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Chapter 28: Rehearsal
🕑 Added 2025-04-02 01:07:44 +0000 UTCThe next day, Charlie sat at the piano, singing with all the enthusiasm he could muster—which, frankly, wasn’t much.
♪ Manpower, horsepower, coal and steam Moving forward the American dream Electric, atomic, solar too All this energy for me and you. ♪
I frowned. What the hell was this song?
Judith stood nearby, arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. “Oh gosh, I want to like it.”
“Yeah, want to like it,” Alan echoed, not sounding remotely convinced.
But then they both sighed in perfect unison.
Charlie paused mid-chord. “But...?”
Judith hesitated. “But I just don’t think it’s your best work.”
“It’s not,” Charlie admitted, slumping forward dramatically. “Please, fire me.”
Judith shook her head and glanced at Alan. “Do you remember that show we did in college?”
“Stormy Weather?” Alan said, suddenly nostalgic. “Of course.”
“Now those songs had a point of view,” Judith said.
“Yeah,” Alan nodded. “And you couldn’t get them out of your head.” Then, he started singing:
♪ Co-ed bathrooms, co-ed bathrooms ♪
Mom joined in without missing a beat:
♪ Co-ed bathrooms, co-ed bathrooms Wear your flip-flops in the co-ed bathrooms Stuff grows on the floor there And whoops! There's another pubic hair ♪
Charlie stared at them, eyes wide, caught somewhere between horror, disbelief, and existential dread. I mirrored the exact same expression.
Alan grinned. “See? Maybe the easiest way to do this is for us to write the actual song.”
“Yeah,” Judith agreed, nodding.
“Then Charlie could just toss in the musical notes and stuff,” Alan added. “Right, Charlie? What do you think?”
By that point, Charlie and I were already halfway to the kitchen, both of us silently agreeing we didn’t need to be part of that freak show.
Back in the living room, Dad noticed Charlie had abandoned the piano and turned to Judith. “Okay, then I guess it’s just the two of us.”
“Like the old days,” Judith said with a smirk.
“Yeah. Except this time I’m not a virgin.”
From the kitchen, I clenched my teeth and shouted, “T-M-I, Dad!”
Charlie and I were on the couch, trying to watch TV, when curiosity got the better of us.
“We should check on the musical geniuses again,” Charlie said, reaching for the remote.
We leaned back to peek into the living room from the kitchen archway. Judith and Alan were now full-on singing and dancing like they were auditioning for a Broadway revival.
♪ Robert Fulton, Eli Whitney Robert Fulton, Eli Whitney All aboard for Henry Ford, Henry Ford! ♪
They twirled and snapped their fingers with alarming enthusiasm.
I dropped my head into my hands. “I’ve seen enough.”
Charlie tilted his head. “Maybe your mom was always gay. She just thought your dad was a woman in disguise...”
I groaned. “Please don’t finish that thought.”
Charlie leaned back into the couch and smirked. “Well, the good news is, we’re officially out of this mess.”
I nodded. “And the bad news?”
“We still have front-row seats to it.”
I sighed. “It’s going to be a long week.”
Charlie raised his coffee mug like a toast. “To chaos.”
“To chaos,” I muttered, already bracing for whatever came next.
———
“Charlie, we’re going to be late for rehearsal. What are you doing?” Alan called from the hallway.
“Making margaritas,” Charlie replied casually.
“We’ve got rehearsal at Jake’s school!” Alan reminded him.
“Relax, I have a plan.”
Alan squinted. “You’re bringing liquor to Jake’s school?”
“You betcha. I’m not facing a room full of prepubescent chaos without a little fortification. They’ll have limes in the teacher’s lounge, right?”
“No,” I said flatly, munching my cereal. “And don’t ask about swizzle sticks.”
“There’s no limes, no swizzle sticks, no—oh, great.” Alan held up an envelope. “It’s from Judith’s lawyers.”
Charlie arched an eyebrow. “Really? Good news?”
“No. It’s not good news. Judith filed for divorce,” Alan said, voice dropping.
I scoffed. “Come on, Dad. It’s been months. You’re acting like this is new.”
Alan looked down at the envelope and sighed. “I just thought we were having a good time.”
I shook my head, not wanting to get pulled into his delusions.
———
“I can’t believe she blindsided me like this. So nice and friendly to my face... while her lawyers were scheming behind my back,” Alan vented. “Let me tell you something, Charlie. A woman who does that cannot be trusted.”
I walked ahead down the hallway, wanting no part in that rant.
“Maybe this divorce is a good thing,” Charlie offered. “Could give you both some space to figure things out.”
“No. That would be playing right into her hands,” Alan said stubbornly.
“Okay, Alan. Just don’t make it worse,” Charlie warned.
Alan frowned. “How could I possibly make it worse?” he said, opening the rehearsal room door.
“Let’s find out,” Charlie muttered with a smirk, stepping in behind him.
""Okay, everyone, we're going to have the girls on one side and the boys on the other," Mom announced to the class, trying to maintain some order in the chaos.
"- Sure. Start splitting them up early. That's your answer for everything, isn't it?" Alan said sarcastic
"Excuse me?" Judith exclaimed, her voice sharp with disbelief.
"Would Mrs. Plaintiff kindly meet Mr. Respondent in the hallway?" Alan said, gesturing like a bailiff calling a courtroom to order.
"Watch the kids, we'll be right back," Judith said, already pulling Alan by the arm toward the hallway with the determination of someone dragging a guilty man to trial.
"Okay," Charlie said absentmindedly, but then glanced at the swarm of kids and snapped to attention. "Wait! Hold on a second!"
