Mishkin Fitzgerald
patreon
God of Neither (a new song)
🕑 Added 2025-09-25 18:27:53 +0000 UTCHello Humans,
[Trigger Warning - holocaust, death, grief, religion, genocide, war]
This month as promised I’m sharing a brand-new song called God of Neither.
It’s a demo mix at the moment, that I’ve done myself, just for Patreon ears, while the full EP dedicated to my grandma, Marcelle, slowly takes shape. Garry will give it a proper polish later, but I wanted you to hear it first as it is.
It was recorded on her 130 year old Blüthner piano, so you can hear some creaks and squeaks. All part of the charm of an antique piano.
The song grew out of the quiet conversations I had with my grandma in the last year of her life. She lived almost 101 years, and during those final months she spoke more than ever about surviving the Holocaust, family stories that were sometimes playful but sometimes unbearably heavy.
I always remember her piercing but kind, blue eyes and the gentle strength behind them. She taught me to swim in her homeland of Greece, and she would tell me how Thessaloniki, once home to a thriving Jewish community, became the “city of ghosts,” because so few returned after the war.
One of my fondest memories is from childhood. Every Christmas morning I’d run straight into her bed, safe in the sheets, put my cold feet on her to warm up, and we’d stay cosy together, and talk until the rest of the house was awake. That memory found its way into the lyrics, along with others.
The lyrics are somewhat scattered, a little like our final conversations, but it makes sense to me and I am happy to have a song that encapsulates some of my time with her.
God of Neither circles around her striking thought that a God who allows such horrors cannot exist, and certainly cannot take sides. She was born into the Jewish religion but became atheist after the holocaust.
The song looks at war and faith from that angle, no matter who claims righteousness, people suffer and die, and the God in this story only watches.
God of Neither
Blue eyes
Lift to meet mine
See a warm smile
Smiling true
Her mind
In the dark light
In the grey skies
Shining through
Father sends his regards
Gone are the days you had to hide
Pray to the God of Neither side
Your voice is strained
A language charred
Safe in the sheets where love is never far
Teach me how to swim deep
As the tide creeps over us
And don’t weep for your city
Salt this memory I can’t know
Heaven sends her brightest star
Gone are the days you had to lie
Shame on the God of Neither side
And I would hold your shaking hand
Are you watching me now among the world of men?
Can you hear me in the place between the shadow and the sun?
Tell them that I’m coming in a century and one
Tell me there’s a God who wouldn’t kill his own son
Tell me that the worst of us has come and now is gone
Where so many beg for life
And we and God choose a side
Mother sends her regards
---
There will be two more songs for her on the EP, each carrying a different thread of her life and our conversations.
Thank you for being the first to hear this. Your support makes writing and recording these songs possible.
If you find anything here relatable, as always, I'd love to hear your comments and thoughts.
Love,
Mishkin
Comments
Mishkin Fitzgerald
thanks Cath xxx
Cath
Wow Mishkin, this is beautiful. What a stunning tribute to an amazing woman xx
Mishkin Fitzgerald
Thanks Halvor x
Halvor
Eerily beautiful, i love it! My grandfather was also jewish and fled the country during the war. Looking back i think i recognise the same depth there that you describe in your grandmother, even though I didn't have that close of a relationship with him. Thank you for this.
