BAGINAZARD
patreon
Telling You Guys Ahead of Time Headed To The Hospital
🕑 Added 2020-07-08 08:15:18 +0000 UTC
Truly thankful for all that you guys do to keep me going, without you I would probably not have made it this far.
I have been pushing to try to make bills for months despite my health not feeling right for longer than that. I have been saying to myself since this time last year "I will get checked out at a hospital... after I pay for... " so many times I can't count.
The fear of homelessness was no added help, I kept fighting to avoid that. I can't afford to go to the hospital even with health insurance... but my life is worth a lifetime of medical bills...
I remember a time where I thought it was just stuff I was feeling from when I worked out, so I stopped working out... and it has not since then.
Even back during the time of the kickstarter, I Ignored what my body was telling me for a chance at something big.
And now with bills being so tight I had buried my head so far under commissions I could not make it out fast enough.
I waited trying to keep my life a float over my health for longer than I should... knowing something could be wrong and things have gotten worse... It scares me.
I don't know what will happen, I worry about my family, if all I am feeling is as bad as I feel it is, I worry about you guys who have stood by me for all these years, and I worry about the future I have been working so hard towards.
I worry about all the bills I still have to pay till this very moment, and how staying home for so long has got me so behind on everything the ones I care about would suffer. And I worry about how much the medical bills will be to try and get my quality of life back to something reasonable if this is not good, if that is even possible.
Really scared about what I might find out guys... I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I started doing this to let things get this bad.
... Help me, I screwed up.
