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Book 4 Bonus - Novel Graphics
🕑 Added 2025-11-28 15:11:48 +0000 UTCFrom: Pradeep
To: Max
I have created some interesting graphs but they are not in the format you requested. Spectrum says you were joking but I am not sure. Please advise.
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From: Max
To: Pradeep
I don't remember insisting on any particular format.
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From: Pradeep
To: Max
You wrote that you didn't want 'any weird statistics shit - our data needs to be so simple that even Jackie Reaper can understand it'. You provided this as an example of best practice:
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From: Max
To: Pradeep
I think that was the night I ordered the strong beer in Poland even though the locals advised me not to. While it's objectively the best graph ever drawn, we can't maintain such levels of craftsmanship. Why don't you send me the graphs you created?
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From: Pradeep
To: Max
This is the first one. The progression of metrics for our top trainers since we installed DOVE at Chester.
All very satisfying for the coaching team, I'm sure. But the centre back data doesn't look as good.
Superb progression from Peter. Zach greatly benefitting from training with the USMNT. But Christian and Fitzroy have flatlined. This is deeply troubling.
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From: Max
To: Pradeep
Not troubling, bro! It shows DOVE is working great. This will be incredibly useful for squad building in the future.
By the way, the format's fine. Good job on everything.
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From: Vikki
To: Max
Hi, boss! Did you have time to look at the sketch of my set piece idea? I'd like to train it in the next couple of weeks.
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From: Max
To: Vikki
I did, and I even sketched a more streamlined idea of the move but I forgot to send it to you. Here's the two versions side-by-side. Let me know what you think.
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From: Vikki
To: Max
It's definitely more streamlined! I understand what you are saying. I should bin the idea.
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From: Max
To: Vikki
No, that's not what I meant, lol. I'm just being silly. I like your concept. It's a lot of work for something that we can probably only use once but it will put oppo set piece coaches under more strain in the days when they're preparing for us. And it will be interesting to see how well the lads get the timings down.
If they can do this 'clockwork' kind of move, I've got a variant I'd like to experiment with.
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From: Dylan
To: Max
Max, have you seen the latest promotion odds? I've got a mate who wants to put a fiver on Chester going up. What should I say to him?
From: Max
To: Dylan
Tell him to give that fiver to his local food bank instead of burning his cash. Ask if he needs to attend a lecture about food insecurity. Maybe he should meet some hungry kids.
Yeah, that's better. Ask your mate if he wants to go into a room full of hungry kids and explain why he gave his money to a billionaire instead of them.
"I'm a degenerate with no impulse control, lads, and I don't give a shit about any of you lot. I live a life entirely made of shortcuts and I'm one step away from sitting right by your side. When the next food delivery comes I'll knock you out of the way to grab a can of beans because that's the kind of person I am."
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From: Dylan
To: Max
No, right, yeah, totally. Got it. It's just that it's 20 to 1. Fiver wins a hundred quid!
No, you're right, though. Hungry kids and that. Totally. It doesn't matter that the odds are so tempting. Doesn't matter in the slightest.
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From: Max
To: Brooke
Went out for fondue last night with Sandra, Henri, and partners and for some reason I was awake all night thinking up hundreds of amazing ideas!
You know what we need? Let's say it together on the count of three.
One.
Two...
That's right - our very own comic strip!
We'll put it in the national newspapers, three panels at a time, then at the end of an in-universe season we'll collate them into a proper graphic novel. Probably we'll get some artist who lost their job to AI for the final version, but here's a mock-up I've made. It's great, isn't it? It's great. I know you're gonna say it's great.
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From: Brooke
To: Max
Can you hear the furious clacking of a computer keyboard? That's me firing out emails because this project HAS to happen. If I don't mention it in the next few days, don't worry. It's NOT me waiting for you to forget you sent this. I'm working VERY hard to make this happen. I pwomise.
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From: Spectrum
To: Max
Hi, gaffer.
I was thinking it might be good salesmanship to output DOVE's player data in the format of olden-days Soccer Supremo. All the directors of football to whom we will pitch our services played the old version, didn't they?
Here's what it would look like for Wibbers, Pascal, and I've made one of the old-fashioned player comparison pages, too. I think this is a winner. What's your take?
From: Max
To: Spectrum
It has potential!
Talking of potential, be careful about including PA on any future mails you send. Imagine I'm trying to sell Andrew Harrison and my counterpart got hold of Andrew's PA. It would be a disaster, right? If I had my way, I would never reveal Andrew's PA, even long after the joke stopped being funny. I would take that number with me to my grave and I wouldn't regret it for a single second.
But yeah, for the right price we could offer some of this data for sale. It's useful enough that I could imagine clubs paying for it. My worry is that it's TOO useful.
A good problem to have, right? Great job!
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Thanks for your support!
Special mega thanks to nid for the DOVE data. nid's the guy I know who is most comfortable dropping the word 'binomial' into a discord chat. If you want to quiz him on regressions and check this data complies with modern hypergeometric theory, join us! https://discord.gg/DMxfaVYSA
Comments
Peculiar Oranges
Max the Chester. Yes pls. Also I cannot remember the last time scrolling thru emails has been so entertaining.
Thomas
I am both thrilled that we got this, and sad that today is not the start of book 5.
HN
I honestly laughed out loud at Brooke's "pwomise". Great snippets. :)
Tyler Jansen
That is objectively the best graph ever drawn. #facts
Taylor Harris
You’re a gift to world Ted. Kickoff to Christmax.
