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Chapter 60: Thanksgiving
🕑 Added 2025-04-21 18:53:21 +0000 UTC"Hey, what are you doing?" Dad asked as we stepped into Charlie's room.
"Picking out a shirt," Charlie replied, looking up in front of the mirror.
"That one looks nice," Dad offered, nodding toward a white button-down.
Uncle Charlie glanced at him. "You like it?"
"Yeah."
"Then, no."
I flopped onto Charlie's bed, arms behind my head, listening to them go back and forth.
"Okay... listen," Dad continued, "I was wondering... do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?"
"Alan, I don’t plan that far ahead."
"It's this Thursday," Dad said with a deadpan tone.
Charlie blinked. "No kidding. Didn’t we just get through that whole pumpkin, the costume thing with the kid?"
"Halloween?"
"Yeah," said Uncle Charlie.
"Three weeks ago," I said, incredulous.
Then I suddenly shot up from the bed with a small yelp.
"What?" both Dad and Charlie asked at the same time.
"I just remembered this is Uncle Charlie’s bed," I said, brushing off my clothes like I’d just stepped in something gross.
Charlie glared at me, then turned back to the mirror. "Berta changed the sheets yesterday."
"That one looks good," I said, nodding toward the blue button-down shirt.
Uncle Charlie glanced at me. "You like it?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Then, okay," Charlie replied.
Dad looked at us both, incredulous and offended.
"So, who's the one?" I asked, ignoring Dad's stare.
"Her name is Lisa," Charlie said.
"Lisa-who-used-to-live-here, Lisa?" Dad asked, raising an eyebrow.
"She lived here, she moved out, she lived here, I moved out. At one point, neither one of us lived here. Yeah, that Lisa," Charlie said.
"Wow," Dad replied.
"So, she's gonna take you back again?" Dad added.
"Hey, who said she's the one who broke up with..." Charlie started, then paused. "Yeah, I'm hoping."
"Good luck," Dad and I said in unison.
"Thanks," Charlie nodded.
As Uncle Charlie was heading out of the room, Dad looked over at me and said, "And I didn’t even get to tell him the plans for Thanksgiving."
I just shrugged.
—
That afternoon, while Dad and I were watching TV in the living room, Uncle Charlie burst through the door carrying a massive frozen turkey.
"Change of plans!" he announced proudly.
"We're gonna have a big family dinner right here," Charlie declared.
"And whose big family were you planning on inviting?" Dad asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You know, you, me, Jake, Mom, turkey—just like the good old days," Charlie said while giving the turkey a light slap.
"What good old days?" Dad replied.
"It's just an expression, don't get hung up on it," Charlie waved him off.
"I can help you, Uncle Charlie," I offered. "But you’re the one who has to convince Mom and my grandparents to come here."
Charlie nodded and added "Oh, and Lisa might come."
"Okay, what's going on?" Dad asked, turning off the TV.
"I need to show Lisa that I'm a family guy," Charlie said.
"But you're not," Dad said as a matter of fact
"That's not the point," Charlie replied.
"She's about to go off and marry some jerk... just because he loves her and wants to settle down."
"I get it, you're Satan," Dad said flatly.
"Alan, this is serious. I could lose her forever."
"Wow, and you care?"
"I love her, Alan. She's the only one I ever thought I might eventually wind up with."
"Eventually wind up with," Dad repeated, unimpressed. "I'm touched."
"Yeah, Uncle Charlie, I gotta agree with Dad," I added, pulling a face. "You're gonna need more than 'eventually wind up with' to win her back."
"Look, I really care for Lisa, and she needs to believe I'm capable of changing," Charlie said.
"But the thing is, you're not," Dad replied.
"You don't know that. I might be," Charlie countered. "Who knows what would happen if I actually tried."
“You're really serious about this, huh” said Dad a little impressed
"We'll help," I said, "but I don’t think our family is the most appropriate if the goal is to impress her..."
—
Later that afternoon, I was in the kitchen having a snack when Uncle Charlie was explaining his idea to Berta
"So, here's the plan," he said to Berta, who was already raising an eyebrow. "You're cooking Thanksgiving lunch."
"No way in hell. Are you insane? What's wrong with you?" Berta shot back immediately.
"Come on," Charlie pleaded.
"I don't work holidays, Charlie."
"Please."
"I've got a life, you know."
"Pretty, please."
"My brother is in the Witness Protection Program, and I've been invited to spend Thanksgiving with him at an undisclosed location."
"I'll give you $1,000."
"Done."
Charlie looked over at me with a satisfied grin on his face.
I raised my glass and said, "All hail the money."
—
The next day, Thanksgiving had finally arrived. The doorbell rang, and I got up to answer it.
I opened the door and saw a beautiful blonde woman standing there with a warm smile on her face.
"Hi, you must be Jake," she said cheerfully.
"Yes, yes I am. Jake, Jake Harper," I replied, offering my hand.
"Lisa, Lisa Geller," she said as she took it.
I bent slightly, intending to kiss her hand to be gentlemanly, but I froze mid-motion. "Geller?" I asked, blinking.
"Yeah, any problem?" Lisa asked with a puzzled expression.
"No, I just thought of something," I said quickly, letting go of her hand.
As Lisa walked past me toward Uncle Charlie, I quietly pulled out my phone and dialed Monica.
"Hello?" Monica answered.
"Hey Monica, Jake here. Quick question. Do you have a relative named Lisa Geller?"
"Yeah," Monica replied, sounding a bit confused. "Lisa 'Cassie' Geller, my cousin."
"Like your age, as beautiful as you, but blonde?" I asked.
"Yes... Oh, you little charmer," Monica said, clearly flattered by the comparison.
"You’re not gonna believe it," I said, glancing back toward Lisa and Charlie.
