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Chapter 98 The Beautiful Game

🕑 Added 2023-06-05 16:00:09 +0000 UTC

Comments

Josh Cothran

Except he looks nothing like Truth anymore xD

CMA27

Amazing chapter. Truths thoughts prior to responding to Etenesh were a little confusing because of the quotes. Until you read the next paragraph, you think he’s actually replying with all of those thoughts haha. Not sure if it could be structured differently gramatical or if that was the intent.

Nonnyor Business

Still laughing after reading this.

Chillitsagame

Traitor Truth Medici was spotted fleeing the scene from a terrorist attack near Old Mek'Elle. Witnesses state that a daemon portal was opened, claiming the lives of men, women, and children who came to support their local sports team. Terrorist Traitor Truth (TTT) was seen interacting with a daemon portal, and then escaping before authorities could cordon off the area. As you can see folks, this is the life of someone who has betrayed his people, betrayed Starbright, and betrayed the System Astrologica. Give thanks to the brave men and women of Starbright who keep us safe. Use coupon code I.HATE.TRUTH to receive 10% off on your next purchase of Starbright Soda.

gostsamo

don't forget to fix in the rr texts, btw :)

Nonnyor Business

Good catch, fixed.

gostsamo

Well, I'll dig into your action insecurities and will say that the scene was a bit choppy, especially with the stadium showing up out of nowhere in the span of a sentence. Will admit the wisdom of saying sorry after winning an argument though. Edit suggestion: > They faster than me, they were

William Jackson

100% makes sense, action tends to be cutting the scene down to just the "actors" and making actions that would take two words in a line fill a paragraph. You do an amazing job of building a scene from 0 with nothing but setting and dialogue -- things feel like they're happening in the world around them, and they're interacting with it, not the other way around Truths internal thoughts are as important as the action happening, which doesn't translate well to "concise action" -- a lot of that fight even was Truth's thoughts and how the scene was unfolding around him. But it works, the style of this story lends itself more towards that style of action than John wick style blow for blow scenes. That said none of that was a criticism, just analysis, love this story and I think this chapter was overall a banger.. but that could just be because I was eagerly awaiting it, lol

Nonnyor Business

Thank you, and quite right. All I can say is tune in tomorrow, same time, same channel...

Nonnyor Business

Thank you very much! It was a complete pain in the ass to write, actually. Fight scenes take me about four times as long as dialog. Odd, but true.

AnthraxRipple

Great chapter, though being famous in this case seems like it would be fairly dangerous for several reasons.

William Jackson

Amazing as always warby!


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