BoiteBiscuit
patreon
Incredible news haha!!
🕑 Added 2023-05-16 09:38:45 +0000 UTCSoooo... You know how I don't post a lot, how I'm always tired, lack of focus and all...?
I already talked so much on Patreon about how hard for me it was to update more, when I was so productive back in 2015-2017. I always thought my 2018 burnout broke me.
I thought I was over. That I would never be the same again. That having a baby wouldn't help (and yet, baby is here for a year and a half now).
I thought my burnout broke my brain. And that it'd take decades to come back, and when it would it'd be too late. I was so tired, all the time, how could someone be exhausted H24.
Sometimes I was less tired, and I felt shame because I still couldn't work, post on here, be more productive for you. Sometimes my days where just doing one task that back in 2017 would have taken 10 minutes. No focus. Head empty.
Then (maybe 8 months ago?) my Doctor told me : "It's not normal. You shouldn't be THAT tired after a full night of sleep. Even as a parent."
And we did tests.
There was a lot of wait, because specialists are all booked for months.
At first we suspected my thyroid. The specialist said that if it was a thyroiditis I could develop :
-sleep disruption
-exhaustion
-memory loss
-attention deficit
(+ hair loss and uncontrollable weight gain, but that wouldn't affect my work)
Fun fact : I already experiment 5 of those at low doses... haha.
It is a thyroiditis.
THEN, the specialist spoted something more, and we did more tests.
I slept a full night in a hospital to check my sleep quality.
I woke up 188 times during that night.
I'm also having sleep apnea.
No wonder I was so exhausted!!! And we don't even know how long I'm experiencing that? My guess is since summer 2017. And I believe it's what made me have a burnout January 2018. That's only a theory tho, and we will never now. But knowing my dumb self, and remembering that time very well : I was exhausted but worked like if I wasn't.
I've been under meds for a week now, I'm still tired but I'm starting to be a bit more focused again it seems ?
I'll get a machine to help for my sleep apnea in a few weeks too. That will help ++
I'm so happy my whole situation has a rational explenation and is fixable!
Now, I shouldn't believe I'll become super productive again all of a sudden. I still have a baby xD and a baby is time consuming.
This is not magical, but it feels like a small miracle though, I won't lie.
No empty promises. I'll update when I update. But let's all cross fingers for it to be more often again.
Thank you everyone for your support.
And I hope there isn't too many english mistakes in this post haha xD
Aaahahahhhaaaaaa I feel my energy slowly comming baaaaakc (ugly cries)
Comments
Obsidian Freeman
Yeah sleep apnea is no fun but it's good that you know now. Hope it continues to get easier.
Kaikoveritch
That sounds really tough. I hope you'll get loads of rest and finally get to be truly unbothered, moisturized, happy, in your lane, focused AND flourishing.
