David Niemitz
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Guild Mage 103
🕑 Added 2025-02-15 13:59:07 +0000 UTCChapter 103: Tidings
A pounding on the door spiked through Liv’s head like an iron chisel. Her mouth tasted foul, like a mountain squirrel had crawled inside while she slept, died, and then rotted for a week. She rolled over onto her side, pulling the blankets over her head, to make the pounding go away, and found herself up against another person.
Another naked person.
In her bed.
Dim memories of the night before blossomed slowly, in fragments: laughing and drinking over dinner with Cade, stumbling back to High Hall under a starry sky, a goodnight kiss at the door, and then the spontaneous decision to pull him inside. A succession of images, feelings, tastes and sounds bubbled to the surface, all of them wrapped in the fuzzy, warm blanket of last evening’s wine. She could feel her cheeks and the tips of her ears burning in embarrassment, hot as coals. Whatever Liv had been expecting, it hadn’t quite been - that.
“I’m sorry, m’lady,” Thora said, over the sound of the door hinges opening, “but there’s someone here to see you, and he won’t - oh!”
“Livara, you need to wake up,” a man’s voice came, along with the sound of boots on the floor and oh trinity, there were people coming into the room.
Liv sat up, clutching the blankets to her chest, to see Thora, Wren, and of all people Inkeris ka Ilmari crowding through the doorway into her bedchamber. They were uniformly wide-eyed, presumably at the sight of the snoring lump of man in the bed at her side, though their expressions ranged from the lady’s maid’s shock and horror, to Wren’s amused cackle, and finally to Keri, who looked nothing but serious. Dead serious, and positively grave.
“Out,” Liv croaked. “All of you, out.” Her stomach turned at the sudden motion of sitting, and she realized that she was going to throw up. “Chamber pot,” she groaned.
“What?” Thora said. She’d put a hand up in front of her eyes, as if she didn’t want to look at the bed.
“Chamber pot!” Liv shouted. She half fell, half rolled out of bed, too concerned with the contents up her stomach coming up to care that she was entirely naked at the moment. Half the blankets came with her in a knot, causing a grumpy groan from the other side of the bed, but it was Wren who got there in time with the chamber pot.
They were old fashioned, now, and mostly unnecessary with the enchanted pipes and garderobes in High Hall, but whoever decided these things at the college had determined to keep one in each student’s room, tucked under the bed, perhaps for just such an emergency as this. Liv threw up the half-digested remains of dinner along with a greater portion of two bottles of wine than she evidently should have had, and Wren held her hair back out of her face while she heaved and coughed and spit. Somewhere during the process, the room emptied out, leaving them alone.
“This is so embarrassing,” Liv complained, once she’d had a moment to catch her breath.
“Happens to all of us sooner or later,” Wren said, bringing a cup of water over. Just water, Liv found, with not even a trace of wine in it.
“Is this even safe?” Liv asked.
“It comes out of the tap in the bath chamber,” Wren said. “From the cisterns on the roof. Shouldn’t have anything but rainwater in it. Better if we boiled it, probably, but I don’t think you need more wine right now. Wash your mouth out, at least, and you’ll feel better.”
Liv accepted the cup, swirled the water around her mouth, then spit it into the chamber pot. “I think I made a big mistake,” she said.
“You wouldn’t be the first to do that, either,” Wren told her. “Anything left in there, or can you stand up? We should get you dressed before things get any worse out there.”
Finally able to focus on something other than the roiling of her stomach, Liv could hear raised men’s voices out in the sitting room, and more besides, a rising cacophony that boded only trouble. She lurched to her feet, swayed, and let Wren help her into a shift and skirt. Anything more, Liv decided, could wait until after she’d had a chance to get under that glorious hot water in the bath chamber.
When Liv pushed open the door to the sitting room, she found Sidonie and Edith seated on one of the cushioned couches, while Keri and Cade faced each other over the low tea table at the center of the room.
“ - she’s going to be my wife, I have a right to know why you’re here,” Cade was insisting, though from Keri’s flat expression, it didn’t look to Liv like he had a chance of getting what he wanted.
“Neither of you should even be here,” Sidonie scolded them both.
“I think that particular ship has sailed,” Edith remarked, raking her eyes over Cade, who’d managed to pull on a pair of breeches and a linen shirt. The rest of his clothing was piled on the floor, including his boots and belt.
“Will all of you just be silent for a moment!” Liv exclaimed, putting one hand to her throbbing temple. “Too. Loud.”
“Had a bit much to drink last night, did we?” Edith nearly taunted her. “I suppose that explains what you were thinking, at least, if not Lord Talbot.”
“I suspect we can all guess what he was thinking,” Wren remarked, peeling off from Liv’s side to find a place against the wall.
“Livara,” Keri said. “I have a message from your father. It is urgent, and I suspect you are going to want to hear it alone.”
His words and tone dropped into Liv’s already sick stomach like a ball of ice. Something was wrong, and she immediately began trying to guess what it was. Was it Gretta, perhaps? The woman was getting quite old. But why would Keri be the one her father sent - wouldn’t he have simply come himself? Or wouldn’t Lady Julianne have been the one to send a messenger? Had there been another attack in the north?
“And as her betrothed, I have every right to be in the room,” Cade broke in.
“You’re not,” Liv said, before she could stop herself, and the entire room went quiet.
“What?” Cade said.
“I agreed you could court me,” Liv said. “I never agreed I would wed you.”
“But you - we -” Cade gestured helplessly at the door behind Liv, and the bedchamber beyond that.
“We’re supposed to have a few years here to get to know each other,” Liv said. “And then make a decision.”
“That’s getting to know each other now, is it?” Edith crowed.
“Six years of courting,” Cade said. “Of writing letters, and - isn’t that enough time to know? I’ve put off everyone else who asked, while I waited for you.”
Liv set her jaw. “I’m not having this conversation right now,” she said, firmly. “I will hear what Inkeris has to say, but not alone. Wren is my bodyguard here, Keri. She can hear whatever it is you have to say.” With that, she turned and marched back into her bed chamber, with only a little bit of swaying.
“You heard her,” Wren said. “Everyone else can wait outside. And that means out on the landing, lover-boy.”
Liv considered sitting on the bed, and then wrinkled her nose. Instead, she took one of the chairs in the room, and settled into that. Thora scurried in, snatched up the reeking chamber pot, and absconded with it before Wren closed the door behind herself and Keri.
“What happened?” Liv asked.
“I’ve just come from Kelum Kedim,” Keri began, and Liv translated it in her head as ‘Hall of Ancestors.’ Not any place she’d ever been, but she thought she recalled her grandfather mentioning it once or twice. “The elders had gathered there to discuss the information you obtained from your captive,” Keri continued, and Liv very deliberately did not look at Wren. If he’d known who she was, he would have already said something, Liv reasoned. And based on her father’s reaction, it would only cause another argument to bring it up now.
“I’m going to assume you mean the elders of more than one house,” Liv pressed. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know what Kelum Kedim is.”
“Yes, you’ve been raised among humans,” Keri realized. “It is the place where our people made peace after the war. When the houses that joined the rebellion against the Vædim, and the ones who remained loyal and fought for the old gods, agreed to set aside the conflict and become one people again. It is a sacred place, where no tools of war are permitted, under the terms of the ancient truce.”
“It sounds like a tempting target,” Wren remarked.
Keri’s mouth moved as if he was chewing on a particularly sour fruit, and then he managed to answer. “It seems you are not the only one to feel that way,” he said. “House Iravata launched an ambush on the elders. They brought a wyrm, as well as a great many archers, concealed by magic. They killed or wounded a great many people, Liv. I had to leave before we were even certain how many of the wounded would survive.”
“Your son?” Liv asked, remembering her vision of the blonde boy rushing into Keri’s arms. “Is he safe?”
“Rei is fine,” Keri told her. “But your grandfather is not, Livara.”
Sound faded, replaced by only the thump of Liv’s heart and a kind of buzzing in her ears. She could see Keri’s mouth moving, but his words didn’t make it through, somehow. Auris Ka Syvä was ancient - he remembered the war against the old gods, and he’d survived for over a thousand years since.
“What happened to him?” Liv managed to get out.
“He took an arrow,” Keri said. “Given the proclivities of House Iravata, I suspect it would have been dipped in wyrm venom. He also pushed himself to use a level of magic that was, in all honesty, breathtaking. Your father and your grandmother are taking him home to Kelthelis, and your father asked me to come and bring you to them.”
“Of course.” Liv stood up, grabbed her wand from where she’d left it on the bedside table, and then stopped. “I need to clean up,” she said. “I need - Wren, could you see that someone’s sent to have Steria saddled? And I need Thora in the bath-chamber, now. I need winter clothes and my armor. Blood and shadows, you need winter clothing too, don’t you?”
“I think it best if I remain here,” Wren said. “I’m sure Master Inkeris here can see you to your parents’ home safely, and I’ll keep an eye on things here for you.”
Liv groaned. “The mercenaries. I won’t forget about them this time - I need to talk to Master Jurian before we leave, about what happened yesterday.”
“I will remain outside on the landing while you prepare yourself,” Keri said, and opened the door to slip out into the sitting room.
☙
What followed was something of a desperate scramble to do entirely too many things at once. Thora helped Liv scrub herself clean and wash her hair, and then to dress as quickly as she could in warm wool stockings and a double set of winter skirts. Over that went the enchanted armor, the belt with her sheathed wand, and the set of bracelet and rings with the chains running between them, on Liv’s left hand. The pearl she slipped into her purse.
“I want you to stay here with Wren,” Liv told her maid, when they were finished. “We always have to fight our way from the waystone at the tomb out onto the open ice. I’m not worried about Keri, but you aren’t a warrior, Thora.”
“Don’t worry about me,” her maid said. “I’ll stay right here and get your things sorted. This room’s something of a wreck.” She paused. “You know there’s going to be a lot of gossip when you get back, don’t you?”
“I haven’t done anything that Matthew and Triss didn’t do,” Liv shot back.
“Lord Matthew and Lady Beatrice were going to be wed,” Thora pointed out.
“I’ll deal with it when I come back,” Liv decided. “This is more important.” With that, she opened the door and stepped out into the sitting room. To her relief, it was empty, though both Keri and Cade were waiting on the landing, along with a knot of girls at the couches on the far side of the staircase who were very deliberately pretending to not watch or listen. Liv counted not only Edith, but Florence and Helewise as well, and they seemed to have invited a few of their friends from the other dormitory up.
“If you’re leaving, I should go with you,” Cade said. “Just give me a moment to go and get my travelling things.”
“No, stay here,” Liv said. She couldn’t explain it, but the thought of bringing Cade north just filled her with a sense of wrongness. “We’ll talk when I get back.”
“But -”
“When I get back,” Liv repeated. “You have a horse at the stables, Keri?”
He nodded, and stepped up to walk by her side as she headed for the stairs. “I do. I left my spear there, as well, so that I wouldn’t frighten anyone.” Together, they hurried down the stairs, out through the foyer, and into the courtyard at the center of the campus, just in time to meet Wren leading Professor Jurian over.
“What’s all this about, then?” her master asked. “Today is supposed to be for rest and recovery, Apprentice.”
“It’s my grandfather,” Liv said, the words bringing back a bit of the sick feeling in her stomach. “I need to go north, my father asked Keri to come and get me. But I need to talk to you before I go. Can you walk with us down to the stables?”
Jurian sighed, but fell in beside them. “Students are not technically supposed to leave campus without permission or supervision. I’ll clear it with the archmagus. What is it you need to tell me?”
“Those mercenaries yesterday,” Liv asked. “Did Venetia submit her report?”
“She said they were idiots who’d gotten in over their heads, and lost at least one man before your team rescued them,” Jurian told her.
Liv shook her head. “They were looking for something at the reef,” she said. “I marked the spot by slashing a sign into the coral, but I didn’t have time to see what was there.” She glanced at Jurian’s face to see that he’d narrowed his eyes.
“They won’t be able to get back there until the next king tide,” the professor reasoned. “That gives us time to do a bit of research. How long until you return?”
“I don’t know,” Liv admitted. “It depends -’
“Of course.” Jurian stopped, and placed a hand on Liv’s shoulder, drawing her to a halt, as well. “You must see to your family. I know we don’t have that sort of relationship, but - just know there are people here who care about you, Liv. Whatever happens, you don’t need to handle it alone. Now, you must get to the waystone, I imagine, and I need to track down the archmagus and tell him what you’ve told me. Safe travels, and don’t worry about what happens here while you’re gone. I’ll see to it.”
“Thank you,” Liv said. On impulse, she leaned in and hugged the professor, then turned and hurried back down the path to the stables.
“Don’t get yourself killed,” Wren called after her, and Liv half turned to give the huntress a wave.
The stable boys must have indeed gotten word they were coming, and Liv made a note to thank Wren and Thora again once she was back. Steria had been saddled and led out of her stall, along with another northern horse Liv guessed belonged to Keri. He gave her a boost up into the saddle, and they turned their horses down the road into Coral Bay, and from there west down to the shore.
The townspeople had only half disassembled the wooden barricades and aid stations from the king tide, but the long expanse of sandbars and mud flats had been replaced by a gentle bay of swells and breakers. The white waystone at the end of the path was no longer entirely exposed, but covered in a few fingers of warm, clear water that splashed around the horses hooves as they walked out.
“What are you all doing here?” Liv asked.
The waystone was not empty. Arjun was there, seated on the saddle behind Rosamund, who was riding a beautiful bay southern horse. Tephania and Sidonie were there, as well, each mounted on a mare of their own.
“You didn’t think we’d let you go by yourself, did you?” Rosamund told her, with a grin.
Liv shot a glare at Sidonie, who hunched her shoulders for a moment before straightening in her saddle. “Yes, I told them,” she admitted.
“It isn’t like any of the waystones in Lucania,” Liv warned them. “We’ll be coming out immediately into a fight, right in the shoals of a rift. And it will be colder than anywhere you’ve ever been before.”
“We wore cloaks,” Tephania said. Liv bit her lip; the cloaks were not nearly enough, she knew.
“You may need a healer,” Arjun said. “And you know what the professors say about going into rifts. You want a full team, at least. Not only two.”
It was odd. The thought of bringing Cade north had made Liv profoundly uncomfortable in a way that she couldn’t put words to - perhaps because he’d demanded to go, as if it was his right. But her friends being here, just waiting for her, as if of course they wouldn’t let her go alone - that felt different. It felt warm, somehow. Comforting.
“Alright,” Liv said, and slid down out of her saddle. She walked over to the Vædic sigil that marked the Tomb of Celris. There, she knelt down, touched the stone with her palm, and called her mana forth.
“I’m coming, grandfather,” Liv whispered. The waystone began to shine.
Comments
lenkite
Why is she taking Tephania - who doesn't know any of combat or magic ? A Healer is valuable and Sidonie has magical smarts and is experienced. But Teph ? Only by [God Tier Plot Armor] she won't be killed.
lenkite
Well, she is going to find the next 2/3 years utterly miserable as she will be subject of shame and ridicule. NOTE: This is not modern earth. You don't have sex as nobility unless you are betrothed and will be marrying and if you do you keep it completely under wraps. She failed to do the latter. I am just surprised the Duchess never told her all this. She better hope the Kingdom and College gets attacked soon, so gossip can move away from her.
TheLazerCat
She said she was planning on using her spell to warm them like she would herself, though I also agree that it is weird to bring her friends in this scenario
Disgruntoad
Respectfully, great work & i love the story. It's impressive that you're able to publish as high quality as quickly as you do. That said, I think it would be valuable to take a day or two to rethink the plot of the last chapter & this one. Imho, the pacing for the relationship is too fast. Your suggested changes don't make it feel better. I would even argue that what you've written is a reasonable depiction of college life, but it just doesn't hit that way. Feels off. Maybe push the Cade scene back to the next mini arc or so? I also think bringing her friends north to visit her dying grandfather is a bit... rude? Awkward and unnecessary. Just not the time / place imo. Love the idea of going north with them, but not now. Anyway, just my thoughts.
John Koor
She's had teenage hormones for 12 years! I'd be interested in an eld perspective on her age in regards to her first time. There's a good chance eld start banging much closer to their puberty because teenage hormones are no joke.
Dave N
Alright everyone, I've been out with my family pretty much all day, so I'm just getting back to this now. I don't have any plans of ignoring feedback - feedback helps make my story better! I think it's key to stay within the realm of constructive feedback and for everyone to stay polite with each other in these comment sections, even when people disagree. For the most part, people seem to be doing pretty well with that. I don't think we've had any comments cross the line into misogynism / slut shaming here on Patreon, but there have been a few on RR that I've had to block/ban, so I wanted to make my stance clear up front, proactively. I'm going to take a look at the Liv/Cade character beats from chapter 90 onward - the stuff that hasn't hit RR yet - and see what I can do to beef up the development leading to this, and smooth out some inconsistencies people have pointed out. Again, thank you for giving constructive feedback, and keep being considerate and awesome to each other. I love your enthusiasm!
william wallace
Could also move the start date of school back to earlier in the summer so that the king tide happens at the safe time of year. Even just adding a more school in a few additional chapters would help.
Tarrim
Depends on how late in the year it is. My best guess we are something like October it which case its probably below freezing but not so low to be highly dangerous to those only kind of prepared with two mages that I believe are capable of warming people up.
Tarrim
I very much doubt he would grant permission for any of the others to go except maybe sidonie as an extra escort.
william wallace
Archmagus could lend them some personal heating items the academy had made (I would assume there are lots of left over enchanting projects that have minimal market or some problem like limited uses) or possibly have a bit about Liv practicing keeping an area or small group warm with her magic.
Tarrim
Also if he wants her friends there he can't push events back much. Otherwise it would be winter above the Arctic circle something they aren't even remotely prepared for.
Patrick van Ballegooyen
Personally of all the comments so far I think the comment by Venna really hits the nail on the head. The author has done a good job of laying a strong foundation and reasoning for the budding conflict between Liv and Cade. All the pieces required for her decision to sleep with Cade to make sense within the context of the story are there. They just need some narrative glue to bring them all together. All the story really needs is a few added scenes across the course of the past few chapters showing a gradual shift in her mindset from the conservative one imparted by her upbringing to the more liberated and open one present in Coral Bay to tie it all together. With that added context her decisions and behaviour over the past two chapters would make a lot more sense and would not feel so inconsistent with her established characterisation thus far.
Larc
Thanks for the chapter. I do think having the relationship pushback layered with the grandfather passing away is a bit tropey and cheap, to be honest, and I didn't quite understand why (or even how) Liv is supposed to bring her adventuring party over to Eld lands—wouldn't they freeze?
Alexander Johnson
I guess I don't see friendship as likely either - I just don't want to see her making too many enemies before her training is complete at Coral Bay🥲
Tarrim
I do wonder if the plan is to have Liv graduate with sidonie and travel the north with her while waiting for the others to graduate. It would explain why he is pushing the events so fast since she will probably need to rush to accomplish things. Nothing like a death in the family to push her forward.
Piras
Honestly excited to see how her friends will do and how they will react to the ice castle and all
Patrick van Ballegooyen
Once it goes up on Royal Road we should be able to get a better idea of what the broader reader base thinks of it. That being said ultimately I think that whether or not the broader reader base agrees with the criticisms or not is beside the point. At the end of the day it is the authors story to tell and whether or not the author decides to take the above criticisms on board should be based on whether after some reflection they feel that the criticisms have any merit to them and not because they do or do not feel pressured to do so by the readers.
william wallace
Yes. If she has known them for a few months it makes more sense. The liv and cade relationship was never going to be long term but it is suffering hard from lack of screen time. Throw away lines about liv re-evaluating her views of social norms after a letter from her grandmother or the duchess would help (just a thought). Making dumb decisions in college is a time honored right of passage, but it would help the reader if either her relationship with cade had more screen time or maybe after liv and cade have one last fight about their relationship she got drunk and hooked up with someone completely random while drunk and sad.
Gopard
I would say never adventure with first year students some of whom have no combat skills. And also don't get them kicked out of college for breaking the single basic rule "don't leave the country without asking"? These issues could be fixed by splitting this in 2 and adding more dialogue. Not rushing this biggest plot development since bald peak so much. I think that's the biggest problem. Ever since bald peak we have been getting to little in story time and to much alternate POV for the number of chapters building up to this great next "plot point".
Tarrim
This isn't going to be a platonuc relationship that can survive what is happening. Ideally it doesn't end as true enemies but I don't see anyway they will be friends afterwards. There is a non zero chance he or his father may try to force a marriage which is something Liv was warned about. I don't think it will be Cade but his father could definitely try to some degree.
Gopard
Yeah agreed! Especially with the alst thing. But I also just wrote the same thing under the author's comment. Just push back the eld happenings (and maybe the kingtide if that celebration into sex into travel with Keri was always planned) by a few chapters to give the whole social aspects more time to develop. Her now taking a bunch of kids into this super dangerous journey she knows for barely 3 weeks is super strange in itself.
Gopard
I don't know... It's a patreon so how many people have read this chapter already 30 maybe? Is like 5 of them didn't heart it. With the upvotes on the "critic comments" similarly in number as the one author commen. This seems at least "a very large minority" from the "quick readers" who read every chapter within hours. Could be a skewed perception ofc maybe in 2 days this ratio and comment section will look completely different. I don't think the eex was bad actually. I think Liv coming across as an extreme pride felt off... She went into a rift alone and has been regularly travelling shoals in the north she rew up hunting with Emma for god's sake and she is "flustered by wearing pants"??? That's the big disconnect I think. Make it so she is less flustered about sexuality Overall and more about "sexuality/contact with another person" (because that's absolutely normal for a virgin) and then have that evaporate when both just get drunk to hell's. That would make sense. Thora just not appearing last chapter at least trying to stop it (she would not be able to do anything serious considering those are 2 strong drunk mages tbh but at least warning them both...) and why was a ladies maid not at the restaurant in the first place or when 2 drunk magic wielding nobles stumbled about the academy one with a word to literally open wounds and the other the strongest student at the school? I agree with the others the disconnect feels rushed. I would have expected the Eld part maybe just come 2 chapters later and those 2 chapters have 1-2 months of classes and social interactions happen. Also does anyone else find it super weird how Liv just "Allows" 5 utterly weak students one of which has no combat magic or skills at all to come along like this is a beach excursion? That feels honestly even more out of left field than the rest to me. Also there 1-2 months of training would do wonders to make this group capable of actually being safe for this travel.
william wallace
I just did a re-read of the last few chapters. I think part of the problem that readers are finding/feeling in regard to Liv and Cade is made worse by both the alt pov and the very compressed timeline. The time between the fight at bald peak and liv leaving here is about 3 weeks. This could easily be expanded to several months without impacting the story. A throwaway line at the eld council meeting about how it took so long to organize due to the need for aid and support after the terrorist attack would establish a longer timeline. The king tide then could be pushed back and a chapter or two that is more slice of life with liv getting to know her friends and more build up in her relationship with cade (who is suffering from not having much screen time), you can add discussion of what cade wants vs what liv wants and what they think the relationship is here so its less out of nowhere, her friends can help here, maybe arjun (sp?) can give perspective as a foreigner. Add a chapter after the pov shift that takes the end of the last liv chapter (where she decides to sleep with cade) and expand it with a post king tide party where she can decide to have a fling with cade. Then spit this last chapter and expand the morning section with a fight with cade ending with jurian showing up to tell her keri is here. Then a new chapter building up the getting ready section and add one more argument with cade. Maybe have cade come with the group. They can have a big break up in the frozen north or something. Anyway just my thoughts. Apologies for the wall of text formatting on mobile is horrible.
Alexander Johnson
I hope Liv and Cade's relationship as friends doesn't suffer too much - he would make a very bad enemy with his knowledge of Liv and his word😬
Alexander Johnson
Thanks for the chapter! Excited to see team Liv in action - a little nervous too, lol
Tarrim
One thing she has absolutely been shown as being is bad with alcohol Venna. She's constantly gotten at least somewhat drunk without meaning to. Partly probably comes from being small so if she keeps pace drinking wise with others they might be only somewhat inebriated while she is very drunk.
Gopard
I heavily agree with the friends coming along for the ride for several reasons. One more being how she is just taking Lucanian nobles to see the strongest Eld Mage who is dying right after am attack by a Cult which is proven to have contacts all over... And that she is also suddenly going from "I was on the fence with Cade" to "by basically telling him he can't come but letting my extremely weak friends come I break up this relationship completely". Even KERI should have just put his foot down and forbidden those kids to come along. And I see what you mean with the whole sex and being so prudish before... But that's YA for you especially when lots and lots of Alcohol is involved. However I do agree the strange barbs at her being flustered at wearing pants are strange... She met into rifts rode regularly travelled through shoals dozens of times. It feels very strange that she wouldn't have been wearing pants for he majority if it now that I think about it lol?
Tarrim
I do wonder how much is vocal minority vs an actually common view amongst readers. The up voted comments make me think it is at least a large minority who really dislike this element of the story but it's hard to tell for sure from a comment section only. The last time I saw something similar happen in another story they did a poll which seemed to indicate it was a minority position.
Venna
Liv has been shown as a naive young woman with no relevant experience, so I would expect her to make mistakes. So with the right build up, I think that Liv sleeping with Cade makes sense. It would still end up as a disaster but it could make sense. I can see her feeling like people here are more accepting of PDA, and her thinking that coral bay is more socially progressive than it really is. With her being unaware that people are accepting of it because they see her and Cade as essentially betrothed. We are also told about her opening up, and coming terms with showing not just her ankles, but even her midriff *gasp* I can see it almost coming together and working. However we haven’t seen Liv overcome her previous mindset, I fully expected a shopping scene where Liv had to come to terms with wearing pants in public, her being encouraged to open up more and her coming to terms with it. This sort of did happen off screen, but it could be a stepping stone towards her over correcting. I could imagine her justifying this to herself, after all didn’t Matt have sex while he was at Coral Bay? Doesn’t she need to loosen up more? (clothes) and aren’t people accepting of PDA here? I can totally see where this is coming from but Liv is not a sexually liberated modern woman, she has been portrayed as a conservative woman who was shocked to see Matt / Beatrice sleep together after they've spent 6 years together. Historical women had sex drives too, and there is nothing wrong with premarital sex. However it was not socially acceptable, and Liv has been shown to be a proper lady according to the standards of the time. So she would have been thinking about this kind of thing, or at least the reader expects her to be. So I think the story would benefit a lot from a few scenes showing the build up to this. As this is a major moment for the character, and she needs to figure herself out. I think it deserves a proper build up to it. Not even necessarily in the moment, because she was pretty drunk, but in the chapters leading up to this. As an aside, I really do enjoy this novel. So while I think this plot line could be improved, I must also say that I really do think you’ve done a good job with the world building, and Liv’s characterization has been great in many respects. I absolutely love the concept of the out of touch eld being forced to go through things slowly. It gives both a chance for her to be a badass, and for her to have realistic weaknesses.
Gopard
Thanks for the chapter! Have to admit it feels weird to bring Lucanian nobles even her close friend's to what is as close to a grandduke/ruler as the Eld will get. I mean even ong the House Heads he's the oldest right? Isn't this attack essentially a national secret of the End still? Same with her Grandfather's status? That's like if the Archmagus was suddenly killed/mortally wounded alongside many of the other strongest noble heads. Would the royal family ever allow the princess to bring outsiders to see his exact condition? More importantly IF she brings them by not bringing Cade you as the author have basically ended Amy potential relationship. And I have to admit it feels a bit weird for this decisive of a breakup to happen the night after they have sex? I personally expected only Liv and Keri to go she could just tell them: I can't take you you are too weak, with anyone but a professor or the strongest journeyman the risk of that journey are to high sorry. Arjun especially has zero business there. By all rights from what we have seen when someone gets hurt in that area they either make it to Kelris where way better healers are or they die on the way caught by huge packs of monsters. Because Keri is not as Strong as Liv's father... Anyway that's the one thing that felt weird to me. First that she's treating this like "who do I allow to come along this visit" not "well who can survive the journey"? Then that by doing it she breaks all academy regulations and basically completely breaks up with Cade and the whole "Lucanian random nobles seeing one of the strongest Eld castles and mages without warning". It's possible you have considered those ofc and that I'm both overestimatimg the danger, Liv's feelings for Cade and the whole Eld Lucania political situation. Also sorry this was written on my phone if the formatting is horrendous I apologize in advance lol.
No Name
Piras, have you noticed that despite the comment section being overwhelmingly criticism, the only comments the author has interacted with are the few exceptions which are not negative? We are being blatantly blown off, its not an assumption. And here is something for you to think about: Within the setting of the story, (until the last few chapters, anyways) with medieval strict codes of conduct for women and its treatment of bastards, direct and explicit slut-shaming of Liv would be the realistic outcome. So tell me, in a situation where slut-shaming is the obvious consequence, how do you distinguish commenters giving in-universe reactions (i.e, "she would be considered a slut within the world of the story"), against the ones who are calling her a slut as a misogynistic slur "because real-world girls shouldn't act like that!"? Assigning labels to people when the story itself invites such ambiguity is farcical.
Piras
I do think there were some criticism getting close to slut shaming and all No Name, so it was an important thing for the author to adress, it's pretty bleak to assume that he will just ignore all feedback and criticism, and stuff like that just makes it an even more antagonistic situation then this needs to be. I honestly dont think the author has made any wrong choices with the story, but it did feel very sudden, it is clear that it was a sudden 'decision' on her part too, but I did miss more of a description of what was going on in her head and her desires, like Rosemund is the character she has kind of been most overtly horny for, she likes Cades attention and all but it did feel a bit jarring, even with a bit more hornyness on the last chapter leading to drunk sex would be enough for me tho. And yeah she does live in a more prudish society, but the Elds clearly are less resolute about that, and the college is very much a diferent space and she has been there for a bit guys.
william wallace
Im on the fence. On the one side she has met him before and he helped save her life once. On the other she hasn’t seem him in years and he shows up out of the blue and says there is an eld civil war, come with me now. This is moderated by the fact that she can confirm the portal end destination. From her father’s perspective, I think he would at least send a letter.
Tarrim
I don't think a letter is needed he was chosen specifically because Liv knows him.
william wallace
Never adventure without a healer!!!
william wallace
Could be. But he still wouldn’t know where she is staying. Also it might be worth adding a quick letter from her father or grandmother asking Liv to trust Keri and follow him quickly.
John Koor
He probably could have gotten relatively far in by people being surprised by a full blood eld encounter and people assuming he was Liv's dad.
307Bookworm_AOB
meh...its 2025. Body Count is everything. Do as i say and not as I do. Yes means yes and no means yes. its not my fault, someone else did it first. If you dont agree with me, you are wrong so shut up. Got it.
Max
Yeah ik, but the hope was still there and a change to her stopping and them getting into a shouting match in the middle of the night wouldnt be too large. Just rewriting the end of the last and this chapter
No Name
Max, there is practically no chance the author will do anything but ignore us. If you're wondering why, here is a crash course in human psychology for you: The authors response to the blowback on the last chapters can be summed up in the second point of the comment: "Please keep any reactions to this - even if you hate it - firmly within the bounds of politeness. No misogyny or slut shaming here.". When people react to criticism (or any form of opposing opinion generally) by assigning negative labels to the critics ("misogynists" and "slut shamers", in this case), it is for the purpose of what I like to call "invalidization". The one who applies the label uses the label itself as justification to themselves that they are allowed to just disregard the criticism. "No need to listen to the opinions of misogynists." Thus rendering the critique invalid in their mind. There is a second component of attempting to shame the critics with such labels as well, but self-justification is the main goal. The author has already made up their mind on this matter; any comment which doesn't agree with them will just be disregarded as coming from "insert appropriate label here".
william wallace
It might be worth considering splitting this chapter, add some to the morning after awkwardness and a bit more of the fight with cade. Have jurian come find her about an eld that just came looking for her. Then the second chapter with meeting keri, maybe a bit of conflict between keri and cade then fill out the group preparation and have a bit from jurian/the archmagus making it an educational trip with Sidonie as their journeyman. Just a thought.
Cascano Richard
Hum, while I agree on the point of needing to have experience and the clash with the sudden third base (not sure about the number of base there)(and they were just naked, we're not sure anything happened) It kinda make sense that she know it's not a great but not really the why and the consequences that comes with it. There is no bird and be mentioned except the Maiden charm a while back, so I assume there's not much. And it make sense to throw yourself in something without clear rules when you willingly take mana directly from a erupting Rift. But she always thought about it after, so I expect a lest a reflection on it before she return.
Tarrim
I don't think Cade explicitly used alcohol to lower her inhibitions. He screwed up but it's a bit more understandable from his pov. He thinks they are engaged and will be married soon. They have been courting for 6 years even if only over letters. So he made the assumption she also wants to get married. His view on events was probably more she was caught off guard the first time now she has realized he was right and this is ok. They clearly have a major communication problem. I have mixed feelings about these events in general. I will agree the way the society is presented in college and in the rest of the world is a bit jarring in some respects.
Dave N
I think it’s a good idea to make that more explicit, I like it. I’ll try to do a bit of rewriting later today!
Dave N
And it’s a party of choice, not assigned like at the beach!
307Bookworm_AOB
I agree with Max. I don't have the issue of her sleeping with someone, i was more upset with how quickly and abruptly her decision making and character changed over the course of like...4-5 chapters? Embarrassed from a kiss, holding hands, thoughts of we are courting , not getting married, embarrassed about pants or whatever and so forth. The time before when she pushed him away after a meal and drinking can be attributed to "not drunk enough, lets try again later" and calling it gentlemanly. To what we got in last chapter, drunk enough to be completely inebriated, making a shit choice and waking up with regret and hangover. If he was such a gentlemen, he would have said no, you are to drunk. But instead took advantage of the situation, hence the scum bag comment. Then there is the issue with her personal maid. What is her purpose of even being there at all. A personal maids job is more than cleaning, washing and feeding their charge. They are the charges last line of defense from harm, both physically and socially. Thora should never have been absent from this whole situation as her job entailed protecting Liv, which includes bad decisions. So either she is a shit maid or she is going to get fired when news of this gets out. Characters having sex isn't the issue (whether male or female), the issue was how fast it progressed to that point without actually showing it get to that point. Oh I'm so embarrassed to lets smash in such a short amount of time is what triggered this for me. You have been awesome in the story up until this point for me. Some explanation to show this would have helped a ton. However, the way its portrayed, shows that Cade not only used external means to lower Liv's cognitive responses but tried to manipulate it to his favor. Mutual consent is fine, inebriated consent that turned into instant regret can be considered rape. i'm sure there is more, but im to tired and its cold as hell. But for the most part, I love your story, how you portray magic and everything else. How you developed the characters, locations and such. But the last chapter felt so rushed, so out of character from the MC based on previous chapters that it goes against your statement of "slow burn progression"
Tarrim
Wouldn't Sidonie be a journeyman. I don't think it's been explicitly stated that she joined the mage guild but I'm guessing based on context she has. Also I'd recommend a confirmation be added at some point in the earlier chapters.
Max
And please just don’t ignore your readers, we are all here because we like the story and want it to succeed
Max
I also think you should rewrite the last 2-3 Liv chapters. Liv’s actions arent the problem, just how she arrives there. A few chapters ago she was flustered over pants and now acts like this, this just doesnt feel in character. I think this conflict is way to modern and them falling out due to him wanting sex and her not, due to the risk of pregnancy or out of not wanting to take that step, would have fitted her character way more. If this happend afer a few months or years it would be another thing, but one doesn’t change that fast. I really like this story and how you kept it at a very grounded medieval inspired level, and I hope it wont lose that, just to drive the story on, you yourself describe it as slow-burn. Im not against Liv sleeping around, with whom ever or developing in a more liberated way, it just matters how we get there.
Tarrim
So just how close to the final adventuring team did we get at the end of this chapter. Wren is missing who i think is almost certain. One more eld would be nice but this group is quite possibly close.
william wallace
My first thought is that jurian or someone would have been there with keri, keri doesnt know where liv is staying. So he would have had an escort from the leadership of the school. Random adults cant just teleport in a wander into student dorms. Second, jurian should have donated the mana to activate the teleport, he is her master and she is going somewhere dangerous. Third, if they sent a journeyman with them they can sweep this under the rug by calling it a school event/independant study. Finally, the breakup drama will be so good and messy.
Daemon Ursus
Yeah, I agree with No Name here, you have crafted a dumpster fire here. Honestly, I think you need a total rewrite on the last two chapters. Its not about "slut shaming" as you put it or anything else. Its about the actions of the person in question not fitting who they are, the world they are in and their life choices thus far. You started out creating a story with most of its sensibilities based in a highly repressed class based society which is so strict that women who aren't nobles cant even wear colored dresses for goodness sake. Liv in particular would be very sensitive to things like this as she grew up being told repeatedly how lucky she was to be alive as she and her mother should have been thrown out for her mother having a bastard. Now we have a section that is "country girl goes to college and has blackout drunk sex." Rather than feeling like a believable progression of the world and people you have created, it reads as you deciding that you needed a "Liv makes a big oopsie at school" section and then ham fisting it together from what would constitute that in a modern western world and not what would be appropriate for the repressed society you are working with. Also where was Wren and or Thora during all of this? Wren is excusable, you could argue she holds very different values. However, as a ladies maid one of Thora's chief duties would be making sure her charge isn't having blackout drunk sex with a guy on her 20th-ish day at school. Additionally, based on the comments I saw yesterday, there really wasn't much so called "slut shaming" going on. So, you calling it out specifically as a defense the way you did, makes it feel like you are attempting to use the term as a weapon to shut down criticism from people who disagree with the direction your writing has very abruptly taken.
Stuart Anderson
So I agree with all your points! But I do want to say that I think you might be missing the point the complaint No Name is having . Especially as you threw in number 2, you’re preaching against something that wasn’t there. It’s not that she’s having sex (you could have the Eld practice orgies, and Liv enthusiastically participate for all I care), it’s that your characterisation is swinging wildly. On the same chapter that she gets flustered over showing any skin at all, she’s suddenly wildly ready to get naked and have sex with someone, with absolutely no in between. It’s that no in between (her getting comfortable with showing skin, maybe heavy petting etc) that make it very hard to understand the character. Also not to be I downer but I also have a problem with this chapter as well, it said that no students can leave the campus, Liv is leaving due to family emergency, cleared by faculty. Now all of a sudden 5 students are going simply because they’re Liv’s friends? And they’re going to an exceptionally dangerous area unprepared and with little training, and Liv’s just fine with it? Worse there is zero narrative reason for them to come with, Liv has made this trip with two multiple times, they’re reasoning is horseshit. It really feels like recently your making things happen in story just because you want it to happen, and there’s very little link to the narrative or what’s been established in world.
Quasiwani
Yeah I think another chapter after chapter 98 where Liv can ruminate on what happened the previous night could go a long way. I don't think the direction this chapter is going is wrong or surprising, but going from chapter 98, to Keri's PoV, to the last couple chapters is jarring. I don't know if it's worth the time, but you could experiment by putting in a chapter 98.5 on RoyalRoad and see if their reception is any different.
EverP
Tbh.. I don't think the logic cuz my brother did it so I can too is working out for me. She have twice the life experience of her "humanize" age counterpart. I know she will regret this... I think. But interesting development.
No Name
Ok, I see what's causing the issues with the story here... You're basing the course of the story off of modern sensibilities and perspectives, causing a complete clash between these severely anachronistic elements and the actual setting and characters involved...
Seri
I think the time-Skippy nature of this story didn't do any favors. Last we saw Liv think about Cade she was quite concerned about taking another step with him but now she immediately pulled him into bed (admittedly following a lot of alcohol). She's probably had a lot to think about be we as readers saw little to none of it so it's a little abrupt.
No Name
Ok, I really didn't care until now, but this Cade thing is just getting stupid. First you arbitrarily declare that what Liv and Cade want differ (very poorly characterized, in that case; it looked more like Liv just wanted to wait before getting too intimate), and now you have this girl which the most recent chapters constantly pointed to being very conservative in how girls should behave, suddenly drag the boy to her room. Followed by "No, I did not accept to be betrothed"? What? This is just drama for dramas sake at this point...
Dave N
A few words about last chapter. 1) Everything is done for a reason, and I hope that Liv's thoughts and reactions in today's chapter are starting to make clear where this is heading. She'd very much been dithering about Cade, enjoying the attention but not really wanting to actually commit to him, and her actions are now pushing this brewing conflict to a point where she's going to need to make some real decisions. Was she immature about how she's handled all this? 100%. But that's how characters grow - they make mistakes and then deal with the consequences of those mistakes. 2) Girls are allowed to have sex. In real life, and in fiction. They don't need to be married or in love, they can be a little drunk, a little horny, and a little curious - just like boys. Please keep any reactions to this - even if you hate it - firmly within the bounds of politeness. No misogyny or slut shaming here. 3) I've worked real hard to keep my mouth shut about Cade. This relationship was never designed to last, so its ok if people didn't like him, or were ambivalent about him. If you felt 'he is definitely not the one for her' - you were right. I tried to balance that with presenting him as a three dimensional character, and I do have a bit of sympathy for him. He had a crush on a girl, and she agreed to a relationship for political reasons. Their expectations for the future did not align. He assumed Liv would be a wife and the two of them would go back to his home where he'd be a baron and she'd have a couple kids. I think we all have the perspective to see that was always impossible, but that doesn't mean he did. 4) It was very important to me that Liv had more than one relationship over the course of this story. I didn't want her to meet 'the one' with no prior experience. I wanted her to be able to formulate firm ideas of what she wants and doesn't want in terms of relationships, and to be assertive about those things. This is a step in that process. Like it is for many of us in real life, that can be a bit messy. OK! Hope you all enjoyed this, and north we go!
