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Chapter 55: Jake's Investment Report
🕑 Added 2025-04-21 18:46:52 +0000 UTCIt was early in the morning, and the house was still quiet. I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, the sunlight spilling across the polished wood. In front of me was the latest report from the Harper Management Fund.
It was the end of August. Summer was winding down, and the start of school was just around the corner. And, after months of back-and-forth, my parents were finally finalizing their divorce. Legally separating. Officially done.
Uncle Charlie wandered into the kitchen, still in his pajamas, and headed straight for the coffee maker (as always). "Morning," he mumbled.
"Morning," I replied, still focused on my report.
He peered over my shoulder. "What are you looking at? Some boobs?" he said jokingly, with a lazy grin on his face.
Then, glancing at the numbers on the paper, his eyes widened. "Wow, that's even better than boobs. Are you sure the amount of zeros is correct?"
"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "I have around 16.9 million, you 10.9 million, Gramma 8.9 million, and Dad... 4 million."
Yeah, I thought to myself, from the initial 10.7 million, we now have around 40.7 million. An incredible 280% return in just a few months—all thanks to the put options. (April was 24 million)
I paused for a moment, then added, "That's after fees and some taxes, of course."
Charlie let out a low whistle. Then, with a furrowed brow, he asked, "How come you have much more than me? We started the same, no?"
"That, Uncle Charlie," I said with a smirk, "is the eighth wonder of the world. The power of 2/20—especially the 20% performance fee management."
Since the S&P 500 has been negative this year, any positive return I make stands out—and I get to charge 20% of that as performance. Not a bad setup (for me).
"So we're paying you up?" Charlie asked, surprised.
"Yeah," I said casually. "Like you'd tip a waiter in a nightclub... or a dealer in a casino."
Only in my case, it's millions.
"I understand," Charlie said, nodding slowly, not caring. Then his eyes lit up with a mischievous glint. "But now that I have 10 million, should I buy a boat or a plane?"
I scoffed. "Uncle Charlie, just live like you're living. We don't need those big toys right now. If you want, rent one. In a few years, you might have as many boats as you want."
Charlie thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay, smartass, you're my financial advisor after all."
And speaking of that, we'd fired Uncle Charlie's old accountant months ago and brought in a well-regarded firm. After cutting some unnecessary spending, Uncle Charlie now had a monthly surplus of around 10 to 20 grand. He could spend even more on women and booze—not that I was going to say that to him, though.
Right then, Dad walked in, yawning. "Good morning, everyone," he said, stretching his arms.
He stepped closer and glanced at the paper in front of me. "Holy mother! I didn't know you had that much money!" he exclaimed, eyes wide in surprise.
I scoffed again. "Really? I think Gramma might be the only one I can slightly trust about money."
"With that much money," Dad said, a little sarcastically, "you should be the one paying alimony."
I just side looked at Charlie.
Charlie raised his cup and said to me, "You kill, I hide the body!"
But then I changed my tone and looked at Dad. "But Dad, are you really okay with our arrangement?"
Dad opened his arms a little and then let them fall to his sides. "Yes. I think it's fair!"
"What arrangement?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"They're splitting the portion of the fund that belongs to Dad, half and half," I explained. "I even offered to contribute a portion of mine, but as Mom said—and I quote—'Jake, that is your money. I will not touch a single penny.'"
Charlie shook his head. "I was thinking that Judith was worse than our mother, but I think I was wrong. She just wants to whip your Dad."
Dad glared at Charlie, clearly not amused.
"And the second arrangement involves you, Uncle Charlie," I added, turning his way.
Charlie raised both eyebrows. "Okay..."
"My custody will be flexible—like it is now. I’ll live here and there, with no obligation for specific days. So I’ll be your care too."
Charlie chuckled. "I thought it was something serious. You're always welcome here, Jake," he said with a big smile on his face, giving me a pat on the back.
Dad smiled too. "And same here. I'll continue living here too."
Dad seemed to wait for the same warm response I got. But Uncle Charlie only looked at him, narrowed his eyes, said nothing... and went back to sipping his coffee.
A slightly awkward silence settled over, the kind that made even the hum of the refrigerator sound louder than usual.
Then Berta appeared, stepping into the kitchen. "Morning, boys," she said, giving us all a quick glance
We all responded with a chorus of "Morning."
"So, what's the news?" Berta asked, pouring herself a cup.
"Alan finally got divorced," Charlie said.
Berta looked at Dad with a smirk. "So he's gonna get whipped."
Dad gave her a flat look.
Then Dad sighed and turned to Charlie and me. "We need to go to the lawyer at 10," he said.
I glanced at the clock, then at Dad, and let out a soft sigh. "Do we really have to go?" I asked. "I already have the two agreements I want," I added
