pain and responsibility for me, and all you get in return is more pain and suffering, with a little sprinkle of magic tricks? Nope.”
Albert almost felt offended. There was the relief of knowing that his friend was not envious of him, of course, but now he was talking about his gift like it was a curse?
“What about the abilities, then?”
“What about them?” Marc asked. “Abilities are cool if they make my life better, not if the price for having them is literal death knocking at your doorstep. You know all the shit about how with great power comes great responsibility? I don’t want to be forced to take those risks just because I woke up one day with powers. Hell no. I know you don’t agree, and that’s why I’m happy it was you and not me.”
Albert hummed pensively. “I mean, you might have a point. But listen, if I hadn’t stepped up, we would all be dead.”
“That might be so. But you know what? This makes it even easier for me to sleep at night, because you see… I could do nothing about it even if I knew about the missile! You, on the other hand? You pretty much had to act, your own feelings about it be damned. You couldn’t just say yeah nope let someone else deal with it. Ah. I know what you want to say. Because if you didn’t, yadda yadda. That’s my point. Responsibility, whether you want it or not. Me? I can just sit back and hope someone else saves me. Call me coward, if you want.”
There was a sense of disappointment that came over Albert, but it was not directed at Marc. What he said made perfect sense, even though it did not apply to him personally. For him, the responsibility and the risks were well worth the rewards. The limitless possibilities that having magic opened up for him. But he could also see why someone else like Marc, someone less willing to step in front of danger if needed, would see it that way. He knew Marc, and he knew that if it was Marc and not him who got the system, then Marc would have done all that needed to be done to avoid disaster.
But he would have hated every second of it. Albert… didn’t. He didn’t like to risk his life, sure. But he couldn’t in his heart say that the experience was a net negative for him. He learned a lot in his fight against PsyOps, and came out stronger because of that. The risk, the thrill… he had never felt more alive than in those brief moments when it all went wrong. When the adrenaline made his ears thump with the beat of his heart, when the cold and the rain faded away and all that was left was his own strength of will. When he prevailed, against all odds, against someone who the system had told him to avoid at all costs.
He could never go back to his old life, made of a empty house and classes and the greyness of city of concrete.
“You’re not a coward.” Albert said. “You are the sensible one. I think I might be the odd one here.”
Marc nodded, smiling. “Probably. But you know, I’m glad it was you who saved the world. Even though it was not really the whole world, but just a city. Still. If it ever came to the world, there is nobody I would trust more than you to be able to save us all. ‘Kay?”
There was a pause where the both of them processed their emotions. They shared a look, and went back to their respective sofas to stare into the frozen television, displaying the first frame of John Wick 3.
“We should totally tell Colin.”
“And Aubrey.” Marc said. “The two are a couple now.”
“Oh! Finally they got together! Yeah, we should totally tell them.”
“Maybe another day?”
“Totally another day.”
Neither of the two moved to grab the TV remote.
“Say,” Albert said. “Want to fuck around with magic some more?”
Marc did the eyebrows thing, making Albert giggle. “Well, of course, mister mage. I get to have all the fun while you also get the burden. What shall we set on fire as our first target?”
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