WarbyPicus
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Weeaboo Vol. 2 Chap. 31 But What Does It All Mean?
🕑 Added 2024-11-11 17:00:13 +0000 UTCIt took a remarkably long time for my brain to start working again. What had been that monster at the end? What was that… skull-moon? Usually when there is a creepy skull, it’s a human skull. Not this time. I don’t know what the hell that thing was. Is. Christ.
Too much of this mountain felt… like something I shouldn’t be in contact with. Lord Welcome- whatever it was, it was far, far beyond some little cannibal ghost a wandering saint converted. The Woodcutter’s Wife was too strong for us to suppress at our current level. Were we expected to come back later? Or had I completely missed some vital element of the whole puzzle.
And what was with that surprise boss moon monster at the end? And the absurd effects of Miyuki’s arrows on the ghosts?
I tried to put the pieces together into some kind of recognisable shape. The first I had heard of Hidden Moon Mountain was when I had drawn Miyuki randomly from the pool. Though the word “randomly” is pretty suspect, these days. After that was drawing Rikka. Then I got the costume from Cutthroat Clothiers, which introduced the rest of the Awakened from the mountain.
But… it wasn’t just the Whistling Death costume or whatever that Miyuki was wearing. There were some garbage cosmetic costumes too, because of an industry collaboration GOD DAMN IT!
“OH GOD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!”
“Tower Master!?”
I waved Othai off. It was all a set up. It was all an ‘organic’ intro to an already set up industry collaboration. A fashion company, a different game, Necromancer Anime Crossover, whatever. I’d bet money that freaky skull thing was something to do with the sponsor. And the backstory about the Young Lord didn’t come completely out of nowhere, but given that Mrs. Hungry was introduced as a storyteller, I would have imagined the complete ‘story’ behind them all being there would have emerged organically at some point.
Wait… they didn’t act like they knew each other, particularly. Yoko and Mrs. Hungry did, and Rikka and Miyuki did, but the two groups didn’t see each other and suddenly go “Oh my God! It’s been so long, how have you been? Let’s drink bloody Mary’s and other Instagram appropriate bonding activities.”
Or whatever former co-workers who were unjustly terminated and driven from their home cities together onto the same mountain do.
Are they… characters from another game? Is that what this is? Is their current personality a riff on an established character? Like if Naruto turned up, but he was a furry fox boy or something.
My thoughts slipped away for a minute. I looked over at Yoko and her bangs. There wasn’t much similarity beyond the black hair and the bangs, but-
“The girl with X-Ray vision picked Naruto, while all the other girls were going crazy over Sasuke. And the telepath girl gets over her crush on Sasuke the second she runs into someone who looks even kind of similar to him.”
“My Lord?” Miyuki asked.
“Not sure if that says more about Naruto or Sasuke or the women of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, really. But we have to assume that Hinata was a stone freak, given that she for-sure knew about Naruto’s clone jutsu and his transformation jutsu. Frankly, the most unlikely thing in the whole series, exceeding even a blond, blue eyed, orange clad shouty kid being a master of the stealthy arts of the ninja, was that Hinata only had two kids, and both of them were Narutos’.”
“My Lord, I’m afraid I have no idea what you mean. I apologize for my foolishness.”
I sighed.
“No need to apologize. I was being foolish too. Say what you like, but Hinata was dead loyal. Those doujinshi creators have done her dirty. ” I locked back in.
Was the double-negative arrow thing a glitch, or the expected route? Because that was the other big turning point. The whistling arrows would have been expected, but the Ghost Touch potion was something cooked up in Gradden March. Was there another route to get the same effect? Something on the mountain that I missed?
It came to me. I covered my face with my hands.
The. Goddamn. Cash. Shop.
“Stuck at the final boss? For a mere $9.99, you can open ten Hidden Moon Treasure Caches that could give you the decisive edge! For those with VIP 3 status and above, the package is discounted to $8.57 for the next six hours!”
It must be something like that. All these collabs are like that. I’m just amazed there wasn’t a special event currency or something.
I exhaled hard through my nose, keeping the bridge pinched.
Let's assume that this was the intended route, and that this was the intended climax of the mini-arc. Mrs. Hungry’s transformation should therefore be, more or less like what happened with Madame becoming Carousel.
I looked over at Mrs. Hungry. Looked like the jury was still out on “Intentional v. Accidental.”
Mrs. Hungry looked stuck, and not in a fun way. I could see the original character design trying to manifest. A bit of a stereotypical cook, with MILFy overtones and a deeply worrying meathook/cleaver combo for weapons. It wasn’t my exact cup of tea, but it was pretty great. A nice balance of nurturing and yandere. I appreciated the vision. I was less a fan of the other vision.
The other vision looked like a work in progress from Westworld, and they were doing the Japan park, and they decided to have a creepy Buddhist nun. For reasons.
Show fell off real hard after Season 1.
I shook my head hard, refusing to let my mind wander. I knew I was doing that more and more these days. Mrs. Hungry was like a partially materialized ghost haunting the haunted doll that was Mrs. Hungry. The ghost was the Nun, the happy-ish homemaker was the physical body. Both clearly the same person, yet not. It was eye-watering trying to look at her. Them. Hell.
Could the ghost be some remnant of the original Mrs. Hungry, before she got tagged with that absurd name? I could imagine it- banished from the castle to a mountain full of starving people. She wanted to retreat from the world, and devote herself to a god. Her daughter was unwilling to let go of her anger and still wanted to exterminate all demons and devils, yet now terrified of saying the wrong thing.
The most interesting thought was that I managed to jam the system somehow. That- My brain skidded.
“WE MISSED A WHOLE DAMN CHARACTER!” I roared. “THE GODDAMN INNKEEPER!”
I saw Othai share a nervous look with Versai, but I waved them down. “Look, how many named places are there on this mountain? You have the Heartless Clearing, The Woodcutter’s Hut, Mrs. Hungry’s House, The Old Temple, and Fragrant Bamboo Inn. We, I, just thought it was a place to stop and get pointed in the direction of the plot. But what if the Innkeeper or one of his creepy guests had a way to deal with the ghosts in the Hungry Clearing? The, I don’t know, the Fog Clearing Lantern or something?”
That got me more thoughtful looks. “Think about it. We turned up, listened to some creepy stories, and left. We didn’t explore the inn at all, and we barely talked to the Innkeeper. We have no way of knowing just what we missed there. I’d bet there was at least three missions hidden in there where we would basically have to live through ghost stories.”
I wanted to dig a hole, jump in it and pull the dirt back over myself. It was the absolute basics of every open world RPGs since at least Zelda. You talk to everyone. You check every room. You smash every pot looking for rupees. But I was so focused on speed running the place that I neglected the absolute classic starting point for every adventure story- meeting in the inn.
“No. No, I refuse to believe it!”
“Tower Master, please, what is wrong?!”
“I am trying an experiment. If I refuse to believe something hard enough, can I rewrite local reality?”
“No!” Versai sounded really upset. Which is fair.
“No. I can’t. I think I might have screwed up, Versai. But at least nobody died because of it.” I looked back up at the big VICTORY sign in the sky. There were fireworks too. They really popped against the dark of the sky. The next time I saw this mountain, it would be in the perpetual daylight of my Sky Realm.
DING!
Congratulations! You have successfully acquired the Hidden Moon Mountain Ruin Site. Your Sky Realm has expanded! Hidden Moon Mountain specialty weapons, equipment, armor and outfits now available for purchase.
All the Hunters of Hidden Moon Mountain assisted you in the final battle! They will now join your Tower. Congratulations on recruiting Miyuki, Rikka, Yoko and ($$&&&$!!!.
Ah Hell. Glitch it is.
The sky throbbed. We were unceremoniously ejected from the mountain and returned to the Tower. There was a moment… It wasn’t scary, it was just… there was a moment and then in the next moment I had the certain knowledge that time had passed and something had changed but I couldn’t say how much time or what had happened.
I noticed the treasure chest, singular, sitting near the notice board. No Atrocity Mode multiplier this time, so the rewards would be a lot less bountiful. And since I had already unlocked all those things that came with capturing my first relic site, those weren’t there either.
Mmm. I still haven’t figured out that Nightmare Realm of Trials thing either. No idea where that’s supposed to be used.
Eh. It would turn up.
My notice board was flashing. I walked over and tapped the glowing dot. I felt numb. As I tapped it, I realized- I felt numb. There was just too much. I needed a break. A long break.
Developer Update-
There was a brief suspension of game services when we patched a bug discovered in the Hidden Moon Mountain Relic Site. If you have already completed the Site, this bugfix won’t affect you. Please accept our apology gifts for the service interruption.
Five rare resource packs, five Frozen Diamonds, and three hundred Resonance Crystals. I nodded seriously.
“I forgive you for the service interruption. Other things, not so much. But I’ll let the service interruption slide.”
“Yoko, Mrs. Hungry, to the Throne Room please.”
I collapsed into the recliner. I could feel the cool energy of the Tower pouring into me, refreshing me. And it was good, and helpful, but I needed rest. I had seen awful things. Awful things. Things that should not exist in a human mind had been forcibly pressed down into my memory. The crushing reality of them seemed to weigh on the rest of my mind.
Would I be like Rock Lee when I took off the weights? Suddenly far more powerful? More agile? More my true self?
He still got packed up by Gara, though. Amazing fight, but the literal try-hard kid got crushed by the nepo-baby with the demon inheritance. There’s the perfect image of the second Gilded Age. If you try your best, have the support of friends and excellent teachers and use the best equipment you can afford, it still won’t be enough to overcome a single silver spoon.
I really, really need to rest. It hurts to think. I can feel the cool energy falling on me like a waterfall.
Yoko and Mrs. Hungry walked in. Yoko looked absolutely darling in her green Yukata, white tabi, and geta. Not everyone can make bangs work. She could. I forced a smile. She would be amazing to see in new costumes later. When I wasn’t so tired.
Mrs. Hungry was here too- buxom lines and a completely period inappropriate leggings and sweater dress outfit, covered with an apron. There was some eye-searing pattern worked into the seams of the dress- doubtless the logo of the sponsoring company. Honestly, she looked amazing. On an intellectual level I could appreciate that she looked amazing. She was a walking dream for teenage boys everywhere. I’d appreciate her properly later.
“Welcome aboard. In a minute, I’ll send you to find the dorms so you can get some R and R. In the meantime, please report your start rank and class. Yoko, you go first.”
“Yes. Reporting to the Lord, I am the Five Star Yoko. I am a support type, using my incense to protect my comrades from evil influences, somewhat strengthening them with Incense Power, and the holy scent also weakens demons, devils, evil spirits and monsters.”
Woah! My first Five Star, and she’s a monstrous all-around supporter. Fantastic!
“Amazing! Welcome aboard!”
“Thank you, My Lord. I promise not to make any mistakes in your service!”
Aaaand there we go. Exhaustion comes crashing straight back in.
“And you, Mrs. Hungry?”
“Six Stars, My Lord. I am a front line fighter, but I am best used on defense.”
I mean… this is a tower defense game. Everyone is on defense. But I understood what she meant.
“Could you elaborate on that please?”
“Yes. I have two special abilities- Family Meal and Grand Feast. With Family Meal, once I kill five enemies, I can ‘feed’ other Awakened within a few paces of me. This gives a certain amount of healing, and some small enhancements to their fighting ability.”
“Oh nice- hybrid melee attacker and heal/support. That’s pretty great. What’s the second ability?”
“Once all of us Hunters of Hidden Moon Mountain have killed one hundred enemies, I can use Grand Feast. All the Awakened on the battlefield are significantly healed and get large improvements to their fighting ability.”
Oh hoh! That does bring a small smile to my face. “Excellent stuff. Really. I can’t wait to watch you in action. Six Stars get their own special dorm rooms thanks to our Deluxe dorms, so please- go enjoy them.”
“By your leave, My Lord.” Yoko and Mrs. Hungry chorused and left. The throne room emptied out, leaving silence.
I feel battered. I want to rest. My store-brand recliner was incredibly comfortable, but this was my ‘office.’ I needed a little work-life balance. And the Awakened weren’t the only ones with their own deluxe accommodations. I had a whole house.
The Tower Master’s Quarters was tucked into the back of the Map Room. I walked past the insanely large map table (taking a moment to appreciate just how small a corner of it had been explored) and into the dunes that lined the room. I had to keep reminding myself that all this was inside a tower that I could walk around in a few minutes. The TARDIS effect was quite something. It really was bigger on the inside.
Around a sand dune and into a little hidden courtyard. Mud walls worked with the desert theme. There was a beehive shaped structure on one side whose use I had never figured out, and an L shaped building filled the back left quarter of the space. It had that same ancient Egyptian feel, luxurious polished wood, whitewashed walls and little paintings and murals of astonishing color and brightness.
The bed was slightly angled upward, so the padded wooden ‘cushion’ raised your head a few inches above your feet. There wasn’t much of a mattress to speak of. It didn’t matter. I couldn’t sleep. Physically couldn’t sleep. That did matter, but not as much as it once did. I walked over to my bed, got as comfortable as I could and closed my eyes.
The cooling energy of the Tower kept pouring down on me, and I tried to empty my mind and let it do its work.
It didn’t work as well as I hoped. Thoughts always seemed to come past, crawling or flying along.
Avoidant behavior. That was the term I had read- avoidant behavior. A therapy-speak way of saying “trying to avoid thinking about or dealing with your problems.” Also, here in the darkness behind my eyes, I think it’s past time to admit I was accumulating trauma that I wasn’t really dealing with. For some reason, the horrible things I had seen and done weren't hitting me as hard as they should be. But the scars were accumulating.
What do you do when your struggle seems endless, but you have a seemingly endless amount of time to contemplate it all? I kept thinking of all those Tower Masters Versai served who lost most of their Awakened in an early wave. They would just… stop the clock. Not advance to the next day until they were ready to die. Just endless subjective time in the frozen objective time the game world imposed.
Subjective days, months, years, of slowly giving into despair. To finally coming to terms with the only rational option- suicide, the only way this world would permit. Suicide by monster.
Was this it? Was this all there was? An eternity of cheering myself along, keeping the faith, keeping on fighting the good fight until one day I decided to find out what dreams may come?
In a world with necromancers and ghosts, even that seemed like a dangerous gamble. Not to mention that I would be permanently killing everyone from Gradden March and Hidden Moon Mountain too. Seemed… unfair. But then, fairness had no part in any of this.
What a nightmare. What an absolute nightmare.
I could feel the darkness closing in on me. The darkness behind my eyes getting darker and blacker still. I found myself passively waiting for oblivion to take me.
WELCOME TO YOUR NIGHTMARE!
The Realm of Trials is now open. Moohohahahahaha.
“OH COME ON!”
Comments
phantom
And he tried that already. He tried every crafting exploit he could think of and the best he came up with is sawdust. Cutting it into "blanks" is still processing the material and it is not allowed.
austin kutz
I don't mean for him to craft things himself, but rather create blanks that can then be turned into weapons and/or tools, or failing that, stationary defenses
Leaf
Can’t even despair in this place without having to play a mini game.
phantom
He can't. Efforts to craft only result in trash or outright nothing. The monsters worked fine because he was only moving resources.
austin kutz
So we don't get to see the MC painstakingly chopping various sized blocks and rods of nearly unbreakable metal for a subjective eternity in the hopes that they can be made into proper weapons? I'm kinda disappointed. Even if it would have driven closer to insanity it would still give him a pretty decisive edge for the next 5 to 10 waves
phantom
Wooo. Challenge place.
