The Snake Charmer
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Whats going on with me? - Long Post Alert!
🕑 Added 2022-08-05 15:28:21 +0000 UTCHi my dearest Patrons!
I want to apologise cause i feel very guilty that i have not been updating here (infact not updating alot on my social media in general as well) and not letting you know whats going on. For those who have followed me over the years will know that i do not share everything, day to day things that i do in my life on social media, i keep many things private and find it generally hard to share everything with everyone.
This post is going to be long, so if you're running late, save this for later, if not read on :)
Mental Health - Past 3 years i have not been feeling a 100% myself. I have been dealing with alot and trying to keep my head up high but it has really been tough. I thought i will "fix it" and "i am strong" etc but the truth is things in my personal life and professional life (both very important to me) have not been going in the right direction, i have been feeling like the things i put my time and heart into building have been losing their foundations and i have not been able to "fix it" or deal with it all by myself that well.
Sometimes in life, when things don't go too well, all of it doesn't go well, when things go well, they all start working out for you. Im kinda waiting for the later :p
For 2 years i tried to deal with my problems myself but only last year did i get myself to seek some help (don't be too worried, we all need some therapy at times), its helped to some extent and to some extent not.
The biggest problem being in this state of mind is, it hits your "creative and driven side" hard. I am actually a go-getter, bold, strong, and fierce person but these days i have to sometimes really look hard and try to bring out this side of me. There have been many days i just did not know what the fuck to do next, what to create next, how to improve etc etc, and just not feel motivated to do ANYTHING and generally im the person sprouting with new ideas (how else would i have thought of learning to play Bagpipes๐ค๐). So when that happens, i just don't feel like posting stuff online, alot of times i wanted to post here but i would think, what do i tell you all? cuz i didn't want to let you guys down, you're all rooting for me and i know it.
OK, honestly, there ARE many days i feel like i wanna kick some ass, create something and i swear those days i put all my energy working and doing stuff which is why besides all the shit, i have 4 videos coming up in the next 3 months (wohoo!!) [im trying to keep all our spirits high here in my sob story๐]
But since last September until like a month back, i was really NOT OK, i wanted to work cuz not working, not posting anything, not posting new videos would make me even more stressed about work my growth etc but because of some other very important changes in my life that im gonna list below, i just did not have the right mindset or the bandwidth to execute things right.
Remember, im NOT a lazy person, i HATE NOT WORKING, NOT CREATING. So when im unable to do this, it frustrates and stresses me even more and this loop just goes on n on.
I have been feeling a bit better past 1 month and so i have picked back my weapons and i continue to fight cuz i want to win, cuz i am a winner! Which is why i am gathering the courage today to share all this with you guys.
MOVING COUNTRY - Yes! I am (currently) temporarily moving from India to the North American belt, CANADA! I have always thought of moving to Canada cuz my brother and alot of my family is there and of course i knew i would be alot closer to many of YOU GUYS!! So this was something that i had been planning for a few years. But last year, this came into action and i have to do things fast. As you can imagine, moving a house or a city itself is a big deal, think about moving to another country! I am in the midst of making that move, so besides all the fuck up thats going on mentally, this, too happened fairly quickly and i had to use alot of my time and energy into planning this move. It requires a lot of research, paperwork, this and that and everything. Which is also why from March until a month back i was so consumed with whatever energy i had left.
I am happy and looking forward to this decision BUUTTTTTT, i have spent almost all my life here, leaving my parents, my friends, all my work contacts, everything i know here and to move to an entirely new culture, new city, build new contacts, make new friends and all the anxiety and anticipation that comes with this uncertainty certainly does something to a person already dealing with mental health. So that again is something i have been trying to handle. All these big changes that are coming my way. I hope you are still with me? hope you are able to somewhat understand how all this piles up and stirs up?
What i plan to do in Canada? - I am planning to pursue a program there about the music industry and i am also going to spend this 1 year seeing how i like to live in this place. If all goes well, i might move there permanently too. So you see, there is that added pressure too of making sure im doing the right thing with my life and investing my time in the right place etc..
However, i know Canada is a lovely place, i am also looking forward to this change. I am craving change and excited to go there and start a new life, explore some beautiful places to shoot alot more videos for you all, understand the culture and make some awesome new music. Sometimes breaking the monotony in your life brings out a new person in you and that is what i am hoping for, or just to get back to my 100% self, thats good enough for me.
The real suspense in all this is, my Visa for Canada has still not arrived lol, so im still in the hanging about my travel but i have booked my tickets. So fingers crossed. ๐ค
What's happening now?
Ok, first things first the new Goddesses of Bagpipes video comes out next Friday on 12th August. I have edited that video myself, so hope you all like it :) and this collab has been due for sooooo long that i am happy all of us were finally able to film our parts and get everything going.
Second - MY NEW MUSIC!! yessss, finally i have made a new Celtic-Punjabi song and i feel really good about it. Me and Karan (Bloodywood) have been slowly but steadily working on this song since early May, whenever we were able to take out time and sit together on it. The song is now complete but needs to be mixed and mastered.
I am shooting for this new video on 8th and 9th ๐ and i am happy that i have planned and prepared for everything myself. This time, im not gonna be directing it all by myself (i dont want that added stress, and i want to enjoy my shoot) so i have hired the right people for it. Just hope that it is sunny that day, cuz we need alot of sunlight for this shoot :)
Third - A collaboration video with a popular female instrument player is on its way too. The photo in this post, is a selfie i took from that shoot :) . I don't want to reveal more, as me and her still need to finalise the release date, announcement etc.
Fourth - An interesting collaboration with an Indonesian group is underway, one of my Patron here Ainsley is the main person behind this collab as he brought us all together. The song is almost ready and we all just need to shoot our parts in our countries and this video should be out by October early :)
So yess, i was able to accomplish a few things so far this year besides the fuck up, and my own struggles and fight. Maybe for the first time, after writing this post i am realising that i haven't really wasted as much time as i thought and kept telling and hammering myself with after all๐ง.
Anyway, some of you have reduced your pledges and some have deleted their pledges in the past couple of months and i totally understand if it was because you did not hear from me. I don't really feel bad about the money that goes but what i actually feel bad is the people that go and the feeling about letting you guys down. I am truly sorry, this is just not the best time of my life, every day is different in extremes and i can tell you that im fighting it and i will from now just focus on doing doing doing and not worry too much about the result of it all that's something i have decided to try. Good or bad, whatever it is, i will keep you all in loop.
I hope some of you understood what i tried to share, im not great at sharing things but im really hoping i communicated this well to you guys.
Love you guys for standing with me all this while
Archy โค๏ธ
