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Writing The Legacy of Mass Effect 3
🕑 Added 2023-01-19 18:07:04 +0000 UTCFrom the start of working on the Mass Effect videos, the video on Mass Effect 3 was the project I was most excited to work on. Getting there was a creative rite of passage-- from establishing the foundation for a trilogy-long discussion with the first video, and navigating the ungovernable structure of the second game-- but now that we were here, I was going to go all-out with it every sense of the word.
The Legacy of Mass Effect 3 was a unique writing project on my channel for multiple reasons--
- For starters, it's the only video I've worked on so far where I started and finished a whole other video in-between the completion of the first draft and the second draft. I did this so that I could put my feelings and experience of Mass Effect 3 on paper as quickly as possible, despite my ultimate goal being to move onto another video. Because of this, no video I've written has changed as wildly between drafts as the Mass Effect 3 video.
- No other video has had anywhere near the same deluge of feedback from a previous video as the ME3 video. The Legend of Mass Effect was not a hit on my channel, but the Brilliance of Mass Effect 2 was, and literal hundreds of comments had ideas and suggestions for what I should cover in the next video, which most certainly made a difference.
- It's the first and only video so far to have this weird thing--
What you're looking at is a color-coded, 'visual outline' graph I put together in Adobe Premiere after completing my outline for the video--
- Every color/row corresponds with a theme or motif that would be tracked throughout the discussion-- for which there were 14 of these.
- Each 'block' is separated by a gap, representing the breaks between each video chapter, rendering the blocks representative of themes/motifs encompassing a chapter.
- Some of the themes/motifs go away, return, or advance to another stage. For instance, row 1 "The Pursuit and Cost of Becoming Legendary" starts with 1.1, then becomes 1.2 at a certain point in the outline, followed by 1.3, 1.4, and 1.5. This goes for every theme and motif tracked in the outline.
- Why 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, etc? What is a "another stage?" To answer that question, let's now defer to the corresponding document that breaks it all down...
All 14 themes and motifs I wanted to track throughout the Mass Effect 3 video go through an evolution--
- The "Introduction" is our first impression of a theme. In the pursuit and cost of becoming legendary, BioWare won't be 'legendary' until they've reached the finish line. This idea very directly translates in the intro of the final video with, "then-- and only then-- might their work (BioWare's) become legendary" (this entire theme is central to the 3 videos as well, from as far back as denoting the works of various sci-fi authors as 'legendary' in the first video).
- "Opposition" challenges an idea. I've written it loosely so that it's not necessarily challenging the idea of the introduction, but rather a connotation of it. BioWare's given almost everything they have. Will they be able to reach the finish line?
- "Confusion" is the apex of our uncertainty in a theme. The point in which our impression of a theme is most fluid, perfectly in-between the idea of the introduction and the idea of the conclusion. If BioWare doesn't reach the finish line, will they have any shot at being legendary? Does that demean the effort they've put in to get there?
- "Revelation" is when the theme transforms. When our initial impression no longer holds water, and a new understanding is cultivated. The journey BioWare has taken has already had a tangible impact. That has to mean something. This particular idea is underlined pretty heavily by much of the latter half of Chapter 15 by gleaning all the impacts of Mass Effect, despite 3's ending.
- "Conclusion" is our final outlook on a theme. A confident sentiment that emerges from our journey of understanding through the evolution of a theme. It's the JOURNEY, not the destination, that makes one legendary. It might be a cliché idea, but at least it emerges from a progression, and is supported by the content of the discussion. That's really all that matters when you discuss a theme.
All 14 themes and motifs follow this evolution, and all of them are accompanied by several examples listed on the right of the outline chart, corresponding with moments in the game and in our analysis that helped construct the outline graph. The graph is useless without the corresponding document, but the visual is very useful for getting a feel for the chapters themselves and how they need to be written.
Some other themes in the outline include, "Working Together to Achieve a Common Goal," "Being The Player and The Storyteller," "The Worth of Honor, Morality, and Sacrifice in Times of Crisis," "The Fallibility of Organics," and of course, "The Inevitability of Time and Trying to Fight it." Most of themes in this video are carried over from the previous two videos as part of the trilogy-spanning discussion. Some of them-- not unlike how the Mass Effect 2 video introduced new ideas to the discussion-- are introduced in Mass Effect 3. As the most valuable resource for both BioWare and Commander Shepard in Mass Effect 3, time became the central theme for the video. Take note of how many times it's mentioned in the video (it's the first word I say!), just as the theme itself goes through a progression in the script.
ALL OF THIS is to say: the Mass Effect 3 video is the most rigorously outlined video I've done so far. And it's all because of how lost I got while writing about Mass Effect 2. Going off of vibes and "figuring your way through it" is good to a point, but you lose so much depth and run a very high risk of either getting stuck or sacrificing the integrity of your writing. Instead, I fittingly took a lesson from BioWare and Shepard, and "reinvented" my process for writing. One that starts with a pitch, multiple outlines, and clearly-charted themes. I still use that process with the videos I work on now, and it has made writing far less frustrating.
All the work above took 2 weeks to accomplish, and culminated in a first draft that took me another 2 weeks to write. Way quicker than the writing for the Mass Effect 2 video!
However, the work was far from over. While work on the first draft concluded on April 7th, 2022, draft 2 began 4 months later (after The Mandalorian: A Gunslinger's Odyssey) on August 17th. Approaching the script so long after it was initially written was a double-edged sword. Like any artist who views their old work and cringes, I was very unhappy with what I had written months later. But if I was willing to tough out my discomfort, the final iteration of the script would be better than ever.
What changed from the first draft to the second? Moreover, what are my goals for writing a second draft? While the general answer is 'a lot of little things...,' there were certainly core parts of the Mass Effect 3 script that changed in-between drafts...
The biggest thing I look at is content and logic/storytelling. Have I said everything I want to say in this part of the video? Does the flow of my argument make sense (especially after adding to the content of that argument in the 2nd draft)? And is the story I'm telling interesting?
Above is a comparison of the first few paragraphs of 11) War of The Worlds in draft 1 vs. draft 2 (you might need to zoom in to read it). Draft 1 starts with the line about 'do or die.' But in Draft 2, this has been moved to the 2nd paragraph, with the 1st paragraph acting as a rundown of BioWare's ambitions and challenges going into ME3 (most of the information in this paragraph was relegated to the 2nd paragraph in Draft 1). So things were rearranged and given more context, but more importantly, Draft 2 tells a more interesting story now. Instead of "wow, BioWare is really committed to urgency on this, I wonder why? Ah, that's why," it's "Man, BioWare has really got their back against the wall to make this game happen, how are they going to do it? By going as fast as possible!?" In movies, the hero doesn't act out of the blue then explain their actions. They face resistance, then act in response to that resistance. A similar principle dictates my storytelling here.
The next thing I look for is word choice and expression. Snipping flowery language, out of place figures of speech, modifying sentence structure, omitting repetitive words, or simply finding better ways to express something. It takes a conscious focus on voice to shape all of these things properly, but it might also depend on the tone of the writing. Because my priority on the first draft is getting the argument/story on the page, I tend not to think too clearly about 'how' I'm expressing my ideas. On subsequent drafts, it's crystal clear.
Here is another comparison between the opening paragraph of 12) Edge of Tomorrow in draft 1 vs draft 2. On 1st draft, I didn't know how else to transition into this chapter without comparing the Genophage and Rannoch arcs to a sandwich. I guess I was hungry when I wrote it. It's weird and unclever, and so I took a point that I actually addressed later in this chapter on 1st draft, and made it the hook of the chapter in draft 2. You can also see how the two sentences in draft 1 describing the Genophage and Rannoch conflicts were combined into one sentence in draft 2-- mainly for brevity, and because it regards them as a pair, which is what we will be doing in our analysis.
Then, one of the last things I look at is tone. This one is tough, as unless you're thinking very actively about the audience experience, you can miss a lot of areas of the script where facilitating a certain tone will improve the script. Tone has to work to a certain extent on the first draft, as it plays heavily into the flow of the storytelling. But I've made some crucial adjustments to tone over subsequent drafts on a couple of scripts, and The Legacy of Mass Effect 3 is no exception.
Here is the 2nd paragraph of 14) Judgement Day on draft 1 vs draft 2. Both chapters start about the same: Shepard dealing with a deep and aching failure. But then both chapters go off in drastically different directions. In draft 1, I followed the flow of the game's storytelling: Shepard fails, but then is encouraged to keep going by their companions, resolving a thematic arc in the discussion about the next generation seizing the reigns of change (I'd move this revelation to the conclusion in the final draft). In draft 2, I wanted to lean into how Shepard felt even more. This is the apex of hopelessness, loss, and anger. The clock is ticking down to zero, and there's nothing significant to help us stop it. This complimented the overall flow of the chapter so much more, and gave new momentum to the ending of the chapter, where we talk about BioWare's failure to deliver a satisfying ending to the game (this is an example of a writing decision that has a big effect on the editing-- now the music will be more ominous, and my narration will be read with dread). Tone shifts shouldn't be like flicking a light switch. They need to be deliberate, and when necessary, stretched out to facilitate tension.
The last thing I'll touch on in this post-- and indeed something that didn't come together until the 2nd draft-- is the final chapter of the video. On YouTube, per the timestamps, there is a 15 minute Chapter 15, and a 15 minute conclusion. But I originally wrote it as one big, 6 page chapter, chronicling a 10 year journey from the fallout of Mass Effect 3 to the victorious legacy of the series. It took every lesson I learned over the 3 videos to write this chapter-- from outlining, to storytelling, to tracking themes, to tone, to voice, to failure-- to get this chapter right.
Back before even finishing the writing of the Mass Effect 1 video (in summer 2021, pictured above), I aspired to write a Mass Effect 3 video that would examine the endings, dismiss them, but circle back to them with a new outlook after a long journey of perspective. In that sense, the chapter could be broken down into 3 distinct sections.
BioWare's Fallout --> The DLCs --> The Legacy of Mass Effect
Each section took on its own tone; from sorrow and remorse, to fleeting investment and elation, to a gradual shift from ambivalence to larger-than-life celebration. In all these sections, the style of expression changes, roughly going from a more grounded and objective view, to an intensely emotional and deeply-moved POV.
While solid research shaped the content of the first section, and notes of analysis from my time playing the DLCs shaped the content of the second section, the third section required the most creativity. In a trilogy-spanning discussion about exploring our dueling hopes and fears for the future, framing every assertion to the end of Chapter 15 with "you could see" transformed our hopes and fears from imaginary concepts, to something tangible and perceptible.
Every idea in this section began as a bullet point, and was then organized in accordance to tone and importance. Inconsequential and unimpressive at the start, but significant and triumphant by the finish. Attention to the transition between ideas also played into where they were placed. Many of these ideas serve as the revelation and/or conclusion for themes in my discussion. Some parts of this section were even written to 'rhyme' with the exact way I wrote something in the first video, giving all three videos a circuitry and completeness.
My hope in writing it this way was that every idea would gain a newfound tangibility, and-- as a result-- become more powerful to the viewer as I went further and further into the section; culminating on a conclusion that reflects the greatness of humanity in Mass Effect 3's endings, BioWare, and ourselves. It's our determination, ability to inspire, willingness to sacrifice, but-- most of all-- our capacity to fail.
Ultimately, whether or not I'd be wrapping up the series of videos with the bang I wanted, there was something very special about finishing the final draft... in the sky.
I wrote The Legend of Mass Effect at home in Pennsylvania, started The Brilliance of Mass Effect 2 during temporary stay in Florida, finished it at my new apartment in Pennsylvania, started The Legacy of Mass Effect 3 there, and finished it while flying back from vacation in September. The writing of these videos alone has been an adventure in itself, and the beautiful moments like what you see above always remind me how fortunate I am to be doing this for all of you.
So, that's been the writing of The Legend of Mass Effect series. I learned a lot, wrote a lot, and found a lot of inspiration for the next Legend of series I'll be doing on ArTorr. You won't see it for several months, but it's going to be the best video series I've done yet.
Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for the video commentary on The Legacy of Mass Effect 3!
