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Tutorial Rewrite 114
🕑 Added 2023-02-15 15:39:23 +0000 UTCAfter repeating this with a few more harpies in a few more places, we’ve got the whole forest up in flames. It’s a pretty sight, but the smell of smoke and burning blood and feathers is kind of gross. That said, I do think I prefer the slightly nostalgic sound of widespread screaming to the previous moans and wails. This really does confirm that whole thing about preferring the familiar over the unknown, huh?
<Harpy (Lv.41) Defeated.>
<Harpy (Lv.43) Defeated.>
<Harpy (Lv.39) Defeated.>
<...>
Anyhow, since the forest is burning pretty well and the defeat messages are rolling in like dough, I might as well head on inside the tower. I’m actually standing right at the base of it right now. I haven’t gotten any message about the boss stage though, so I think it only activates once I enter through the conspicuously visible—and open—front door.
Final note before I do that, though…
I think this big-ass tree twirling around the tower is one of those living trees. Why do I think so? For one, it’s got those big hollowed-out holes, of which two are currently flooded with clear sap. Secondly, it’s warm. I wonder if it provides any sort of internal isolation and warmth to the tower itself? If that’s the case, then the witch is either very lucky, or a genius. Either way, I’m starting to get a little excited to meet her.
Well, no need to procrastinate anymore. Let’s head inside!
<Tutorial stage,
Hell Difficulty Thirteenth Floor
Boss Stage>
<[Clear Condition]
Defeat the wicked
Witch of Ash and rescue
the princ—
Princ—
/ppppppp./>
<A change has been made.>
<[Clear Condition]
Defeat the wicked
Witch of Ash.>
Hm? Hey, wait, what’s all that about? A princ… Prince? Princess? Hang on a second, are you trying to say that you don’t think I’m capable of rescuing a prince or princess from a wicked witch?! I may not look like knight material, but… Actually, there’s no but to that. But still!
Why, I’ll show you that I can rescue a prince or princess just as easily as any other challenger or royally sponsored tin can!
Hmpf, what an insult.
Okay, so, what are we dealing with in here?
…Stairs. Yeah, uh, I don’t know exactly what I expected, but the tower is stairs. It’s just one big spiral staircase, and that’s it. It doesn’t even have any windows! Any real estate agent would switch professions if they saw this place. Ugh. This is gonna be dull. Be happy you don’t have to watch me doing this whole thing.
Going down on all fours, I ascend the stairs like a dog.
Approximately three thousand five hundred and two hours later, I arrive at the top. What meets me is so stunning I physically stop in place, glued to the floor.
There’s a door, a completely ordinary door, and just below it is a mat that says Welcome on it in big, curvy letters. A little sign hangs on the door that says No solicitors or armies, please in similar cute, swirly letters with a little heart at the end. Stepping forward, I unconsciously wipe my feet on the mat before opening the door.
“Nyeheheh! Soon you will fall to my despicable curse, princess Swee-Swee!” a comically standard witch—complete with a purple, broad-brimmed hat and door handle nose—says with a cackle as she points all ten of her fingers at a frail maiden goblin sitting chained on the floor. Orange bolts of undoubtedly magical lightning zaps out from all ten fingers.
<Witch of Ash (Lv.62)>
“No, please, anything but that!” the said frail maiden goblin moans, closing her eyes in pain. “I will do anything, so please don’t turn me into one of your horrid beasts!”
<Goblin (Lv.9)>
“Nyeheheheh, oh, but you have no choice! Now, accept your fate or I’ll—”
The witch meets my eyes. I meet hers.
Um, did I walk in on something?...
“Uh,” the witch says. “Do you mind? I’m kind of in the middle of turning this princess into a chimaera, and you’re sort of ruining the atmosphere.” She gestures at the confused-looking princess.
“Oh, um,” I stammer. “S—sorry. Should I come back in like five minutes or something?”
The witch rubs her wart-covered chin. “Hmmm…” She shrugs. “Yeah, that should about do it.”
“W—wait!” the princess stammers, her face whipping between the witch and me. “Don’t listen to this foul ungoblic woman! Free me, please, and I’ll give you my hand in marriage. The whole Kingdom of Ret-inn will be yours to rule!”
I frown down at her. “Sorry, but, um…” I glance away. “I’m not really ready for that sort of commitment, you know? I’m sort of saving myself for, you know, the right one…”
The witch shakes her head and crosses her arms. “Princess Swee-Swee, didn’t anyone teach you manners? Proposing out of nowhere is very rude.”
“Wh—what?” the princess says, brows furrowing. “I have nothing else to offer! How else should I—”
“To be honest,” I say, interrupting her, “I’ve gotta agree with the witch on this one. You can’t just assume that guys will be into you just ‘cause you’re a person of power. It’s pretty unfair, actually. And what if I was already married? Proposing to a guy out of nowhere can be really problematic to his social life if it gets out.”
The princess’ head jerks from side to side. “N… No, I was just…”
The witch shakes her head again. “Just because you’re a pretty young girl doesn’t mean you can get away with that sort of stuff.” She looks over at me. “Now, my magic is starting to wear off, so if you’ll just step out for a second, I’ll be ready in a moment, alright?”
“Oh, yeah, sure,” I say, stepping back out of the door. But, before I go, I peek my head back in briefly. “That chimaera better have a cool-ass hide.”
The witch grins at me. “You better believe it.”
I step back out of the door and gently close it behind me.
Wow, what a swell gal. She really gets me!
Hm. It feels like I’ve forgotten something, but if I forgot it, then it must not be important, right? Right…
I hear a piercing, feminine scream, and as I mull over my thoughts, it slowly transforms into beastly growling.
Oh, wait, I was supposed to save the princess! Shoot—
I throw the door back open again. “Sorry to burst in, I just remembered that part of the boss stage clear requirement was to save the princess, so can you just, like, not turn her into a—”
Inside the room, a big chimaera with the head of a lion, the body of a bear, the legs of a tiger and the tail of a shark stares at me. Oh, and it also has a pair of mismatched wings. I stare at it. My mouth falls open.
The witch’s eyes widen at the sight of me. “You’re telling me that now? It’s not like I can un-chimaera her! Just bursting in here is very inconsiderate of you.”
I hold up a hand, stilling her talking. “No, I’ve changed my mind. To hell with the stage requirements, that chimaera is way too cool to undo.”
The witch blinks once before puffing up her chest in pride, putting her hands on her hips. “‘Ain’t that exactly it! I’ve always said—a strong theme with just a few little breaks to that rule is how you make a great chimaera! Just sticking together random bits of whatever animals you can find is super boring. You need some panache, some moxie, some damn chutzpah to make things happen!”
I hold up my hands. “I know we’re supposed to fight or whatever, but I couldn’t have said it better myself. Randomly cobbled-together bosses are a waste of an awesome concept, but this is…!” I clutch my hand into a fist. “Never before have I seen such beauty, such fierceness, such boldness! You, witch, are a true artist.”
She nods in response, cheeks a deep green. “Indeed, indeed, you are quite correct. None of those pompous wizards at the university could understand this, but you—you!” Her eyes gleam. “You have a great eye. I am surprised the Gods would send a man of such culture to punish me for my supposed sins.”
I shrug. “Those dumbos can’t tell a diamond from a pebble.”
She grins at me. “You truly are a worthy challenger. Come, face the chimaera. If you beat it, I’ll battle you one on one.”
I frown at her. “It’s fine if you want to go all at once, so…”
“No way, I have no idea what abilities this thing has. I’m not stepping close to it.”
“Huh,” I say. “Fair.”
Comments
Diez de Groot
I like this witch. He likes the witch. He’s gonna kill and eat the witch. Good Times
