HLCRiseofthefirstnecromancer
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Chapter 61
🕑 Added 2023-05-01 02:00:02 +0000 UTCChapter 61
“That pretty much concludes the tour of the town.” Drew said, gesturing with his hand.
“Impressive. Your people have done well for themselves despite being newly integrated. The food stall was delicious as well. What did you say that style of cuisine was called?” Sindra asked.
“Oh, it’s just barbecue. It’s fairly common down here.” Drew explained.
“Then why did the sign say ‘BBQ’, is that shortened?” She asked.
“Yeah, basically. It’s the same thing. You really seemed to enjoy those pork ribs.” Drew mentioned.
“Yes! The meat was so tender, it just fell off the bone and melted in my mouth. The flavor was truly unique as well.” Sindra nodded happily.
“That’s the sign of good ribs. They slowly smoke them for twelve to sixteen hours. Just wait until our harvest from the farms comes in, we’ll have a lot of fun food for you and your sisters to try out while you’re here with us.” Drew said. He was excited for the harvest to finish up as well, even though he wouldn’t be present by the time it was complete. He was due to leave in just an hour or two.
“I can’t wait! After living for a couple thousand years, having new types of food really is something to look forward to.” Sindra replied.
“Several… thousand?” Drew gasped, mouth slightly ajar.
“I know, right? Although my sisters say I don’t look a day over eight hundred. I guess I have good genes.” She chuckled.
“...Yeah… good genes.” Drew managed to force out.
“Since the tour is finished, you should check on the advertisement you placed for the merchant shop.” Sindra commented.
“It’s only been two hours, that isn’t enough time to get any replies, right?” Drew asked.
“Oh, I believe you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Just pull up your settlement menu to check it out.” Sindra said with a smile.
Drew shrugged, and mentally pulled up the menu, flipping through the various pages. Now that the [Pillar of Civilization] was established and fully operational, he could interact with the settlement information from anywhere within Sanctuary’s territorial limits. He pulled up the advertisement inbox.
Inbox (99999999)
“Uhhhh… I think we’ve got a ton of spam mail or something?” Drew asked Sindra while sharing the screen.
“Nope. That’s just the advertisement reply inbox. It looks perfectly fine to me.” Sindra replied.
“But it says there's like… almost one hundred million replies. That can’t be right, can it?” Drew asked. Clearly something was broken.
“The Multiverse is a big place. We could wait longer for more replies, but I think you’ll find plenty of options to choose from in your inbox.” She shrugged.
“You’re joking right? The inbox is just broken or something.” Drew said, trying to rationalize the situation.
“The System doesn’t ‘break’. The advertisement was just super effective.” Sindra explained.
“The fuck… how am I supposed to go through all those replies?! I’ll be stuck sorting through options for weeks!” Drew asked in desperation.
“Oh, just filter them. Here, just pull a random reply up.” Sindra gestured.
Drew acquiesced, pulling up the first reply in the inbox.
Company: Drungar’s Emporium
Faction Ties: Grozz’s Warband, Ultra-dim Void Palace, Technonaut Empire, …
Company Quality Assessment: D Grade
Primary Workforce: Goblinoid
Company Offer:
0.05% Planetary Profit Share
1 Free Assassination Service
1 Free Coupon for “Goblin-Stuff”
1 Free E Grade Incendiary Bomb (Model: Nuka-Bitch) per decade
1 “Complimentary” Fruit Basket
“Uhh… What the hell am I looking at here?” Drew asked, slightly flabbergasted. He swiped the screen over to Sindra.
Sindra’s left eyebrow raised slightly while reading the offer.
“Goblins… disgusting creatures. This is a terrible offer, not that I’m surprised.” Sindra practically spit the words.
“Would you care to explain it to this ignorant native, please.” Drew asked, a bit lost for words.
“It’s pretty much what it says. They’re offering you a… how do you say… shit-tastic profit share, and it’s only based on company profit on your planet, which basically means they’d get all the profit from your lucrative exports. Additionally, their offer includes certain ‘services’, and a pretty terrible once a decade bomb. It’s an awful deal, they must think that they’re dealing with newly integrated idio… uninformed people.” Sindra said, coughing at the end.
“Right… it didn’t sound that great. The fruit basket kinda gave it away. Although, I have to ask… what’s ‘Goblin-Stuff’?” Drew asked.
“Ehem, I believe it’s an… invitation to partake in carnal activities… knowing their race, I’d say it’s likely to include every company employee at your branch location.” Sindra said in a low voice, with a slight blush on her cheeks.
“Carnel… oh. OH! Ew. No, nope. Trashing that offer right now.” Drew said, mentally smashing the trash icon. If he could have set it on fire, he would have done that as well, alas, The System lacked that functionality.
“Yes, I don’t blame you. I’m glad their offer was bad, you wouldn’t want a trash heap of a shop like that on your planet.” Sindra said.
“It said they had several faction ties, so obviously some people like them, right?” Drew asked, truly curious.
“No, most people do not like Goblins. I’d say it’s more likely their faction ties were desperate, or they just wanted to offer their citizens multiple options. Competition can be good sometimes.” Sindra explained.
“Alright, so how do I use the filter function, and what values do you recommend for it?” Drew asked.
“Hmm… I suppose that depends on what your goals are. As you can see, many companies are interested in opening a branch here, so there’s several different options you could go with.” Sindra thought out loud.
“Okay, what would some examples be?” Drew asked.
“Well, an example would be if you have a race preference. Such as no Goblins, or if you’d prefer a specific race like dwarves or elves. As an example, would it be an issue if the primary merchant’s race normally had humans or other sentient beings in their diets. Besides stuff like that, there’s the offers themselves.” Sindra explained, gesturing with her hand.
“Uh… no. I don’t want anyone here that eats people. That’s fucking gross, and wrong.” Drew said, his stomach turned slightly.
“Understandable. I’d recommend you stay away from Orcs, Vampires, Dragons…” Sindra began.
“Okay, okay. Here, just show me what you’d recommend.” Drew said, sharing access to the filter screen with Sindra.
Drew didn’t have all day to search through everything, and he knew very little about the Multiverse and the beings that inhabited it. He’d love to learn more, but he needed to leave soon, and he wanted to get the Shop up and running before he left. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be gone for, but the Mana Crystal Mine, and processing workshop would have payments due soon, and without the income from selling the processed crystals, he’d be in a ton of debt.
In all honesty, he didn’t have a racial preference, but at the same time he didn’t want beings that ate people nearby. Maybe he was closed-minded, but that just didn’t sit right with him. As long as the deal was fair, and the merchant was easy to work with, then he’d be happy.
“Here are the filters I’d recommend.” Sindra said, swiping the menu over to him.
Drew took a glance at the options, and everything looked decent. But what did he know? He was just a dumb hillbilly compared to the rest of the cosmos. Sindra had earned his trust however, and he knew The Lady’s goal was to protect her investment in him and the settlement. He decided to just run with Sindra’s suggestions and waited for the results to form in the menu.
“It looks like I have about fifty choices with the filters you suggested. I guess that’s pretty good compared to the almost hundred million I had prior.” Drew said, looking through the options.
“Yes that is good, the filters I suggested for the offers would be considered lucrative, and would exclude any merchants that weren’t seriously interested in investing in the future of this planet. Fifty is still a few more than I expected though, even with the filters. Would you like some assistance in making a selection?” Sindra asked.
“Yes, please. If this shop is going to be a lifeline to Sanctuary, and New Earth, I’d like to know a little more about each option and race.” Drew nodded his head, happy to have his friend’s help.
“Sure, I’d be happy to help. I cannot promise I will know everyone on this list, but I should know a few of them, let me take a look at what you’re working with.” Sindra said.
***********************************************************************
“Dad, are you sure that was a good choice?” Junior asked.
Junior sat in his father’s office at company headquarters. His family had been running the Arlna Consortium for over thirty thousand years. His great, great grandfather had acquired a mercantile license from a System run event all those years ago. The company had been passed down from father to son over the generations, and in a few hundred years, it would likely be in his hands when his dad finally retired.
The company had been built on a foundation of trust, openness, and fair business dealings. Overall, Arlna Consortium was doing fairly well from a business standpoint, but they were struggling to expand in recent millenia. It was easier to say that the company had become somewhat stangnet in that regard, although it wasn’t his family’s fault. No, it was the rampant racism that had been targeted towards their species.
Originally, there was never any hatred towards their race, but then a targeted misinformation campaign had been broadcast across the cosmos. Most of his people believed the racist campaign had been funded by their long-time rivals, The Keefler Elves. Junior didn’t care where it had come from, but he did care about the effect that it had on their lives and business.
Any being that had done business with the Arlna Consortium for any length of time knew the rumors were shit, but that didn’t prevent the racism and hatred they’d received when trying to expand their company and create new branch locations.
Then the advertisement had popped up in the mercantile menu, Earth. An absolutely terrible name for a planet. Why would any species name their homeworld after dirt? But Junior had seen the movies and TV series, just like everyone else in the multiverse. Fifty days ago, all new content was released via the DBN, or Demonic Broadcasting Network. It came out of the blue, and soon it was the only thing people were talking about. It was the talk of the cosmos, and every being wanted more.
The number of people coming into company branch locations to buy TVs and recording devices blew his dad away. Junior himself didn’t believe the sales numbers until the company hired a third party auditor to double-check the company’s sales. Sure enough, it had been their most profitable month in almost three thousand years, which is ridiculous considering the amount of goods and services they offered as a company.
Then that advertisement popped up, and his dad had lost his mind.
“It doesn’t hurt us to make an offer, Junior.” His father said.
“That’s not the point, and you know it. It’s the offer itself that’s insane. Five percent of planetary profit is one thing, and I could even understand the additional five percent in export profit, even if it’s a bit generous. No, it’s the other things you offered that don't make any sense.” Junior protested.
“Son, you know what it’s like for us, you know the hardships we’ve endured. It’s gotten to the point that we’re losing out on bids for contracts. If we don’t do something big to turn this company around, we’ll begin declining. As things stand, you’d be lucky if your son has anything to inherit when you retire.” His father said, stroking his long white beard.
“It’s all because of that stupid campaign and the videos. Why can’t we just make a more sensible offer, why did you have to offer a ten percent stake in our company? We don’t even know them! What would grandpa say?” Junior objected vehemently.
“Your grandfather is the one who suggested it.” His father said, continuing to run his fingers through his beard.
“Grandpa did? Why?” Junior asked, somewhat deflated.
“With age, comes wisdom. Normally.” His father chuckled. “You will learn many things when you take over as head of the company, but one of the most important lessons is, consider the advice of your elders. They’ve been through a lot more, and if they’re up to date with current events and technology, they often bring sage advice to the table.” His father offered.
“I just don’t get it. It’s our family business, why do we need outsiders involved at all?” Junior asked.
“Because we’re competing with the offers of other companies from all across the cosmos, we needed something that would stand out. We couldn’t offer more in profit sharing than our bigger competitors without cutting into the health of the company itself, and we’re struggling to open new branches outside of newly integrated worlds. Yet, this planet Earth has driven customers to extreme purchasing habits. If we can capitalize on that, customers and even our competitors will be forced to go through our company for exported goods from the planet.” His father said, his hand steepled in front of him on his desk.
“Yes, I get that part. Movies and shows are one thing, but it’s a newly integrated world, their whole economy is likely dead in the water. You saw the population of that settlement, it’s miniscule. What are our chances that they even have things worth exporting?” Junior asked.
“Junior, you need to consider the long-term. If that civilization can survive and flourish, and we came in with open arms and smiling faces during their time of need, how do you think we’ll be treated once they start producing cultural items, shows, and movies in the future? You think “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy is big now, but what happens when a sequel comes out in two hundred years? At that point, we’ll be able to export that ourselves, and control distribution.” His father explained, leaning back in his luxury chair once more.
“I concede, I see your point. I still think it’s a large gamble, who knows if they’ll even make it that long.” He offered.
“Don’t forget the very bottom of the advertisement, son. That settlement is home to the Champion of The Baleful Lady. She hasn’t created a Champion in either of our lifetimes, I would wager she would do anything to protect her investment on that planet, or my name isn’t Junior Senior!” His father exclaimed.
Comments
SilverbladeTE
lol! ;)
Andrew Kluttz
Yeah, the goblins I was thinking of in this universe are a cross between explosion happy gobs from WoW, and the disgusting ones from Wings & Flames lol.
Andrew Kluttz
Haha, thank you! I loved that moment.
Ethan Barrow
My God, I loved the name reveal at the end. Absolutely fantastic. Great chapter!!
Artman
if only goblins didn’t breed true, with the correct breeding program there would be so many possibilities. Sadly that is not the case.
SilverbladeTE
Goblins...can just imagine the crazy little buggers opening up cathouses ... "Eeeeew, Uncle Bert got goblin clap, AGAIN!!" And think of the videos they might spawn! "Meepo Does Dallas." "The Green Goblin vs Batman" "The Last Goblin In Paris" "Basic Goblin" and the goblins would set up shrines to their Human hero: "The Midnight Bomber That Bombs At Midnight!" :P
