Elsa Marie Keefe
patreon
Deleting the past
🕑 Added 2023-05-23 23:08:33 +0000 UTCI just left the shortest most intense relationship of my life. I’m sharing some screenshots of photos from the past that I was deleting and archiving over the past few days. He didn’t want me sharing my body or being naked anymore in front of anyone but him. This was so hard. It has been my life. I have spent years working to overcome shame and somehow all I felt with this person was shame. My past broke into our present. He kept finding things online that weren’t ok or appropriate to him and I would have to delete them. I was using this time in isolation to try to learn the lessons here, to work on my art and deleting and organizing the past, which I’m not always so good at. I’m just sharing some screenshots I had taken as I was deleting old memories from my iPhone. I shared some of these images with him and was going to ask him if some of them were ok to post. Then I thought to myself, “who have I become?” Why do I need to ask someone permission to live my life? I tried to follow his rules and guidelines out of fear and change. So much has happened this month and it felt too overwhelming. I left last night. It was so hard. I’ve never left like this. I feel so sad. I feel so bad. But I’m starting to feel free again. It’s so hard to love someone who is hurting you. What is it called? Stockholm syndrome?
Comments
John Spraggins
Sorry to hear about your break up. Give yourself some time to grieve and heal. That controlling person would have destroyed the free creative person that I love! It would have escalated too. Sending good energy your way!❤️
