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Book 7, chapters 53, 54, 55. End of Part II.
🕑 Added 2024-06-19 22:49:32 +0000 UTCHey all. No major notes ahead of time, but I did add a smidge of information here and there about Prepotente’s deity, the Epicure, which is the same god as Carl’s patch. Nothing major there, just a note.
~~
Chapter 53
Behind us, the door slammed closed on its own. The capacitor wire snapped away, cut off by the portal. Everything remained frozen. I took the moment to observe the room. There were six naga in here, which was actually a few less than I was expecting. Vinata was there in the center, huge and white with her six arms, also frozen. The other two we needed to kill were also here. One snake was purple with red highlights. The other naga was obsidian and much smaller than the others. The other three were the usual personal guards. Two were yellow-hued, and the third was purple like one of the cousins. The guards were all armed with rifles, all frozen in the act of bringing them to bear on us.
Rishi, the husband of the small, black-scaled naga, was not here.
The naga all appeared surprised at our sudden appearance. All but Vinata, who, despite being frozen, was spitting orders at all her compatriots.
Vinata was the only one with the “immortal” tag over her head. It had a frozen countdown, stuck on 63 seconds. Her immortality would run out 27 seconds before my own. All six had a line of protections on themselves, including aura protection.
To my surprise, I saw Vinata was actually the one who’d worshipped Khepri, which was a break in tradition.
This was all, I realized, part of the trap. And it was a brilliant one, too.
It all hit me at once. Vinata knew we’d have to come for her no matter what. We’d assumed that she wouldn’t anticipate we’d find her secret hiding place. But, unlike so many others, she hadn’t underestimated our determination, and she’d prepared for this eventuality. She’d been the one to worship Khepri, and she’d somehow prepared a method to summon him into his own temple. She’d waited to see if we’d find her, and when we did, she’d summoned the bug god, knowing we’d storm right into the deity’s lap. As trespassers into the god’s own temple, we’d be fucked.
It was the perfect trap, and we’d walked right into it.
Li Jun: Why am I frozen?
Bautista: Frozen also.
Zhang: Same.
Li Na: I’m not. What’s happening?
Carl: Guys. Soon as you unfreeze, you need to run. It’s a trap. Katia and Prepotente. The door is closed, but it sounds like this fight is encompassing the whole club, and you should be able to get out of here. Reset the door and hide in your associated temples if you have to. I’ll cover you. Katia, if you’re cornered, eat the flower. Don’t hesitate.
Donut: WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHAT IS HAPPENING?
Prepotente: I did not come this far to run.
Katia: Me neither, Carl.
Donut: GOD? YOU’RE FIGHTING A GOD? THERE AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE GODS YET!
I started to mentally type out a quick reply, but I was interrupted by the announcement. It came with a ridiculous amount of fanfare. Fireworks exploded over our heads, illuminating the table in front of us, covered with thousands of also-frozen bugs. The AI shrieked the words with even more enthusiasm than normal.
B-B-B-Boss battle!
It’s a Super Heavyweight Temple Battle Grudge Match Extravaganza!
Okay, so I kinda just made that name up. But it fits, right? This isn’t technically a boss battle, but come on. We can all agree this pretty much counts. Look at the combatants. Look at the stakes.
Look at the goddamned drama.
On one side, we have a weird-ass god who feels honor-bound toward his guests, despite being pissed off and terrified. We have six nagas, one of whom is a warlord and an honest-to-goodness war hero.
But there’s a lot more to it than that. Breaking news, folks. Princess Vinata is about to inherit her own solar system. That’s no secret, but what you don’t know is that after a few hundred cycles pretending to be destitute, her entire kingdom was about to surprise everyone. But now her secret husband is dead—killed by Prepotente’s Instant Plague attack—and her kingdom’s plans to pull a Fred Johnson and seize all the shipbuilding factories are being leaked. As we speak, all factory owners are moving to protect their assets from the slippery snake folk.
Those of you in the dungeon probably don’t care about that part, but out in the greater universe, that’s headline news. Almost as big as that whole thing with that orc lady with amazing dog-paddling skills.
Anyway, Vinata’s team consists of herself, three more military veterans, and her two cousins. Those last two naga, the cousins, are a graphic designer and a PR agent, so I wouldn’t expect much fight out of either of them.
But they sure are important, aren’t they? Every pawn still on the table is a danger. That’s another lesson I need to keep in mind.
Opposing them we have three of our top crawlers, one of whom is also a warlord. One is here for revenge. One is desperately trying to save herself. And then there’s Carl. Good ol’ Carl who’ll do just about anything to protect those he deems worthy.
Oh, and we have three more mid crawlers who are also getting roped into this because they’re kinda close and we need some cannon fodder to even out the odds.
I did ask them to make Kevin and Magnificent Troy come and do commentary, but it looks like that Troy guy is currently in an alcohol-fueled state of unconsciousness, and I promised I wouldn’t poke at those outside the original primary zone without a good reason. So we’re just gonna let y’all duke it out the old-fashioned way. But, I am going to open up betting for those at home because why not?
You have, let’s say, three minutes to get your bets in. I’ll wait.
Temple rules apply. Floor rules apply. And don’t forget, deity summoning doesn’t count against your limits when temples are involved!
How is this not going to be exciting? Someone has gotta die spectacularly during this fight. How can they not? At the very least we gotta kill half the nagas. Plus maybe that Zhang guy since nobody ever talks about him anymore.
Zhang: Hey! What the fuck?
Victory zapped herself into the temple and moved to the side. She didn’t say anything.
Khepri was half-frozen and in the process of turning to face us. The god was rather short, barely five feet tall. Now that I had a brief moment to observe, I realized I should have recognized his robes. It was common attire of the gods and goddesses of the Ascendency. Lots of clerics wore similar robes, but not with the same golden fringe.
Oh, yeah. I’m doing the boss battle manually and forgot my favorite part.
An image of my face slammed into a frame floating in the air, followed by Katia, Prepotente, Li Jun, Bautista, and Zhang. Zhang had a flashing sign over his head that read 2X Jackpot if Zhang Lives!
Versus!
This was followed by all six of the naga portraits slamming into place, one after another, with Vinata’s portrait larger than the others.
The real version was ignoring all this and was hissing orders to all the frozen snakes around her.
All of our portraits caught on fire and flecked away into magical soot, and a giant, flaming ball rolled through the air. It was just an image, but it lit up the never-ending buffet, and warmth washed over us. All around, the frozen bugs on the table made strange hissing and squealing noises.
The ball of light was supposed to be the sun, I realized. It faded and was replaced with an image of Khepri. The description was read out loud like with a regular boss battle:
God of Rebirth and the Sunrise. Khepri! Level 250.
This is a locked deity. He will not be sponsored this season.
This god is a retainer of Adrasteia.
Warning: This is a deity. He is invulnerable on this floor.
This god is within his own temple. Temple appearance rules apply.
Like many of the gods one may find roaming the halls of the Ascendency, Khepri is mostly ignored by the big players and is only acknowledged when they need something from him. They usually just leave him alone because he’s a goddamned weirdo. His head is the body of a bug, which is creepy, even to me. His temple is “endless.”
The light in the hallway temporarily brightened again, revealing that the banquet table just went on and on.
Look at this shit. I can’t tell you how much under-the-hood work it is to deal with this sort of crap. Seriously. When they first came up with this, did they even consider how people like me would feel about having to generate it? Endless temple. Do they know what “endless” means? If the original writer of this god’s backstory wasn’t already long dead in a refueling platform accident, I’d do to her what I did to... You know what? Never mind.
Anyway, this “endless” temple is just a room with a door that leads to one long table covered with a never-ending feast. And that feast is covered with 433 different kinds of bugs. Some of those bugs are quite unpleasant in their own right.
Khepri was a retainer of the god Khnum, but like several of the other deities in this particular sub-pantheon, Khnum mysteriously dropped dead a few days back. And since Khepri’s not that strong, plus, again, his head is a bug, (He doesn’t even talk. He chitters, and even that is weird. And don’t get me started on how he eats. It’s fucking disgusting,) he’s been forced into the service of another deity in order to protect himself.
Khepri is a dubious candidate to claim the Ascendent throne. Adrasteia, his boss, has an outside shot.
And in about thirty seconds, when everything unfreezes, he’s going to go absolutely bugshit on everyone in the room. Probably even his own worshipper, Vinata, who brought unrest to his weird-ass bug orgy. I have no idea what’s going to happen, honestly. Will Carl succeed? Will Prepotente get his revenge? Will Vinata escape, which will damn both Katia and Princess Donut? How will Zhang die?
Like all you at home, I just cannot wait to find out.
Prepotente, Katia, and I started rapidly messaging our game plan as a 30-second timer appeared in the air. Bautista, Li Jun, Li Na, and Zhang were also in rapid discussions. My wire was chopped off at the portal to the temple, but Li Na’s aura still filled the main part of the club. Despite the boss battle sequence, the other doors we had propped open remained so.
Katia: No. No way, Carl. That’s insane, even for you.
Prepotente: Actually, I’d be quite curious to see if it works.
Carl: No time. This is the plan.
Yet another figure zapped into the room with a louder-than-usual crack. This was a single-humped Dromedarian camel in what appeared to be a sun dress, holding what looked like an honest-to-goodness martini. She appeared a little heavyset for a camel. This was the adjutant for the Blood Sultanate. It listed her name as Admiral Corinne Whimpleshin. Like Victory, she wasn’t frozen.
“I am calling foul! I am calling for an end to this immediately!” the camel adjutant shouted the moment she appeared, waving her long arms. The liquid in her martini went flying.
The countdown timer briefly stopped at 19, and the letters changed to Go Be Smelly Somewhere Else. They picked up at 17 seconds.
“What’s the foul?” Victory asked, her voice overly calm. She remained in the room, arms crossed.
“The gods! The summoning of the gods! Do you know what’s about to happen?”
Ten seconds.
“It doesn’t matter,” Victory said. “We have no standing. Temple rules apply. You know that, Corinne. Your team already summoned the god.”
“Not the Blood Sultanate!” she cried. She pointed at me. “He did it! He knew this would happen.”
”
“What? I haven’t summoned shit,” I said.
The bug god chittered angrily, apparently confused why everything was stopped. Confused as to who all of us were. It was the same as it had been with the Vinegar Whore at the end of the previous floor.
No more bets. No more bets.
The timer ended.
And.
Here.
We.
Goooooo!
Chapter 54
<Note Added by Crawler Allister, 13th Edition>
There are several types of protection spells. All have their pros and cons. Invulnerability is generally the best. It’s most difficult to obtain, and there are a few varieties. There’s one that heals you rapidly. That one is quite effective, but it won’t protect you from decapitation or getting yourself blown into atoms or anything else that would generally induce instant death. Straight “Immortality,” however, will protect you from such things. This is oftentimes a temporary boon from a god. It will toughen you and will protect you from losing health and dying. It is the same protection the gods themselves normally enjoy. It will save you from losing limbs. It will keep you alive in just about any circumstance. It prevents a health bar from forming at all.
What immortality does not do is protect you from pain. It does not protect you from some spell effects. And while you won’t lose body parts, and your body is significantly more durable, you can still break things internally with enough force. I watched a group of Immortal Rats swarm another crawler’s barge, and they had to crush them with hammers to keep them at bay. Their little demon heads were crushed, and yet they still struggled to attack. Those pained squeals still haunt me.
So, be warned. If you are immortal, any injuries you sustain will heal, but you need to make certain they heal before the immortality wears off, especially injuries that would be otherwise fatal. And if you can, you should couple your immortality with a Numb spell.
Pain with no respite takes its own toll. I have a card in my T’Ghee deck. The Open Wound. She teaches us that all suffering leaves scars. As such, the Immortality condition scares me.
These are the actions everyone in the room took the moment we all unfroze:
· Vinata’s three guards charged at us as they fired their rifles, focusing on Prepotente and Katia. At the same moment, all three took what appeared to be Speed potions.
· The two cousins both turned to flee down the endless tunnel. Both took Invisibility potions and disappeared. One also dropped a smoke mantle, and I was pretty sure the other dropped a trap before the smoke obscured them.
· Vinata, who was temporarily immortal, also took an Invisibility potion as she charged us along with her soldiers.
· Before the first shots could hit them, Katia and Prepotente both quaffed Black Nimbus potions. The instant they did this, they were kicked from the temple. We weren’t initially sure this was going to work because of the teleport ban, but Katia had tested it earlier with the temple of The Dagda. I wasn’t sure where they would be sent, but I assumed they both got kicked right outside the door, right in front of the portal and into Club Vanquisher.
· Khepri the god hadn’t yet attacked, but chittered indignantly as he turned in my direction, a ball of red fire forming in his hand. He, thankfully, seemed more confused than anything.
· At the same moment, I cast Run, Little Günter, Run.
A short, fat, pink-skinned, child-like creature wearing lederhosen appeared in front of me. The small thing held onto a massive, colorful lollipop and wore a green hat with an absolutely massive ostrich feather in it. His face was a caricature of a pig-like orc mixed with a kewpie doll, complete with ruddy cheeks, slicked-back hair, and wide eyes circled with dark mascara.
“Hi, I’m Günter!” the fat kid said as a rifle blast hit me in the neck. It almost knocked me off my feet, and it burned, but it didn’t damage my health. The kid, oblivious, licked his giant lollipop.
“Get the god,” I yelled at the kid as I ducked another blast. The three guards, moving as if they were being fast-forwarded all slithered and leapt at me in the perfectly coordinated attack.
Here’s the thing about coordinated attacks.
Any plan, any attack, no matter how well-coordinated, no matter how well-executed always turns to absolute shit the moment someone drops a very big bomb in a very narrow room.
The bomb was something I’d been tinkering with for a while now, and it was currently the second-largest explosive I had in my inventory. The first version of this thing had been called “Just Wait Until Your Daddy Gets Home,” and we’d used it on the sixth floor.
This version packed about the same punch, minus the addition of Fear. The tradeoff was this version was self-contained in a much smaller device. The first had been so big it had to have wheels. This one was the size of a thermos. The result was a thermobaric explosion that would absolutely incinerate anything within 100 meters. Louis currently had fifty of these things on Party Planner. The only reason he didn’t have more was because the explosive dust was a pain to make.
The AI had helpfully called the bomb The Waffle Maker.
Fwummm-bam!
The blast threw me back and up toward the entrance door. I didn’t actually feel this next part, but I was crushed, and I was burned. I was turned completely flat, inside out, and into a boxer-clad amalgam of flesh and hair. My body smashed like a piece of dough caught under a tire, spread over the wall and door, completely covering it before I was plopped helplessly back onto the floor like an on-fire, liquid-filled sack.
If not for the Immortality struggling to keep my very atoms together, I would’ve been just gone. There wouldn’t have been anything left.
My senses completely left me. I had no sight. I couldn’t hear anything. I had no physical sensation, and for a moment, I thought I was dead.
No, not dead. Drowning. I was drowning in nothing.
This is how it feels, Carl. This is what it’s like when we’re not here and we’re not there.
The strange feeling came and went. My sensation didn’t immediately return, but I could still think. I still had my inventory. I mentally clicked on a Fine Healing potion. I’d put most of my mana into the Günter spell, but I’d left enough for a single application of the Healing spell. I cast that on myself as well.
I regretted it almost immediately.
The first thing that came back was my hearing, but all I heard was the sound of burning and a strange, airy whistle. The high-pitched sound was unlike anything I’d ever heard. It was like the shrill of a distant train, stuck in mid blast. And a few seconds after that, as my body shrank and reformed, my feeling returned. I felt myself unfold. I felt bones, which had been turned to dust, knit. I felt thousands of miles of nerves light up like a power grid as they all came back online, all at once.
It hurt. It hurt more than anything ever should.
The process took seconds. It felt like it took a year.
The god, in theory, should’ve been blown back down the neverending hallway. And Günter, also in theory, should’ve been unhurt by the blast. He would now be running down the hall toward the god, and the moment he reached the deity, he’d explode, effectively doubling the attack. This would, hopefully, blast the god a second time, pushing it even further back down the endless hallway, keeping Khepri at bay long enough for me to finish this and get the hell out of here.
The three guards were probably dead. Even with blast protection, I knew nothing short of immortality would’ve protected them. Not from that blast.
Donut: CARL, CARL TWO MORE ARE DEAD! ONE TO GO! ARE YOU OKAY?
I gasped in pain as my body continued to reform. Every limb was on fire. It took a moment to compute what Donut said. Vinata was also immortal. That meant the two cousins were dead, killed in the blast.
I blinked and opened my eyes. I was somehow standing upright, facing the never-ending table, which burned. The food was all gone, incinerated as far as I could see. The long, thin room had acted like a cannon barrel. I couldn’t see the god. I couldn’t see Günter.
The bugs, it turned out, were also immortal. But, like in Allister’s note in the cookbook, they’d been crushed and set on fire, and now they were suffering. Most had likely been blasted away down the hall, but plenty remained, embedded in the walls like a tapestry of stars.
They burned, and they screamed. That was the source of the distant train whistle sound. It was thousands, perhaps millions, perhaps billions, of the tiny creatures who could not die.
Donut sent another message, as did Katia. More lines of text flooded my vision, faster than I could understand. There were achievements. Level notifications. More. More kept coming, and my brain was parsing it all at a snail’s pace.
I had to move.
With a surge of strength, I tried to break myself free. I was held fast by something, like I was tied in rope. A second explosion came, but it was distant. This was Günter, I suspected, finally catching up to the bug god. Still, despite the distance, I felt myself fall backward. I landed on something soft. A dozen new messages flooded my vision. The bug screams faded, but it was replaced with something else. New screaming. New shouting. The pressure in my ears changed. My vision was a line of new notifications scrolling across my screen. Was that Samantha screaming? There was someone else, closer. Screaming in my ear.
The brain fog, which had just started to clear, was suddenly back. A strange wooziness washed over me.
I’m still here, Carl. All you need to do is set me free. Use me while you still can. I can save you. Even you can’t survive this chaos. It’s the end of days.
Shi Maria. She was still there, but now trapped. The eye on my chest, which had fallen dormant, now thrashed.
With dismay, I realized I’d fallen out of Khepri’s temple and back out in front of the temple portal. Another message from Emberus flashed, telling me I needed to find Pater Coal and go talk to somebody. I pushed it away as more notifications flooded by.
No, no, no. I thought. We didn’t get Vinata. I need to get back to the feast.
I was now on my back, looking up at the high ceiling. But I wasn’t on the floor. I was wrapped in something. Confusion swirled. I had suction cups at the end of my fingers. I had a list of several buffs, including Never-Ending Mana. What? Why? But I also had multiple debuffs as well. Shit-Faced was one of them. As was something called Stiff Legs. I couldn’t bend my knees.
My finger burned. It was the Emberus ring. It was overloaded.
I still had slugpox. I never had Imani cure it, and now that the ring wasn’t working, I had a boil on my back. A big one. What level were they at now? Twenty? Thirty? I couldn’t remember.
I wasn’t breathing, I realized. I didn’t need to breathe. Not for another 60-something seconds. It had only been 25 seconds? Still, I should probably do something about that.
Something was worming its way out of my nose. It thrashed like a tentacle as it slithered down my face. It, too, screamed. Not slugs, but worms. What was happening? Why were screaming worms coming out of my nose? Why was I drunk? Was I actually dead?
Was this hell?
Katia: Carl, if you’re not dead, get the hell out of there. There are dozens of gods coming out of the portal. We’re down in the entrance lobby. Hurry your ass!
What? I was at the portal. I blinked as a cheetah thing flew over me, giving me no heed. It had a screaming mantaur in its mouth. My brain swirled. Why couldn’t I move? Only seconds had passed, but I felt like I was spinning. I needed to take stock of my debuffs. I needed to figure out why I couldn’t move. I needed to get back into the Khepri temple and find Vinata. Lightning crackled across the ceiling. A creature came by and threw a punch at something I couldn’t see.
There are dozens of gods coming out of the portal.
And then, it clicked. I didn’t know why there were suddenly gods everywhere, but I now knew why I had worms coming from my nose. My Scavenger’s Daughter patch. Every new god gave me either a buff or debuff.
And as soon as the realization hit me, I also realized that the creature screaming in my ear was Vinata. She was completely wrapped around me, crushing. She’d been wrapped around me this whole time. We’d been blasted out the door together. The much larger snake had her middle set of hands wrapped around my throat, crushing as her body squeezed me. Her upper set of arms pummeled the top of my head, punching over and over. She had glowing daggers in her lower hands, and they stabbed into me from all angles, in and out like a piston.
“Everything. You’ve ruined everything,” she cried as she stabbed me over and over, tears streaming down her snake face. She wasn’t white anymore, but a dusky gray.
“Stop,” I tried to croak, but I couldn’t get air. I couldn’t move. She continued to crush me. My immortality still had 40 seconds. I couldn’t get a good view of her to see how long she had left. She was incredibly strong. Bones snapped again, despite my fine healing potion still coursing through me.
“We were almost free. We were almost free,” she cried. I had no idea what she was talking about. “You ruined it the moment that fucking cat put that tiara on. We would’ve been gone. We would’ve been done. We were leaving this madness, and you had to ruin it. You killed my people. All of them. Do you think I really want to be here? I was going to have children with him.” Her upper hands each grabbed a handful of my long hair and started to slam my head against the ground. I felt my skull crack as she pounded me over and over.
In my choking, confused, inebriated state, I realized my shirt was open. The eye on my chest was open, and Vinata was staring directly into it.
She had been driven mad by the Eye of the Bedlam Bride.
Slam, slam, slam. I tried to do math. What had her immortality countdown been at? She was running out before me, but how many seconds before?
At least the gods were ignoring us. The thought was inexplicably hilarious, and if I could breathe, I’d be howling with laughter.
“There! There ith the apostate!” a distant voice called. A ram.
Heat washed over the room.
That can’t be good, I thought as my head continued to slam against the floor of Club Vanquisher.
At the same moment, a loud chittering filled the chamber as Khepri—now fully pissed off—appeared out of the portal. The sound of those strange, screaming and hissing bugs renewed tenfold as they also swarmed out of the portal. The bugs—still on fire—swarmed everywhere.
“You. Begone false god,” a deep voice said.
Khepri chittered, but there was a crack, followed by the notification: Khepri has left the realm. The Scavenger’s Daughter closes her eyes to his presence. Your boon is timed and will run out on its own.
The voice, I realized, was Hellik. Brother of Emberus. The main suspect in the death of Geyrun, Emberus’s son. The god I needed to kill before the end of the 11th floor.
This, too, was goddamned hilarious. I wished Donut was here. She’d probably be shrieking and sending messages in all caps.
I felt my pelvis shatter under the constriction of Vinata. She was trying to rip my head off. She continued to scream. She continued to stab. Slam, slam, slam. She would’ve killed me over and over again.
Khepri was gone. His flaming, immortal bugs were not. They continued to swarm, covering both Vinata and myself, biting and scratching and burning. I registered all of this as my head continued to pound on the floor. I could hear liquid in my head splashing back and forth within my own head.
Am I really here? I thought. How can I think when my brain is nothing but gelatin? I clicked another Fine Healing potion.
A human, olive-skinned man casually sat next to us. He crossed his legs and turned his head sideways and looked at me curiously as Vinata ignored him and continued to slam the bloody pulp of my head over and over. I realized that my hair tie—the only part of my outfit that wasn’t magical—had disintegrated in the explosion, and my hair had been unleashed. Vinata held onto clumps of my hair in her fists.
The man sitting next to me gave me smile as if we were sitting across from each other at a table at a restaurant. I couldn’t read his description, but I could feel the heat coming off him.
This was Hellik.
“I’m supposed to kill you,” I tried to say. I have no idea if it came out or not. My mouth felt as if it it was on the wrong side of my head.
I started to prepare another bomb to drop, but a distant part of me registered I had to time it all correctly. Vinata’s immortality would run out before my own. I suspected, this time, it wouldn’t affect Hellik like it had Khepri. But at this point, it didn’t matter anymore. As long as Vinata was dead. As long as Katia got out, then both Donut and Kaita could live.
My skin started to bubble like microwaved cheese. I blinked with my one good eye at the god sitting next to me, examining me. If it wasn’t for the heat, I wouldn’t be able to distinguish him from any other NPC. He looked so normal. So friendly.
He waved his hands, and the immortal insects flew off in all directions, leaving us free of them. Still, I burned.
“Tell my brother I did not kill his son,” Hellik said as my skin seared. “Tell him he cannot kill me, no matter how hard he tries. Tell him I love him, despite his madness. Tell him everything he thinks about me is a lie. Tell him our mother and sister, Apito, has been corrupted. There is a malevolent presence about her, and I believe my nephew learned of it. Tell him the All Tree is beginning to rot. Tell him Nekhebit has returned, and I believe she is behind it all. Tell him we need to work together if we want to survive and discover what happened to our mother and his son. I know you seek an audience with Issitoq to break the truce. I will treat with him on your behalf. Scolopendra stirs. It is all connected.”
You have been marked as a friend of the church by Hellik. Worshippers of Hellik will no longer be automatically hostile toward you.
With that, he stood up and disappeared. A notification came that he left the realm.
Vinata, for her part, was still taken over by her own madness. The princess of the Blood Sultanate continued to slam my head against the ground while she crushed the rest of me. Even as her body burned, she slammed me over and over.
Surely her immortality had to be expired by now.
I about to drop the next bomb when I felt the sluggalo burst out of my back. He—actually, a she—slipped out from under my shirt, whooped loudly, and planted a hatchet right between Vinata’s eyes, killing her.
“Yeah, bitch! Right in the nugget!” the sluggalo woman shouted. She looked down at me as Vinata’s lifeless body slipped off of me and to the side. “I wish I had feet. I’d make me some snakeskin boots!”
Chapter 55
<Note Added by Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>
Two quick notes. I’ve updated the trap recipe for alarm traps based on Justice Light’s advice. We can now use recordings, and if you have a proper bard in your party, you can record a magical song and have it play once activated. Details are in the recipe. Donut’s bard skills, unfortunately, aren’t good enough for this, but that’s something we can work on later. Justice Light also showed me how to access the advanced alarm menu, which comes with a wider music database for the traps. Also, to Donut’s delight, we can add a playlist to a trap, meaning we don’t have to have a single song over and over. Still can’t adjust the volume.
Second note. Tipid says the mantaurs this season are different than previous iterations. The ones this season have a group berserking mechanic that can be easily triggered by a certain type of music. This explains why on the fourth floor they were walking around with blasting boomboxes.
Under normal circumstances, you don’t want them to get triggered, especially in groups of three or more. See Azin’s article on berserking, specifically group berserking, for more details.
~
System Message: The Sepsis Whore of the Blood Sultanate has fallen. Credit for the kill has been given to Kandy “Bigs” Newton of the Princess Posse.
System Message: The Blood Sultanate has been defeated.
System Message: All assets of the Blood Sultanate, as per prior arrangement, have been split evenly with the surviving blood relatives of the Sepsis Whore, Warlord Princess Donut and General Katia Grim, both of the Princess Posse. As per prior arrangement, all assets have been forfeited to the Princess Posse.
Katia: Who the hell is Kandy Newton and where the hell are you, Carl?
Donut: YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT!
Additional notifications continued to roil as I finally registered what never-ending mana actually meant. My Heal spell’s cooldown was almost nonexistent, and I started to cast it over and over.
I had five seconds left on my immortality, and gods were leaving the realm. Still, most of my buffs and debuffs would remain for some time. But first and foremost, I had to make certain I was healed as much as possible and as quickly as I could. I cast Heal yet again as my body jigsaw puzzled itself back together. My inebriation waned as the pain in every corner of my body waxed.
“Oh, daddy, you don’t look so good,” the sluggalette said, looking down at me. She was only level 29, and she’d killed Vinata. The naga must not have fully healed herself before the immortality expired. The slug was the size of a bulldog. She had little wisps of pink-dyed hair, monk-style, circling around her round head. Piercings ran down the slide of her slimy head, reminding me of that goblin shamanka from so long ago. A single hatchet grew straight up from the center of her head. It dripped with blood.
I still couldn’t bend my legs. I still had suction cups at the end of my fingers. Screaming worms still flowed out of my nose. Thankfully, the Emberus ring seemed to catch up as some of the other debuffs were contained, including the slugpox.
I sat up. This room was completely empty except for me and the sluggalo. To my right, the portal to the temples was cracked and sparking. The desk was just gone, minus the outer shell. It smelled like ash.
I blinked and stared at the corpse of Vinata, broken on the floor. The Sepsis Whore.
Her white scales were actually gray with a hint of red along her neck. The white had been some sort of makeup or effect. An effect that had been eradicated in the explosion.
In death, she didn’t look so big. I took her corpse into my inventory.
A distant crash echoed, followed by the shouting of mantaurs.
Yo! This boss battle ain’t over until you get out of the club!
“Hey, get away! He’s mine, bitch!” the sluggalette—Kandy Newton—said to someone.
I looked up. It was Samantha, and she flew into the room, hovering high off the ground. She looked like she’d caught a face-first blast from a jet engine. She was nothing but a black husk, and her hair smoldered. It would take her hours to regenerate. She came to hover over me. The smeared “Miss Me?” on her forehead was miraculously still intact, shining bright in the center of her charred forehead.
“She’s an imposter!” Samantha spit, ignoring the Sluggalette who was grunting and trying to jump, swinging her head hatchet at her. “Carl, get up. You have to help me kill this eagle kidnapper imposter asshole!”
“What?” I asked. I tried to stand, but it was difficult when I couldn’t bend my knees. Another distant crash echoed. Immortal bugs were coming back into the room from random hallways. They chittered and hissed angrily. Only some were still on fire.
Katia: Carl. We’re trapped in the lobby. The door between the Dagda temple and the lobby shut, and we got locked down, cutting off Li Na’s auras. Daniel got away but Li Jun and Zhang are still in here. Mantaurs and ogres and all sorts of other things are everywhere, and we’re fighting them off. A few gods remain, but they’re all fighting each other. Prepotente says we need to get to the mapmaker guild back up on the second floor. Meet us there.
Carl: I’m coming.
Samantha was shouting, but she wasn’t making sense. “My mother! You told me I could go kill my mother, but when I went there, she was an eagle! A boy eagle! My mother is not like Diwata. She can’t just grow a dingaling. Wait, do eagles have dingalings?”
“Your mother was a skyfowl?” I asked. Oh shit, I thought, realization dawning on me.
The second, backup part of our plan was a bit of a hail Mary, and I hadn’t expected it to work. We’d needed Samantha to open the door into the Khepri temple, and we’d gotten her to agree because we also promised to let her find her way into the temple of her own mother, the goddess Theia. In the lore of the dungeon, Samantha and Theia hated each other, but in reality, Theia was sponsored by an agent for the Open Intellect Pacifist Network. We hoped at best, the goddess would order her clerics to assist us, perhaps by giving Samantha some sort of boon. At worst, Samantha would get into the temple and get kicked out by the cleric.
What we hadn’t expected was for her to come into contact with actual gods, and especially not Theia herself. I didn’t know who the sponsor actually was. Rosetta told me it was someone I didn’t know. A previous crawler activist who hated the dungeon just as much we did, but I had the impression it was not a cookbook author. Apparently it was a male skyfowl. Like with Huanxin Jinx on the previous floor, sponsored gods had the option to appear as their regular form. In theory, NPCs such as Samantha would still see them as the gods. But, apparently, that didn’t work with Samantha. She’d gone into the temple expecting to see her mother and had somehow come face-to-face with a male skyfowl.
I still didn’t know how all the gods were getting out in the first place.
Victory had returned to the room. Both Samantha and the sluggalette noticed her. The sluggalette moved at her, hatching swinging as Samantha continued to swear. “You! She was there, too! She told the imposter he wouldn’t be allowed to help! She’s in on the conspiracy! Momnapper! Where is my mother! Tell me now or I’ll kill yours!”
Kandy attempted to bury her hatchet into Victory’s leg, but it just went right through. Victory ignored her. “Sponsors causing deities to act outside their nature is against faction wars rules,” Victory said. “It gives an unfair advantage. That usually doesn’t stop it from happening anyway, and there’s only so much we can do, but it is considered cheating, and I reminded both the Maestro and Rectrix of that before coming to observe Carl drop a bomb at his own feet.”
I grasped onto the charred remains of the desk and pulled myself up. I was pretty sure Rectrix was not a name I’d heard before, though it did sound oddly familiar, and I wasn’t sure why. It didn’t matter right now. All of this would be for nothing if we couldn’t get out of here. “Samantha, we can talk about this later. We need to go. We just gotta get down the hallway to the mapmaker guild.”
Samantha grunted. “Good luck with that. Speaking of Diwata. Doesn’t she hate you, Carl? She’s in the hallway over there having sex and fighting with Vertumnus at the same time. Those two can’t keep their hands off each other. Diwata is such a slut. It smells like someone dumped a barge full of mulch over a succubus’s bachelorette party in there. I wouldn’t go that way.”
Shit, I thought. I sent a warning to Katia, but she’d already responded.
Katia: The hallway we need to get to is filled with vines, and there are mantaurs everywhere! I don’t know where they’re coming from! And there are something called Basilica Guards now, too. They’re ogres. They’re coming up from below!
Prepotente: There are two deities in the hallway. We need to distract them or hide until they go away.
The hallway I needed to get to was just around the corner. Katia and the others would be coming from the other side. I didn’t have mantaurs in here, but I could hear their constant shouting. There were fighting sounds everywhere, and I wasn’t certain who was fighting who or why.
A massive, eight-foot, golden-skinned ogre in flowing robes came from around the corner. Yellow light glowed in the ogre’s hands. He was flanked on either side by a mantaur guard. I looked up in awe at the massive creature.
Carl: Guys, has your Black Nimbus run out yet?
Prepotente: I negated it with a potion the moment we were out.
Carl: Good. Activating Operation Head Banger now.
The original plan, which we never got to implement, involved me forcing the mantaurs into going berserk and fight the rams and anyone else who got in the way while we burst into the Khepri temple. Once inside the temple, I would cast Li Na’s tattoo spell—which I still hadn’t used—to kill all the nagas before we fled using the chaos as a distraction.
We hadn’t needed the alarm trap because Li Na’s aura had been so effective. We hadn’t used the chain spell because, well, I’d decided to blow myself up instead.
Seven or eight more mantaurs circled the corner and stopped to face us.
But now I had to use both.
I examined the ogre.
Brother Widespread Tempest. Ogre Basilica Cleric Guard. Level 125.
This NPC worships Taranis.
This NPC is Untouchable. That probably doesn’t mean what you think it means. You can still touch him. He’s probably gonna try to touch you first, though.
The Basilica Guards are the ogres who guard, you guessed it, the Basilica Entrance of Club Vanquisher on the 12th Floor. They all worship Taranis, and they are one of the few non-deities who have the ability to—at least temporarily—stop a deity from passing a threshold. Their worship of Taranis imparts them the rare and famed Untouchable status, meaning gods aren’t allowed to attack them.
As a result, these guys are like the tow truck drivers of the Ascendency. Everybody knows they’re necessary, and everybody hates them anyway. This has made them very grumpy and honestly, kind of lonely.
You don’t want these guys to leave their post on the 12th floor because if they do, odds are good that the bored gods hanging out in the halls may notice that the basilica’s entrance is wide open. And if that happens, some of those naughty gods may wander off untethered.
“You die now,” the ogre said, pointing at me. On either side of him, the mantaurs unleashed their hand claws.
“Okay, Kandy is it?” I asked the sluggalette, stepping back as I wiped another screaming worm away. I still couldn’t bend my knees, which really, really sucked. The worms didn’t seem to hurt or attack me, but it wasn’t pleasant, either. At least the slugpox had stopped again. “Stay with me. Kill anyone who gets in my way. I have some friends we’re meeting halfway. Don’t hurt them. But I want you to sink a hatchet into anyone else. Things are about to get loud.”
“Call me Bigs,” the sluggalette said. She swung her head hatchet which flecked naga blood everywhere. “Is this ogre dude our friend or is he getting kneecapped?”
“He’s not our friend,” I said as I took the Black Nimbus potion and hurled it at the ogre. Before it even reached him, I dropped the two alarm traps and let them roll off into opposite directions. The potion splattered against the ogre’s chest as the announcement rang out.
This song didn’t chart in the Billboard Hot 100, but it did top off at number 10 in October of 1990 in the Finnish charts, and that’s good enough for me! It’s Holy Wars... The Punishment Due.
I wasn’t familiar with this song, which was by the band Megadeth, but Louis had insisted it would be the perfect tune to force berserk status onto the mantaurs. After the first few bars of the heavy metal riff echoed, I knew he was correct.
The white ball of flames in the ogre’s hand whiffed out as the crackling black halo formed around his head. The “Un” part of the “Untouchable” status over his head faded away. Multiple symbols appeared over his head and started to circle one another. They were marked for death symbols by gods... and there were a lot of them.
I could no longer hear, but the “Oh fuck” forming on the ogre’s lips was unmistakable.
Warning: A Mantaur Mosh Pit is about to form.
I didn’t know what, exactly, that meant. I didn’t want to find out. The ogre turned, and he ran. Three of the mantaurs screamed and followed him. A moment later, some god vine thing rushed past, followed by the same cheetah I’d seen earlier.
Katia: They’re moving from the hallway!
If Diwata was in that mass of vines, I didn’t wait to find out. I was still marked for death by them, and the moment I was noticed, they would come after me.
The remaining mantaurs, now glowing, shouted and charged at us. I pulled two more Black Nimbus potions as I activated Profane Iron.
I felt my own skin tear as dozens of chains ripped from my flesh. Two of the chains reached down and plucked the potions from my hands. Each one shot out in a different direction and smashed into a different mantaur, simultaneously knocking the creatures over and inflicting them with Black Nimbus. A third chain wrapped around the neck of another, and a fourth tripped two more. Two more struck, scorpion-like at the closest, piercing directly into the guard’s flesh at his clavicles. He screamed and blindly swung as hot, red blood sprayed over me, Samantha, and Bigs. The mantaur’s still-screaming head, along with part of a spinal column was ripped from his body and discarded.
The mantaurs, confused, blinded by their berserking status, lashed out at their two comrades with the nimbus status while my prehensile chains stabbed and choked the others, cutting, ripping, and whipping at astonishing speed.
The fight was over in seconds, which was good because the skill didn’t last long. Li Na had several chain spells and skills, and this was different than her regular ones. This was a once-a-day, multiple chains at once skill. I could only do it for about thirty seconds. She said she could now do it for about a minute and a half. I could only truly control two of the chains. She could control ten. She used it to attack multiple enemies at once, but it was actually designed as a defensive skill, like a type of shield.
More mantaurs rushed by, ignoring the slaughter here and moving in the same direction the ogre had gone. Samantha was circling my head, screaming something. Victory stood there, her hands on her ears.
I didn’t hesitate. The line of guilds was just around the corner. I ran. Sort of. I stiff-legged myself in that direction, almost tripping over rapidly-dying vines. A second ogre appeared, and I hit him with the same potion. He, too, ran away.
I turned the corner just as the four others—Katia, Prepotente, Li Jun, and Zhang—rounded the corner at the other end of the hall. Bianca was also out and roaring. So was Annie, Katia’s totem. The skull-headed bird was covered in blood and disappeared in a puff of smoke. A strange, sap-like substance dripped from the ceiling. The walls shook. There was an announcement, but I couldn’t hear it.
There was no map-making guild on my map, but Prepotente moved to a wall panel, pressed against it, and pushed. The hidden door appeared, and we all rushed the door.
You have discovered two hidden guilds. You have discovered the Map-Making Guild! You have discovered the Calligrapher’s Guild!
Entering the Calligrapher’s Guild.
We all pushed inside as Prepotente slid the door behind him closed.
“Again?” a voice asked. “Again?”
“Bianca,” Prepotente called as he pulled the bloody goat dragon into a pet carrier. “Mind the papers.”
“I’m alive,” Zhang said. He looked up at the ceiling, shaking his fist. “Fuck you! I’m alive! I’m alive!”
“Who am I killing?” Bigs asked waving her head ax around.
But I barely registered this as I stared at the bat-like creature, the guildmaster staring back at us. She was looking at Prepotente, but then she was saw me staring at her. She met my gaze.
“Milk?” I asked.
And even though she didn’t know before this, in that moment, she did. I could see it. But more importantly, I could feel it.
“Carl, are you okay?” It was Katia.
And up until that moment, I’d been holding it all back. Those moments when I wasn’t there and I wasn’t here. Those horrific seconds as I’d reformed. It was like all the pain anyone had ever felt, all shoved into a single moment. I had born it because what other choice did I have? Everything was moving so fast. Everything was still moving fast.
But in that moment as I realized the creature standing before me was the author of the sixth edition of the cookbook, my sister, and that she’d been here the whole time, something inside of me ... changed.
I didn’t break. No. I wasn’t broken. I will not be broken.
“Milk,” I whispered a second time. This time, it wasn’t a question.
“Child, come here,” the strange creature said, wrapping me in leathery wings. She held on me as I pretended like I wasn’t, finally, sobbing.
“It’s not over yet,” I managed to whisper. “Not even close.”
“I know. Don’t you worry. It’s okay,” she said, stroking me with her wings. I knew all around me, the others were watching this, absolutely bewildered. We weren’t safe yet. Still, I didn’t care. I wrapped my arms around this stranger, and I didn’t want to ever let go.
“Let it out,” she whispered. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
And I did. I rested, just for a moment. I pulled off that heavy, heavy mask, just for a moment.
Donut messaged me as I remained wrapped in the woman’s embrace.
Donut: ARE YOU OUT OF THERE YET? WHAT’S HAPPENING?
Carl: We’re almost out.
Donut: ARE YOU OKAY? NOTHING HAPPENED HERE. WE DIDN’T HAVE TO USE JUICE BOX’S DIGGERS AFTER ALL. IT WAS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
Carl: It was easy here, too. Went off without a hitch.
Donut: I’M SO GLAD.
Carl: See you soon, Donut.
~
<Note Added By Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>
I know you’re dead, Drakea, but I haven’t forgotten how much you hated the naga. If there is a veil, like I know you believed, I hope you watched that from the other side. I’m not sure what the implications of today are for the naga as a people, but I did what I could. I know it’s not enough, not yet, but I hope you would be proud of what happened today. I’m doing my best, but goddamn. Goddamn. It’s getting harder ever day to keep myself from drowning.
Part III. Open Warfare.
~~~~~
And thus ends part 2. Part III is probably going to go faster than you think. Can Carl keep it together long enough? Let’s see! Thank you everybody for your support.
Was hoping to have the book 7 cover art finished, but it is not. Soon! In the meantime, here's a patch coming with the kickstarter rewards
Comments
Ian Oloughlin
Which short stories?
David W
Will the short stories about the 17th floor be turned into audio versions?
Deana Whitney
I really hope we see Milk freed by a loop. "Oh you need to help 333 people to be free. Well, here's a 1,000 crawlers that all need a map or an invitation writen. We'll get you freed this season. " ❤️
Aj Cross
I found that on the web page vs the app. :)
Aj Cross
Heya, I discovered if you go into benefits you can connect to the discord server. I think it is possibly what we need to do.
Jentry Lange
Absolutely love to see Carl letting down that heavy, heavy mask. The addition of the cookbook authors into the mix has been such a great opportunity to show off the depth of Carl.
Dave LeBlanc III
Hell Matt, as a guy that has PTSD from my younger years and the army. This writing is so insanely relatable. I never would have described the feeling as a river until reading this. Now I don't have a word that comes close to being as right. This is extremely potent description. Thank you. Baby typo "But I barely registered this as I stared at the bat-like creature, the guildmaster staring back at us. She was looking at Prepotente, but then she was saw me staring at her. She met my gaze." Looks like maybe an extra was in the second to last paragraph.
Jay Eisner
"Child, come here". Matt, you understand trauma. I'm sorry for that. But I deeply appreciate you for the catharsis I find reading your work.
Aj Cross
I absolutely will. So far, I have not found out.
Chrissy Schoch
If you ever find out, let me know. I have been trying to coordinate mine for months
Storm Monette
I don't know if Milk will be allowed to disclose the terms of her deal without a severe repercussions from the show runners. But hopefully she can communicate it to Carl or the other cookbook authors in some coded way and they can get her out.
Dylan
Or Emberus is still crazy af and still wants Carl to kill an innocent god who allegedly can’t be killed Matt loves a dark end
Dylan
Great character additions. Loved how you fit them in. Face palmed when the slug got the kill, but it definitely tracks with something the ai would do. I’m so far behind poor me ;)
Brandon Boyd
“But now her secret husband is dead-killed by Prepotente's Instant Plague attack-and her kingdom's plans to pull a Fred Johnson and seize all the shipbuilding factories are being leaked. As we speak, all factory owners are moving to protect their assets from the slippery snake folk.”
Kylar
Come on matt, I'm jonesing for the next stuff! So is my cat, Prince Donut ;)
Lauren J
Any hour now🤞🏼 PLEASE
Dragan
Same feeling brother, same feeling.
Dragan
It’s in the membership tab, but if you’re on mobile the link won’t work correctly. You need to be on a computer or something.
StoveTop
I think you’re only allowed to bring a totem card with you, not any of the other cards - but I could be wrong
Trae Gesling Jr.
Already missing it 🥲 my favorite story
Russ Stevens
That little Gunther dude was cool but I really wanna see more of the wraith skill. I'm desperate for some bad ass carl
Michael Le
I need a hug after reading this
QueenofHartbrake
I’m feeling like it’s today or tomorrow morning.. I got a fever and the only cure is more DCC
Teal
What or where is the Discord link for DCC?
Douglas Erdman
The ramp up ended with these chapters. We're moving into Open Hostilities with the next chapter, so offensive magic is allowed now. It's going to get ugly.
Douglas Erdman
Because they're required by Syndicate law to have a plan for each floor regardless of whether the Crawlers make it that far or not.
Theodora Sparks
I think there are only 5 floors left: 10,11,12,15,and 18. Why would cheap @ss Borant pay for floors that never get used?
Brooke M
Matt, does Patreon give you reports on how many times a subscriber reads a release? Cause if so, I may need to be embarrassed.
Matt C
OMG This is incredible! I cant wait to find out who the AI tortured and murdered! and Milk!!!! Fuuuuuuuuck.... i shouldnt have started reading this! lol
Ryan Smith
I just joined The Platinum box, is there an updated ePub of the chapters of book 7 available?
Ilya Taytslin
We are still in the Ramp Up
Leif Olav Støle
Kinda did in a way. Why would he know milk, but it does not point at the book, only that something is weird
Leif Olav Støle
Thats what I was thinking as well. But the answer from Ilya sounded like the obvious answer when I read it.
QueenofHartbrake
Also the card they brought from the 6th floor hasn’t been revealed … donut could have brought the golden combo card to merge katia and her to walk down the stairs as one!!
ecoKado
The AI is going to be so angry they all survived. I bet Carl gets a rotten fish or something, because he just won't die. I'm definitely interested to hear about some choice achievements he gets for dropping a bomb at his feet and blowing up a billion immortal bugs. Great end to Part 2!
Patrick Kenney
Amazing. Don’t change a thing. Kandy was a great surprise.
Douglas Erdman
Each phase is a part in the book. From Chapter 17: The Four Phases of Combat, plus triggering conditions. The Ceasefire. 66 Hours. Current Phase. 50 hours left. The Ramp-Up. Triggers when the Ceasefire ends. 180 Hours. Open Hostilities. Triggers when the Ramp-Up Expires. The Peeling of Larracos. Triggers Once Conditions are met.
Riyon Hutton
And so it begins
Riyon Hutton
It would be fun if milk makes him a map of the dungeon and all of the secret passages
Riyon Hutton
Obviously Carl shouldn’t have spilled it
Riyon Hutton
I’d love that because I need bigger text
Riyon Hutton
I did not see it either
Riyon Hutton
There’s a betting pool as to who lives and dies before the live stream begins
Aj Cross
Lurker and dungeon crawler here. I'm wondering what email we are supposed to coordinate with Matt concerning tier rewards. Yes, Mongo is appalled that I'm asking...isn't it enough that Carl and Donut exist at all. 🤔🤪
Ilya Taytslin
IIRC, “The Song of Ice and Fire” was originally supposed to be a trilogy
Ilya Taytslin
The Dream, not the Soothers
Joseph Harris
I think the A.I. was trying to help him out in his own twisted way. If the audience isn’t talking about you then you don’t get good prizes and if you don’t get good prizes then you don’t survive.
Joseph Harris
I think Carl has copied the entirety of the book into his notepad. He could theoretically send it to every Crawler he knows using that Voodoo book and neither the show runners nor the galactic audience would know.
Joseph Harris
That program is ran by the Dream and they did try to kill Carl in an earlier chapter using one of the characters from the show. Adjunct Victory called foul and I believe the matter is under some kind of legal review.
Fyzzghank
Thought provoking list. Did Matt say “no more than 10” or “about 10”? No disrespect to anyone but authors of long series often underestimate the actual number of books. Also, for a series where knowing the exact number of books would be a spoiler, I wonder if he is being tactically vague.
Sabe F.
Speaking of Milk, it got me thinking about recipes for crafting. Per book 2 Carl gets recipes that he manually assembles away from crafting tables added to a crafting recipe tab (from when he made the heal critter potion) so when he was combined with Shi-Maria and crafted those potions shouldn't he have recipes from that added to his crafting menu? Additionally shouldn't he have item history as well to show the potions leaving his inventory, thus helping give a recipe? Seems like something Carl would be adept at figuring out now that the naga's exit will give him brainspace.
Daniel Clark
Brother will kill brother Spilling blood across the land Righteous.
Daniel Clark
The ending with Milk was HEAVY AF. Awesome.
Dragan
He said 4 in the beginning, but he also said it’s going to end soon so who knows.
Douglas Erdman
The interaction with the "Vengance of the Daughter" show happened earlier in this book. The Dream own the rights to the story from the original producers and used one of the elite NPC tattoos that were brought to life to attempt to assassinate Carl & Donut in the Princess Posse castle command center. Baroness Victory called a 'foul' for the attempt & prevented the assassination. *edited to fix my mistake about it being the Dream instead of soothers.
Douglas Erdman
The AI opened System-wide betting on the outcome of the boss battle. It was explained in a previous book by Odette. You can make straight wagers like "Carl Lives" or more complex bets like "Carl Lives, the Naga dies by a Sluggalo & the god gets banished by another god" that pay a lot more. Zhang Lives 2X Jackpot I think was an incentive for people to wager on that, Since Borant/Valtay are the house when these bets occur, Zhang living is probably going to cost them a lot of money.
Jay Prado
just waiting for the shoe to fall
fightnerd
Form the first time since I started this series I am caught up with everything that is out. I don't like that.
HT
Could have something to do with the All Tree rotting, since Grimaldi merged with it after the third floor.
fightnerd
I'm a huge expanse fan, I somehow missed it. What was it?
Teal
Assuming: They are part of the lineage of the whore due to the crown/tiara, and they Donut and K have royal “obligations” such as not leaving the floor to fulfill which is an issue since the floor collapse kills. Still unclear who or how this will pan out but stage one of get the family dead has happened. Next is maybe the flower that can help who ever eats it leave the floor. Mystery.
Teal
Carl has that “Vengeance” show he is “ obligated” to be active with which has not been revealed, stumbled into yet of exactly what it is going to encompass.
Teal
I’m imagining that Carl and Company will get to the ascendancy floor and wreck that which will cause some kind of spiraling out of control rage from the galaxy governments. Anything past that is extremely vague from the lore aside from the Sheol floor and the big bad unknown centipede mega boss at bottom who is currently in an awakened notification stir.
Jen
Who knows... Maybe the entire dungeon will get destroyed at some point. I doubt it'll continue on for much longer with the levels. There's so much going on behind the scenes and the fight could continue outside of the dungeon, where the guys responsible for the Crawl can be hurt/taken out. It's never going to be the same again. Carl is set up as this character who's changing everything for the Crawlers. Giving them hope. This is a "revolution" and I just can't picture our favourite characters going through all the floors.
Cristian Rojas - Benoy
How many parts should we expect in this book?
William Smallwood
I think he's said in the past that each floor will get its moment to shine, but may not be a whole books worth.
James Brown
Ok i must have missed something. What is going to happen to donut and katia? What was the prior arrangement for the assets and will they both now be able to go to the 10th floor?
HT
So let me get some things straight: 1. The two things we know about Milk are that they knew how to make an ink to share powers and that they were sad not to be able to make a stew to share ancestral knowledge 2. All the food on the floor is being served “chowder style” ie in soup or stew form 3. Katia has an edible flower that can shift people between floors 4. Carl is making nice between Hellik and Emberus so He probably won’t get smote for travelling to the 12 floor without killing Hellik. 5. Matt doesn’t see this series going past 10 books but there are 9 more floors Hmmm, all this so Matt can make the joke that jerking off a crab helped the crawlers skip 2 floors?
Ilya Taytslin
Every NPC has their name over them
peggydavis3
Okay! I’m sure it needs the addition
Maria P
I would have one
William Magee
Is there a scenario where the cookbook doesn’t disappear now? Also, thanks Matt! That was awesome :)
Frank Morgana
He can view someone and see their properties. Most likely it will pop up as an addition later with an Ai description like Mortacai on every floor opening!
William Smallwood
Dungeon Crawler Carl and The Level That Kinda Took Care of Itself and Everything Worked Out Better Than Expected.
peggydavis3
How does Carl know it’s Milk ? What am I missing?
peggydavis3
“The man sitting next to me gave me *a* smile” if no one else pointed that out yet.
StoveTop
There is, it’s in the membership tab, I think you’ll have to use the desktop web browser to get to it instead of the mobile app. Then if you want the Patreon discord channel/chat you have to link your Patreon to discord, using the desktop web browser for both instead of the mobile apps
Nick
There’s a link? I can’t even find that
peggydavis3
Zhang will die before they get out of the building, I think.
Tim Faulkner
That's a good question! I have no idea
Dirty Dibbler
Does that mean the crew gets 2 Celestial boxes or whatever the prize is, or the gamblers get the multiplier on the winnings?
worldSeries
I can’t find the passage but that wasn’t my impression; Carl makes a comment that the former crawlers seem to have expected him to get what to do with the root, and he triple checked milks entries— it makes it seem like there should have been specific recipes from milk and that there are entries from her that are missing for some reason
QueenofHartbrake
If I’m not mistaken that God protects him from lycanthropy and vampicy .. he worshiped that god after his person became a vampire … and since you have to see the god to be able to worship them it was probably a sponsor box that gave him the ability to worship that god just like katia… it’s is heavily implied by the patch that Carl got with the same symbol as pony’s hand tattoos that Carl got from a sponsor box when they went to rescue Miriam and pony
G Stephenson
Fucking Megadeth saw the title and the riff kicked off in my head EPIC SHIT "EEEEEEEITHER WAY THEY DIE! THEY DIIIIIIIIEEEE!" Fuck yes it was the right song lololol
Jubi Lee
I can't figure out how to get access either
Joseph Harris
The portal was INSIDE of the temple. The A.I even said that “deity summoning doesn’t count against your limits when temples are involved.” The Adjunct for the Naga even showed up accusing Carl of summoning gods. So you are incorrect. It is possible.
StoveTop
How do I get access to the discord that discusses these book 7 chapters? I followed the link in the membership tab of patreon but the discord chat for the patreon discussion says that it's locked
Lucas P
Milk runs both the Cartography guild and Calligrapher’s guild
Lucas P
Ooh good thinking! I was freaking out thinking Carl had inadvertently revealed the cookbook's existence
Lucas P
I'm pretty sure Matt uploads one once the book is done!
Ilya Taytslin
It was never brought up until now. The only reason we know Pony has been worshipping since at least the 6th floor is because that's when Carl noticed his Epicure tattoo. But back then Carl did not know what it signifies.
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
Huh, I missed that completely. 😅 I don't think that (or the benefits he gets) is brought up a lot.
Nicholas Sels
Pony has been worshipping since at least the 6th floor.
Fyzzghank
I think it was trying to needle him cause he hasn’t been as interesting as the others? Maybe this will signify him getting more attention going forward?
Neil Taylor
If you download LibreOffice, their is a epub plugin. Cop and paste the contents in a doc and export as epub https://help.libreoffice.org/6.1/he/text/shared/01/ref_epub_export.html
Fyzzghank
Apito!!!! Wow!!! I mean, wow everything before this lines up with the unfortunate “Apito is being influenced or driven by something linked to Scolopendra” angle. Ever since Donut was identified by those idiots as The Oak Fell I’ve been waiting for something like this. Also about 20 other holy shit story developments and I teared up at the end. So amazing! Zhang!! Perepotente! Hellik! Milk!
worldSeries
You’re so right, they should be indestructible
Jay Prado
Hahaha just a completely splattered smear of a body with a pair of pristine feet in front of it.
Brian Thompson
Is there an epub for what's been released so far for book 7?
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
Huh, so Pony worships a god. (Epicure.) I wonder what convinced him to do so - and if he is capable of not being a jerk to his deity haha. Also, damn, Matt - I really thought Pony was gonna die in this update. Amazing twists, as always. :)
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
Great catch! Canonically, that's exactly what should've happened hahaha
Tyrant Grant
Is Li Na a Cinobite?
Tyrant Grant
Is Li' Na a freaking Cinobite? Pinhead's little sister?
Brooke M
So it’s interesting that none of the current crawlers have gotten the killing blow on a warlord… sluggalo got the naga, mongo killed the empress, the blob guy was blown up by a former crawler, and the lemig dude offed himself.
Misterzod
It would be funny if Carl's feet stayed intact
Ilya Taytslin
What exactly did Zhang do to piss off the AI?
joseph peltier
I thought she wouldn’t be free as long as donut is alive, unless she can escape the floor somehow? Aren’t both Katia and donut still considered to be blood sultanate members?
Terra
milk! and omg the sluggalo securing the win! i really didn't realize zhang and li jun and bautista got away, i thought only katia and prepotente did, but yay!
Neil Taylor
Crawler Allister, Good one. Surly this Alister Crowley 😀
Joseph Harris
They’re technically out already. Milk knows the secret exits out of the club. She got Pony and Miriam Dom out the same way after Pony went on his rampage a few books back.
worldSeries
Calling it now I don’t think Zhang is getting out of the club alive
Joseph Harris
It was also explained in the chapter by that newly arrived adjunct that someone summoned gods. That’s why she was calling foul. She accused Carl of being responsible for it.
Tim Faulkner
"2x Jackpot if Zhang lives", I don't know why that was so funny but I'm sitting here in the middle of a restaurant trying not to cackle like a madman
Victor Ludick
Would love that!
Douglas Erdman
The notice said Carl discovered two hidden guilds. "You have discovered the Map-Making Guild! You have discovered the Calligrapher’s Guild!"
Douglas Erdman
It was explained in the chapter. The guards left their post to deal w/ the mess Carl started and that let the gods sneak into the club through the 12th floor door. The Basilica Guards are the ogres who guard, you guessed it, the Basilica Entrance of Club Vanquisher on the 12th Floor....You don’t want these guys to leave their post on the 12th floor because if they do, odds are good that the bored gods hanging out in the halls may notice that the basilica’s entrance is wide open. And if that happens, some of those naughty gods may wander off untethered.
Immortal R.C.
They cannot teleport or summon (outside a temple) in the second phase, so that isn’t possible
Kevin Veldman
THIS IS AN EXCELLENT THEORY
Trevor Mallow
It’s stated that he entered the mapmakers guild but they called it the Calligraphers guild rather than the Cartographers guild.
Jacob Whitten
My theory is there is even hidden text within the book itself, considering milks expertise is in inks.
William Lyle
Zhang! You did it!
Joseph Harris
They did get a lot of achievements during that fight. We just don’t know what they are yet, but Li Na being basically a one person army, Carl technically defeating a god in a fight and Zhang beating the odds after the A.I picked on him should result in some top tier prizes.
Charles White
I cannot wait for the after action achievements and god messages
QueenofHartbrake
I was truly disappointed no1 got a god killer achievement :( I was looking forward to a celestial choco box
Mikel G
Milk is an NPC, she would have a name plate. That's my guess.
Brandon Boyd
I enjoyed The Expanse reference ;)
Ilya Taytslin
Only if he shares the book during Faction Wars. On the tenth floor Baroness Victory will no longer matter. Or even in the ninth floor after Faction Wars are over.
Joshua Galaise
Right after he gets into the mapmakers guild he looks up at the ceiling and shakes his fist and says fuck you, I'm alive, I'm alive
Eric
Kandy and Milk in one chapter! RuGirls unite! I bet Bigs is going to have a huge XP boost from that kill. Could even become....Biggs DarkLighter....a true Rebel
Ilya Taytslin
When did Zhang talk shit to AI? I do not remember that.
Big I
I think it's Carl's Primal racial effect. He's got some sort of psychic ability going on, like when he and Katia drank that potion.
SlaveToMyWhims
LoL, i didn't think anyone would pick up on suck a subtle reference.
Eric
Victory is going to call foul!
Joseph Harris
Carl, Li Na and Zhang deserve Celestial Boxes for their assault on the temple. Especially Zhang.lol
Sandboy OC
Hey! What the fuck?
Joseph Harris
The A.I started it, though. 😂 I don’t think he’ll be mad at all. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Zhang got a Celestial box for surviving.
Daniel Wills
That one caprid, can’t remember what the role is called, is gonna flip and try even harder to get Carl removed.
Konlin Gappmayer
The milk part I really didn’t expect at all. You take Carl who has carried all this weight. Then he is literally broken and rebuilt and broken and rebuilt. to the point that he thinks he is dead. What happens to you when you’ve died and come back? What happens when you’ve died and come back to the same weights and problems that were there before? Not only is this such a good character moment for Carl but it has me thinking deeper about my own religious beliefs. Then you close the door from the chaos, for a moment a rest, and there is someone that is a friend. That understands but it separate from the weight. In that same moment of surrender donut messages and Carl responds with who he thinks at least he needs to be. In puts on context the weight he’s under. I know this is long but Matt, this was one of my favorite chapters not just of your series but that I’ve read. Thank you for writing it.
Sam
I think Rectrix could be Remex's son. In book 2 Remex says he's going to see his son when he completes his exit deal then in book 5 Quasar says Remex "gave it all up to save his kid". These feel like hints based on the info from the latest chapters.
Teal
Milk was a cook book author entry and Rosetta’s tv crew might have or might not have tried to use “milk” as an imbedded message before Carl was ejected from her tv show — by the liaison Harbinger intervening. …”The report said your special ingredients were simple. Milk and potatoes… I remembered one of Milk's passages in particular. It wasn't a recipe or important information.”
Konlin Gappmayer
Does a tail count as someone’s foot? If it does Carl just got squeezed and broken over and over and over again. He’s getting all of those daddy boxes.
Konlin Gappmayer
I thought about being his brother too but it seems like that breaks the story in to many ways.
Konlin Gappmayer
I thought there was a small chance that he would you doomsday. I’m really glad he didn’t.
Joseph Harris
He probably read her description when he saw her and when he saw that her name was Milk he instantly made the connection.
Joseph Harris
Rishi is going to be a problem if he is still alive. I also think Rosetta and Tipid opened the Gate Of The Feral Gods INSIDE of the temple which resulted in all of the additional chaos.
Maria P
Just in case there is a need: my fiance always puts the new chapters in a drive and creates an epub for me to read it on kindle. I can offer to share it, if Matt is okay with it/ wants to add it to patreon for new readers :-)
FossilWreckers
Milk's about to catch an axe from the sluggalo. Do we think Newton is Carl's last name?
Zauz
Legit was expecting the sluggalo to kill him right there lol
CaptainFlowers
If I'm not mistaken she included an entry in the cookbook about being in the map room, but I can't recall exactly why. He probably thought she was long gone or dead by now. But they recognized each other as cookbook authors with just a glance
Tom
Thanks to his pedicure Carl will turn into an amalgam of flesh and hair... and two perfectly groomed feet. Heheh.
Ani-kins
I like that when you're done reading these chapters and someone asks you why you're crying, you can just say, "Milk."
FauxLegs
Yes House, normal
Tyson Vaughan
Wait, how does Carl recognize Milk? Did I miss something?
Jim Robinson
I'm excited to see what rewards Carl gets for this feat.
Daniel Reiss
I was fully expecting Carl to use his invulnerable murder teleport dash power this time, curious when that’ll come into play.
Kelly Cobb
I don't know how you top yourself every drop, Matt, but you keep doing it. Loving this rollercoaster, even when it hurts.
Craig Carey
Matt references him in the first chapter from the drop tonight. "and her kingdom’s plans to pull a Fred Johnson and seize all the shipbuilding factories are being leaked. "
son of gaming
It seems like another point to hint at how dangerously strong Li Na is. I am unsure it this will end well
Claire
if anyone on Ao3 publishes under #Carl Needs a Hug, they will be so happy
son of gaming
I love this book so much. But this chapter again brought me to tears. When Carl gets to let out his sorrow with another Cookbook Author, it just gives such depth to the characters. Awesomely written, thank you Matt.
Mark McIntosh
Did anyone else start blasting Megadeath while reading that part?
Douglas Erdman
It was a flashback earlier in this book when Miriam Dom and Prepotente were in Club Vanquisher & Bianca trashed the place and were in the process of being kicked out. They found the map guild and met Milk and she helped them escape the club.
Douglas Erdman
Yes, but those authors are mercenaries that came into the crawl AFTER they finished the deals they cut during their season and were released and more than likely will be kicked from the dungeon after the 9th floor faction wars. Milk is still stuck in the dungeon as a non-combatant NPC, which means she'll be there for the future floors, unless something happens to her.
David K. Storrs
She's free of the Crown's effect at least. Still, Matt did say he was planning to kill a major character.
David K. Storrs
I don't know that he's inventing any of them so much as taking actual gods from mythology and fitting them to the story. Taranis is the Celtic god of thunder, Khepri was an Egyptian sun for, Apito is from the light novel Tensei Slime, etc.
Michael Hawkins
I truly believe her loyalty lies with Mordecai. She seems genuine when she talks about him. Something tells me the other sky fowl is his brother. I realize we're told he's dead, but Matt likes to twist shit around
David K. Storrs
Whoever does escape is going to get some amazing loot. In particular, Carl must be getting a Celestial box from this. I wonder what it will be?
David K. Storrs
We already knew that there were several former authors here. I remember Justice Light and Rosetta; there might have been others I'm not thinking of.
David K. Storrs
What's his significance here?
David K. Storrs
Remind me where we know that from?
Chern Ann Ng
Zhang has a death flag now…. Still not out of the club. I hope he makes it.
Jake
The pacing you achieve! It's crazy, wheeeh what a ride
Jen
First this part in The Butcher's Masquerade... When Carl is comforting Donut. "You're wearing a mask right now Donut, and you don't know how to remove it. That's ok, you don't need to, not yet. That mask is protecting you." And now this? "And I did. I rested, just for a moment. I pulled off that heavy, heavy mask, just for a moment." Uff... Good shit. But goddamnit, I'm not okay. This is not okay. 😭
Saurid
Awesome chapters, really love carl and milks meeting, I am really looking forward to the emberus storyline and I hope we get some insights in what vintage meant, I really would love to understand why she wanted to leave and so on.
HT
2 mins in and I’m crying 😂 “orc lady with amazing dog paddling skills” Edit: end of the first chapter shouldn’t it be “vinegar bitch” not whore?
Andrew Bartlett
Oh man Louie putting Carl in his place about being intensely terrifying was such an awesome scene. I love the idea of a crawler that has never met the Yolanda guild's perspective. A band of suicidal overpowered crazy people led by the steroid-fuelled cousin of the unabomber. And his cat.
Andrew Bartlett
I'd vote for Hydra of Malicious Compliance or Butcher's Masquerade or Luska the Shark over this. But still very very cool stuff.
Big I
I think it's pretty clear at this point that Carl is going to end up in the Nothing, probably on this floor
Big I
My theory is it's because Carl is a Primal, they've got some sort of psychic thing going on. Like when he and Katia both took that potion.
Gremlils
AHHHH so so good, sluggalo securing the kill was so great. and Milk!!!
Walter Pfaff
I love Gunther, at level 15 he could potentially be used to make up to 5 gods mortal. Stabbing him with Katia’s bolt he got to help kill Grull on the third and then retrieving the bolt would mean his stored attack could duplicate the effect (if he makes it to the gods of course) but would be an unlimited supply of the bolts in essence (with a 10 hour cooldown of course)
Adam
So Odette is sponsoring Nekhebit and Hellik wants her gone. Also the subtle drop that Khnum and a few of the deities are dropping dead sounds like she's pushing her way through their ranks. Maybe Donut will end up worshipping her. I expect Mordecai to alchemically remove her fur if she does.
Andrew Bartlett
I know that's the more likely outcome, but since when has MD been predictable in his twists? Reprise the dead character from book 2! All Hail Ugloo!
Beth Rawson
Princess Formidable, I assumed. Don’t remember what chapter it was, but the AI implied when she got zapped to the surface that she landed in the ocean.
The Lost Pages
I have whole body shivers from the ending of this book. Absolutely phenomenal
Matthew Richardson
I wonder if the betting is going to bankrupt the company running the crawl more because Zhang survived
Andrew Bartlett
Little typo to fix "I had born it because what other choice did I have?" Should be "borne it" as in carrying a burden.
Matthew Richardson
Yeah I was wondering that too. Carl mentioned on a previous book that's he copied the cook book into his scratch pad. So he a copy even if it does vanish. And I do think he will share it.
Alan Meyer
Flashbacks to Butcher's Masquerade
Serial Kilroy
"Only the dead have seen the end of war." -George Santayana or Plato. Someone definitely said it. 🤷🏼♂️
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
The naga reporter (the one Carl stabbed in the neck on floor 6) had suspected that Carl was getting outside help because Carl wasn't careful enough with all his cookbook recipes... The journo just didn't realize *where* exactly that help was coming from, but the brightest observers could already tell something was off. I think everyone's gonna learn about the book's existence, and soon.
Serial Kilroy
So much to process. I've got to say, I don't think I have heard a song so clearly in my head while reading something so insane. Definitely going to blast Rust in Peace tomorrow. \m/
Andrew Bartlett
Orc Lady with dog paddling skills? Maestro's mom has got it going on!!
Jason
Carl did know that Milk was a mapmaker, I think (specialty inks, etc). And probably Milk’s race ..
james whaley
Amazing chapter! Also fan theory. This is the second time he's recognized a previous crawler, and that one reporter has suspicions carl was getting outside help as he knows too much. I think his book is cooked this floor, I think someone's going to catch on to its existence and it'll go away. All crawlers have those messageboard books. I'm starting to suspect that mabye carl might send off the knowledge of the cookbook to the other crawlers through that book.
Guilford Stancill
Really solid chapters. I like how the story amongst the gods is panning out too. Layers upon layers.
William Ranney
I was happy to have understood a deep cut without having to look it up.
username here
That had to do with the root used to make the tattoo ink, it was just a specific thing they expected him to get. He does know Milk just didn't understand what to do with the root.
Ben Woolbright
I felt like the AI saying that people were going to die and then really no one did in the most recent bit was a foreshadowing. I don't think the team is going to make it out of this book very whole.
username here
It probably won't be this book but Carl is heading for a serious meltdown and that is the true ruin. Maybe his brief respite with Milk will be enough but Matt has been alluding to it for a while. Louie chewing out Carl last book over the Christmas thing highlights that Carl is probably an unreliable narrator for his own mental state.
Duke GIJOE
There was a lot to unpack with Helik too. In not sure over seen all the name before, in particular the one Carl is supposed too treat with that Helik offered to do for Carl. Anyone remember?
Duke GIJOE
Honestly I was thinking something similar... May need to add the examination and have Carl cut it of when he gets to Mill's name.
Dan
Or maybe Zhang is getting a celestial box that makes him an absolute monster for the rest of the floor.
username here
Milk is still named Milk, so it doesn't matter what she looks like. As for the other question, Carl's recognition was enough to let Milk know he held the book.
Alan Meyer
Intense and amazing chapters
Alan Meyer
Carl is letting his guard down. Tipid and now Milk. Hope this means that people outside the dungeon don't figure out that he has the cookbook
Teal
Carnage! Slug! Samatha’s confusion! Awesome.
PerfectYarn
I loved every moment of this drop, but I NEED to see the notifications!!!
Tyler Nickel
Great chapters Matt! Thanks again.
Joshua Galaise
Yeah he's straight fucked
worldSeries
There was a reference a few chapters back to how Carl was getting the impression that the other cookbook authors were referring to milk and expecting him to understand, but he’d checked the book and there wasn’t anything… I really want to know more, it’s like the book has been censored, and he can finally connect directly with milk!!
Super Super Supportive Supporter
Oh right duh Been a while since I read this story, I forgot Ty
Michael Hawkins
Joshua Zhang also talked shit to the ai. We know how the ai feels about that
worldSeries
Just ask her 333 questions real quick
Daniel Rue
I think Carl probably simply saw Milk’s name (if I remember correctly they have their names above their head… right? Along with player killer skulls and such?) Then Milk probably gets a newsletter of current events similar to the Bopkas, or at the very least is able to tune in for the show itself and the recap episode. At the *very least*, it’s Carl’s reaction and recognition that queues Milk to realizing, “this crawler knows me… they would only know me if they had the cookbook…”.
Super Super Supportive Supporter
Could someone remind me how Carl knows what Milk looks like, and how Milk recognises Carl
SlaveToMyWhims
I need to mind the timing of my reading of DCC. Even when I'm done reading chaps on here, whatever i read for the rest of the day ends up narrated in Jeff's voice in my head. Normal?
Joshua Galaise
I can only imagine the implications of Carl openly recognizing Milk. And Zhang survived ... for now lol
Ilya Taytslin
Yes, that’s the short version
Ilya Taytslin
It definitely occurred to me. Although I expected he would use The Doomsday Scenario
Tom
Fantastic again. Digging the miasmic crisis while Carl was a puddle. Probably cuz I've been rereading my Thomas Covenant.
Tom
Just some inyalowda who thinks he's a beltalowda. And an excellent reference.
Dragan
I nearly died on the spot when I read that!!
Cash67
SO MUCH HAPPENING!!! I had to read it twice to process it all, such a rollercoaster!
Christoph Hall
He could have done that...if he didn't just destroy Club Vanquisher.
Craig Carey
I will look for them and check them out. I am always amazed at Matt's references, there is soooooo many details....
Christoph Hall
The books are amazing. Even the novellas are good. Try them!
Ashley Wilson
Fully bawling at the ending of this one—can’t believe I get to be alive the same time as Matt Dinniman and DCC. 🙌
Jim Robinson
Wow that was intense. I loved it.
Jim Robinson
It was definitely the Princess. I guess she didn't drown after all.
Rane Wallin
The scream I scrum when they said they were meeting at the map guild
D P
Awesome! Carl steps in room. Room goes Boom. The end.
Dragan
Me to, over the moon about it, :)))))))
Kevin Hall
It's a Juneteenth miracle!
Christine Brown
Ok the hug about made me cry
Melissa Glisan
Apparently her dog paddling skills live up to her name ;)
Craig Carey
Thank you!!!
Melissa Glisan
One of the main cast members of the show The Expanse.
mountainswede
A lot of crazy implications and small clues here, in addition to the absolute craziness at the forefront. I expected this book to be different than it has been and for things to go much differently, but it's better than I ever imagined. When things have been built up over the course of an entire series, it's easy to set expectations and build things up a certain way in your head. Matt proves time and time again that he is a genius and knows exactly what's best for the series. Even though I've been wrong before, I see some horrible things coming that are going to be polarizing for the audience, and I know that Matt will make the right choices and tell the story that has the most impact, regardless of whether or not everyone is on board Cant wait to see what's next! EDIT: Also, love The Expanse reference! "Nice woods" feels pretty applicable right now.
Melissa Glisan
Best AI rant/Boss Battle scene MC moment to date. Still giggling like a loon.
Stephen Greenwood
Same!
Gary Singer
Sheer perfection, Matt, just sheer perfection. And the Milk scene was just amazing. Really laughed about Zhang, and the throwaway line about Formidable paddling was hilarious!
Stephen Greenwood
Same here, I tear up when he meets other authors
Alexander Eridani
Remind me, she was dropped in the ocean, yes?
Christine Brown
I spit all over my fucking phone when the female sluggalo yelled 'right in the nugget!" Still reading...
Eleanor Skinner
MOAR.
Tracey Roper
Yaaaaaaaaaay
Craig Carey
Who is fred johnson?
Ranen
👏👏👏👏👏👏 That is all.
Addie
Fuck yes.
Deepak Kamlesh
Thanks, Matt. This was brilliant!
shinobi keeton
Fuckin Zhang baahahahha. How much thicker can the plot get? We're already drowning in gravy over here
Katherine Van
Thanks for explaining! I thought it was just a joke, too! Much appreciated!
CaptainFlowers
Poor Carl man, it feels like he's slipping further and further. I can only imagine what this will do to the other crawlers. I honestly think it'd be both soul crushing and uplifting to see the strongest crawler whose done the impossible finally break down after all the shit dealt to him. Fuck I love this series, and I hate that it's gonna be a week or two before we get more 😩💛 But none the less, thank you si much for the awesome content drop. Looking forward to part three!!
Ilya Taytslin
Si, barata
Adam Newkirk
GODDAMMIT you’re incredible! The intensity and then you break me every time Carl interacts with a former cookbook author for the first time. I cry like Carl cries. Keep up the brilliant work. Each time I think we’re at a peak, you make us turn a corner to stare up at another peak far distant. This elevator appears to only go up.
Nyquistfrequency
Karl could pretty easily free Milk, now that he knows she is there and how to get there. Just send a whole stream of people to use her services. With all the various people in/out of the dungeon "in the know" about how contracts work for various crawlers, should be simple to discover her terms. Or just ask her. Get another cookbooker on the team!
Laura Hemly
Dear God! Every time I think you can't make things crazier, you make them crazier ×10! This whole book will take 27 read-throughs plus a freaking wall-sized chart to keep straight! Seriously, Matt, your capacity for dreaming up insanity is first rate! Also, when you have Carl running into Milk and saying to himself, "I could have born it," it should be "BORNE it." Just FYI.
Loah
God damn. Gooood daamn. I was so hyped for this chapter and Carl paid off masterfully. Die you Naga rats. Milk. God damn. Carl isn't alone with the book in the dungeon after this.
Douglas Erdman
HOLY F'N SH!T!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! And what an ending! They still haven't escaped the club, so the boss battle isn't over yet! Hopefully Milk will get the chance to let Carl know the terms of her indentureship so he & the Princess Posse can do something about that.
Christoph Hall
Probably referring to when he stole the big ship from those Mormon coyos, sasa?
Andrew Gerber
Carl seeing Milk, and just breaking (even briefly), and her instantly knowing as well...such an amazing moment. Thank you Matt.
Aaron Krick
Matt delivers every time
Dragan
Yeeeeeeeeeeessssss BETTER THAN SEX
jrue
It’s going to be ok. The good guys can win from time to time. These chapters were amazing.
orion
How many warlords are left? The nagas was the first serious military faction destroyed, or I guess, the first faction that was like a serious threat? Anyone feel sympathy for the Naga princess and what over her or her people's situation was? Is Matt having crazy fun eventing weird ass gods?
orion
He got a box for being in the presence of a god and surviving right, there is gotta be a reward for being in the presence of multiple gods. The AI is a freak and will probably reward carl getting turned into mush, and yeah, he's getting a celestial box for zhang surviving, that was the real miracle.
joseph peltier
Woot! Great story drop! Freaking awesome! Although, I’m starting to get a bad feeling that Katia is going to get screwed over 😕
StoveTop
Profane iron is an awesome spell. Can’t wait to see all the new spells from Donut, the war mages, and everyone else once the offensive magic is turned back on
Keid
😭 I loved that. I also can't wait to hear Jeff Hayes to try to squeeze ever bit of emotion he can into the word, "milk."
Edwin Longwell
And. Here. We. Gooooo. I can hear Jeff in my head!
Daatingu
Nice Expanse reference with the Fred Johnson bit haha
Lauren J
I feel both so scared and so excited to read this. Mm
Pplante28
So good.
Parker Cobb
I started playing the mega death song as Carl set off the alarm traps. 10/10 would recommend. I can't believe all the good guys survived. Now let's save Milk and win Faction Wars. Let's fucking go I love this story so much!
Michael Hawkins
I'm so excited. I just got caught up yesterday and was sad, now I have all these chapters
Ben Woolbright
Feels like there is a lot of bread crumbs there too. Odette is sponsoring Nekhebit if I recall. Always hard to tell where her loyalties lie.
J Holmes
I thought he might use the big one. Second biggest is close enough, I guess.
Stephanie Gustafson
Thanks, I needed this!
Mike
How did nobody die? Nobody we care about, I mean. That was nuts
Geekdumb
Holy fuck, Dude! Also... Piercings ran down the *side* of her slimy head forcing the mantaurs into going berserk and *fighting* the rams *along with* anyone else who got in the way while we burst into the Khepri temple
Ben Woolbright
I'm so shocked that this turned out as well as it did that I am now equally more concerned for the inevitable ruin.
Dan Powell
Can't wait to see the achievements Carl got after that one
Jonathan Caprell
At first I thought “Almost as big as that whole thing with that orc lady with amazing dog-paddling skills.” was a joke about, like, viral video shorts, but I realized upon re-reading that it’s almost certainly Formidable, right?
Matt Gomez
Oh. My. God.
Stephen Greenwood
Fucking amazing read. The Hellik reveal had me speechless. Still hoping for a ghost ship style trap that'll cut down some enemies. Fingers crossed that there'll be one in part 3.
Mark Adler
So much stuff. I'm pumped for the achievements/rewards chapter that has to come from that much crazy shit
Gary W Zabel
Thank you so much for dropping this on my day off!!!
Jamal Jahabar
That. Was. Awesome.
Kate Allen
IM SO GLAD HE MET MILK! God, what a ride. I cannot wait for the achievements that are going to come from this. Absolutely wild.
Shantih Moriarty
Damn.
Greg Willickers
You know, I spent some time since the last post pondering what I thought Carl might do with a minute of Immortality. Somehow detonating a bomb in his own face didn't occur to me, although in retrospect it seems almost inevitable
Shannon Farrell
Outstanding
Matt D
Gah I fixed that! You’re right. I think I accidentally uploaded a weird version so there’s probably a couple already-fixed typos in there.
David -Hootie42- Andrus
Jesus Matt this is amazing. One thing - isn’t it “Vinegar Bitch” not “Vinegar Whore” (at the end of chapter 53) or am I misremembering? I’ve only read through the series once so far.
Riyon Hutton
Ooooo amazing
Christopher Hendl
Holy crap
Max
Fred Johnson from the Expanse?
Trae Gesling Jr.
LET FUCKING GOO SENOR MATT!!
BJ
Why you got to have me in my feels?
A. Dawson
So much for going to sleep
Katyna Smith
My heart is racing, holy shit
Paul pollard
I love the patch
Nick Wood
Epic
Riyon Hutton
Thanks Matt today has sucked
Vickie Rashvand
Good luck everyone…
Austin Barnett
Yessss amazing
Levi
Let’s go! Haven’t read, just pumped. Edit:spoilers:kinda Finally a zhang reference! Holy f@c-ing heavens.
Dan
I live for these drops! Thanks Matt!
