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hospital update
🕑 Added 2025-06-20 05:50:47 +0000 UTCDear sweet Patrons,
I want to begin this message by saying: I love you. Truly, deeply, and with my whole heart. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your concern, your messages, your energy, your love. I’ve felt it even through the haze of the most physically painful and emotionally draining weeks I’ve experienced in a very long time.
I know you’ve noticed the lack of content this month, and I want to be transparent about why. Earlier this month, I became severely ill. I was running dangerously high fevers and experiencing some of the worst pain I’ve ever known especially in my ears. I’ve since learned from others (and wholeheartedly agree) that this pain is often described as worse than childbirth. I hope to never feel anything like it again.
After being pushed to my absolute limits physically and emotionally I finally went to the ER. Many of you know the depth of my medical trauma, so you understand just how serious things had to get for me to go there. After scans and tests, I was diagnosed with strep throat and a severe ear infection. I was admitted to the hospital and have been here for many, many days.
I’ve been on multiple antibiotics oral and IV and I’m finally beginning to feel a slow, subtle shift back toward strength. My POTS flared badly during all of this, and at times, my heart rate wouldn’t drop below 100 BPM for days on end. I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t eating. My body was in pure survival mode. And yet somehow here I am. And here you are.
I didn’t have access to my laptop while I’ve been admitted. No one was able to bring it to me, which made it even harder for me to update all of you the way I wanted to. I’m so sorry for the silence it was not intentional. I would never disappear on you. Ever.
This month has reminded me, again, how sacred our health is. How much care my body needs, especially with my conditions. It’s reminded me how vital connection, sleep, and even simple joy like social time and intimacy are to my well-being. I’m carrying those lessons forward.
I’m not sure what the rest of this month will look like just yet in terms of content or live sessions. I wish I could make promises, but my energy is still in recovery mode, and I need to listen to my body moment by moment. Just like I encourage you to do. Moment by moment, love.
Please know this: I have not left you. I’m not going anywhere. I love you all with intention, with presence, and with gratitude. Thank you for holding space for me. For believing in me. For showing up, even when I couldn’t.
I’m here now. I’m coming back to life. Slowly, gently, and with love.
All my love, light, and protection to you,
Comments
Anna Sarkissova
sending you strength Maddie you are a warrior
Amanda Mignault
Hi Maddie. I'm so sorry you're going through another rougher-than-normal time with your health. As someone with a myriad of chronic conditions I totally understand, and can only hope that the pain leaves you as quickly as possible. I also wanted to offer my services. I'm a teacher, writer, recorder, translator, proof reader, among other things. I'd love to help you draft posts, script videos, or anything on the business side I can help you with, free of charge. If you are interested in working with me, let me know and I'll send my number. Be well. - Amanda
