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Not My Body - Chapter 2
🕑 Added 2024-01-24 14:42:27 +0000 UTCSo there I was, struggling. Alone and frightened clutching my wallet in one hand and on the street at that. I thought of taking the car at first but figured she'd just call the police on me. Truthfully I had more confidence convincing my wife of my little problem than the police!
I wandered around town deep in thought, trying to decide what my next move might be. In stories I had once read of such people, they usually went into stip dancing or prostitution. Neither of these options was an option for me, and yet returning to my old way of living seemed hopeless. First I had to find a warm place to sleep at night. I had seen many homeless people sleeping under trees and such, but that life was not one for me. Instead, I took my place hiding out at the library.
I had always been fond of books and took the time at night after the guards left to read. One of the books I read told about a young psychologist who went into school counseling. Seeing the potential in such a plan, I decided, after much thought, to try my hand at counseling at school.
Sitting in the waiting room for my appointment, I peered down at the application. I had decided already to use my old home address when filling this out but had not decided on a name. Since my real name had been Martin, I decided on a fancier feminine name and wrote down: "Ms. Maxine Jacobs."
I had known a classmate by that name in case anyone wanted to peer into any records. At last, it was my turn and I was ushered into the interview room.
I won't bore you with details.
The interview was a success!
The superintendent was highly impressed with me and my credentials, though I believe that my body helped out in the interview. I took the job the next day and moved into my new apartment the following day. The task of furnishing and clothing myself overwhelmed me. Sitting on my floor, a neighbor of mine approached and introduced herself.
"Hello.
My name is Lisa."
A beautiful woman of thirty with eyes of blue and mousy brown hair came and greeted me. Had I been the man I once was, I would have probably been openly attracted to her, as I now find myself secretly attracted.
"My name is Marti, I mean, Maxine. Maxine Jacobs."
"What brings you to this area, Maxine?"
She inquired.
"Well, I just got a divorce. Messy subject. I don't really want to go into it."
"Really? Me too, though my reasons are a bit stranger than most. Say, you seem to require some assistance. Are you new around here? "
"Sorta...new," I said.
"Well, then. It is my duty as a neighbor and friend to assist you in your new life.
First, we need some furniture."
"No, first I need some clothes."
I interrupted.
"Clothes, huh? We can do something with clothes. Let's get you a whole new wardrobe. You can't be seen in public wearing that?!"
With that, Lisa led me around town and across town to every clothing store in the county. I never knew or understood how difficult buying clothes was for women.
I told Lisa my husband had done everything for me, which gave her permission to baby me. Just the treatment I needed. Soon I was rolling with a few new professional outfits, some homely clothes, and a really nice dress to go on the town with.
"There...that oughta do it for you."
Next Lisa led me around the furniture stores and for a little less than a hundred dollars bought me my essentials. I insisted on paying for it, but Lisa would not give in.
"I have to treat my new neighbors right," she told me. At the end of the day, I had a complete wardrobe and a furnished apartment.
Life went well until one fateful day. All women remember their first period, but few remember their second as I do. Sitting at my new desk, I began to feel a warm feeling move down from my crotch and down my legs. Looking down I saw a faint stream of blood flowing into my shoe.
"Damn, my period! " I said to myself and tried to cautiously make my way to the bathroom. My stealth failed me and I was ambushed by the principal as he was returning to his office.
"Maxine, I have some questions for you."
"Not now sir," I pleaded as I ran to the bathroom.
"Maxine are you okay," I heard him shout back. Desperate now and embarrassed I walked into the bathroom and sat down in a stall. Pulling down my pants, I noticed a large red stain on my panties, and the trail of blood grew wider. I tried to clean it up with toilet paper, but it just didn't work. Then the pains began again. The same stomach pains that I had had during my transformation continued to haunt me as I sat on the toilet.
Needless to say, I spent the rest of that day and into the night sitting on the toilet. Only when I was sure no one could see me did I venture out and into my car. My dress was ruined as were my panties. I showered myself off, holding my stomach the whole time. The pains ached but were nothing like I had felt before. Rolling some toilet paper up in a large ball, I laid down and slept through the night.
The next morning I awoke to another ruined pair of panties. I used to think that periods only lasted a little while, but mine seemed to last forever. I ended up just sitting on the toilet, wiping myself off, and frequently showering.
I took four days off from work and went through almost 50 rolls of toilet paper before my ordeal was through. It wasn't until a week later that I overheard in the bathroom the correct method for dealing with one's period. The next day I bought a box of pads and kept one in my panties at all times!
A month later, while having lunch with Lisa, I was advised to begin dating again.
"Maxie, you need to start at it again," Lisa told me.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you can't let this past guy run your life forever. You need to start dating again. You know, seeing other guys. Maybe that will get your mind off of him and bring you back to reality."
In the two months or so since my transformation, I had not thought much about dating, and this was the first time that Lisa had brought it up.
"Sure, Lisa.
What should I do?
"Lisa rolled her eyes.
"Well, first get that dress you bought the other day".
So, per Lisa's suggestion, I proceeded to go out that weekend to the local single bar. Walking into the bar, I saw the reaction my dress had on the men. Eyes rose up and down my body. I heard whistles behind me and knew what they meant and signaled. I was hot meat here, and I'd better be careful. Walking up to the bartender, I ordered a drink. I looked around, judging which of these men would ask me out. Off to my right, I heard a voice.
"Excuse me, lady, but I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are!"
"Thank you," I responded.
"Might I buy you a drink?"
"Why,, of course," I said, enjoying this new company. The man was average height, tall, broad-shouldered, and dressed well. He looked like a man I would have hung out with in college. After a few minutes of chit-chat, he said, "Why don't we leave this place and go to my place? It's, quieter, if you know what I mean."
"Sure, I'd love to," I said, my knees now knocking together. I understood what he must be feeling, the lucky devil. I was a prize for a man like him. He could parade me around and have the guys envying him for years to come. But tonight it was sex. Just plain sex is what he wanted. No relationship yet, broad. Just come here and show me a good time. Then later I might call you...might that be?
I really didn't care much. I was trying the acceptance rule I had always lived with. If this is the body in which I find myself, I had just better get used to it, right. Enjoy the sensations while they last now. The man, Tom, took me up to his room. He had a nice suite with a wet bar and kitchen attached.
"Welcome to my pad," he said.
"Can I interest you in a drink?"
"No thanks," I said as my anxiety mounted once more.
"So," he said, approaching me.
"Can I release you from your prison?"
"Prison?"
"Your clothes, madame," he said as he began to kiss my neck.
"Oh, my clothes."
A pit had begun to form in my stomach as I realized what it was this man said: sex! I had always wondered how women could love men the way they do. It seemed so disgusting to me, and it was this disgust that was forming the pit in my stomach. Tom continued to kiss my neck, now running his hands down my back and on my buttocks. I felt a tightness grow in my crotch and a moistness soak my pants. Still, my brain yelled back at me.
"Martin! Yo! Martin! You're male, Martin. What are you doing with this man, then? "His hands began to squeeze my buttocks, slowly at first and then more firmly as his lips reached down on my chest. With his tongue, he worked his way down until he touched my breasts, first one and then the other. The moistness grew in my pants, and a faint moan proceeded from my lips.
"Tom, stop! I don't want to do this anymore. Tom, please."
I pleaded with him. If I were in his shoes, I would not have stopped either for the voice I used was one of passion and abandon. It encouraged Tom, and he laid me down on the floor, now kissing and sucking my breasts. I closed my eyes, the feelings overwhelming me. Then as I was about to accept, the feelings stopped. I opened my eyes and saw Tom unbuckling his belt.
"Now, my dear. Why don't you take a little of your own action? "
"What do you mean," I said nervously.
"Do what you do best," he said now lying naked on the floor beside me. I turned around and began kissing his chest. The moistness in my panties stopped and I felt a sick feeling begin to build in my stomach again. Kissing his chest, I moved down his neck and kissed his mouth.
"You missed a part," he said, stopping me.
Looking down I understood exactly what he meant. Moving down to his penis, I kissed the head at first and then massage the shaft. The look on Tom's face showed his approval, but I knew exactly what he was feeling. Taking the head in my mouth, I licked the top gently. I was about to stop when Tom thrust himself in my mouth. My throat gagged as my mouth closed over his penis. Rocking his body and holding my head down, he moved himself in and out of me until at last, at fucking last, he came inside my mouth.
Thick mucus filled my mouth as I tried to spit it out. Unfortunately, because of his hands on my head and his rocking motion, most of it went down my throat. I coughed and gagged, struggling from his grip.
Pulling my clothes up, I made my way to the door.
"Where are you going, darling," he said, jumping up.
"I haven't pleased you yet."
"There will be no more pleasure for either of us now, Tom. Goodbye! "Despite Tom's cries to stop, I ran down and out of the building, hitched a cab, and made my way back to the apartment. There on the bed, I cried myself to sleep. I felt so dirty and so used. I hated how that man looked and the way he acted. I was never attracted to a man before, because I wasn't a woman!
I was a man, damnit! I had always been a man, and I would forever be a man despite what this body told the world! Weeping loudly, I awoke my neighbor, Lisa, from her slumber across the hall. Knocking, she opened the door and ran to my side.
"What's wrong Maxine?" she said, holding my head.
"I hate men! "I cried on her shoulder.
"I hate them, I tell you!"
"Shh...I know, dear. I know. Things will work out eventually."
I felt so secure in her arms. I could have sat there forever, and we did sit together most of the night, holding each other.
The next day, Lisa would not let me out of my sight. Except for work, we never left each other's side. I wanted to stay inside and lament all day, but Lisa insisted on taking us both out shopping. She said that a little money spending would be best for both of us. Frankly, I was ready to just call it give up, but she insisted on living it out.
"I've gone through worse in my life," she told me.
"You'll live through it."
The next two weeks were wonderful with Lisa. We hung out together, watched movies, played games, and had a grand time. We both seemed to like the same movies and enjoy the same activities together and it wasn't long until the two of us became inseparable friends. It was that time that Lisa suggested we move in together.
"Just think," she told me.
"We could save on rent!
Besides, the two of us have been living together since you moved in. It's just been unofficial."
So we moved in together. Frankly, I never thought anything of it. We were just two women who were sharing the same room, the same life, and the same bed. It never really dawned on me until Lisa suggested sharing one bed. Then I thought that something was up.
"Let's clear out my bed and put a dresser here," she said.
"Yeah, but where will you sleep?" I said, curiously.
"With you, of course," she replied, a matter of fact.
"With me? "
"Sure! "
So we shared beds as well. She had her side and I had mine. It did clear up space in the room and the money we made on her bed gave us the money to buy a nice new dresser.
It was one night in October, nearly six months after my transformation, that things started to get a bit weird. Maybe it was the wine we drank that night or the romantic movie we watched together, but lying on the bed with Lisa, I felt a strange feeling running up and down my leg. Looking down, I saw Lisa running her fingers up and down my leg while her eyes remained fashioned on the television. Shrugging to myself, I looked back at the screen. The hand on my leg soon moved up my leg and began to massage my calves.
A faint moisture began to build in my panties and I closed my eyes to savor the feeling.
"What are you doing, Lisa," I asked her.
"Nothing, darling. Just relax."
Nothing soon became something as she began to run her hand up and down my buttline. The moisture really began to build now and I could tell that Lisa was no longer paying much attention to the movie. Moving her hand, slowly, she moved around to the front of my panties on which I was laying and began to touch my vagina, massaging my clitoris, and then running her hand down into my vagina. I turned around, the feeling getting too great.
Lisa's face shone brightly as she etched her back down toward me and started kissing me. This kiss broke my resistance.
All the identity that I had built up in the last few months suddenly disappeared. I was now male, making love at last to a beautiful woman! Taking her tongue in my mouth, I began to kiss hard and passionately.
Lisa moaned in response, her body now experiencing the willingness of my own. Turning her around and laying on top of her, I started to take off her top while still kissing her lips. Kissing down her neck, I moved my own head down onto each one of her breasts.
Her nipples reacted to my touch and my tongue as I gently massaged each and every one of them. Then, at just the right time, I moved my head down her stomach. Unbuckling her pants and stripping her of her panties, I gently touched her crotch and made my entrance secure.
Just as I was unbuckling my own pants, something occurred to me. I paused and looked down. My mind had been remembering how I made love as a man and had forgotten my new body was not male but female. Curiously I paused and looked down at her. Lisa took this opportunity. Grabbing my shoulders, she turned us around and sat on top of me. Unbuttoning him as I had her she moved down my neck and took my breasts in her fingers.
"How I shall show you how women make love," she said. Taking my breasts in her hand, she gently squeezed and sucked first one and then the other of them. My panties grew wetter by the minute.
Deep in my mind, though, something happened. A new realization occurred to me. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be!
This realization was soon quelled by a new growing feeling in my crotch. Looking down, I could see Lisa's head peeking out from my crotch. Her tongue grazed in and around my vagina and clitoris, making me moan loud and long.
A feeling grew within me, a strong feeling unlike the one I had ever experienced before. Lisa continued to throw herself into me, first her fingers and then her tongue. Finally, she built up a rhythm using both her tongue and her thumb, one rubbing my clitoris while the other was embedded deep within my vagina. The feeling built and built until I could not hold it any longer. With high and loud moans I felt my whole body tense up and then release. Lisa did not give up her actions though. With even more abandonment, she continued as I continued.
Eventually, Lisa stopped her actions, but I continued. The pulsing in my vagina was something entirely new to me. Looking over at her, I felt nothing but hunger and lust for her. Pushing her down, I did the same thing she did to me, pushing my tongue far into her vagina. It took her just a few minutes to achieve what must have been a mindblowing orgasm. She released her juices all over my face and still, I continued. Finally, she pulled my head off and began to kiss me feverishly.
Lust still grew within me as I kissed her neck and breasts once more.
Turning around, she faced my feet and I her feet. Then together, we continued to please each other.
Over and over again we both came, sometimes with our fingers inside each other, sometimes with our tongues inside. In either case, we experienced many orgasms that night until we finally fell asleep, our fingers still embedded in one another.
Now, this could be the happy end to the story, if I had not woken up the next morning. At six o'clock I awoke, still cradled naked beside Lisa. Turning over I looked at the clock and peered in the mirror. There, before me, lay two lesbians naked together after a wild night of sex. I stood up quickly, my mind revolting at this new thought.
I couldn't have become a lesbian! After all this time counseling gay and lesbian people, I had become what I most feared and hated. There was only one thing to do now. Move out and find some sanctity somewhere else.
Thankfully Lisa is a deep sleeper and slept through the morning.
I imagine she awoke and cried. You see, I left her a note trying to explain my point but hoping not to disturb her too much. You see, I had grown to love her. But being a woman, it was wrong to love another woman. I had to either remain celebrate or find a man who would love and take care of me.
Knowing my own revulsion with men, I knew I would remain celebrated for the rest of my life.
So I began to dive into my job more. I had become quite good at counseling and school counseling was better yet. I told young men to grow up and young women to stay young. I was getting pretty good at my job until one young man came into my office.
He complained about not fitting in and asked for my advice.
I gave him my usual speech about accepting his role in life. Then he turned at me and grinned.
"Say, you're the man my daddy made into a sissy, aren't you?!
We were wondering where you had gone!"
"I don't know what you're talking about," I exclaimed.
"I believe you do! I thought you looked too pretty for your own good! I'll be seeing you around, mister."
"After that kid left, I decided that for the first time in my life, I needed a shrink. Things had gotten too strange. So I came here."
"I see, Now tell me again: who do you think you are?"
The End.
Comments
Brianna Demonet
I agree, I was sorry to hear about the doctor's homophobia. I would think any therapist would be a bit more open-minded. Too bad it's conversion therapy.
Annah Rourke
I liked it but talk about depressing - ugh
