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Sky Pride Vol. 4 Chapter 36- What Was Lost and What Was Found
🕑 Added 2025-11-03 15:00:15 +0000 UTCSilence gathered in the darkness. The sun had shifted across the sky, sending the little puddle of light sliding across the cavern. Tian wasn’t fit to talk, and Hong wasn’t in much better shape. Tian felt Grandpa Jun sitting next to him, patting his shoulder, or just being a comforting, ghostly, presence.
“I… know who my family is. And they were killed by Liren’s family. I wasn’t thrown away. I was wanted. Fiercely protected, even. I was avenged when “I” died, even if it was in the most stupidly cruel way I can imagine. I was ‘murdered’ by Sister Liren’s family. Her family was the reason I was covered in burns and left in the dump. All that pain. All the loneliness and fear. The starvation. All because her family made a choice.
Should I blame them? Or is it the consequence of my family being, apparently, heretics. Or close enough as to make no difference. Do I blame whoever drove the Hongs to that kind of desperation? Do I blame the system and the Mountain that drove the people that drove the people, or is it just how humans are? Mindless animals that cause pain.”
Tian had spent half his life in the company of cultivators. Half his life thinking about the Dao, and what it all means. He was comfortable contemplating the vast enormity of the universe. It was just people who troubled him. Who scared him.
Humans are animals that cause pain. He forgot that, sometimes. He would be laughing or sharing a campfire with Liren, a dinner table with his brothers, working with his sect-siblings to solve problems, and he would think humans were something else. Something better and nobler.
He tried to focus on his breath. Let the diaphragm expand, drawing breath into the lungs and belly. Cycle the qi, turn it into vital energy. Let the body heal. Exhale. Try to exhale the storm of thoughts and emotions with them.
He hated his birth family. Hated them for throwing him away. For deciding he was trash and putting him in the trash with the other trash to rot away. Deciding he was too sickly and too ugly to keep, and not caring about his suffering before his end.
In and out, in and out. Always keeping a corner of his mind on the cycle of his breath.
But that wasn’t the truth, was it? The truth was that he was wanted, and cherished. His mother tried to kill him, yes, because she knew exactly how cruel this world was to the losers. They weren’t good people, but they had tried their best to be good to him.
In and out, in and out.
If it was any other family, if it was anyone else, it would be death on sight. On sight.
In and out.
But it wasn’t anyone else. It was Sister Hong. It was the choice her parents made to make sure their daughter survived. And themselves, but her too.
The Ghost King Zhong had asked himself if he just studied the dao, or if he believed.
Here, in the dark, hurting and alone, did he, “Tian Zihao” believe?
His breath stopped.
Did he truly believe?
He talked of brotherhood. He thought he was sincere. Thought that he was willing to die for his sect siblings. He thought he believed in the Dao and the one-ness of all things. Easy to say, sitting on a sunny bench by the martial practice squares. But this was the dark place, and the light was there but it was not shining on him.
Did he, in this place, at this time, really believe?
If he believed in all the stuff he had been reading and been told, then his pain and suffering had a purpose. It was to save Liren’s life. She didn’t know it. He didn’t know it. But it was. If he really believed it, she had always been his sister. If he believed that, why grieve? Why be hateful about how much he had suffered? Wasn’t he willing to suffer and die for her? She was for him.
The Hongs were responsible for the choices they made, but they were also made by the choices of other people. Surely he should focus on the origin, not the endpoint.
He wanted to believe that. It’s just that he could smell the dump even now. He could taste the rotten vegetables and the grubs, and the dirt he ate. He sometimes found himself unconsciously wincing, still thinking that if he moved too much, the burn scars would punish him. Anticipating a pain that lived in his memories.
His body was not nearly so enlightened as his mind. His mind wasn’t feeling particularly enlightened either. All the pretty words melted away under that remnant fire.
He didn’t give a damn about his dead so-called-family. He gave a damn about how he hurt. He held his hands up, looking at them in the thin light. Stronger, now. He knew once he healed, the person who left this cave would be far stronger than the one who entered it. There would be consequences. Sequelie. He knew his body well, and could feel the ‘off-ness’ already. But he would be stronger.
He wouldn’t have any more fingers, though. Chewed off by rats, who must have thought he was dead. No wonder Grandpa had to spend all his energy curing his lead poisoning. No wonder Grandpa hated alchemists. His own loving mother put the pill in his mouth.
Could he extend the logic that reached Sister Liren and accept the Hongs family as his own?
No. Not now. Not ever. Broadmindedness couldn’t possibly stretch so far, the one-ness of the Dao be damned. His family wasn’t so cheap. It only had three members, not including him. Grandpa, his real dad, and Liren. Nevermind the Hong’s, he wasn’t willing to acknowledge the Xia as his family.
Could he forgive the Hongs for how they hurt him?
No. Not really. He didn’t know “The Hongs.” He knew Liren. He once met Liren’s Grandma. He didn’t like Grandma much then, and everything he had heard about her made him like her, and respect her, less.
Could he forgive Liren?
Forgive her for what? What exactly did she do? She had been six, same as him. She didn’t know what had happened. Once she did find out, she was horrified. She was still horrified. She worked constantly, fought with her life on the line, to stop such a thing from happening ever again. She had shown, repeatedly, that she was willing to die for him. She tried to die for him. Just what else could he demand from her?
But he hurt. He had been in agony for years. Hurt so much, for so long, he had forgotten what not-hurting felt like. To live was to suffer. That was life in the dump. He had left the dump. Healed his pain. Repeatedly rebuilt his body, to the point where he might as well be an entirely different person than the child picking maggots from his wounds and popping them into his mouth to see if they were tasty.
He still hurt. The memories hurt. The carried pain hurt. And she was a Hong. She was Hong Liren. The Hongs made the heretic choice- that their lives would be better if his life was worse. And shorter. The Hongs had killed those who had birthed him and looked after him his first few years. The Hongs were the ones who threw him in the dump. And she was Hong Liren.
So right now, right now, in the dark place, in this single present moment when he was free to choose, what did he believe?
It was quite still in the cave. The storm in his mind drowned out all other sounds.
“Brother? Brother Zihao?”
There was a sudden noise. It took him seconds to realize that it was a human voice, speaking to him.
“Yes?”
“You stopped breathing. For… It's been almost twenty minutes. I know you can hold your breath a long time, but I…” Her voice trailed off on an awkward note.
She was worried he had died. That his accumulated wounds had killed him.
He couldn’t forgive the Hongs. He could probably never forgive the Hongs.
“Liren?”
“Who are you-”
“Shut up and listen. I forgive you.”
There was a confused silence. “You do? For what?”
“For being a Hong. For understanding the horrible choices your parents made. For enduring the ‘care’ of your grandmother. For still loving parts of the Monastery and its people. For believing that you can make a difference when everybody else failed. For holding on to the virtues when they seem so hateful. On behalf of that dead boy, and, Hell, me too, I forgive you.”
There was a muffled noise. A sort of grunt and sob.
“It’s not something that can be forgiven. And you aren’t the one who I need forgiveness from anyhow.”
“I’m the best you are going to get.” Tian smiled through his tears. “Besides, haven’t you been telling me over and over how sorry you were? Well, now I hear you. The Xia boy died in that fire. He’s gone on to a new and better life. So on behalf of the living and the dead, I forgive you.”
He settled back into silence. Liren didn’t say anything. He could smell the salt from her tears. Eventually, his dried up. An imp of honesty prodded him to add “That doesn’t extend to your family, though. No offense, but once I’m strong enough, I’m going to piss in your parent’s wine and your granny is getting beat to shit one dark night. Just horrifying violence and a complete breakdown of propriety and the deference due to a senior. And when she heals up, I’m going to do it again. I think I might cycle between the wine cellar latrine and beating your granny into a coma for a decade or two, really incorporate it into my cultivation practice. I shouldn’t have to explain why.”
He couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. If she hadn’t figured it out yet, he didn’t want her to know. At least, not now. Not when everything was so raw.
It took a few days to heal enough to move. Liren insisted on digging a latrine and screening it off with a bit of cloth. Tian didn’t object, but dragging his body around to dig without bothering his broken pelvis was blatantly impossible. It hurt. He could suck it up for the sake of not having death glares from Liren. Some interesting things were found while they waited.
“I’m more flexible. Look, I can bend my finger back ninety degrees. Freaky.” Liren sounded torn between laughter and exasperation.
“Yes? That’s how fingers work? You couldn’t do that before?” Tian blinked. Had there been more damage to her body? Or was this more proof of brain damage? “Healthy fingers bend all the way back and all the way forward. See?”
Tian bent his index finger back until the nail touched the back of his hand.
“Oh gross! Stop that.”
“Stop what? Having functional fingers? I’m still three down, like Hell-”
Much productive bickering followed. Then, some time later-
“Ignoring your weird and wrong fingers for a moment, I think… I don’t really have words for it. Like the amount of qi my body and dantian can hold have expanded. I feel like I have more space to store vital energy, if that makes sense. Which I’m not sure it does.” Tian wiggled his hand.
“I was going to say something similar. Not more vital energy, but it feels denser now. Purer, maybe? But definitely denser. Like moving from cool air to a cool fog through my meridians.” Hong also wiggled her hand. Considerably less fluidly than he had managed, in Tian’s opinion.
“Maybe something about how we shared blood and vital energy? I also feel like the vital energy is circulating through me faster.”
“That’s a good thing. Probably?”
“Yeah, it probably is, but it’s weird. I mean, my vital energy is circulating faster. Like moving through my body faster. I don’t really know how to explain it.” Tian waved his hands in the air trying to demonstrate what he meant. And failing.
“I think you explained it, though.”
“No, you don’t understand. This is weird. My qi doesn’t circulate this fast.”
“Yeah. And?”
“I don’t know. It’s just weird.” Tian shrugged.
“Huh. Any other changes?”
“Probably. I think I got a little lighter? Maybe your yang qi blood made me lighter, somehow.”
“Could be. I do feel pretty solid, except for the places where the bones are broken. Maybe we swapped or something.” She propped herself up on one elbow. “Tssk. Urg. Let me see…”
She paused. Tian found it to be a significant sounding pause.
“Can you just… lie straight for a moment. Legs out straight, I mean. Yeah like that.”
She went quiet again.
“And?” Tian prodded her.
“So. It could be my qi making you lighter. Well, it’s your qi now. Your… increased yang qi. Which in the long term will help you get taller. So really, when you think about it, it’s a good thing. A very good thing.”
“Sister?”
“Just… focus on that future growth. Visualize the glorious sights you will see from a height of six foot one. How imposing you will look with the crane perched on your shoulders, spreading her wings in supremacy.”
“Sister?!”
“There is no easy way to say this, Brother Zihao. You… have shrunk. Slightly. For now. I’m sure you will get taller soon.”
Comments
IV08004
Our short king is now crying for another reason
Fayhem
> Sequelie. *Sequelae And god, what a chapter.
Daniel Andrews
I want Liren to get even taller now honestly.
Robert Mullins
My favorite part of this story is that the mc considers these to be on a roughly similar level: Just horrifying violence and a complete breakdown of propriety and the deference due to a senior.
Meredith
But Tian isn’t keeping away life-altering knowledge away from Grandpa. Tian always has Grandpa now
Noah
I hope Tian at least talks about this stuff with his father. Bottling it up is super dangerous.
João Vene
What a chapter to get caught up. At least it wasn't on Friday, the cliff day.
Harimeow
This worked fabulously when it played in my head
Art Dragon
Awww, she knows how much his height bothers him. I hope that Tian will be okay, and I hope that he tells Liren soon. I think it would be good for both of them. Speaking these things aloud can really help lighten them. Especially if you share the burden with someone else.
Brian P.
The previous chapter said they both shrunk, due to lack of materials when healing them both.
Veridescent
What a time to lose grandpa juns wider experience that could give context to ways of being and suffering.
Harimeow
With the crane perched on your shoulders, she says. But where is the princess? The rest is too much to digest. I need to sit with it. The relationship between Tian and Liren is such a strength of the story, it's nice to have this time when the story focuses to just the two of them. I have bigger thoughts about Tian's ethical system and how self referential it is, but that's too meta for comments. The story is perfect, I marvel at the crafting of it
Steve Wright
“If I may ask, Fellow Daoist, how old are you?” “I’m 57,” Tian said, taking a long drag on his cigarette, before stubbing it out on the remains of a heretic. “I’ve looked like I was eight years old for a long time now. It is really getting to be a pain in the Dao, I tell you what.”
Jirachi 47
I do hope we see a bit about the crane soon - do wonder how much he really feels personally responsible there. It's also not implausible that they're badly injured too, since they also took an attack in the chase.
LiteWvr
While I appreciate that now is not the time for him to tell her and doubly appreciate the forgiveness, I really really hate the common trope of main character keeps life altering knowledge from best friend (for any reason) it was hard enough that we knew for so long, I hope Hong doesn't endure too much more time in the dark. I will be angry if we have manufactured drama becuz Grandma tells her before he does
Kain
By “his true father” he means Fu, not his bio dad.
Roxanne Moore
I have a funny feeling they've both just gotten taller but because Hong has gotten more taller she thinks he's shorter.
Book Worm
Who is Tian’s father??????? Nah but fr, what kind of hidden hints has Warby dropped that we just haven’t noticed?
Alexandr Solomonenco
Hello, I just subscribed to the Patreon for the first time. I've been following since the first 30? I think chapters of Slumrat on RoyalRoad. I wanted to tell you that I enjoy your writing tremendously, even if there were a lot of naysayers after the start of book two of Slumrat, I enjoyed it even more to be honest. I obviously took to Sky Pride like a fish to water, couldn't hold back anymore and subscribed to the Patreon. I don't really know what I'm trying to say except that there's one more person who really enjoys your writing, and who got through some tough times by reading your works and the worlds you've made, and ultimately just wishes you all the best 🤗
Cole Armstrong
"Hidden" injuries are big sad. Curious how much of an issue these will be for them
Chris Fey
So Hong wants a man in finance?
Nùmenor
So beautifully poignant. Thank you Warby.
Robert Mullins
"who are you addressing so casually?" He used her first name with no honorific.
Hakurei06
> “Who are you-” Hmmmm….
Robert Mullins
"small cost". Too soon.
Morog T Tiny
Shrinking seems a small cost for his best friends life.
Lady Merlin
A bit of an overshare: I was raised very religious and understood myself as a teenager to be gay and thus according to that version of that belief system, sinful (and a monster). Teenage me prayed to God every night to be normal and cried myself to sleep for years. I understand now that the person who did the worst things to me wasn't anyone else, but myself. Because looking back with maturity today, I know everyone who helped instill that belief system in me did so mostly out of love (and cultural weight/momentum) - and I myself bought those belief. Objectively, after much deep work transforming and healing that pain - I am a better person for that suffering (+ other suffering the world has heaped on my doorstep), and I actually share many of the beliefs espoused in this story today about oneness and what it means to try to be a good person. At the same time, I either grapple with or struggle with truly believing in these (more Buddhist aligned) beliefs on the daily. It was heart warming and relieving both to see a character I've grown to 'know' and love grapple/struggle with something similar. Thanks Warby for writing this and thank you everyone else for experiencing it along with me.
Lady Merlin
Hi! This chapter resonated deeply with me and I cried. I'm appreciative of this whole journey in the hole, even if it's also deeply uncomfortable (in a good way mostly?)
P.R. Bakker
Ouch maybe the shrinking hurt the most, it can't be thta Liren grew a bit more?
Brian P.
Oh, conservation of characters seems to assure that Brother Fu signed off on it, at the very least.
Raymond Mouton
Thanks for the chapter.
BIGLARGEFISH
I think in a way hes scared to acknowledge who he was. He keeps thinking about this as a new life hes living and if he were to acknowledge the fact that he was that boy hed have to accept those people are his family. By doing so he as a good filial child would need to seek revenge which could sever his connection with liren. I dont really think its logical but fear like that rarely is. He made it ambiguously clear what he meant if Liren is able to pick up on it then I think she will get more of what she needs. If she doesnt I think shes not negatively impacted in any serious way. I personally think she knows. He was too adamant for it not to be.
Raymond Doherty
Hope Tian learns more about the Xia, why he was so mangled when he was born and if his family being cursed is related to his hands. Also curious to see if he’ll try to find out what brothers from the monastery were involved. Fingers crossed brother Fu had nothing to do with it
Neil Brooks
Tian must embrace the Dao of Stilts to enact his wine cellar pissing orientated revenge
Gardor
Kinda seems dickish to not tell Lieran his "true" identity, to couch that absolution as a sort of metaphor, "the dead boy and i forgive you". Obviously not an easy conversation to have, and Hong just had a pretty intense airing of inner trauma, just saying it seems unfair. And like its gonna be worse the longer he waits. Maybe I'm just lacking creativity, but i expected his decision to be "she's my sister and i trust her, i should be honest with her instead of keeping this very important secret". Half truths dont really count, him saying "the dead boy forgives you" might alleviate some of what he's feeling, but if Liran doesnt know it wont have the same impact on her.
Alexander Dupree
It’s just learning about his cursed family of origin. It had almost forgotten he existed but now it’s back.
Nonnyor Business
So there is a reason for this, and it is gloriously stupid. There are traditional chinese units of weights and measurements that do turn up in translated Xianxia- Li being the one I can remember off the top of my head. But they aren't in common usage anymore, they just give the setting an ancient feel. I'm not familiar with them myself, so they would be a pain to write or explain. I decided that if I want my international audience to grapple with an antiquated and obscure unit of measurement, it should be one that I am actually familiar with...
Liam Zay
Tian is eventually going to resort to heretical means just to increase his height
Noroh
Tian's contemplation aboutt the dump edged close to Buddhist thought. "To live is to suffer" is very close to a Buddhist position. I am pretty sure there are psuedo-Buddhists somewhere, I look forward to meeting them lol
Andrew Goebel
"Bigger person" too soon, too soon
Andrew Goebel
SHORTER!! The hits keep coming! Poor Tian.
dkpfrog
Tftc!!
Tone
Noooooooo, that can’t be. That’s impossible! Consequences for doing logic defying actions and then becoming stronger for them actions is becoming more of a trend for Zihao and now he’s dragging Liren by the hand with him through his bullshit. Proud of him!
William Johnson
Oh no he meant six feet one inch and the universe thought he meant 61 cm!
João Vene
aw yiss
Mistythread
Let’s go! Tian is short king maxxing! Him deciding to forgive Hong for what her family did is sweet. I hope she was able to read between the lines there
EvilLittleThing
Shrunk!
Pinpenny the great lithian
I am filled with indignation on the part of Tian! He helped his sis make Hong soup, and what does she do? She steals what meager height he had! Such cruelty, such reprehensible morals! How dare she!!! DO THE HONGS KNOW NO SHAME!!1!!1!1 P.s. On a more serious note, I'm glad Tian has finally learned more about his past and now knows he wasn't thrown away and I'm extra glad he was able to look past the fact Hong's family did it and not include her in his (very justified) grudge against them. From a narrative perspective, I suppose there was little chance Tian would sever his relationship with her, but as an invested reader, I am happy nonetheless. P.p.s Are feet a Canon form of measurement in Sky Pride lore? Even in fiction we can't escape the legs of British monarchy
BIGLARGEFISH
Lovely. Terrible and lovely.
Hunter Brown
short king tian lol
Emmanuel Dixon
Gotta marry him now liren he gave up precious height for you
David Bailey
Dammit, even when our boy decides to be the bigger person...
Joshua Gunty
And so Hong reveals the more devastating of the the night's truths right at the end.
WolfWithAGun
Among the rapid onset delayed greiving... the true shame is that he got shorter
JTP
Heartbreak and laughter. What a chapter.
Seadrake
That's a true sibling. Punching your ego down before it can ever rise.
Jentry Lange
This is a much greater betrayal than the Hong v Xia rivalry. How could his sister take height from him when she is so blessed herself?? Truly the Way is suffused with pain like no other
