AuthorPalt
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Tutorial Rewrite 21
🕑 Added 2023-01-07 15:59:49 +0000 UTCWith a strange sort of worldwearyness, I return to eating flowers. I can deal with the poisonous and hallucinogenic ones pretty well, but some cause really exotic symptoms that my resistances basically have to work together to counterattack. Lady number 667 has a nerve toxin that makes you unable to feel your tongue, and since it doesn’t exactly work as a normal poison it doesn’t trigger my poison protection but rather my paralysis tolerance. If it hadn’t evolved into Paralysis Resistance just in time I might have choked to death on my own tongue.
Lady number 9 makes me feel uncontrollably, uh, hungry. But not for food. If you get my, um, drift. And apparently there’s no Horny Tolerance so I was left with that for over 4 hours and it was—it was just a bad time overall.
Lady number 690 made my stomach uncontrollably itchy, and I thought that only the skin would be affected by the itchiness, but then it was still itchy even after I’d scratched off my skin, so I just kinda kept scratching even after it went through my fat layer and a bit of the muscle. I almost opened up my own bowels, but then I got so desperate I purposefully ate Lady number 444, which makes me manic, but that didn’t really help because it just made me eat more flowers and dance around naked.
Once I got to Lady 1 000, I decided to take a breather.
I tore off my clothes. I don’t know where I put them. I think I might have eaten them because I suddenly gained an indigestion tolerance. I didn’t mention it before but my body no longer makes any waste. A lot of the ladies make me puke uncontrollably but none give me anything from the other end because for some reason my body doesn’t do that anymore since I entered the tutorial. I’m scared. What happened to my clothes? Can they still come out or am I screwed?
Since I can’t afford to buy new clothes I pulled out my leopard hide and now that’s what I’m wearing. I put its head on top of me and tied its arms around my neck, but then I had to somehow cover my groin, which I did by tying its legs around there, and now I just feel bad for it because it looks like I’m wearing a big diaper. I don’t know what to do with the tail so it's just hanging behind me but I keep stepping on it and stumbling. I just feel bad.
<The Goddess of Want
approves your sense of fashion.>
What is there to approve?! I’m wearing this poor thing’s skin as my only clothes! Ah, if I could only wear my normal clothes… A hoodie. A pair of jogging pants. A nice pair of briefs. That’s all I’m asking for. Why did I have to eat my underpants, too? Why can’t my brain survive this sort of stuff?
Oh, Lady number 877 with the effects of inducing coma, take the pain away!
…But, of course, since I have Coma Resistance Level 2, all it does is make me feel drowsy and numb. And, you know, I’ve been thinking, but… there really is a tolerance for everything. I mean, just the other hour I ate Lady number 769 and got Hormonal Imbalance Tolerance Lv.1.
But the fact that there are so many different tolerances is not a good thing. I mean, sure, I’ve got super strong poison resistance, but the second something attacks in a slightly different manner, I’m gone.
Silently thoughtful, I chomp into Lady number 1 247. Hmm. An aftertaste of hazelnut, with more mellow notes of ginger and burnt tyres. As for the effect… Yes, I’m starting to go blind. Interesting.
<You have learned:
Blindness Tolerance Lv.9>
<You have learned:
Blindness Resistance Lv.1>
Phew, nice to have that one in the bag. Shame my vision is still being filled with nothingness. Seems Lady number 1 247 has a stronger effect than Lady number 67, so there’s only really one way to deal with this.
Putting down the flower I was about to eat next, I quickly shove my fingers into my eyeballs and pull them out. Since it’s a waste to just throw them away, I put them into my inventory to use as vulture bait once I get thirsty. And after a few minutes of meditation…
<You have learned:
Auto-Regeneration Lv.4>
I can sense that I got a level up, but I can’t see it. It seems that whatever the lady did, it targeted not my eyeballs themselves, but rather my neural centrals for vision. My eyeballs have regenerated, but I’m still blind. Hopefully this won’t last too long. It’s kind of silly, but before all this, I assumed being blind was like having your eyes closed, like everything is black, but that isn’t it at all. You just can’t see at all.
<You have learned:
Bacteria Tolerance Lv.1>
Oh, that’s going to be a bother.
Well, it’s not like I can tell the ladies apart by touch alone, so… I mean, I probably could, but then what’s the fun?
…Okay, fine, I’ll keep going. But I’ll only do the ladies I’ve already had a taste of!
Now, let’s see here… Ruffled skirt… Soft, delicate leaves… Slightly curved stem… That’s gotta be Lady number 690. Let’s have a taste to check. Mm. Just as flavourful as usual, and within only half a minute, I can already feel my abdomen start to itch.
<You have learned:
Irritation Tolerance Lv.7>
Though, thanks to my tolerance, it only sort of makes me want to disembowel myself. By groping around for a while, I’m able to find Lady number 881, whose acidic slime is enough to corrode my hand down to its bones and leave it unable to regenerate for several hours, and with no hesitation, I press her to my stomach.
<You have learned:
Acid Tolerance Lv.10>
<You have learned:
Acid Resistance Lv.1>
<You have learned:
Corrosion Tolerance Lv.5>
Ahhh, that’s much better.
…Hm? Is that a flap of wings I hear? I guess the smell of my stomach melting was enough to rouse their attention. This might be a problem. I’m not sure what sort of impression I’ve given you, but I’m no [insert famous martial artist here]. Flap flap flap, and now I can’t hear the flapping so I think they’ve landed. Hm. Choice 1: try to feed them ladies. Choice 2—
Oh, something just went into my soft stomach. Yup, that’s a beak. My skin got kinda goopy thanks to the acid, so they don’t really need to make much of an effort to slurp it up. The problem is…
<Vulture (Lv.3) Defeated.>
Yeah. Acid, dude. You ever heard of it? It’s not very edible.
But the other vultures don’t really care, so they just kinda bustle around me. I can hear their feathers rusting together. Their beaks poke into me, one by one, pecking and slurping and poking and grabbing. First my stringy muscles, and then my organs. Well, mainly my bowels and stomach. But, see, you know, I haven’t exactly been eating a nutritious diet as of lately. My body has neutralised most of it to the point where I can handle it well, but these vultures don’t really have those sorts of resistances. So once they get to my stomach…
“C—caw!”
“Crawwaaahkk…!”
“C-, caw…”
<Vulture (Lv.2) Defeated.>
<Vulture (Lv.3) Defeated.>
<Vulture (Lv.5) Defeated.>
<Vulture (Lv.2) Defeated.>
<Vulture (Lv.4) Defeated.>
<[Level Up]>
<You have reached Level 9.>
<Agility has increased by 2.
Strength has increased by 3.
Stamina has increased by 4.
Magic Power has increased by 1.
Coma Resistance has increased by 1.
Blindness Resistance has increased by 1.
Organ Failure Resistance has increased by 1.
Bacteria Tolerance has increased by 3.
Internal Damage Resistance has increased by 1.>
Yeah, take that, you bird-brained beak-for-brains! Take… that…
Falling flat on my back, I feel my consciousness fade.
…
Ugh… Man, what a hangover… Where is—?
Oh, my vision is back! Great stuff, that’s-,
Is that a door?
