Jackaloo
patreon
Life Update
🕑 Added 2022-11-02 01:33:31 +0000 UTCHi everyone! This is just to take a moment and give you some context regarding the last couple months.
This isn't easy for me to write, as I am a very private person. I kept going back and forth weather I wanted to share anything about my life, and I won't go into details further than what I'll write on here.
As many of you know, I've been balancing a day job, Patreon, commissions, and other furry projects for several years now.
I wasn't fully aware of how fragile my juggling act was til I had some major events stack one after the other, toppling the whole precarious pile over. I was already on the edge of burnout, but at least I had my main support system. Unfortunately, recently I lost two major players in my life; a serious partner from betrayal, and a best friend from a career change (we won't be able to contact each other for a few months after they leave for their new line of work). Two people I had around every day were suddenly gone, but I couldn't afford to react to it, as I am now alone and solely responsible for all bills and upkeep. There were also several other things to deal with so I pushed myself as much as I could.
That's one thing about life though; when you stop paying your wellness bills, your brain comes in to repo the whole system. 
Working on the comics and other art became a shocking struggle. Writing and drawing about concepts like love and sex were making my physically sick. I wasn't processing my pain stemming from recent events. Eventually it led to what I can only describe as a total blackout in my metaphorical power grid.
I stopped functioning. I stopped taking care of myself, only skimming by doing the bare minimum for my day job. As much as I wanted to control myself, I couldn't. It's like I was hollow and every self-command for action echoed into empty space.
My memory is spotty over the last few months. Days blended and warped together. It's only fairly recently that I began to wake up and become more present again.
Gradually, I've been trying to establish a new routine from the ground up. I am finally arranging my living space to cater to myself and not just stare at the shadows of loved ones that used to occupy this space. I'm using some savings to be in therapy. Day by day, I'm trying to pick myself back up and figure out a better work/care balance that won't do this to me again.
For the first time in a while, I'm feeling a bit more hopeful for the future. I still have a lot of stories to tell, things to draw, and life to live. Thank you so much for sticking through my spotty updates, inconsistent schedule, and needs for time and space. I want to make your stay here worthwhile and I promise to bring my best efforts with each new day.
Comments
Dan
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GreenDreamer
I can't pretend to know what you're going through, so the heartbreak of being betrayed and the natural, but understandably bittersweet feeling of a big life change can be crippling. One thing I CAN tell you from experience though...is that it's depressing being depressed. You end up stuck in this circle, a neverending loop that doesn't let go. It fucking sucks. And yeah, there's another thing I've felt the same way about; reading or watching everyone around you(either real or in the stories surrounding us) about EVERYONE finding perfect love and feeling for a soul mate; it makes you feel more alone than ever. I'm so glad you took the time to take stock and let people in, even though you're hurting now. It's not a be-all solution, but simply venting and letting it out works surprisingly well. I'm just glad you're taking those steps out into the sun again. <3
Bullstorm
Jack, it's so sad that you went through this... NOBODY deserves to go through betrayal... I can definitely relate to it and the feelings of hopelessness... I'm sending BIG good vibes your way... I personally care about your health and wellbeing! I don't know if it makes any difference, but you are the biggest reason that brought me to the fandom... When I was down and depressed with life problems, I saw your comics and they ressonated a LOT with me. You need to take care of your mental health the way you helped many others here! I admire your person a lot and you deserve all the love! Know that EVERYONE here is cheering for you! Your responsability with your fanbase is less about working your a** off, and more about taking care of yourself, so you can grace us with your wholesomeness! WE LOVE YOU! TAKE CARE!ππππππππππππ
a1e20
Go. Take. A. Break. NOW!! We love you enough to wait for you to return. Now go!
Nelson Cabrera
Take your time, Jack. We can wait much longer. We only want you to be safe and healthy, take it easy. Focus on resting well and relax
Zac
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sunkawakan
As my mother used to say: 'Life is what happens when you are making other plans.' All the complications must really suck for you, but, at least for me, I would far rather you healthy and cognizant than messed up. Your art has brought a lot of happiness into my life. The few dollars I spend for it is inconsequential. Even if you need time off, take it. Keep taking my money. It is the least I can do. I tend to think of Patreon like an old-school patronage system. Part of being a patron is sometimes just doing what you can for the welfare of the artist. As far as I am concerned, TAKE THE DAMN MONEY AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Oh, and arrange for a hit on the one that hurt you emotionally.
Afadi Chionesu
Wow! That is deep, Jack. π§π’ Youβre having it worse than I am. Well, mostly work-wise. As a creative person, I end up swamped with work due to my day job, and I never have the time to take care of myself or find time to work on my projects. π£ Also, itβs great to hear that youβre working on a new goal to take care of yourself. π Take a break from something that puts pressure on you and focus on what you enjoy the most. π
Raace
I completely agree with what heβs saying. Life throws you curveballs at times and sometimes you take the hit and have to keep on going. Iβll always still be a Patreon because I love your work so much. So take time getting yourself back on track, because your individual health matters most.
Cameron Bear
That was a very moving and relatable story. Thank you for being transparent about what's going on in your life. I hope things continue to improve for you, and that you can make more time for yourself and your needs. In the meantime, you can still count on me contributing to your Patreon. Patrons can't care about the art and then disregard the artist. You do your best work when you're well, after all!
Jetski
Jack you have a ton of fans of love your artwork. And I think I speak for all of us when I say, we'd but totally okay with you taking as much time as you need to get yourself to a spot where you feel comfortable. We'll support you then, just as we have now. Mental Healthcare is Healthcare and you need to take care of yourself in whatever way that works best. Prayers for you and your health.
I know Iβm part of the choir here, but I hope things keep on getting better for you. β€οΈ
Something Cat
Make sure to take care of yourself hun. For what little its worth, your health is more important than this. If you need to take a few months off, do so. Its better to as I say 'take the one day than the week' a smaller analogy but it works the same.
