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Welcome to Pig-Burger

🕑 Added 2021-07-23 15:54:49 +0000 UTC

Comments

Mr. O

Working at a fast food place can be killer on the figure....but that's just a me thing >.<

Texbot

I enjoy the little details in pictures like these. Such as the Transformistress Credit Card and the Driver's License number is mostly just 69 repeating. Also, does Leisurely Lane cross Easy Street, Bountiful Boulevard, or Rest-Easy Road at any point? Just trying to get a sense of the city structure

E

Stay safe Mira.

The Transformistress

She's pretty laid back, all things considered. She certainly took being turned into a cat in stride. The Magi are more like a rotten tooth than anything remotely beneficial. Any good they do is often in spite of upper management. The world of magic was doing just fine long before they arrived, and it'll be just fine after. It's better to have them removed, trust me. That's all for now. The longer I stay the more likely they'll find me, and I like having opposable thumbs. See you next time!

E

So what's your master like? Ok so what if I was to play Devil's Advocate and say yes the Magi are bad but removing things will only make the situation worse? That removing them will only create a power vacuum that will be feels by something just as bad or worse than them?

The Transformistress

Witches can understand her, but she just sounds like a normal cat to other people. It makes me look absolutely CRAZY talking to her in public... That's a pretty good assessment! Although, M.O.M's BAD, but Amazon's still more evil than M.O.M, to be honest...

E

Okay that makes sense. So does your Masters still communicate with you? Or can she just speak in meows? So M.O.M it just a more evil version of Amazon? Or in light of recent news Activision?

The Transformistress

💢I'M WORKING ON IT, OKAY?!! 💢 Sorry, sorry. What I mean is, most magic takes the form of different art mediums because it's the easiest way to visualize CHANGE. Now curses and dark magic are a lot like tangled knots. At least, that's how I visualize them. To undo a curse, you need to untie the knot, and that can take forever. So it's going to take me a while to turn my master back into a human. In the meantime, I've gotta do her job for her. Also, M.O.M is a big fan of unpaid internships. And cutting costs. And crunch time. But if you can handle that (and the hilarious amounts of magical and technological workplace accidents and transformation experiments), a go-getter like you could make upper management in no time! 💰💰💰

E

Tell us how you really feel Mira?(sarcasm)

E

So why don't you just turn your master back into a human? Also just asking for a friend how much does M.O.M pay?

The Transformistress

(Also for the record they do SuCh a gOoD jOb that I'm constantly CLEANING UP THEIR MESSES!!!)

The Transformistress

That's the funny thing. M.O.M IS the Magi of Merlin. Like us witches, they've rebranded over the years. Now they're disguising themselves as a generic mega-corporation. Very fitting, in my opinion. Also, in her defense, it took the Magi 921 YEARS to catch my master. They've been chasing her since the day they were founded, and she's been here for almost twice that. She's good at what she does when she has the hands to do it. They just got lucky. Just because they're old and organized, doesn't make them right. But I'll have a more detailed report on them at a later date...

E

I'm not going to fall for that obvious trap. What kind of relationship do you have with M.O.M?

The Transformistress

You would fit in PERFECTLY at M.O.M, then. They're always hiring new test subjects for R&D. Just try not to get turned into a cat.

E

I prefer the term opportunist. In all honesty a dump truck full of cash in exchange for betrayal is going to be a hard thing to counter. Also the Magi are or more well-established organization than you and they have way more resources to pull from. And they'll probably have a dedicated section of highly trained infiltrators given how long and successfully they've put down dissenting witches. Probably how they took down the last transformistress.

The Transformistress

Lol, traitor 😂

E

I mean if the Magi offer a lot of money to turn you in that's a deal I might have to take. Unless you offer more money.

The Transformistress

Just for the record, none of y'all better be double agents, I'll cry 😭

E

Just something to keep in the back of your mind.

The Transformistress

Err, I'm gonna have to cross those bridges when I get to them. I'm kinda new to all this, too. This is my first year on the job, after all, haha.

E

Given how secretive and powerful the Magi seem how will you avoid infiltration by them? Also what do you think the Magi should be replaced with? Because I do think there needs to be some sort of regulatory body to prevent witches with ill intent from wreaking havoc on the world. As Iraq showed the chaos that comes after a dictator is deposed can be even worse then the dictator.

The Transformistress

If your boobs are big enough, yeah, you float in water ;P When I have a proper Coven, like my master had back in her heyday, maybe we can start fighting back. But for now, it's best for me to keep a low profile and try to pick my battles with them.

E

But you don't float in water or anything crazy like that?

The Transformistress

As for old superstitions, turns out brooms are WAY harder to fly on than they make it look. It takes years, if not decades to master. That's why I still need to buy plane tickets for travel. It suuuuccks.

E

In the future do you plan doing something about the Magi?

The Transformistress

Ah, that would be the Magi of Merlin. They don't like witches like me running around doing magic and thinking for ourselves. They say they're all about law and order, but really they just don't like change. And they're also huge hypocrites because they have no problem whatsoever turning people into CATS and other things in order to preserve the "status quo." As for me, I don't have much of a full organization yet, per se. Right now I'm just documenting and cataloguing triggers and other magic users I find in my travels because my master somehow didn't BOTHER to do that before losing the thumbs necessary for holding a pen! So inefficient. In the meantime, I'm trying to put together my own Coven and educate everyone who joins as much as I can about these Triggers and how to avoid them. Or how to very specifically NOT avoid them ;)

E

Couple of follow-up questions. So who turned the last Transformistress into a cat? Also what organization are you Head Misstress of Transformations for? Also how many the old superstitions about witches are true? I always assumed that the black cat thing was just one of the many silly superstitions that humans have a way of creating.

The Transformistress

Err, I kinda stumbled onto the job. I walked in on the last Transformistress kinda sorta... getting turned into a cat... Apparently that's a recurring thing that happens to witches that I have to be on the lookout for? (You ever wonder why there are so many black cats around witches? That. That's why...) But I got a cool job and a free transition out of it, so hey, silver linings.

The Transformistress

That and I'm going to give them a VERY STERN TALKING TO. ◉‿◉

E

So what will you do once you catch the body catcher? Just deactivate their powers?

The Transformistress

Thanks! I really like to show some kind of in universe picture of the before and after. IDs are really tough though, because I can be a little anal about making certain things look accurate, so at some point I'm basically just one step away from just forging a fake ID, lol.