aaryn
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v0.16 Slow Starts and Hurt Feelings
🕑 Added 2019-05-04 00:53:53 +0000 UTCHey all,
I'm doing a public post on this because it's something that's greatly affected the game of late by stifling my creativity, eviscerating my motivation, and just plain hurt my damn feelings. While I tend to be pretty thick-skinned, we all have our vulnerabilities and one of mine was recently exploited on a level that really pushed back production and fucked up my writing for v0.16.
This is a long post but hopefully it will provide some context to why v0.16 is off to a really slow start.
What's UP?
For anyone who has followed the game for any period (or any newer members that were crazy enough to go back through and read old DevLogs) I've never been shy about putting my heart out on my sleeve with the development of this game. In real life, I'm a pretty private person, only sharing the most intimate details of myself with a select group of people that have worked hard to build that trust with me. In contrast, the Dev side of my life has been very open about the struggles of developing a game--particularly during the early parts of this game when I was doing everything solo. I've always believed in honesty and running a very transparent operation here, including openly admitting when I fuck up (shout out to the supporters who remember my overzealous attempt at strip poker version 1, my meltdown with surpassing the quality and expectations following v0.12, and even the most recent lamentations and guilty feelings about taking so long to publish v0.15).
Well, for those of you that aren't members of gaytorrent, now is another one of those times where my creativity took a massive kick to the dick--and I can honestly say this one hurt more than the first three.
Sharing the Game
While this post is long enough, I'll quickly summarize that Straight!? has been published on gaytorrent in the past and both me and the rest of the team are completely fine with the game being shared once it is made public. There are aspects of this game that are very personal and deep to me and many supporters have written volumes on the positive effect the game has had on them. While the game does make me a few extra bucks, the original intent of this game was always to send a clear message and provide a template to a vulnerable population who struggle with accepting their own sexuality. On a personal note, I'll admit it was something that I openly struggled with and was my primary motivation in writing this story in the first place. Because of this intent, I want the story to be shared. I'd love for it to reach a massive audience but I don't have to necessarily make millions because of that.
That's why it's fucking free.
The personal stories and stuff I get from people mean a lot to me and I can honestly say that I've met people through this game that I genuinely love and care for deeply. Because of that, cliche or not, I'm the wealthiest one here just because of the friends I've made and the impact of this project on me and those I've met through it.
Gaytorrent and the Problem
While Straight!? has managed to dodge most of the piracy problems that other creators have suffered, a few months ago the game was pirated for the first time on gaytorrent. Let me clarify that pirated in this context simply means it was posted before being released free to the public. In response, I simply requested that the responsible party stop because it hurts the game. I was surprised at the response in that the following release of the game wasn't pirated at all. What the fuck? The internet listened to me? While surprised (and apparently delusional), I was pleased and part of that helped fuel the motivation and the passion that went into making v0.15 the success that it was. Recently, the pirate has returned and reposted the newest version of v0.15 within a few days of the Patreon release. While gaytorrent is a private site with a limited audience, this shit punched me in the gut and I've really struggled with concentrating and focusing my attention on writing.
Perhaps the most hurtful aspect was the comment where someone immediately asked for the crunched version and the OP replied with "Good idea, gimme a sec" with a smiley face. It's the internet: we should expect insults, haters, and betrayal to a point, right? I ruminated on this shit for a week and I'm honestly not sure why. It's probably because the Dev team was already running on empty, busting our ass to get v0.15 out and I was probably already a little vulnerable and tired. Regardless, it completely derailed my motivation for the game and I sorta got lost.
How Does it "Hurt the Game?"
With no previous creative experience before this project, the effect of pirating on a creator was something that I sorta never thought about. For those unfamiliar with the game development process: It's expensive. To get Straight!? this far, it has cost thousands of dollars. While Daz3D is free, the assets you see used in the game are expensive, Zack and Braden's models alone cost several hundred dollars to design. This is not a ploy to encourage people to pledge more money, because that's not my intent. Hell, most of the time, if people increase their pledge by a substantial amount, I usually contact them to make sure it wasn't a mistake. My intent is however to justify why we release an early version for patrons before releasing the free public version. We fund this project on donations. Essentially, this means that if the Patreon version is openly pirated, there's fewer reasons for people to support the early release and the game cannot financially support itself. As it stands right now, I do make a profit but it's pretty minimal: I think I net about $3 an hour before taxes for the thousands of hours spent on this so far. So for the Robin Hood's out there that think we're making a fortune, it's more efficient to flip burgers than it is to design this game.
The piracy factor also derails the focus of the Dev team. Rather than discussing the characters, storylines, and spending time on outlining; we're forced to have conversations about security, pirating, and protecting the integrity of our project and those who choose to support us. Recently, I've spent time trying to write this post as some form of open catharsis--but again, that takes away from the game! It's stupid. It's irritating. And it forces us out of the role of our characters to handle housekeeping issues that are the root cause from one asshat that posted the game.
Thanks
I do want to thank people for the notes, the messages, and participation in the Discord channels. I'll also openly thank those people who participate in the f95zone forums that have praised the game. I do want to single out some of the folks from gaytorrent that contacted me after I posted on there in response to the pirating--you guys helped more than you realize. I'll also openly thank people on the Discord who have reported pirates in the past (most recently the dumbass that signed on to the Discord and then immediately began asking for copies of the game "because he didn't want to pay for it." The Discord hilariously shamed him publicly and privately--Yea, i'm talking about you Master Max). So a major thanks to the loyalty from the community. We couldn't ask for a better set of followers who are overwhelmingly loyal; it just sucks one pirate had to emotionally derail my ass as bad as he did.
Regardless, the overwhelming support for v0.15 has helped from both Patreon supporters and public supporters of the game--so thank you.
Summary
I know this is a long post and apologies for those that read the entire thing. I'm attempting to give some context to the lack of update progress on the Overview tab. Given that v0.15 ended Chapter 7, I'll openly admit that Chapter 8 is one of the most intimidating chapters in the game--one that I was already nervous about writing. Dealing with one asshole pirating the game recently has just made that process exponentially more challenging. While it's sad that one person has wreaked this much havoc on the game, the show must go on and we'll start outlining things more seriously in the coming days hopefully. However, both v0.16 and v0.17 will both be outlined before we seriously start working on v0.16. It's really important that Chapter 8 is planned out well. If this process becomes unmanageable, we'll keep providing bonus content to Patrons until I'm 100% again but I'm working on it.
So the attached image is an edited snapshot of the webpage where the game was posted. It's my own little personal passive-aggressive middle finger to those that rewarded the original poster by giving him points on the site for his post. Afterall, he posted our game without permission so I figured I would return the favor by posting all their names without permission.
If you support, the game, the message, and the developers behind the project, I'll kindly ask that you wait before distributing any Patreon copies until the public release is out. While I can't control this, it has greatly increased the difficulty of creating the next update and I can honestly say, it's impossible to start working on the project right now without thinking about the person who posted and the ensuing comments. It's stupid that one person did this much irrepairable damage to the game, but they did.
I'll bounce back.
But I feel like no matter how the next update turns out, I'll always feel like it could have been better without this constantly in the back of my mind.
-Aaryn-
Comments
Aaryn
Sorry about the slow response. I lost a bunch of posts so I'm still playing catch-up. Yeah, I feel like I was just really worn out from that last update and just wasnt emotionally ready for it. Yeah, it hurts to have people you think support you then someone hurts the project that much.
andy
I can understand the whole thing well, the same thing was done at Camp Buddy, which made me very angry. But there is something much bad when people suddenly change and let their friends down.
Aaryn
yo, hey thanks man. We appreciate that. Please understand it's not expected or necessary and please don't think that was the purpose of the post in the first place. Our culture here is one of transparency and I just like being an honest dude.
Your commitment to offering this great story free to the public is one of the main reasons I decided too, and will continue too, support this endeavor. To show the pirates that good always prevails, I've decided to increase my donation ;P So boo to them and ROCK ON to team Aaryn!
