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Gradual Change – Part 8
🕑 Added 2021-09-18 13:36:38 +0000 UTCAfter eating breakfast at the coffee shop and returning home, Ryan took a quick shower before walking back into his room to get dressed. He walked downstairs after he was finished. His mom was waiting for him.
They walked to her SUV, which was in the garage, and Ryan walked to the front door, but Heather shook her head. "Back seat, mister," Heather said, smiling a bit. Ryan just huffed and walked to the back seat. Taking his seat, Ryan fastened his seat belt before Heather started the car.
It was finally the moment of truth for Ryan, and Heather was nervous, very nervous. She was known as a strong and fearless woman. Heather had stunning beauty, high intelligence, and courage that no one could match. Above all, she was a shrewd lawyer in front of a Judge. Anyone who had ever seen her working as a lawyer would never believe that Heather could ever get nervous. They would laugh at the thought, as she was the Iron Lady in court.
Yet, there she was. Not just nervous, but scared; scared for her baby. She remembered when the doctors told her that Ryan wouldn't live more than two weeks. He was so weak when he was born. But Heather never gave up hope. She couldn't lose her baby, no matter what happened, and she wasn't about to lose him now.
Looking up in the mirror, Heather couldn't help but smile at the little angel sitting in the back seat. As brave, fearless, and smart Ryan was, he was as innocent and as pure as an angel. He was the cutest child she had ever seen in her life, and she loved him with all her heart.
Arriving in front of the clinic, Heather parked her SUV and got out, followed by Ryan. Ryan was used to frequently visiting Lynn's clinic. After all, his aunt was more than happy to do his regular check-ups instead of letting Ryan going to another doctor. She would rather keep her cute nephew as a regular patient than allow some stranger to examine him.
When Ryan was born, Lynn was one of the few doctors who encouraged Heather and Jeff not to give up. She was right; after all, seeing her cute little nephew in front of her eyes proved just that. She loved the fact that she was right. After all, Lynn was sure that her sister wouldn't have made it without her baby.
Entering the eight-story building, Heather and Ryan took the elevator to the fifth floor, where Lynn's clinic was located. As they entered the clinic, Ryan held his mom tightly. "Mommy, scared," Ryan said, shaking a bit.
It had been four years since Heather had seen Ryan act this way. It was an old habit of Ryan when he was scared. He would hold her tightly and would stay as close to her as he could. While Heather found it cute, it also tore her heart apart, knowing that her child was fearless and it's wasn't easy to scare him. She knew how hard all this was on him.
"It's alright, baby, don't be scared," Heather said, leaning down to kiss his head. "No matter what, I will be there for you," Heather comforted Ryan as they walked towards the reception counter.
Heather walked up to the counter, and they were greeted by a college girl. Her name was Ava, and she worked part-time in the clinic. She was also doctor Lynn's only trainee. "Mrs. Houston, it's been a while," the girl immediately left her desk to greet them.
"Good morning, Ava; I hope my sister isn't overworking you," Heather joked, raising an eyebrow to make it look a bit serious.
"No, not at all, ma'am. I am learning more here from doctor Lynn than any other trainee I know off," Ava said as she cast her eyes down on Ryan. Something was different about him; he was always lively, outgoing, very talkative, and had a great sense of humor that she guessed he took from Heather. Ava laughed a bit; she knew Heather's friendly attitude, which confirmed that she was doctor Lynn's sister.
Today he was different. He was holding onto Heather very tightly, which was unusual for him. "Hi, Ryan, what's wrong?" She liked Ryan, even if he was ten years younger than she. It felt as if he was only two or three years younger than her. He was way too smart for a kid his age and had a lot of knowledge about many things, including the legal system, which was not surprising.
"Nothing," Ryan mumbled while looking down, which confused Ava even more. This was not like him at all. He looked scared, while before, it seemed as if nothing could scare him.
"He's not feeling good, that's all, is my sister inside? We have an appointment right now," Heather said, wanting to save Ryan from the questioning eyes of Ava. She knew that the girl meant no harm, and she was just worried about the sudden change in Ryan's behavior. Still, she knew that Ryan was going through a lot, and the last thing he needed was someone interrogating him. Even if it wasn't on purpose.
"Yes, ma'am, doctor Lynn is waiting for you," Ava said, returning to her desk.
Heather walked towards Lynn's office while Ryan followed closely behind her. She knocked on the door and opened it. Sitting behind her desk was Heather's sister Lynn. She was only one year older than Heather and looked so much like her that people used to think that Heather, Lynn, and Leslie were triplets.
"Heather, Ryan come in," she stood up from behind her desk and walked over to hug Heather, who returned the hug. As always, Lynn looked very professional, even in her outfit. She was wearing a grey long sleeve knee-length bodycon dress. Combined with sheer black pantyhose and black stiletto heels.
"Rye-Rye, you're so cute, just like your mom," said Lynn even though she knew that Ryan hated this nickname. She started kissing Ryan all over his face making him whine.
"Aunty, please, stop it," Ryan said, trying his best to avoid all the kisses coming from his aunt.
"Alright, I am done," Lynn said, smiling at Ryan, who was wiping his face from all the kisses.
Lynn then put on a lab coat and looked at Ryan.
"Sweetie, would you mind getting up on the examination table?" Lynn asked, to which Ryan nodded.
Ryan got on the examination table while his aunt removed her heels and slipped on a pair of fuzzy slippers. She then slipped her hands in medical gloves before walking back to Ryan. "Alright, do you know why you're here, Ryan?" Lynn asked, and Ryan nodded his head.
"Did you confirm what I asked you to do yesterday?" Lynn said, looking back at Heather.
"Yea, it's just like you expected," Heather replied with visible concern on her face.
"Ryan, can you please remove your top? I want to look at your chest." Ryan nodded before pulling his sweater and undershirt up. Lynn stared at his chest for a couple of seconds. "Your nipples hurt when you touch them, right?"
"Yes, Aunty," Ryan said, confirming what Heather had told Lynn yesterday.
"Ok, I want you to lay down and pull down your pants and underwear, ok?"
Blushing a bit, Ryan nodded before laying down and removing his pants and underwear. Lynn moved to examine Ryan's penis at; first, she held it between two fingers. It completely disappeared between her two fingers because of how small it was. She then held his scrotum and took her time examining it.
She finally walked away and returned with a squeeze bottle that was labeled Ultrasound Gel. "Alright, Ryan, we will now make an ultrasound test; I am going to spread the gel before we do it," Lynn said as she spread it around his abdomen.
The gel was cold, and Ryan shivered as his aunt spread it. She gave him an apologetic look and then held up an ultrasound wand. "Alright, Ryan, do you know what this device does?" Lynn asked, not expecting Ryan to know about it.
"Yes, it shows what's inside my body," Ryan explained, making Lynn smile.
"Yes, you are correct. Now I will move this wand around your abdomen, and then we will discuss what we saw, alright?" Lynn asked as Ryan nodded. Starting the device, Lynn began to move the wand slowly around Ryan's abdomen.
"Aunty, that tickles," Ryan said, making Lynn smile a bit.
But, once Lynn's face turned towards the screen, she, however, frowned at what she saw. She kept slowly moving the wand left and right as if she was looking for something before shutting it off. She proceeded to clean the wand before wiping Ryan's abdomen with a tissue.
"You can get dressed and sit down beside your mom," Lynn said before walking to her desk and taking her seat. She wanted Ryan to get dressed and take his seat before she started to speak. "Let's talk about what I saw and what I didn't see," Lynn said, making Heather look more concerned.
"I will start with what Ryan didn't have; I examined Ryan's scrotum and didn't find any testicles. I tried to find them with the ultrasound, but again, I couldn't find them. That brings us to what I found. Ryan has a uterus, ovaries, and everything else as well," Lynn explained, but Ryan didn't understand what his aunt was saying.
"What does that mean, Aunty?" Ryan asked, not understanding anything other than the fact he didn't have testicles.
Heather, on the other hand, understood, and her heart sank upon hearing this. She had always wanted a daughter, but she never asked for this to happen to one of her sons.
"Ryan, these are all things that girls have, not boys; I know this is hard to believe, but this proves that you're a girl," Lynn explained, while suddenly, the color drained from Ryan's face.
Lynn had explained it to many children before, but until recently, not to her beloved nephews. She had to explain the whole situation to Dennis a week ago. Leslie asked to keep it a secret. It was difficult for Lynn to tell her nephews the news. After all, she didn't have a personal relationship with her patients. It was different for her nephews.
"I believe Ryan will have his first period very soon," Lynn said, looking towards Heather, who was now barely holding her tears in.
Heather kept convincing herself that it wouldn't happen to Ryan, that everything would be ok. Yet, her worst fears are now realized. She doesn't know how to face it. She wants to understand how Ryan feels. She used to know that from one look in his eyes. Now, she's looking into her child's eyes, and all she can see is emptiness.
"Mom? Why is the room spinning?" Ryan suddenly stood up from his seat and wobbled with shaky legs. Heather looked with fear at her baby as he fell to the floor.
"RYAN!" Heather screamed and rushed to hold her baby with Lynn directly behind her.
"Let me take a look," Lynn said worriedly, and Heather made way for her. Lynn started to examine Ryan carefully before letting out a sigh of relief. "He's just unconscious, thank goodness."
"Why? What happened?" Heather asked nervously, with tears running down from her eyes. She couldn't hold it anymore; it felt worse than being stabbed in the heart. She loved her children with all her heart and never hesitated to show her love to them.
It didn't matter if Heather now had the daughter she always wanted. She hated anything that hurt her children. If it was going to mess up her child's life, then it was not worth it.
"Heather, he just received life-changing news; no matter how smart and strong he is, he's still a 10-year-old; it was just too much for him," Lynn said, lifting Ryan. He was a bit heavy, but she managed to lift him and lay him down on the examination table.
"When will he wake up?" Heather asked, terrified.
"From 20 minutes to one or two hours at most. We have to let him rest; there is nothing else you can do."
For the first time, Heather felt helpless; not being able to help her child was tearing her apart, and she didn't like it one bit.
Ryan woke up with a severe headache and was a bit drowsy. Everything was spinning around him, and he didn't know where he was. "Mom," Ryan used all the power he could muster to call his mom.
He felt a soft touch in his hand, and when he looked up, as his sight began to clear, he saw Heather standing there. It was clear she was crying, but when she saw him, she smiled. "How are you feeling now, honey?"
"My head hurts; I feel a bit dizzy," Ryan said, still not realizing where he was. "Mom, you won't believe it. I had the weirdest dream. We were in Aunt Lynn's clinic and…, and…, and," Ryan said, looking around realizing where he was. "Mom, why are we in Aunt Lynn's clinic?" Ryan said, sitting up. "It was a dream, right? Right, mom?" Ryan said while his tears started well up.
Heather wanted nothing more than to tell him that it was all just a dream and none of this had happened. Yet, she couldn't lie to Ryan. Hiding her concerns and worry is one thing but lying to her child was something else.
Heather and Jeff had built their relationship with their children on trust; they never lied to them. Heather couldn't lie now and risk her relationship with her child, especially when her child now needs her the most.
"No, baby, it was real; it was not a dream, although I wish it was," Heather said, letting out a sigh. She didn't like this one bit. She wished Ryan was born a girl, or none of this had happened to begin with, and Ryan would just grow up to be a normal boy.
"This means, that I…, uh, I am, what?" Ryan didn't know what to say, as it was just too much. They taught him all about TSS in school yesterday. How the gender of boys and girls changes to the other gender. He also knew that once the blood test results came out positive, he would legally be a girl, and there was more.
Parents tend to dress their children as girly or as boyish as possible. It was the best-known way to help the children cope with their new gender identity, and the law prohibited them from living as their former gender, or their parents will get into trouble. It could go as far as parents losing custody of their children.
The worst part was TSS children tended to not just accept but embrace and love their new gender. Ryan didn't want that. He just wanted to be a boy; he loved being a boy. He didn't know what to do, as all the doors to staying a boy were being closed in front of him, and he had no choice but to walk down the road to becoming a girl. And he didn't like it one bit.
The door opened, and Lynn entered the room. She saw that Ryan had finally awakened. It had been almost an hour, and she was glad he was up. Some children fell into a deep coma. While all of them eventually came to, and none of them died, there was a chance nonetheless. "Ryan, I see that you are awake, and I still have a few things to talk to you about." Lynn walked over to her desk with some papers in her hand.
"I was sure that what Ryan has TransSexual-Syndrome, (aka. TSS). And now, after the results came back from the lab, I am 100% sure of it. Ryan internally, biologically, and genetically is a girl. Other characteristics had started to appear like the growth of breasts and the retreating of the scrotum, to create a natural-looking vagina."
Lynn finally let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. Dealing with patients, she didn't know, was one thing, but dealing with her nephew, or rather now her niece, was completely different. Her emotions were interfering with her job, and she couldn't do anything about that.
"Do I have to become a girl?" Ryan said, looking at his aunt with begging puppy eyes. He wanted anyone to give him hope, even though he knew his life as a boy was already over.
"I know it's hard on you, but you have to now live as a girl, sweetheart. The lab will send the results to the school, and that will make it official. The school will send the results to your home probably after Christmas. If you don't return to school next year as a girl, there could be serious repercussions. Just give it some time, and you will start to love being a girl; everyone does," Lynn said, trying to say something positive to comfort her niece. Unfortunately, it failed, as Ryan just lowered his head.
That's what scared Ryan the most; he was loving it. He didn't want to love it. He didn't even want to even think about being a girl, let alone loving it. It seemed that his body rebelled and had decided for him, and he didn't have any choice but to become a girl.
"I will provide you with hormone pills to make things go smoother; the vagina will be completely formed before your period starts," Lynn explained, causing Ryan to shudder, imagining himself having a vagina. He didn't know much else about it; all he knew was girls had one instead of a penis.
"The penis will not change into a clitoris without surgery. I don't recommend surgery right now; we must wait for at least a year. Now, the urethra position is changing to the place where it should be for girls. Your penis will still be present, but it will no longer be functional..."
Lynn kept explaining things, but Ryan wasn't listening anymore. His eyes started to tear up, and his sight became blurry.
A couple of minutes later, Heather and Ryan walked back to the SUV. Ryan got into the back seat, but before he could close the door, Heather embraced him with a deep long hug, providing him with what he needed the most, motherly love. "Sweetheart, you're my baby, and you will always be mine. It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl, I will always love you," Heather said, comforting Ryan. She would do anything to help her child in his crisis.
Heather kissed Ryan's forehead and walked to the front seat. "Mom," Ryan called the moment Heather entered the car. Heather looked back towards her beautiful child. "Do you think I was supposed to be born a girl?" Ryan asked, surprising Heather.
From the moment Ryan was born, Heather made sure he didn't feel bad because he wasn't the girl they were expecting. She even made sure Ryan didn't know they were expecting a girl. "Sweetheart, why would you say that?"
"I heard Grandma Ann say that you were expecting a girl before I was born," Ryan said with a shrug.
Heather groaned loudly; her mom had no business in saying that. "Well, your grandma said something that she should never have said. I love you no matter what sex you are, you are my baby, and I will always love you," Heather said, making it clear for Ryan that she still loves him and will always love him.
"So, it's true what grandma said?" Ryan asked, dying for an answer. He knew that his mom would never lie to him.
"Yes, Sweetie, we were waiting for a girl, but only because the lab tests said so. I loved you from the first moment I knew I was pregnant with you, and I will say it again, I will always love you, no matter what," Heather said, feeling tears starting to form in her eyes.
"What name did you choose for me before you knew I was a boy?" Ryan inquired, digging for more information. If he had to live as a girl anyway, then he needed to know this piece of information.
"We chose the name, Erinna," Heather answered with a sigh. She didn't like this one bit. Of course, she wanted to have a daughter, and she could do things with her daughter she couldn't do with her son, but she knew the price of having a daughter. She also knew that it was her child who was paying the full price.
"Mom, I think uh…. Maybe we should stop using the name Ryan, instead we….um…. We should use the name, Erinna," Ryan said, trying to force a smile that broke Heather's heart.
Heather couldn't help but smile softly, even when it's like this; Ryan was still trying to make everyone else happy. "If Erinna is the name you want, then, I understand, Rye…, Erinna," Heather said, using the name for the first time.
