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The Girl In The Band - The Lead Singer - Chapter 23
🕑 Added 2022-09-16 13:23:21 +0000 UTCOTHER CHAPTERS | ALL STORY LIST
“Don’t take that tone with me, Mr. Winters!” Mom said into the phone. “John took us by surprise. We had no idea.” I could hear Mom on the phone as I walked through the living room to the kitchen. I was still in my nightgown. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was about a quarter past eight in the morning.
Mom continued, “Okay, Mr. Winters. I’ll have John at your office by ten.” She paused a moment, and then spoke again, “He’ll be there. Even if I have to hog-tie him, he’ll be there!” She hung up the phone. As I opened the refrigerator door, I unnecessarily asked, “Who was that?” Mom sat down on the kitchen counter and sighed. “It was Mr. Winters.
I called to inform him of John’s staff change. He’s not any happier about it than we are.” I set the jug of milk down on the counter as I said, “Good. Maybe he can talk some sense into him.” I plodded over to the pantry to pull out a cereal box. Mom stared at the wall, not focusing on anything. She said, “I certainly hope so. However, there’s not a whole lot he can do.” I set a bowl down and started filling it with cereal.
I said, “Why not? Isn’t he the boss?” Mom shook her head. “No, the contract we have with him and the studio is with the band as a whole, not with individual members. John, as the band’s leader, can fire and hire whomever he wants. He doesn’t need the studio’s or Mr. Winters’ approval.”
Pouring the milk into the bowl, I said, “Oh, that’s just great. So what’s the point of going to his office this morning?” Frowning, Mom said, “He’s going to try to talk some sense into John. John can make changes, but if the band fails to meet obligations, or if we lose sales, Mr. Winters can cancel our contract. And he won’t hesitate to do so.” Mom fell silent for a few moments while I took a few bites of my breakfast.
Finally, I looked over at Mom and asked, “Do I have to go home?” Mom smiled and took my hand. She said, “No Honey. Don’t be silly. You have a contract as a solo act. Mr. Winters thinks you’ll still be around a long time. But he does have a lot of time and money invested in the band, and he feels you’re the main draw for the fans.” “There are nothing Winters can say that will make me change my mind, Mom!” John announced loudly in the elevator as we rode to the floor where Mr. Winters’ office is located.
Fritz had tagged along with John. April, Juan, and Sammy elected not to come. The doors slid open and as we exited the elevator Mom said, “He has a vested interest in the success of the band, John. He wants to make sure you’re aware of the impact on the business end.” John looked back at me and said, “You always take up for Mike, don’t you?
I appreciate the help he gave me in the band’s success. But Mom, we need a real girl in the band.” Fritz said from behind, “He’s right, Mrs. G. Michelle, Mike is a great singer and all, but he can’t really wear any sexy outfits to really rock out on the stage. Hell, he’s only fourteen! April is nineteen.” We stopped outside Mr. Winters’ office door. John said, “That’s right. And, April isn’t in the tabloid press every day like some people I know.” He glanced back at me. Mom opened the door and said, “Well, let’s see what he has to say, shall we?”
Mr. Winters had kept us waiting for almost twenty minutes before the secretary finally told us we could go in. As we filed into the room, Mr. Winters, who leaned back against the front of his desk, motioned for us to take seats. Folding his arms and looking at John, Mr. Winters said, “I’ll get straight to the point. Mr. Gray, have you taken leave of your senses?
Why on Earth would you possibly want to replace one of the major reasons for your band’s success?” John shifted uneasily in his chair, his bravado fading under Mr. Winters’ intense stare. “Well, um, uh, it is my band. I never wanted Mike to be there anyway. I admit that he helped some in launching the band, but that’s passed. Honestly, we need a more adult singer.
And a real girl.” Fritz elbowed John and said, “Someone who’s really sexy and with big boobs, man!” He laughed. Mr. Winters's sudden glare cut Fritz’s laugh short. Pointing at me, he said, “Michelle has tremendous potential for success as a solo artist. I’m not so sure the same can be said for you if you replace her.” “I don’t see a problem” John started to say. Mr. Winters cut him off saying, “Have you ever considered the business side of this decision?” John shrugged. Mr. Winters continued, “There’s a lot of promotional material we’ll have to redo.
Do we scrap the sessions we’ve recorded for your next CD and re-record them with this new girl? This will cut into the studio’s bottom line and trust me; the execs won’t exactly be thrilled.” “Details Mr. Winters,” said John. “Details. That’s what you’re here for.” Mr. Winters shot John a withering glance that practically shouted “you insignificant little toad.” Instead, Mr. Winters calmly said, “I can’t stop you from replacing Michelle.
I advise strongly against it, though.” Scowling, John folded his arms and said, “Duly noted.” Turning back towards his desk, Mr. Winters picked up what appeared to be a newspaper. He said, “You might want to read this article before making any lasting decisions.” He tossed John the paper. John caught the paper and looked at the article that had a big circle drawn around it.
After reading for a few minutes, he passed the paper over to Mom. He said, “That’s just one guy’s opinion. And besides, he didn’t say April was bad.” I took the paper from Mom’s hand and looked at the article. It was a review of the concert that I had missed. John Gray’s Band held their first concert to a packed auditorium since releasing their self-titled CD last month.
Disappointing many fans was the absence of the beautiful and talented Michelle Grayson, who couldn’t perform due to injuries from an accident earlier that day. A studio singer, April O’Conner took Ms. Grayson’s place for the concert. The band played songs from their CD as well as covers of other bands’ recent top hits to a cheering crowd that filled the auditorium. A few factors, however, caused the concert to be less than what most fans expected.
With the notable exception of Juan’s excellent performance on the drums which was mostly responsible for keeping the band together, the overall performance was more reminiscent of your neighbor’s kid’s garage band than a group of professional musicians. While there certainly was a lot of energy on the stage, and adequate vocals, that magic spark that you can sense on their CD was missing. And Gray’s obvious fawning over his substitute female vocal led to him tripping on the stage a few times and forgetting his own lyrics on more than one occasion.
And while O’Conner’s performance was competent, she lacked the stage presence and vocal strength to fill Michelle Grayson’s shoes. The article went on for a few more paragraphs, but I stopped reading to listen to the heated conversation between John and Mr. Winters. “aware that O’Conner’s voice appears on many of my other client's CDs,” Mr. Winters sighed. “She’s an excellent background vocal.” “She’ll work out!” John asserted. “She has everything we need to move forward as a band.
he has talent, she’s beautiful, and she brings a sex appeal that Mike just can’t deliver.” Mr. Winters chucked and said, “Odd then, that those posters of Michelle alone are selling faster than posters of the band as a whole. She has more references in teen magazines as well.” Frowning John said, “I’ll grant you that Mike has a way of getting in the news, but you can’t build a career on sex scandals with movie stars.
“You know, Mr. Winters,” John continued, leaning forward in his chair and suddenly looking very earnest. “I’m really not comfortable seeing my brother dressed up as a girl, hawking everything from lipstick to tampons. And he never even looked at guys before. This whole girl thing is messing up his mind. I’m trying to help him get back to normal. “Don’t you know that he hates having to dress up as a girl?
I’m ashamed to say I forced him to do so just so we could get a record deal, but he hated it and I made him do it.” John turned towards me and said, “I don’t know what I was thinking, Mike, but it’s my fault and I’m truly sorry. I’m just trying to help you get back to normal because I know how much you hate having to dress up like this.” Bristling, I jumped up and shouted, “Bullshit! You never wanted me in the band! It was the other guys who begged you to let me join.
And yes, at first, I hated having to dress like this. But I but now I” My anger slipped away as I looked over at Mom. “But now, this is who I am.”I said quietly, looking intently at John. “There is no Mike anymore. I’m Michelle. In fact…” I swallowed audibly. “In fact… I… um… I’m going to get a sex change.”
You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone except Mr. Winters sat there with their mouths gaping open. Mom looked at me and said hesitantly, “Honey, what are you saying?” I sat back down and said, “We’ve discussed this before, Mom. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought lately.” John seemed almost angry as he said, “Mike! That’s just crazy!
We’ve been over this before! Just because you don’t have balls doesn’t mean you’re a girl! You just need to get away from here. Go back home, relax and get in touch with who you really are.” “This is who I really am!”I shouted. More quietly I said, “I can never be fully one or the other, but I feel that as a girl I’m closer to being whole.” As tears began to well up in my eyes I sat back down next to Mom. “Don’t you get it?”
My whole body shook as I began to cry uncontrollably. “Don’t you understand? This is the first time in years I’ve actually been happy!” I buried my face in Mom’s blouse as I cried. “I’m sorry,” said John. “But you don’t have to get a sex change, Mike! Mom, tell him! He can’t make that kind of decision!” Mr. Winters said, “If not her, who can?
She knows who she is, John, and what she needs to do to be successful – better than you, apparently.” John stood up suddenly and pointed a finger accusingly at Mr. Winters. “You! You put these ideas in his head! You see him as potential income, not as a person!” Casually leaning back on his desk, Mr. Winters calmly said, “I see a talented young woman with great potential professionally as well as personally. Like I said, she understands what she needs to do to be a success.
Do you?” “Yes, I do!” John asserted. “We need a real female with real sex appeal. I really don’t want our fan base to be a bunch of thirteen-year-old girls and pedophiles.” Folding his arms, Mr. Winters said, “Well, both those groups buy CDs. Have you not been reading any of the statements we’ve sent you? Your band appeals to a broad demographic. Older teens really like your sound and you’re also Mom approved.
That’s rare and your sales figures show it. Without Michelle, you’ll probably lose the Mom vote which also costs you that thirteen-year-old girl market. Which is huge, by the way.” John took a step towards Mr. Winters. With a hint of anger in his voice, he said, “I’m not changing my mind! April stays. And you’re not turning my little brother into a girl.” Bowing his head slightly, Mr. Winters said, “As you wish, John. I think it’s a mistake, but we’ll see.
Keep in mind that if this decision turns into a train wreck, I will sever our business relationship.” John turned to leave the office. Fritz stood and started to leave, too. Clinging to Mom, I cried, “John! Please don’t kick me out of the band! Please!” Turning towards me John said, “Sorry Mike. I’ve made my decision and I’m sticking to it. And if I have any say, you’re not getting a sex change!” Shaking I stood up and cried, “You don’t have a say!
I’m a girl John! I’m a girl! You don’t care about me! You just don’t want more guilt because of what you did to me! Yes, John. I’m a girl because of you.” John started to say something, but instead, turned and walked out of the office with Fritz close behind. I collapsed back on the couch and cried as Mom held me close. “No, sorry,” Mr. Winters shook his head, “you can’t have the surgery until you’re eighteen. But the shrink I’m going to send you to will be able to provide you with hormones.
He’s very discreet and I don’t think he’s always inside the law, but he’s good and he can get you what you need and monitor you. In a few years, we’ll make a quiet trip to Thailand.” In a small voice, I said, “Thanks.” “Yes, thank you, Mr. Winters,” Mom said. “I can already sense the relief in my daughter at her decision. I know this is the right thing for her.” Mr. Winters smiled and said, “Good. I’ll make all the arrangements.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” “Yes, Tommy,” I said into the phone. “I’m okay.” “Well, I just read about the change in the band. Did you want to leave?” Tommy asked. I hesitated a second. I was both shocked and thrilled that Tommy had called. It was the first time I’d heard from him since he found out about me. I finally said, “No. It was a total surprise to me.
I begged John not to replace me, but his mind is pretty made up.” “I’m really sorry, Michelle,” Tommy said sincerely. “You must be devastated!” “Yeah, the first few days after the change I was pretty depressed.” “You should have called me.” Just a hint of acid bubbled up in my voice as I said, “I thought you weren’t talking to me anymore.“ There was an awkward silence for a few moments. “Look, I was angry. I mean, honestly, can you blame me?
It’s quite a shock to find out that the girl you’re in love with is actually uh an uh guy.” I hesitated a second and then said, “Look, it’s not my fault I was born that way, okay? Thanks for calling and asking about me, Tommy.” “Don’t hang up! I know that tone. I’m sorry I brought that up.” “Was there anything else?”I asked. For several seconds there was silence on the other end of the phone. “Goodbye, Tommy.” I hung up the phone. It rang a few seconds later, but I didn’t answer it.
“What’s that big envelope, Mom?” Mom walked into the living room after retrieving the mail. “I don’t know. Let me open it first. It’s from Mr. Winters.” Mom sat on the couch next to me and opened the large manila envelope. She pulled out several sheets of paper held together with a paper clip. She studied the first page a minute, and then glanced at each of the other sheets before handing the bundle to me.
“It’s the band’s and your appearance schedule.”As I glanced through it, Mom continued, “The band has one more local engagement before starting the summer tour.” I said, “Geez. There are a lot of small venues here.” “We’re a new band. What do you expect?” I frowned and said, “We’re not a ‘we’ anymore, Mom.” “Don’t you want to go on the tour though?” “Not really. I have some appearances scheduled for the same time period.” I said. “But not on the same days as the concerts.” “What are you saying, Mom?
That you want me to go along and be tortured every day, knowing I can’t sing with the band?” I folded my arms and glared at the floor. “You have your solo songs, Honey. April can’t take those. Those are entirely yours. It’s even in her contract.” I just sat there silently for a minute or two. Ignoring her comment, I grunted a laugh and picked up one of several tabloid newspapers I had been looking at. “Look at this Mom. Look at the problems John continues to cause me!
Look at what this crap says!”I waved the newspaper in front of Mom. I ran my finger under the text as I said, “‘According to sources close to the band, Michelle was dumped because she wouldn’t have sex with band leader John.’ Sex?! He’s my brother! And, and our cover story says we’re cousins, for cryin’ out loud!” Mom shook her head as she scanned the article. Frowning she said, “Well, Honey, nobody believes these tabloids. Don’t worry about it.” “You’re going to make me go, aren’t you?” Mom just stared at me for a moment before saying, “I think you should. You have to promote yourself, too.”
John was furious. But then, John had been furious since the last concert before the tour started when the crowd chanted “Michelle, Michelle” John had been fit to be tied. The reviews weren’t that good, and ticket sales for the tour have been slow. We just got back to our hotel in Phoenix, and we all gathered in John’s and Fritz’s room. April, at Mom’s insistence, was staying in our room.
Exhausted, we all plopped down in either a chair or a bed. No one said a word for several minutes. Finally, April, with a faraway look in her eyes said quietly, “I should just go home. They don’t want me.” John sat up straighter and said, “That’s bullshit! Sorry, Mom. But that’s crap April. They’re just not used to you yet. Just give it time.” April shook her head and said, “John, are you not paying any attention? Didn’t you notice the reaction when Michelle came out for her songs?” “Well, next tour we leave Michelle behind.
She’s just dragging us down.” Knitting her brow, April said, “John, she’s right here in the room with us. You shouldn’t talk like that.” John scowled at me and said, “Well, it’s true.” I stood up and started towards the door. “It’s okay, April. I’m used to it. John is still pissed that his band would never have made it if it wasn’t for me.” Mom stood up and said in a stern voice, “John, will you please stop it? She worked hard for your benefit and this is how you reward her?” She turned to follow me to the door. John looked sheepish for a moment. He then looked frustrated as he said, “She was temporary. We all agreed from the start she was temporary.” Mom and I left without saying another word.
“Aren’t you coming?” John asked as I just stood outside the tour bus and waved “Mr. Winters has sent his private jet to take me back to Los Angeles.” I said. “Oh, that’s right. Little Miss Popular yet again has some other little award show to go to. You can’t ride on the bus with us,” John said with heavy sarcasm. “You don’t want me along anyway!”I exclaimed, frustrated. “Yes, I’m a presenter and a nominee at the Kid’s Choice Awards this afternoon, and tonight I’m in that charity benefit concert.
I’ll catch up with you guys tomorrow in Denver.” “Well, I think you should have to ride in that stinky, crowded bus with us, and you also get to miss out again on helping get everything set up.”John scowled. “All you have to do is arrive on time to walk out in front of all your adoring fans.” “I didn’t set the schedule, John,” I said, feeling anger well up inside me. “Just go. Go get your award.
You know you’re going to win one. You always do. Just as you do, remember all of us crammed into that bus.” John spun around and entered the bus. Mom waved from one of the windows. In fact, only Mom, Sammy, and Juan waved at me as the bus pulled slowly away. I turned around and walked back to the hotel to call a cab to go take me to the airport.
The music ended for my final song at the benefit concert. With the spotlight shining on me, I couldn’t see the audience, but I could sure hear them! The applause and cheering were tremendous. I felt exhilarated, humbled, and undeserving all at the same time. How had I gotten here? How had I gone from being a nobody boy with virtually no future to standing here before this wild applause? As I bowed, I saw my very short skirt, hose, and high heels.
I smiled at myself as I reflected on just a few months ago; I wouldn’t have been caught dead dressed like this. Now it was second nature and dressing any way else felt alien. I waved and blew some kisses out to the audience, and then I turned and hurried off the stage. I felt really happy. As soon as I went behind the curtains, I stopped in surprise. There was Tommy with a weak, hesitant smile on his face. He seemed agitated about something.
I thought, “God, I don’t need this right now!” “Great show,” said Tommy as I approached him. “Thanks. I’m glad you liked it.” I said as I continued to walk past him. “Michelle waits,” said Tommy as he reached out a hand for my arm. I moved my arm out of his reach and said, “I don’t have a lot of time, Tommy. I need to go.”I turned my back to him and continued walking. “Your mother called.” I stopped and turned back towards him. “My mother?” Tommy walked slowly up to me. He started to say something, looked away, swallowed hard, and said, “There’s been a terrible accident.”
