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TUS Chapter 383: Zehahaha! Here Come the Dead!
🕑 Added 2025-05-06 18:56:55 +0000 UTC“Not bad, not bad!”
Funan clapped his hands with exaggerated enthusiasm. “Even if I gathered all the great shinobi of the world, you’d probably end up burying them alive. So…”
He looked at the Sage of Six Paths, flashing a toothy grin. “I’ve decided to take a page out of your book and summon some special warriors to fight on my behalf.”
“Special warriors?”
The Sage was momentarily taken aback.
Funan formed hand seals with a cold, expressionless face and muttered, “Impure World Reincarnation.”
[Bang! Bang! Bang!]
One coffin after another appeared in front of Funan.
Each coffin was marked with a number.
Upon seeing those numbers, the Sage’s expression twisted into sheer fury. He glared at Uchiha Funan, practically exploding in rage.
“You damn bastard—it was you!”
“I knew it!”
“I was wondering why the shinobi I had prepared suddenly vanished. So it was you all along!”
Funan spread his hands with a look of innocent confusion. “I’ve never even been to the Pure Land before. This is my first time coming here—to kill you. You’ve lived here all these years. If an outsider stepped in, wouldn’t you have noticed?”
“Don’t play dumb with me!” the Sage roared. “You didn’t have to come yourself to steal my things!”
He pointed at the coffins in front of Funan and bellowed, “These were the finest warriors under my command! You stole every last one of them, you bastard!”
[Crack—crack—crack!]
With a series of crisp snapping sounds, the coffins opened one by one—and figures began to step out.
The Second Hokage, the Third Hokage, and the Fourth Hokage.
The First Tsuchikage, Second Tsuchikage, and Third Tsuchikage.
The First Mizukage, Second Mizukage, Third Mizukage, and Fourth Mizukage.
The First Raikage, Second Raikage, Third Raikage, Fourth Raikage, and Fifth Raikage.
The First Kazekage, Second Kazekage, Third Kazekage, and Fourth Kazekage.
Nineteen legendary figures in total.
The Sage of Six Paths trembled with rage.
Not long ago, that man named Orochimaru had summoned the former Kage to battle Funan.
At the time, the Sage hesitated for a moment but ultimately allowed it.
After all, the former Kage had always been one of his trump cards.
Aside from those bearing the bloodline of the Ōtsutsuki Clan, they were the strongest shinobi in existence. The Sage had always held them in high regard.
They were his most prized collection.
If it hadn’t been for the need to cause trouble for Funan, he never would’ve allowed them to be used.
And the result?
After Orochimaru summoned the former Kage using the Impure World Reincarnation technique, they simply disappeared.
Their souls never returned to the Pure Land.
The Sage had assumed they had been sealed away and hadn’t paid much attention after that.
Though he valued them, he had no shortage of other powerful shinobi at his disposal.
There were others who could rival the strength of the former Kage. If they were sealed, so be it.
It didn’t really matter.
Who could’ve known they were all in Uchiha Funan’s hands?
That changed everything.
"Zehahaha!"
Funan grinned and said, “If Orochimaru could summon them, then of course I could too. I was just worried that you, you old sly bastard, might summon their souls back again. That’s why I didn’t dare lift the seal after I took them.”
“Later on, once I was fully prepared to perform Impure World Reincarnation again, I finally removed the seal.”
“So? How’s this sound?”
“These are the strongest shinobi in history.”
Funan cast a glance at the Fourth and Fifth Raikage and added, “And quite a few of them were freshly killed—still warm, in fact.”
The Fourth and Fifth Raikage had indeed been freshly executed.
The Sage of Six Paths stared coldly at him.
"What a shame," Funan sighed. “The Fifth Kazekage and the Fifth Mizukage—those two are mine, so I couldn’t kill them. But really, the worst case is Iwagakure… they only managed to pass down the title to the Third Tsuchikage.”
Funan thought of that future legend, the so-called 'Leg Kage', and mused aloud, “Who knows, maybe in a few years, she’ll end up in my bed too.”
He really did covet those long, shapely legs.
The Sage suddenly mocked, “Kurotsuchi?”
Funan paused. “You know about her?”
The Sage replied coolly, “I’m not entirely ignorant of the shinobi world. But Uchiha Funan, aren’t you even a little worried she might stab you in your sleep one day?”
Afraid of what? You think my dōjutsu is just for show?
Let me sleep with her for a few months—she’ll fall head over heels for me. Even if her grandfather came back from the dead, she’d bury him again herself.
The only danger is in the first few months!
No big deal.
Worst case, I’ll just tie her up at home for a while.
“Scared of what?” Funan thumped his chest with a loud thud, thud, and said, “As a man, if you can’t have confidence in your own charm, are you even a man?”
The Sage snorted coldly.
Talk all you want—but why the hell are you looking at me like that?
You think I don’t know you’re talking about me?
Damn it, back in my day, I had way more women than you!
You’ve only got what, a few women?
What are you even showing off for?
Compared to me, you’re nothing!
"Not bad, Uchiha Funan. I may have been careless for a moment but managing to take advantage of me—that’s no easy feat."
Funan glanced at him and suddenly barked, “Showing off again? In front of me, you’re nothing!”
The Sage of Six Paths: “…”
He formed a hand seal.
In an instant, countless spirits roared at Funan.
Even though Susanoo stood over 100 meters tall, the sheer number of spirits swarming toward it made it seem like it could be torn apart at any moment.
"Quantity?"
Funan sneered. "Does quantity even matter? The twenty Kage under my command—if they join forces, they could kill even a god."
"Oh? Is that so?" The Sage of Six Paths gave a mocking smile and waved his hand. Instantly, dozens more powerful spirit forms materialized.
Funan's eye twitched.
These newcomers were strong.
They didn’t seem any weaker than the former Kage.
"Go!"
Funan and the Sage shouted simultaneously.
[Whoosh!]
Minato and Tobirama launched the first attack.
Naturally, both of them were among the self-aware types.
They weaved and darted through the crowd of spirits, constantly shifting positions.
The Sage squinted and snapped, "Explosive tags?"
"That’s right!"
Funan grinned. “Explosive tags are a great thing. I won the Fourth Great Ninja War thanks to them. So how could I not bring them along when facing the legendary Sage of Six Paths?”
[BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!]
As they exchanged words, the detonations began to ring out.
Dozens of spirit forms were blasted into the air and began to disintegrate mid-flight.
Once destroyed, these spirits had no hope of returning. Their very existence was erased—gone forever from the shinobi world.
The Sage, however, remained calm. "Go ahead. Explode all you want. I’ve got plenty of spirits. I’m more worried that you don’t have enough explosive tags."
[Bang!]
Even as they continued speaking, the two kept clashing in battle.
Funan grinned again. “Sure, you have a lot of souls. But think about it—over the course of centuries, how many people have died? How many of those souls have you actually collected? I don’t believe the Pure Land gives you free rein.”
“There are limits,” the Sage admitted, still trading blows with Funan, his tone flat. “But the souls I can control are more than enough to eliminate you.”
"Oh really?" Funan smiled faintly and glanced at his own Impure World Reincarnated shinobi. “Me? I care about quality—not quantity.”
[Swish! Swish! Swish!]
The other Kage charged onto the battlefield one after another.
They tore apart spiritual forms with ruthless precision.
“Zehahaha! So what if there are a lot of you?” Funan laughed triumphantly, pouring even more power into his attacks.
The Sage turned and said coldly, “Quality does make a difference—but I’ve got no shortage of strong fighters on my side either.”
With that, the tide of battle abruptly shifted.
Several spirit forms suddenly appeared beside Ōnoki.
Before he could react, he was torn into pieces.
Fortunately, other Kage nearby stepped in just in time. Otherwise, he might’ve been sealed on the spot.
Funan blinked in surprise. “These are the souls of powerful shinobi? And there are this many of them?”
“That’s right,” the Sage said calmly. “Their strength isn’t inferior to the Five Kage. Of course, since they’re just souls, their power is somewhat reduced. But not by much.”
The key point was their numbers.
“So, what now, Funan?”
The Sage smiled with amusement. “Your move. What’s your choice? Decide quickly—or your people will be sealed.”
“Oh? You really think you’ve got me cornered?” Funan sneered, slamming both palms onto the ground.
“Summoning Technique!”
[Bang!]
Several more coffins erupted into view.
When the figures inside were revealed, the Sage’s brow twitched. “You even went and got them…”
“Fight for me!”
Funan burst out laughing. “The Akatsuki Elite!”
Nagato!
Kisame!
Deidara!
Sasori!
Only four of them—
The rest were either still alive or unavailable for reincarnation.
But even so, these four were immensely formidable.
Especially Nagato—he wielded the Rinnegan, after all!
At Funan’s command, Nagato struck first.
Shinra Tensei!
And not just any version—it was on the scale he’d used to destroy Konohagakure.
He unleashed it without distinction, hitting friend and foe alike.
Then Deidara followed up with a massive self-detonation.
They cleared out a massive swath of the battlefield.
“Zehahaha! Sage of Six Paths! Sure, you’ve got the numbers… but what a waste!” Funan shouted mockingly. “Quantity alone isn’t enough, got it?”
The Sage’s face darkened.
“Well then, Sage of Six Paths—got anything else up your sleeve?”
Funan smiled, watching him closely. “If not, then just wait. Once my people finish wiping out your spirit forces, we’ll join up… and take you down. You hear me? Take. You. Down.”
“Zehahahaha!”
Funan laughed in satisfaction.
After fighting the Sage for so long, even he had gotten a bit frustrated.
