AuthorPalt
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Tutorial Rewrite 105
🕑 Added 2023-02-02 10:08:01 +0000 UTCI won’t bore you with the details, but there’s a pretty simple way to catch the lures. See, they aren’t as smart as they seem. Not in the least, as a matter of fact. At first, I just did what I did with the first one by pulling them up on the rocks. This was a pretty good idea. Facing one of these under-water is a very, very bad idea. The agility buff they have down there is ridiculous, so it’s best not to even try it unless you want to wash up on the shore again without any organs or limbs. From what I can tell, they don’t like eating bones, so they usually don’t go for the skull, or even the neck, which is good for me, but very annoying since it means I have to redo the whole damn thing all over again.
After a while, though, the lures caught on to the fact that I’m not actually going to join them for a dance, so they stopped inviting me, which totally didn’t hurt in the least and I took it without crying even once.
So, how did I catch them, then? Well, that’s very simple. I just use my own bowels as a lure. My small intestine works well as a rope, and my spleen—which I don’t use anyways—is apparently yummy enough for them to bite. I use one of their own teeth as a hook, so then I just reel them back in. Easy stuff.
By the time I finally reach that damn island, there aren’t any more lady lures to try to do away with me. Aside from a number of breezebirds that tried to peck me to death, there weren’t any other enemies with levels, so once I took care of the breezebirds, I was finally free to try to beat the stage for real.
I step onto the small, rocky island. It can only be considered an island because it's the end of the rocky path. In terms of what it actually is, it’s basically just made up of rocks, big and small, with the island itself being one big rocky outgrowth.
<Tutorial stage,
Hell Difficulty Eleventh Floor
Boss Stage>
<[Clear Condition]
Answer the three riddles
of the tomb to put its inhabitant to rest.>
Tomb? What tomb?
What, is that big square rock supposed to be a tomb? Pretty weird shape, but alright.
As I approach the only structure that isn’t just a sharp rock on the island, I find that it does actually have a door. Interesting. Pushing it open, I step inside. It’s dark, but I can still see, because there’s a small dome-shaped window atop it, letting in a bit of light. With this light, I can see what I assume to be the tomb in question. It’s really just a coffin, though, standing upright at the end of the room.
I step closer, which lets me see that there are actually a few inscriptions on the tomb itself. I can’t understand what they mean, though, so I’m not sure how I’m supposed to—
<Riddle 1:
[I am clad in the finest of furs,
yet have killed no beast.
What am I?]>
…What? Uh… Shoot. Okay, yeah, I admit it, I’ve never been very good at riddles. Um… Wears furs, without killing anyone. Could it be a standard woman? Just a woman. A lot of women wear pelts without killing it themselves. Like, they just bought it in a shop. Totally normal.
Yeah, that’s my answer. A woman.
<You have answered:
A woman.>
<Incorrect!>
<The answer was:
A cat.>
I…
You…
That’s—
I call bullshit! What the fuck, that’s not even—...! How the heck can you say that cats don’t kill things?! Sure, it’s not like they wear the furs of the things they kill, but how is that answer possibly correct while mine isn’t?! This just—
Thump. Inside the tomb, something rattles. A crack spreads across the front of the tomb. Uh. Okay, that’s… worrying.
<Riddle 2:
[I sing, and yet I have no breath.
What am I?]>
Okay, okay. Let’s think this through. I want to say the lady lures because they literally sang without breathing, but that’s too easy. It’s not gonna be that. I have no idea what it’ll be though, so… Singing, with no breath. So it’s inanimate. That means…
Right, um, I think I know it. The answer is… the wind!
<You have answered:
The wind.>
<Incorrect!>
<The answer was:
An instrument.>
…Damn it! This is bullshit! An instrument? Which instrument?! Instruments don’t sing! They toot and whine and that’s it! How can you sing without breath? A wind sings! It whistles and it howls and that’s exactly what wind does! And you can’t say the wind has a breath because you have to be alive to be able to breathe. And you kind of have to have a throat and a breath to be able to sing, but apparently, instruments sing, too. Absolute bullsh—
The tomb thumps again and the crack spreads further, an ominous RED light streaming out from inside it. Sh—shoot. Okay, um…
<Riddle 2:
[In all the world, there is only one of me.
I am never seen, but always known.
I hold no rallies, yet I have countless followers.
What am I?]>
…I’m calling my lifeline.
I open up my PMs.
<PrissyKittyPrincess[F11]: hey mole umm
In all the world, there is only one of me.
I am never seen, but always known.
I hold no rallies, yet I have countless followers.
What am I?>
Leaning back, I await a response. But within only a few seconds…
<Please choose your answer
or it will be considered incorrect.
You have 29 seconds left
to answer.>
My jaw drops open. I—you—that’s…!
I stare at my PMs. Come on, Moleman…! You’re always so fast with this stuff, so just be a bit quicker this time, come on, please—!
<Please choose your answer
or it will be considered incorrect.
You have 11 seconds left
to answer.>
My mind whirls. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
<Please choose your answer
or it will be considered incorrect.
You have 4 seconds left
to answer.>
D—damn it! Okay, okay, it’s the wind! I don’t care anymore, so let’s just say it’s the wind again! That’s my answer: the wind!
<You have answered:
The wind.>
<Incorrect!>
<The answer was:
The north wind.>
I fall to my knees.
That’s it. I can’t handle this anymore. Let the tutorial kill me, I don’t care. I accept it. Just, please… let me die with dignity.
The tomb before me thumps and beats and the fiery crack begins to web across the entire tomb. A message pops up in front of my eyes.
<SuperMoleman[59]: Oh, that’s a tricky one!
Let me see here… It could be a lot of things.
This is for the tomb, right? Hmm… How about
“The north wind?” or maybe something
simpler, like “Direction”? It could also be
a concept, like “Faith,” but that might
be too far out. Hope this helps!
Good luck! It’s alright to fail one or two
of the riddles, so don’t worry if you get it
wrong as long as you get the other ones right!>
Comments
Diez de Groot
Moooooolleeee. Also, at this point Lee can apparently survive as long as a skeleton and brains are left.
