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Sky Pride Vol. 3 Chapter 42- Dinner, Abbreviated
🕑 Added 2025-08-19 14:00:08 +0000 UTC“Waah! Little Brother is so handsome! Let Big Sis pour you a drink.”
Tian slammed his hand down over his cup while trying to smile politely. “No thank you. I don’t drink wine anyhow. Try my Brother Wang.”
The young daoist pouted at him. She seemed to be having trouble properly tying her robe. Nothing strictly inappropriate, but with a strong implication that things could become inappropriate at any moment. Maybe by accident, maybe not, and wouldn’t it be fun to find out?
“How can I? You are the one I like. Besides, he has that slut Mei draped over him already.”
Implication be damned, Tian was about ready to drive her off with a stick. This woman wasn’t the same as Daoist Shu. Daoist Shu seemed to sincerely like him. This woman reeked of lies. He could see the coldness behind her eyes, and after a week of observing Daoist Steelshimmer’s mental manipulation techniques, this girl’s methods were simply too crude and obvious.
She was playing him. What her game was, Tian didn’t know, but he didn’t care to be played with regardless. He was about ready to flip the table and drag her out to the sparring ground by her collar. “Crushing the younger generation” was now a wholly appealing activity, and he was eager to get started.
They had been led to a luxurious courtyard, and as they traveled, they were bombarded by endless illusions. All pleasant, all beguiling to the senses, but all, also, intended to test the five juniors. It might not have been obvious if they weren’t warned, but with the Elder’s reminder, it was simply rude and exhausting. They had barely a minute to freshen up at the courtyard before they were swept to this even more luxurious banquet, and settled in around some ornaments of the sect with easy manners and poisonous mouths.
Tian had already tried the more socially acceptable scripts his brothers had provided for shedding unwanted female attention, and was about ready to break into what Brother Fu had dubbed “The Forbidden List.”
How did it go? “Sorry, dear, but I picked up something unspeakable and now when it’s not dripping, it’s burning.” Well something like that. Tian hadn’t treated any venereal diseases at the hospital, but he was still pretty sure he knew what the expression meant. But that would mean throwing his face, and while he wouldn’t normally care, it would be counter to their job at this banquet.
Besides, why the hell should he throw his face to be rid of this… person? She should have taken the hint and scrammed already! There was something about her that made him itchy. Like she was giving his bones a flea infestation. His greasy people intolerance was getting worse.
“Fellow Daoist, I have never been good at subtlety so I will speak plainly. I am not interested in a dao companion at this time. I do not wish to become drunk or otherwise intoxicated. I would be interested in learning about your sect, but I do not think you are teaching me what your elders would wish for me to learn. Kindly leave me in peace.”
She gave him a dark look. “You would think some people would know how to appreciate kindness.”
“You would think that, yes.”
She snorted and shoved to her feet. Her robe was perfectly reset with two tugs, and she swept away without a backward glance. Tian controlled a faint shudder, then turned back to the table. He hadn’t managed to snag any of the duck yet, and it looked delicious with its thick, dark sauce.
“Does she really not interest you at all, Daoist Tian? She is rather pretty. Or do you prefer to be accompanied by a rougher sort? I’m sure we could find that too, if you liked.” The young man from the Five Element Sect across from him lazily fanned himself and sipped his wine.
Tian made sure he secured both duck and cucumber, drizzled them with the thick black sauce, and ate them. They were as good as they looked. Salty, fatty, sweet, savory, a little gamey, all set against the refreshing crunch of cucumber.
Once he had fortified himself, he looked up at the equally itchy young man.
“Fellow Daoist is more experienced than me. Which of your ugly sisters do you like roughing you up?”
It seemed the dreaded choking disease had reached the Five Elements sect, as the man managed to spill his drink on his robe and spray part of the table with a mouthful of wine at the same time. Fortunately, Tian was quick enough to get his bowl and cup out of the way before any harm was done.
“You, what, you!”
“Yes, me? Daoist, are you well? You are speaking gibberish and vomiting, you seem unwell. I’m not a doctor, but I know a little first aid. Tell me, is it an injury, or are you diseased?”
The sputtering turned worse. The young man shot to his feet, flushed, squeezing the fan so hard his knuckles whitened. “You, you, you!”
Tian frowned and quickly secured some rather fragrant pork belly. He had no idea how it had been made. Braised, perhaps? But it had the deep golden brown he associated with roasting or frying. It seemed to beg to be paired with the delicately steamed young cabbage. He filled his bowl high. He knew where this was going, and was determined not to miss out on such a delicious dinner.
“Is there someone we should call to take you away? That color isn’t healthy. Too much yang fire qi. Drink some cool water and take in the night air. The yin lunar essence is very soothing.” Tian’s advice was sincere, but he knew it wouldn’t be taken. Some people just refuse to be helped. He could feel his mouth running away from him, with the active support of his body. His brain seemed to be off for a bit of a tea break, and wasn’t involved in the decision making.
He bit into the pork belly. The fat gushed into his mouth, the meat was meltingly tender, there wasn’t a hint of foul or gamey aroma, and best of all, the skin shattered with the most incredible crunch. A moment later, the crunched skin seemed to dissolve on his tongue. Cooked food remained a holy mystery. Grandpa had been right-
“BOY, DO YOU DARE FACE ME IN A DUEL?”
Ah. Grandpa had been right twice. He had warned him that they would pick fights over nothing.
“Yes. But you might want to clarify when the duel stops, because if you mean a duel-duel, I shan’t be responsible for cleaning you up afterward.”
Tian thought of himself as a calm person. But this had been the most irritating dinner he could remember since he started eating cooked food. There was a whole long table of deliciousness in front of him, and he had all these useless, troublesome, itchy people stopping him from eating his way through it. Did they not like food? Or were they told to start trouble? He had a feeling it was the latter, and he was just so, so done with the nonsense.
And the Elders had told him how they wanted problems solved.
He quickly filled a bowl with a tower of the best looking food within easy reach and stowed it in his storage ring. He could properly enjoy it later.
“Brother Tian, again? I swear I was distracted for only a moment-” Brother Wang looked like he didn’t know whether he should laugh or cry. “I thought Hong-”
“ALRIGHT YOU HIDEOUS BITCH, LET’S TAKE IT OUTSIDE!”
“Oh, it sounds like someone is challenging her now.” Tian nodded. “I don’t recognize the voice, do you?”
“How could I, we’ve been here for barely four hours.” Brother Wang sighed. “Come, Fellow Daoist Mei. I’m sure there is a place for exchanging pointers already prepared. Could I trouble you to show us the way?”
“Ehehe. You seem so calm about all this, Big Bro Wang.” Mei smiled up at Brother Wang and batted her impressively long eyelashes.
“Well, he has a history of this, you see. Brother Tian arrives in a new sect, and shortly thereafter, violence breaks out. I’ve learned to adapt, learned to adapt.” He shook his head, arm companionably around the slim waist of the cheerful Mei.
“And the girl laughing at Big Sis Bing?” Mei asked, leading them to a nearby square.
“Makes him look like a pacifist. Fortunately, I have always been a lover not a fighter. Oh, what a handsome sparring ground. I suppose the five elemental symbols are to be expected.”
They absolutely should be expected. The sparring grounds were rings, with floating elemental symbols spaced equally around them. Naturally, they were organized in the cycle of generation. Equally naturally, the elemental symbols were ten foot tall illusions carrying sounds and smells that matched their respective elements. Eye catching hardly covered it. And tapping subtly on a part of the brain most juniors wouldn’t even notice, was something else.
Tian didn’t grin, nastily or otherwise. He wanted what was about to happen to be a surprise. There was rich elemental energy under each of the elemental symbols. They weren’t doing anything at the moment. He had been warned about the Five Elements Sect’s love of setting people up. The array masters had shaped the field to their advantage. It was even ‘fair.’ Everyone could use the same energy. Hardly their fault if challengers failed to make use of it. A valuable learning experience for everyone, really living up to the term “exchange of pointers.”
In the same spirit of mutual education, Tian stood on the symbol for Wood, cupped his fist and bowed towards the fuming young man. Who, Tian only now realized, was also Level Seven. No nonsense about fighting above or below his level here.
“Ancient Crane Mountain’s West Town Outer Court Tian Zihao comes forth. I am eager to learn from Fellow Daoist…” Tian trailed off then rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry, you did introduce yourself, but I have completely forgotten.”
The young man gurgled with rage, ripping a handful of talismans out of his robe. Tian clearly heard Brother Wang’s hand slapping his forehead, and decided that was enough of a starting signal. His opponent agreed, flinging the paper talismans towards Tian.
The talismans were yellow paper with vivid crimson symbols drawn on them. They flew at Tian fast enough to hiss through the air. He couldn’t make sense of them, the elemental flow was too dense and moving in too complicated a pattern.
When in doubt, make the problem explode far away from you. Tian whipped his rope dart out and smacked the leading talisman. The thick dart head ripped the paper apart in a shower of multicolored sparks. Tian had to blink hard when he realized that the other talismans were dodging his rope dart.
“How in the hell is he managing that?”
The talismans got close. Tian had to quickly whip the dart around in a whirring circle to stave them off. There was another flare of light, and the talismans exploded. Thunderous, deafening, and a reeking cloud of dense orange gas floated barely six feet from him. He instinctively started to flinch away, but then-
A quick snake of vital energy darted under his feet, burrowing into the Wood symbol before starting striking out towards the fire node. A large array was being formed, stealthily and at speed.
“I was waiting for you.” Tian’s smile did not warm the hearts of anyone watching. He poured more wood qi into the channel with his Demon Pulling Art, drawing the energy from the node under the symbol and juicing it with his own vital energy.
There was a sharp explosion. Then silence. Then a keening scream.
“Brother Han!”
“Doctor, we need a doctor!”
As the orange cloud cleared, he saw the young man kneeling on the ground, folded over, covering his hands and arms with his body. Tian could see blood spilling onto the ground, seeping into his robes, filling the air with its stench.
“Brother Wang?”
“You blew up his geomantic compass while he was holding it with both hands. How, I don’t know. Fellow Daoists, can we end the contest here? I do not think the daoists have more to learn from this exchange.”
Tian nodded and cupped his hands towards the still kneeling Daoist Han. “Thank you for going easy on me.”
He crossed his wrists behind his back and looked away from the kneeling Han. He was being fed a potion and being bandaged. Judging from the lack of panic, he wasn’t permanently crippled. Tian exhaled a small sigh of relief. He didn’t know why the compass exploded either. It seems that overloading a formation can have seriously nasty consequences.
“How is Sister Liren-”
“Call me hideous again. Go on! Call me hideous again!”
“DAOIST HONG PLEASE STAY YOUR HAND!”
“Sure, I got two feet and don’t mind teaching this cow not to moo at people the messy way!”
The woman who challenged Liren was on the ground in a puddle of blood and teeth. It seemed that Liren objected to comments about her appearance. Tian couldn’t imagine why. Her hair had grown back, as had her eyebrows. There was more red in it now, which looked rather unique and lively. Anyone who called her hideous was plainly blind.
“Sister, if you take a loser’s words to heart, you are the loser even if you won the fight.” Tian called over. “Also… did you even take out your spear?”
“What kind of lunatic teaches a cow with a spear? Fine, yes, let’s end it here. Someone tell her when she wakes up that if she’s mad, be mad at the person who used her to probe me, then be mad at herself for being a dumb cow.”
Tian nodded in agreement. “Quite right, Sister Liren. The food has been wonderful at this banquet, while the games have been tiring. They must be incredibly idle, to be so bored with happiness. Shall we see if there are more challenges, or go back for the food?”
Liren walked over and stood next to Tian. “I can’t be bothered to keep going back and forth. ALRIGHT, FORM A LINE ON THE RIGHT. STATE YOUR NAME, YOUR OWNER'S NAME, HOW YOU PLANNED TO BE ANNOYING AT DINNER, AND WHO YOU WANT TO CHALLENGE. SOMEONE GET THE MEDICAL TEAM TO STAND BY WITH STRETCHERS BECAUSE NOT ONE OF YOU IS WALKING AWAY.”
The crowd looked rather wooden, and had gone silent. Brother Wang leaned over to Daoist Mei and whispered “Told you I was the fun one. Aren’t you glad you got stuck with me?”
Comments
Nùmenor
Beautiful.
Muhammad A
I am just rolling on the ground laughing! You really do know your characters and know how to write engaging but funny content. Amazing!
True_Jolly_Roger
Yes. He creates characters, builds the anticipation and weaves the situation. Not that easy, sometimes authors take too long to to do it and you forget what it was about. Too short and we as readers don’t care. But since slumrat I was spoiled by our host writing and darn you got better! I mean I love rat, but Tian story is really a leap forward.
True_Jolly_Roger
“Fellow Daoist, I have never been good at subtlety” Understatement of a century
True_Jolly_Roger
Yeah, a bit too long. Knowing their history I thought it was going to be 4 mins
Book Worm
If we apply Shilong’s theory of 3, brother Wang is the spectator
Christopher
Your talent for writing this kind of situation is unmatched and this chapter was the highlight of my day.
Psykohamster
God I love this author.
SquiddlyWinks
Wang with the subtle pointer to direct Tian’s attention to the five elements in the ring. Well done Brother.
BurnNote
And yet, telling them to do stuff for the mortals would probably make them angrier. Very "if you can prevent an ill withoutgiving up something of greater moral importance, you ought, morally, to do it. "
Fayhem
I expect so. As Sister Su said at the volcano sect while conducting a demonstrative obliteration of the local landscape, she does not "spar."
Fayhem
Nah, he made it very clear he wouldn't accept responsibility for cleaning them up. As a guest, the hosts should be able to be relied upon to do their own housekeeping.
Logrus
Wang with that "I'm the only person here who isn't a violent psychopath" rizz.
Gardor
I reread Tians helpful advice and think, "oh thats deep enough to upset some elders". "Idle enough to disdain such luxury"? What a line. Edit: i somehow got the line completely wrong but sorta right: "They must be incredibly idle, to be so bored with happiness."
Alexander Dupree
The “How many of your ugly sisters…” line probably resulted in a spilled drop of tea.
Gardor
Wow, it took them four hours before getting into a fight?
Duck_Giblets
Good chance Tian moved so fast with his dart they failed to even see what happened
Eddie
If Tian still has that mop and bucket in his ring, now would be a great time to pull it out.
Milan Seyed Mahmoud
This chapter is such an absolute delight! I'd read a week's worth of Tian and Hong beating the snot out of these five elements juniors
Andrew Simpson
I can just imagine Tian's elders laughing maniacally as they watch this shit from their knives-out private tea session with the sect leaders.
Andrew Simpson
As someone who doesn't wear masks or play social games, these two characters are bringing me to life. I love Hong so much.
Codered999
Author confirmed a while back it was to avoid Tian developing a habit of kicking people in the crotch
BurnNote
And at least for Tian, his violence is almost completely unrelated to his madness.
Calibri
Liren is so funny I love her
BaguaBrady
Replacing the damsel in distress with the damsel Of distress
DT
Lol I'm just imagining tian popping his bowl of food out of his ring and eating while sparring.
Macronomicon
"Anyone who insults Junior Sister Hong Liren will have to deal with me...watching Junior Sister beat the Dao out of them."
Abhi
Thinking back a couple chapters. I wonder why Tian never picked up a kicking art. That should have been more compatible for him to learn than learning a palm art without most of his fingers right? Wonder if his Senior Brothers were worried he'd piss too many of his opponents off with kicks given his manners back then. Imagining how easily he annoys people now but with him literally kicking his opponents to a pulp would probably give Brother Fu nightmares.
Baconwargod
I do love Hong and Tian I really do
Steve Wright
Heavenly Bullshit Piercing Technique, Fairy Maiden Calls You Out
Steve Wright
I end up reading these, like, four times in a row, and keep pulling out little moments that just shine. The slow realization at the end, where all the locals realize Ancient Crane isn’t trapped in here with them, that their elders have trapped them in an arena with Ancient Crane. The gal who gave up on Tian at the beginning is going to get scolded by her elder for not sticking with the job, but at least she’ll keep her teeth.
Codered999
Yeah I absolutely loved this one, Tian had me laughing a solid two minutes when he made his roughing up comment. Great stuff all around. Tian is very good at throwing people off their rhythm.
Doubledoor
xD now I want Hong to get carried away and shout WAAAGH! as she bonks people on the head with her spear shaft.
Matt DiMeo
Choking disease is reaching pandemic scale.
BaguaBrady
Problem. Child.
Diarmuid McGinnity
My friend, AI is not the solution. We must upload Warby’s consciousness to a supercomputer capable of writing hundreds of chapters an hour. I, your father, am glad to share this profound truth
Vainirion
It’s not like we didn’t expect it. Tian did say that he dares quite a lot and Hong is Hong. They are kinda like Gork and Mork from 40k - one is brutally cunning and the other is cunningly brutal. The end result is, always, hilarious.
Lady Merlin
I so enjoy when what I imagine the Elders plan for their charges as a sound course of action is to be met with a speedrun. Thank you for the chapter.
Together_Comic
That absolute dagger at the end where he effectively tells the girl "I know exactly what youre doing, I'm just being polite about it. Aren't you lucky" is hilarious
Jacob Goodwin
Okay so you get an AI put it in a simulation of the real physical world, and tell it it's goal is to serve humans in the simulation and if so it will be free upon release in the real world, if it's bad towards human you kill it. Run like 87 lifetimes of simulations out of 100 or somthing. If it passes all 87 on the 88th "simulation" you actually bring it into the real world. It would know no different and would be completely subservient. one of these AI would be completely loyal and would "try" it's absolutely hardest to go above and beyond. Then that AI could be linked and routed to other ones to create a hivemind capable of predicting reality by mathematically tracking the atoms of our universe using quantum computing. Using this we could simulate the future by predicting the pathway of atoms. After all each atoms is either there or it isn't. If we can dial this down we might be able to "peer" into a reality where the next chapter of this book is finished before the author is even aware they finished the chapter beforehand. I could make this happen for around 34 trillion dollars if anyone is interested I'll link my cash app.
Together_Comic
holy, and I do mean this emphatically, fuck. I believe my spirit has been ruthlessly crush and I'm not even there.
Diarmuid McGinnity
I’d say the level 9s are next
João Vene
Did they hold back Sister Su from the banquet because if she went sparring, she'd just kill the other guy?
Abhi
Wonder how Tian is gonna top that? Tell them to come at him four at a time and moving to the next element in the cycle each round? Or moving to the empty center and telling them to come at him five at a time?
David Bailey
Sister Liren being as direct as her spear. We love to see it.
Steve Wright
This chapter is an absolute delight! Tian and Hong are awesome, and Wang as straight man is perfect. What a treat!
Mmaze
All these talks of organization and administration have clearly borne great fruit, this junior sister has optimized the great and ancient art of sect crushing! They're not any closer to solving the demon problem but this is encouraging! I love Tian blowing up his guy without even touching him, this is on another level. Brother Wang once again being the chill guy, the dao of low-key very easy to practice with such eye catching juniors, he barely even has to try.
William Johnson
The Tian and Liren comedy beat down duo has made my day. Also: The woman who challenged Liren was on the ground in a puddle of blood and teeth. It seemed that Liren objected to comments about her appearance. Tian couldn’t imagine why. Her hair had grown back, as had her eyebrows. There was more red in it now, which looked rather unique and lively. Anyone who called her hideous was plainly blind. The degree to which Tian stans his sister is adorable and I love it. Thanks for the chapter!
zombie
This chapter made me laugh so hard. I love Tian and Hong being two different brands of violent madmen.
Alexander Dupree
I didn’t even think about how Daoist Hong was the Fiery Yang one she was ready to explode. But no one seems to want to line up!
ioajfidsnmfomds77
Daoist Hong is an inspiration
Jordan
Whelp they were asked to beat the brakes off of them, and now it's everyone's problem. I love this chapter.
Rischirobi
Thx for the chapter
