MassaHJ
patreon
Chapter 119: Hernia Exam
🕑 Added 2025-06-01 14:34:05 +0000 UTCA few days had passed since the party. Laura had already flown back to Canada.
Now it was just me, sitting at the kitchen table with Dad at the Malibu beach house. We were both eating toast and scrambled eggs. Berta was moving around the kitchen.
Dad looked over at me and asked, "Are you okay, son?"
"Yea, just a little sad. Besides the obvious... Laura was a great friend," I replied honestly.
Before we could talk any further, a girl rushed into the kitchen wearing nothing but an oversized shirt. She looked around, slightly flustered.
"Excuse me. Is one of you Alan?" she asked.
Alan looked at me, then at Berta, clearly caught off guard. Slowly, he raised his hand. "I'm Alan," he said.
"Oh, good," the woman said, visibly relieved. "Charlie wants you to come upstairs."
"Why?" Alan asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Well... it’s kind of hard to explain," she said hesitantly.
"Try," Alan replied.
"Oh yeah, try," Berta chimed in with an amused grin.
"He’s kind of... stuck," the woman said.
"In what?" Alan asked.
"In what?" I repeated, already intrigued.
"Not in anything. Just stuck," she clarified awkwardly.
"Would you hurry, please?" she urged.
"Where are you going?" Alan asked, turning to Berta and me as we both started to follow.
"Oh, like I’m gonna miss this?" Berta said, already on the move.
"Yeah, now I’m curious," I added, getting up from my seat.
---
The three of us headed upstairs and entered Charlie’s bedroom. What we saw stopped us cold.
Charlie was on all fours on the bed, completely frozen in place.
"Charlie, are you okay?" Alan said, blinking.
"Do I look okay?" Charlie replied incredulously, still stuck in position.
"Yes, Dad. Unless Uncle Charlie suddenly changed preferences, he’s obviously not okay," I said, trying to keep a straight face.
"That is not funny, Jake," Charlie muttered.
"I beg to differ," Alan added with a smile.
"What happened?" Alan continued.
"I pulled my back," Charlie grumbled.
"I didn’t do anything. I was just lying there and he started screaming," the woman explained.
"I understand," Alan said with a nod.
"I mean, I wasn’t just lying there," she added quickly.
"We got it," I said, cutting her off before she could go further.
"Damn, I wish I had a camera," Berta muttered.
"That’s okay. It’s all on video," the woman said casually, pointing to the camera
I took the camera before Berta could see it
"Alan, you're a chiropractor. Do something," Charlie said through gritted teeth.
"Really? You want my help? Even after you referred to my profession as, what was it... 'urban voodoo'?" Alan asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm sorry. Now help me," Charlie pleaded.
"Okay, okay. We'll see what we can do," Alan said, then waved his hands dramatically while chanting, "Oooh-eee-ahh-malaaa-maaa!"
"Yeah, yeah, okay, very funny, very funny," Charlie said, rolling his eyes.
"Okay, let's see what we've got here," Alan said, getting serious as he moved closer to help.
"Is this tender?" he asked, pressing lightly on Charlie's back.
"A little," Charlie replied.
"On a scale of one to ten?"
"I don't know. Three?"
"Okay, what about this?"
"Four."
"And what about this?" Alan asked, applying pressure again.
Charlie groaned. Alan waited.
"I'm gonna need a number, Charlie."
"No, no, I changed my mind," Charlie snapped. "Leave me alone."
"Oh, don't be a baby."
"Stay away."
"I have to examine you."
"It's okay. I'm better."
"No, you're not," Alan said flatly.
I pulled out my phone and started dialing. "Yes, I need a private ambulance," I said into the receiver. "No, it's not life-threatening. He has some back issues, but nothing serious."
"Jake," Alan said, sounding a bit indignant.
"What?" I asked. "Let’s just get this over with."
---
After a little while, the private ambulance arrived. A male nurse and a female nurse stepped into the room, carrying a stretcher and a medical kit.
Charlie, who had been lying on the bed groaning in pain, suddenly sat up straight the moment he saw how attractive the nurse was.
"Hello, nurse," he said smoothly.
Alan muttered under his breath, "Hallelujah. It's a miracle."
I just shook my head.
---
Cut to the doctor’s office. The three of us—me, Alan, and Charlie—were now sitting in the examination room together. Uncle Charlie was once again lying on the table, groaning.
Alan was mid-rant about something. "Swallow the pharmaceutical companies' propaganda..."
"I'll swallow it, I'll sniff it, I'll insert it rectally. Anything to kill the pain. I'm dying here," Charlie cut in dramatically.
Just then, the door opened.
"Mr. Harper, I'm Dr. Talmadge," a calm, professional voice said.
"Hello, doctor," Charlie greeted her, but the moment he laid eyes on her, he suddenly sat up straight (just like with the nurse), grinning like a teenager. The doctor was beautiful.
"You must be kidding me. Déjà vu? How does his luck even work?" I whispered to Dad, genuinely impressed.
"I wish I knew," Alan muttered.
I stood up and stretched. "Well, now that everything's under control, I'm heading out. Bye, Uncle Charlie."
"Thank you, Jake," Charlie said with a smile—though his attention was already drifting back to the stunning Dr. Talmadge.
---
Later that day, I returned to Malibu after spending some time out with Carly, Freddie, and Sam.
As I walked toward the kitchen, I heard my dad muttering to himself in the living room.
"There's just no justice in this world..." he grumbled under his breath.
"What now?" I asked.
"Your Uncle Charlie got quality time with the doctor," Dad said, using a clear euphemism.
"Humm. Good for him," I murmured, heading into the kitchen.
I walked into the kitchen and spotted Uncle Charlie already sitting at the table with a beer.
"Hey again, Uncle Charlie," I said.
"Hey, kid," he replied.
I squinted at him. "How come you look like you’re in more pain now?"
Charlie let out a sigh.
"To tell you the truth, I already knew the doctor…"
"I got it," I said, before he could continue
"How did you get it? I didn’t tell you everything," he asked.
"You probably screwed with her. Now she screwed you back. And judging by the way you're sitting, it looks like she was trying to scramble some eggs," I replied with a smirk.
Charlie glared at me but said nothing.
