psychodelusional
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Apocalust - Development Update and some things
🕑 Added 2021-02-28 05:24:35 +0000 UTCHello Patrons!
This is the third or fourth time I took over 2-3 months to stay in touch or update you and I wish I wasn't such a colossal fuck up and a coward but I am and I'm sorry.
Obviously I am taking way too long to get this game out and honestly I have been unfathomably fucked in the head for the past few months so I am just going to wing it and try to speak my mind a bit.
If you don't want to read a long post or if I am coming across as a weirdo or anything, you can just skip this if you like and see some sexy stuff of Evelyn and Liora in a rar pack I uploaded here:
I have been trying to work on a trailer for this game for the better part of a week and I have been rushing to finish so I don't get yelled at as I am already vastly behind but I can't get through this or anything else for that matter without crying my eyes out or banging my head on my desk.
I wish I wasn't so messed in the head but for the second half of making this game I have been mortally obsessed with what people think of me and people's expectations and this is infecting every other area of my life and I honestly don't know if I can take it anymore.
I just want to iterate the fact that I know I am getting paid to do one of the easiest things in the world but honestly between people yelling at me in my comments on here and other places to people dming me to kill myself or to jump into traffic on discord, I am finding it hard to focus on what I want to do which is just make games. I fully knew I was going to get yelled at for taking extra-long on the first version but I did not know how I was going to react to it.
Edit: I just also want to acknowledge the fact that this is my own fault for being a baby and not yours for expressing yourself.
I know I am supposed to focus on the good stuff, the people who supported me all this time especially those being nice to me no matter how big of an idiot I am but I have fallen into this trap a multitude of times and it just keeps happening.
I obviously have enough content for a 0.1 release and it's never going to meet my expectations ultimately but I think I am massively overthinking everything at this point.
Either the trailer + a tester version of 0.1 is going to be out by the end of March or I am just going to stop wasting everyone's time.
I am going to be trying some new stuff over the course of the next few weeks including leaning into (some/certain) social situations, so if you would like to ask me anything, just ping me in patron chat and I will answer instead of avoiding everyone for eternity. I just want to make this about fun now instead of trying to please every single person and if I mess it up then so be it.
I just want to mention that my discord DM's are going to be closed for the reasons I mentioned above but I will be replying to my patron DM's again (as long as you aren't screaming at me) since that was obviously a shitty thing to do.
Anyhow, that's it for now I should be back anywhere between 1-2 weeks with the games launch trailer or at least a quick progress update.
Sorry if any of this was morbid and or weak but i just needed to get some of it out.
Thank you all for the support and I will talk to you again soon!
