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Tutorial Rewrite 20
🕑 Added 2023-01-07 15:55:44 +0000 UTC<Top—Status—Community>
<00:37:37
Day 61>
<The fourth attempt will begin in
29:23:23:23>
I raise my eyes from the clock. In front of me, a near-endless path overgrown with flowers of all sizes and colours stretches out. I’d better get to it, then.
Maybe I should call myself lucky that I was in such a state upon arriving here, because instead of already standing in a huge patch of ladies, there’s a small bald spot where I’ve already eaten everything. Hm. I wonder if it’s physically possible for me to eat every single lady here?
<The God of Cowardice
worries that He may lose a
promising future apostle.>
Shut it! You are not part of this, so you better go away!
I’ll probably get negative effects just from touching these, so I might as well just go ahead and munch down. But since none of them show their effects or names in the form of boxes or windows, I’ll just have to do it myself. One lady at a time, all the while writing down the effects as I go.
Taking a long, measured breath, I sit down, crossing my legs as I do. Let’s get started.
Lady number 1: a light blue skirt with large, lacy plumes, her crown held by a body of silver. Taste: mellow, with hints of metal and copper. I then realised that this was because her coarse body tore up the inside of my mouth and left me bleeding. When swallowed, she did the same to my throat, so I have reason to believe her entire form was covered in small, imperceptible barbs. Status condition: [Bleeding]
Lady number 2: periwinkle buds crowded around a blank centre of gold. Tasty: yummy. It left me hallucinating for several minutes on end wherein I saw God and He laughed at me. In anger, I ate Him too. Status condition: [Hallucination]
Lady number 3: God. shadowy form, salty taste. Made me puke. Ew. Status condition: [Nausea]
…
Lady number 662: Yummy!
Lady number 663: Yummy!
Lady number 664: Yummy!
Lady number 665: Yummy!
Lady number 666: Yum-,
“Caw!”
Hang the on the on, mr long-neck duck, I am countrying a woman here.
“Caw, caw!”
Go away rendezvous point, I told you that I am in no mood to dillydally, my readers are depending on me for this life saving information!
<PrissyKittyPrincess[F2]: eq011
11n1n 101000 dnenenen jjdjfjf
Wnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Mmrmmmrmm
yeyye 29292 188 1881 88
Ladyladyladylady
Efnnnn errre rr erroroo oon. nenn.
euff>
<AdvanceDestroy[F3]: fellas, I
think she’s lost it.
<CottonEyedJeff[F4]: RIP>
<FrondBeyond[F3]: she made a good
effort. RIP>
<HowWhatWhy[F6]: rip>
They need me, my good fellow!
“Caw.”
And like the melodramatic vulture-man he is, he extends his beak across the table far more than is normally acceptable, and takes a peck at my face, removing my eye. How rude! As I’ve told you many times, Sir Archebeak the Third, there is really no need for such vulgarity. We have plenty of appetisers—Lady 77 and Lady 320 are especially plentiful this season. Here, won’t you try Lady 43?
Grabbing hold of his slender, lady-killing neck, I shove Lady 43 down his throat.
“C-, cawwhhwkk, cawwhhkkhhh…!”
Oh, and now you’re rejecting her advances. How cruel a bird you are, Master Wingley. You are hurting her feelings!
<Vulture (Lv.3) Defeated.>
But much like the rest of his kind, he just starts foaming and flapping his wings like a lunatic, before dropping dead at the spot. How boorish. I should never have agreed to dine with these gents. Nevertheless. Would you like more tea, Mistress lovethorn? Milk from my own veins, steeped in lady 200. It’s quite marvellous.
She, much like her brusque brothers, attempts to refuse the tea, but I will not have anymore of this circus act within my tea party, so I force the yummy tea down her throat.
“Cwaaaaahhkkkk—!”
<Vulture (Lv.2) Defeated.>
The rest of my guests look a bit restless but nonetherest i must restore their restpite in this restpectable restaurant. Restolutely.
“C-, caw…”
Oh, don’t you sass me, woman!
It would seem to me, that the lot of you all have yet to restpect me and my attempt to please the lot of you! It is very upsetting, and I have no choice but to bar you from this gathering. I hope that none of you will take this personally, as it is far from my intention. But I hope that, until next time, you will reflect upon your actions, well and truly.
I greet them with the butter knife.
<Vulture (Lv.5) Defeated.>
<Vulture (Lv.3) Defeated.>
<Vulture (Lv.4) Defeated.>
<Vulture (Lv.2) Defeated.>
<Vulture (Lv.2) Defeated.>
<Vulture (Lv.5) Defeated.>
<[Level Up]>
<You have reached Level 8.>
<Agility has increased by 3.
Strength has increased by 2.
Stamina has increased by 4.
Magic Power has increased by 1.
Coma Resistance has increased by 1.
Internal Damage Resistance has increased by 1.
Intermediate Knife Arts has increased by 2.
Hallucination Resistance has increased by 3.>
I hope to see you all next-,
<You have learned:
Hallucination Protection Lv.1>
…Huh.
Huh?
Huh…
This is… weirdly enough not the weirdest position I’ve woken up to. I’m surrounded by dead half-eaten vultures and not much else. In front of me, a few metres away, the flowers and the ravine continue. Behind me is a long stretch of bare ground. Not even a single leaf remains.
So, in conclusion, I’ve been eating a lot, but I don’t feel bloated. What a neat feature. Are ladies nutritious? I don’t know.
Hum.
What was I doing again? Oh, yeah. Eating flowers. Better get back to it, I guess.
I stretch my hand towards a flower but stall inches before its petals.
No, if I touch this lady’s stem it’ll hurt. I need to eat the flower first, then wait a few minutes to grab the stem.
…How do I know that? Where is this…?
It’s Lady 93. It’s only common sense. Right, right, just standard common sense… of course. Quietly, a little speechless, I chomp down on the flower. And there, next to it, is Lady 6. She’s very spicy, and will kill your organs one by one, starting with your spleen, so your best bet is to just remove your spleen before it spreads any further.
…It doesn’t feel like this knowledge belongs to me. I can barely even recall gaining it. And yet…
<Top—Status—Community>
<13:50:50
Day 68>
<The fourth attempt will begin in
22:10:10:10>
It’s been a full week. I can’t remember much from it aside from the start, however, I can tell that I’ve been using this time in some mode or manner. I’m not sure how, but it wouldn’t be exactly fair to say that it was a waste. I can remember eating. That’s about it.
If I look in the skills tab, I’ve gained a lot of new tolerances and even a fair number of resistances, though I only have three protections so far. Personally, I think that this is for the best. Mainly, though, I just feel a bit winded. When I look at the flowers ahead of me, I can kind of tell just what each of them will do to me if I eat it. There are a few unknowns left in my vision, though.
…I wonder for how long this ravine stretches on? It’s supposed to end eventually, right?
And, besides… I’m starting to feel a bit hot. I’m not sure when, but the temperature down here has risen sharply, and now it feels downright humid. And now that I’m actually looking at it, it seems I’ve gained a Heat Tolerance skill, though it isn’t doing much.
Well, enough about that. There’s still plenty of ladies left to court, so I’d better get to it.
