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Vol. 4 Chap. 22 Becoming Your Own Boss
🕑 Added 2023-12-05 17:00:05 +0000 UTCTruth sat Tony down behind the desk and shoved a recording crystal into his hand. “Go through everything you do in a day, everyone you call, all your relationships with your co-workers, all of it.”
“Do you have the faintest idea what that actually means? I don’t have “ordinary” days. Every day is completely booked, putting out fires, managing people, training people, figuring out strategy, managing political relationships, keeping an eye on suppliers and sales and marketing and… everything. Yes, I delegate. Or, I guess, “Daragah” delegates. But you have to supervise the people you delegated to. It’s an insane job.”
“Good thing I don’t want MegaShroom to survive, eh?” Truth “smiled.” Tony turned pale. “And I wasn’t asking.”
Truth fumed. He did have some ideas about how he wanted to do this, but he had to admit, now that he was here, they were pretty half baked. Did I want this to not work, at some level? To have the excuse to just… kill everyone and burn it all down?
<<Ah, good old moral justification. You can do literally anything with that. No crime to vile, no horror too great, if they made you do it.>>
I mean… Truth struggled to articulate what he was feeling. If it’s morally justified-
<You will notice that “justified” and “just” are related, but not identical, words. Or maybe you won’t notice. Most don’t. I think it’s all the water in the brains. All that fluid swishing and pooling, inflating the gelatinous mass of your organs. It can’t be good for critical thinking. And literacy was never your strong suit.>>
It has been a minute since I read something fun, now that you mention it.
<<Oh good, more softcore erotica for unfulfilled women. Your target demographic.>>
Are you feeling ok? That’s burn adjacent at best.
<<Honestly, no. Something very weird is going on, and I don’t think it’s just us.>>
Weird how?
The System was quiet for a moment and then made a frustrated noise. <<We are seeing… GAH! You don’t have the language to describe this well, which means I don’t either, moron! It’s system collapse meeting contingency plans. But nobody one-hundred-percent believed things would collapse so they half-assed the plans, and now all those contingencies have new urgency, so there is TON of money and labor getting shoved into things that were not terribly well designed in the first place! And the results are weird, and I think this building is the locus for something. Look at your damn feet! See if reality is on the bend.>>
Truth looked down. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He crouched down and squinted. Was there the tiniest little shimmer near the soles? Maybe. Or not.
“Hey Tony? Was there somewhere in the building “Daragah” was terrified of visiting, or you felt an aversion to? Some part of the building you just don’t remember ever seeing?”
“Not really? We don’t own this building- we lease it. We really try to minimize headcount at headquarters, feeling that the MegaShroom promise is of a world full of CEO’s, independent entrepreneurs-”
“You really did claw your way to the top of the pyramid, huh?”
Tony looked faintly ill. “Supreme Frozen Mythril Galactic Evangelist. One of only twenty in the company’s history. Some things become instinct.”
“Yeah. They do.” Truth vividly remembered his mom’s repeated insistence that she was a “business woman.”
“How long until the assassins or lawyers come?” Truth asked.
“I don’t know. We could just… run, you know.”
“That would be silly. In either case, they will be necessary.”
“Right. Sure. I’ll just get back to recording the information, then.”
Truth made a little humming noise of approval. He’d use the time to figure out how this would all plug together. His current best idea was to insert the former Barton in as his proxy CEO, and push a new scheme where “ambassadors” would be eligible for valuable discounts and prizes if they excelled in brand promotion… one of strong, nationalist, traditional, Jeon values, but with that forward looking MegaShroom twist.
“Hey, if you wanted to promote the idea of a modern take on a traditionalist lifestyle and outlook, what would you call it? TradMod?”
“No, just call it Traditional. Whatever you want promoted is “Traditional” and anything you want considered bad gets called “Modern.” It doesn't have to be real, or make sense. People will fill in the gaps on their own, make it “real.” Tony was pretty focused on the crystal, and didn’t see Truth’s face twitch.
“I see.”
Alright. Tradition. Nationalism. Aspiration. Security. Greed. And here we go, a straight shot to the Church of Praeger. Now, how to tie them to this? Given that he could plausibly have someone pretend to be a CEO for a while, but he really doubted that he could hijack an entire global religious hierarchy.
<<Oh, now you really are being stupid. “Tony” just told you. It doesn’t have to be real, for people to believe it’s real. It has to be plausible, something they already sort of believe.>>
So… what, just tell the “brand ambassadors” that this is part of their religious duties?
<<Naaah. That’s not what drives these morons. Have a “priest” start laying down the good word, explaining how being a horizontal marketing specialist who runs her own business and looks after her family is really following God’s will. If it picks up steam, the Church will adopt it themselves. The more you sow, the more you reap and all that. Lots of little paper cutouts to sell.>>
Truth settled in to wait, sneaking in a little practice with the Meditations. The secretary knocked, “Just checking in, no reason,” then went back to her desk.
“Lawyers and killers coming?” Tony asked.
“Mmm hmmm.”
Barely three minutes later, the door was kicked open and flashbangs thrown in. Truth grabbed them out of the air, threw them back, and shut the door behind them. The noise was… intense, even through the wall.
Then he was out and through. The hitters were pro enough- they were blinking hard, keeping their fetishes and needlers aimed on the door. The well dressed man at the back of the room was on the ground, not looking well at all.
Mostly coma and stun spells. Guess they wanted him alive. Ah well. Truth yanked a stun fetish out of its owners’ hands and jabbed it into their neck.
Level threes, well equipped and professional. A reasonable bet if they were going after a noncombatant Level Four. He had no particular need for these people to be alive or dead, but… maybe it was a baby step towards valuing others? It might make Etenesh happy? The Tongue wanted them dead. The spark from Etenesh didn’t seem to care either. Truth sighed and had them all knocked out in a few seconds. Counter ambushes are nasty that way.
He disarmed and cuffed the mercs, cuffed the suit, and hauled him into the office.
“Recognize him?”
“Ricardo Wu, our General Counsel.”
“Company’s chief lawyer. Figures.”
“An okay guy, actually. Even with everything.”
“He was going to eat you alive in a few months. He was, literally, going to eat you alive on the same conference room table you use practically every day.”
Tony looked sick. “Yeah, but you find ways to not think about that. He was always really pleasant in meetings. Very solution oriented. He brings in doughnuts for the staff on Fridays.”
<<I take it all back. I love it here. This is amazing. Let’s put Tony back under the geas, but this time working for you.>>
I swear I can still taste the pizza management left in the breakroom.
Truth propped up the moaning lawyer in one of the visitor’s chairs.
Load up that busted Hazel Wand of yours. Let’s see if we can’t at least fix his ears up.
<<Don’t want to try Cup and Knife?>>
Not unless I… you know what? Sure. Time on tools and all that.
Truth cast Cup and Knife. The lawyer was banged up a little, their ears and eyes were hurt, but no great harm done. The spell didn’t struggle much to correct whatever the problem was. Really, REALLY want to try and track down more information about the creator and this… Manda. This spell is awesome, but so damn unreliable that I have to be missing something crucial.
“There now. Attorney Wu. Would you like to explain why you just assaulted me?” Truth said.
“I beg your pardon?”
“That would be a start.” Truth nodded.
“Who are you, exactly? And why am I handcuffed?”
“Both questions have the same answer. I’m the man who currently has an attempted murder claim I can make against you personally and your company generally.”
Wu collected himself almost immediately. “Then by all means, call the police.”
Heh. Ballsy. Well, he’s not wrong- there is no way a cop would do more than collect a good sized bribe to forget this, and a bigger one to make me disappear.
“I prefer alternative dispute resolution. In your case, how would you feel about being paralyzed, laid on the conference room table, and eaten alive?”
Truth was waiting for the reaction and caught it just as the geas activated. Cup and Knife didn’t struggle quite so hard this time- less damage to repair, and less enchantment to break. Truth aimed the remnant curse at “anyone else who has this enchantment” and absolutely nothing happened. Dammit all. He pushed it back towards the sign. That seemed to work.
Hopefully the sign wouldn’t fall on someone. He’d feel pretty bad if someone got hurt because of that. It was just so… lazy.
“And back with us, Attorney Wu. Or do you have a different name?”
“No, my name is actually Ricardo Wu. Those asseholes!”
“Sold out by the board?”
“I was specifically hired by them because of, and I am quoting here, “My decades-long commitment to the highest standards of ethical and zealous representation” representing my clients.”
“Nasty. When did they get you?”
“No idea. I’ve been counsel here for twenty years now. Could have been almost any time.” Ricardo sagged in the chair.
Truth nodded at that. “Say, does this office space have any big ritual spaces or other hidden magical technology so profound, the board felt it was best not to inform Tony here?”
“Tony?” Ricardo looked confused. The former Daragah flipped him the double bird.
“Oh shit. Right, you were called Anthony… Wrench?”
“Wren, asshole. Don’t think I forgot about what was going to happen in a couple of months either. In retrospect, all those donuts and working lunches are looking pretty suspect.”
“The doughnuts were for staff, Daragah! Buy your own damn donuts.”
“The fuck you just call me, Ricky?”
Truth clapped loudly.
“Getting off topic here. Big ritual space. Or technology. Subtly warping the nature of the world in this place.”
“Oh. No. Well. Not really? We do have the conference room pretty heavily enchanted for… hopefully obvious reasons,” Ricardo explained. He shifted in his handcuffs and grimaced.
“Did you do the work in-house?”
“No, we contracted it out. Professional magical engineering outfit, specializing in custom builds. Not cheap, but very good quality.” Ricardo had the quiet pride of a man who had personally negotiated a very favorable contract.
Truth’s nose was twitching. He had a keen nose for a rat. “What was the name of the firm?”
“Anak and Sons. A Harban company. Big, beefy guys.” The slim Ricardo shuddered.
“And who’s idea was all of this?” Truth asked, the rodent odor now getting overwhelming.
“Well, our founder saw a market gap for-”
“You don’t need to walk out of here with two legs, Attorney, or at all. Focus.”
“Sorry, force of habit. Although it was actually the founder and current chairman of the board. Apparently he was at a conference, started a conversation at the bar with Ansusi Anank and the idea just made such good sense he felt like he had to do it. And in fairness, we have consistently exceeded our peer competitors in moderating executive compensation growth and retaining top talent.”
Comments
Ekko
This whole thing feels like an Ouroboros eating itself
Al
He's calling them assholes but with an italian accent.
Ryan Naquin
Chains all the way down
gostsamo
> Those asseholes! are we cursing british or american style here? choose one. :D
Wholly Anonymous
This series is basically Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath if the concept of divine judgment wasn’t a metaphor. I love it.
Deathly_God
Yooooo.... I'm loving this twist. Just like real life, chains on chains on chains. Everyone aims at the CEO dummies being propped up in front of the Investors, who are generally more rich assholes who are the fall guys for people richer than them. TFW you realize your entire economy is actually a massive MLM, and no one cares.
Addicted_Reader
LMAO. The entire economy is a bunch of mind controlled executives in a chain leading straight to Mr. Starbrite’s ass.
