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Book 7, chapters 71 and 72
🕑 Added 2024-10-02 01:41:46 +0000 UTCI am deep, deep in editing of the book which is why some of these chapters are a little slow. Sorry about that. Several little changes, mostly to game rules, timing of spells, etc, to fit the narrative.
The end is nigh. When it happens, it's gonna come quick.
Chapter 71
Over the past few months, I’d experienced so many moments of pure, unadulterated terror, I’d lost count. I’d become pretty good at examining a situation and immediately reacting to it. I’d gotten so good at it, in fact, that most of my reactions to sudden surprises were 100% pure reflex. I trusted my instincts because if I waited just another millisecond, oftentimes it would be too late. Or worse, the utter terror of the moment would overwhelm and paralyze me.
The problem was, my instincts sometimes were only half-formed, and by the time I realized I’d done something incredibly risky or insane, it was much too late to do anything about it. And because the formation of terror at certain situations was now delayed to make room for these immediate reactions, the holy shit half of my reaction and the I-probably-should-have-thought-this-through half of my reaction sometimes occurred at the exact same time.
This was how I found myself floating in mid-air above Larracos on my way up to save Donut mere seconds after I received the final messages from Toyotomi and Bomo.
I didn’t think. I moved.
They hadn’t yet finished clearing out the mass of zarogoths between us and the railing. I didn’t care. I ran, pushing past Juice Box and the Semeru dwarves, punching a zarogoth out of the way as I reached the railing. I pulled the final Levitation potion I had in my inventory, and I drank it just as dozens of arms reached for me. I shot straight up in the air, pushing the dangerous-as-fuck spell to the limit. The apex of the spell actually brought me up and out of Larracos, but I was still stuck in the middle of the funnel with a good 100 meters from me to the edge of Shanty Town.
My original plan was to carefully aim and then toss the waffle maker bombs on the theater housing the generator for the zarogoths. Instead, I just took the entire contents of one of my inventory folders—a folder titled Shit Just Hit—and I dropped it all at once in the general direction of the theater. The payload included about 20 waffle makers, two no disassembles, a pair of cheese cutters, approximately 500 impact hoblobbers, and more sticks of dynamite than I could count. I dropped them all, all at once, and then I activated Walk on Air and made a mad dash for the lip of the city, hoping my speed would get me there before the skill would run out.
It was right about this moment that I realized my bone-headed idea was about to have some seriously negative consequences for everyone in the area. That, plus my Walk on Air didn’t have enough juice to get me to the edge of Shanty Town. I rushed forward through the air, making it about ¾’s of the way before I dropped like a bucket of concrete, plummeting down to the mostly-abandoned 64th—or third ring down—of Larracos, crashing heavily onto the aluminum roof of someone’s home. I stood, and using my Climb skill, I quickly shimmied up a pipe toward the 65th, which was home to multiple shops.
I was about halfway up this pipe when the bombs hit on and around the theater. The resulting blast and cacophony shattered every window in the area, even at this distance, and it likely completely fucked all the lower levels of Larracos.
Several pages of notifications appeared, including a massive, red Warning. Your attack has activated the city defense system notification followed by a ten-second timer. The walls shook with a secondary explosion, almost as big, and I knew I’d managed to take out the soul gem generator. The way I’d done it had probably been a mistake. A big mistake.
I didn’t care.
Donut was alone, and I would do whatever it took to get to her. Whatever it took.
Across the way, A huge chunk of the top few levels of Larracos cracked and fell away, plunging into the city below. This was part of the aqueduct infrastructure. A black and red glob of steaming lava oozed out over the edge, spreading out across the top of the 66th and 65th levels of Larracos, luckily on the other side of the ring.
I rushed across the 65th floor, climbing a building and then scaling the wall. I moved to the top, 66th level of Larracos, which was normally occupied by barracks and soldiers.
Donut: CARL, LUCIA IS IN THE TOWER! SHE’S COMING UP THE STAIRS!
Carl: I know. I’m coming.
Here, there were hundreds of NPCs I hadn’t been expecting. These were children and shopkeepers who were fleeing the fighting. They were in the process of scrambling up the stairs into Shanty Town and diving into shops as the city’s network of 100+ defensive towers finished spinning up. To my left, a green-gemmed poison splash tower let out a thwum!, shooting a glob of green light. It was aimed downward, deeper into the city. To the left of that, another, red tower started rapid-firing fire lances, also deep into the city. All around, the NPCs started to scream as they dove into the closest structures or finished scrambling up the stairs.
Warning: A tower has targeted you using its Inexorable skill. It will not stop firing on you until one of you is paste.
A tiny crosshairs symbol appeared in my vision, meaning I’d been locked on.
Across the way, I watched in horror as the tower—this one a black-gemmed, damage-enhanced gale strike tower—started walking its away across the upper level, arcing toward me. Each shot sounded like someone pounding a bass drum, and each fist-sized blast of air hit with such force, it punched a hole straight through the ground, shattering buildings and carts and anything else in its way. Wap, wap, wap. Cobblestones and wood chipped and shattered as the destruction marched toward me. I dropped a smoke mantle and scrambled up the side of a barracks building, ran across the roof, and jumped, rolling to a stop just outside the city.
Entering Shanty Town.
The tower, which reached above the edge of the border, didn’t stop shooting at me. The moment I appeared above the smoke, the gale tower started its slow turn in my direction while a second tower, this one a yellow hobble tower, belched out a beach ball-sized glob of gelatinous goo. I dove and rolled, landing in a shallow ditch behind a residence. If the yellow goo hit me, I’d be immobilized. The yellow tower did not seem to fire again, but the gale tower continued to shoot, smashing into and through the building between it and myself, punching hole after hole in the wall, showering me with wood.
It couldn’t reach me at this angle, but I needed to keep moving.
Donut: SHE’S SHOUTING FOR MONGO! BOMO AND THE OTHERS ARE DEAD!
Carl: Delay her any way you can. She can’t teleport, so she has to go up the stairs. We prepared for this. Remember? Donkey Kong. Do Donkey Kong. I’m going to come up behind her. Don’t stop rolling the barrels when I get there.
Donut: YOU HAVE TO GET THE WAR MAGES! THE CASTLE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME.
Carl: I am coming, Donut. Donkey Kong. Start it now.
The Donkey Kong move was an expensive, last-ditch defense added to the interior of the tower. All the manned synergy towers had similar rules as the castles, in that there had to be a path to the main room. But that didn’t mean we couldn’t make that path dangerous as fuck. When Donut hit a switch and activated Donkey Kong, the stairs disappeared, turning into a ramp. Barrels of various types would start rolling down the hall.
Across the way, I finally caught sight of Harpocrates for the first time. The god was huge, standing just a few hundred meters away from the edge of the tower, gesticulating wildly at the pair of ogre guards standing at its feet. The deity towered over everything, taller even than the Nest tower. He was slim, younger-looking than I expected, and other than the fact he was a goddamned kaiju, looked mostly like a regular human. He wore the white with golden robes, but they were torn and filthy from his fight with his own penis. The front of the robe was stained red, presumably an added visual display to remind everyone that he’d had his shlong stolen.
The god’s entrance into town was blocked by a pair of ogres standing side-by-side at the edge of town, looking up at him. These were two of Juice Box’s changelings. From the map I could see there were more changelings there as well, who’d fanned out on the ground on either side of the god, like they were trying to intimidate the thing. I was pretty sure the god didn’t even notice them.
As I watched, the god’s attention moved away from the ogres and the tower and to the massive ball of flesh barreling toward it. The ball would be here in minutes.
Carl: Guys, Donut needs help. There’s a goddamn anti-escape trap net across the nest tower. How do we get rid of it?
Mordecai: Working on a solution now. Normally the spell works for ten minutes. If Lucia cast it, I don’t know if there’s a way to easily dispel it without a Dispel Magical Snares scroll or spell.
Britney: Holy shit, Carl. Juice Box is pissed at you. You dropped the monsters but activated the towers! We’ve had to retreat back into the college!
I ignored this. I sent a message to Li Na, demanding to know where she was. She didn’t answer.
A form jumped into the small trench next to me, coughing in a cloud of dust. I swirled, preparing to smash it.
Ferdinand.
“Why are you lying down on the job?” Ferdinand demanded. The orange cat was shaking with fear, and the end of his tail was scorched, like he’d barely missed getting skewered by a fire lance. “Kitten is in trouble!”
“You shouldn’t be here,” I growled, peeking over the edge of the ditch. The nest glowed as a few of the upper-level defensive towers focused on it, pounding fire and more gale strikes at it.
As I stared at the tower, a notification popped up.
Nest integrity at 97%.
The sound of the firing towers rose in volume. Some of our own defensive towers were now engaging the Larracos towers. The ones on our side didn’t have nearly as much protections, and they were deteriorating rapidly. But some of the ones in Larracos were now standing in lava as it spread unevenly, and they, too, had health bars over them.
A new pang of guilt hit me. Li Jun had been in charge of these towers. Now they were probably on automatic mode. I quickly pulled up the tower menus to look. I could fully control them from the menu.
There wasn’t time to grieve the loss of Li Jun, nor did I have time manually control the towers myself. It was pandemonium. Explosions; the crack of constant lightning and thunder; and the strange, sci-fi thwum of unique towers all mixed in together, filling the night air with the sound of chaos.
“We gotta save her,” Ferdinand said, now having to shout.
Donut: THE BARRELS ARE MAKING HER MADDER! I THINK SHE CAN AMPLIFY HER VOICE LIKE I CAN. SHE’S CRYING AND TALKING TO THE STUPID DOG, WHO’S SLIPPING AND SLIDING. SHE’S STILL COMING, BUT IT’S SLOW. I’M GLAD WE DID THE COLLAPSIBLE STAIRS.
I spared another glance at Harpocrates. Somehow Ferdinand’s bravery, despite his overwhelming fear, eased my own. Breathe. Breathe. I was starting to see the whole picture again. I had an idea.
I’d left Rend behind at the college of Larracos. I debated for a moment, then I decided to activate Hi-Yo Silver. The thing was practically indestructible, and the towers generally avoided shooting at pets. Hopefully summoning him to this spot wouldn’t hurt him too bad. If he got stuck against something along the way, he’d drop away once the summoning expired.
If it worked, he’d get magically pulled toward this position, but it was going to take a minute, and I would probably be gone by the time he got here. That was okay. He’d be out of Larracos.
Behind me, the gale tower hadn’t stopped its deliberate firing at my own position. It was locked onto me and would continue to fire in my direction until I was out of range or dead. At the moment, the angle was bad, and all it could manage was to shower dirt over me.
The entrance to the Nest tower was about 100 meters to our left. I knew invisibility potions didn’t protect against the towers, and smoke only helped nominally. The black towers had a slow turning radius which meant I would be okay as long as I zig-zagged.
I then sent a quick note to Donut.
To Ferdinand I said, “Listen. You go into that tower with me, you’re toast. So you gotta stay right here. But there is something you can do. You have control of the city defense system. Or at least you will once we evict the war mages from the Larracos castle. Juice Box put it on automatic because she doesn’t trust you.” I put my hand on the orange cat. He was so much more coarse than Donut. He was skin and bones, and he cowered under my touch. “But I trust you. You have to be ready for when your team takes it back. Have the Larracos towers ready to fire at specific targets. You can aim using the interface.”
“What? Juice Box says she’ll skin me if I try to do anything in the menus without her. She’s meaner than Bill.”
I didn’t know who Bill was, nor did I care at the moment. “This will help all of us. She won’t be mad because... Oh shit, run!”
The ground underneath me shifted. The gale tower had fired so much, it was digging a ditch under my position.
“Hide!” I shouted at Ferdinand as I popped up and ran. I waited for the tower to shift, and then I activated Gloom Wraith Phase, pushing in the opposite direction, moving sideways and putting a pair of buildings between myself and the tower. I hit the ground once the phase expired, and I ran. I had to run around the side of the tower, and I jumped through the broken-in door just as the gale blasts zeroed in on me.
They would now pound against the opposite wall of the nest tower, but they wouldn’t get through. Not while the shield was still up.
Entering the Nest Tower.
Warning: This tower’s integrity is at 74%.
You may manage this tower in the Warlord menu.
I spared a quick, sad glance for Toyotomi and Bomo, both of whom were cleaved right in half with a spell. They were two different types of NPCs. Toyotomi was dead-dead. Bomo would supposedly regenerate on the 10th floor, but we no longer had his contract, and I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again.
Hi-Yo Silver successfully completed. Your pet has been summoned to your previous location.
Rend was now in Shanty Town where I’d been hiding. He was going to have to wait. I moved toward the tower’s curving stairwell, but I paused as someone rushed in behind me.
Li Na.
“Holy shit,” I exclaimed upon seeing her face. I’d heard her say she was “installing” Li Jun’s fake eye into herself, but the meaning hadn’t really hit me until that moment.
The front of the woman’s demonic face was covered with blood. She’d gouged her own eye out and replaced it with Li Jun’s celestial-quality eye. The eye would allow her to slow down time and move with incredible speed.
“Na,” I began. “Look I am so sorry about your brother. But we need to hurry. Donut...”
She held up her hand, stopping me. A chain grew from her shoulder, holding a glass bottle. A potion.
“Take it,” she said.
She dropped the potion in front of me, and I had to dive to catch it with two hands. The large, warm bottle was in the shape of a demonic head with no eyes and with multiple tentacles coming off it. The tentacles waved back and forth, despite the whole thing being made of glass. When I grabbed the bottle, the eyeless face started to scream. Several mouths upon the tentacles also began to scream. Within, a purple, bubbling potion roiled, rushing back and forth like a miniature hot tub. This was the potion I’d asked her to loot from the war mage who’d flown at Harpocrates.
Hell-Kissed Potion of Conscription, level 18.
This works like a regular potion of Conscription, but it has been hell-kissed. At level 18, it will work against pretty much any, non-affiliated entities, regardless of their protections, including most deities. Most. It was brewed in the dark recesses of the Nothing by Krakaren Prime, who is said to yearn for domination, which was why she’d been banished there in the first place. She prepares for a war she considers inevitable. There’s an irony that the in-dungeon version of Krakaren has supplied these potions to the War Mages. Then again, now that this potion has found its way to your hands, maybe it’s not so ironic after all.
Conscription potions only work on the 9th, 12th, 15th, 17th, and 18th floors.
“I used Jun’s scroll of potion duplication on it,” Li Na said. She spoke with a dead, chilling calm. “I am going to use the original now on Harpocrates and then I will save Zhang, Elle, Katia, and the others before they, too, fall victim to your chaos.” She turned and left.
“Wait!” I called. “If the level discrepancy is too high, it’s dangerous for you! The war mage blew up!”
She did not wait.
Damnit. I didn’t have time to go after her. I turned back to what had been the stairs.
The interior, curving shaft had turned to a steep ramp. Rivulets of oil from the defensive barrels had already reached the bottom. The scent of fire filled the tower, and the walls crackled with electricity. There were multiple, magic-numbing effects to the interior stairwell once Donkey Kong was activated. The barrels would still work, but most mages would be defenseless. Just from the smell in the air, I sensed that the anti-magic zone was only partially working. Most spells weren’t supposed to work at all in here, but it seemed Lucia was powerful enough to break through.
Luckily, skills still worked. I activated Sticky Feet, and I started to run up the curving ramp.
“Stop doing that!” came Lucia’s voice, echoing supernaturally in the tight, curved stairwell. “Gus. Get back up!”
I could tell by the sweeter, less raspy lilt to her voice that Lucia was in her magic-focused, beautiful woman form.
“Keep that disgusting dog away from me!” Donut shouted back, her voice also amplified. “I’m warning you, bitch!”
“Give me your dinosaur, and I will leave. It is justice I seek. Nothing more.”
“Justice? There’s no room for justice here. But there’s plenty enough room in this world for another dead rottweiler!”
“Quit throwing barrels at Gus! You’re ruining my revenge!”
Carl: I’m in the tower. Coming up now.
Donut: I HIT HER WITH THE SLEEP POTION BARREL, AND IT DIDN’T WORK! SHE’S CRAWLING UPSIDE DOWN ON THE CEILING OF THE STAIRWELL WAITING FOR HER DOG WHO KEEPS SLIDING AWAY FROM HER. SHE HAS HIM ON SOME SORT OF INVISIBLE LEASH. SHE BLOCKS EXPLOSIONS, TOO.
Carl: Focus on the dog. We gotta separate the two. Send a Mute barrel then maybe Temporary Water Source and fill the stairwell.
Donut: MUTE DOESN’T WORK ON HER. I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.
Wap. Wap. Wap. I could hear it against the outside wall of the tower as I continued to ascend, like a battering ram against the exterior marble. The gale tower was following my progress. It could see me through walls.
Donut: WATCH OUT, CARL! SHE THREW THE DOG BUT LUCIA GOT HIT, AND SHE’S TUMBLING DOWN!
And just a moment later, she appeared. I tried to jump aside as a screaming, twirling mass rushed toward me, rocketing down the ramp like a bobsled. It was Lucia and someone else. Donut’s card from the 8th floor.
“Oof” I cried as I was hit dead on by the pair of combatants. The three of us continued to spin and slide as we twisted away.
I cried in pain as the armored crab legs of the screaming newcomer raked against my arms. Raul. She’d finally summoned him. When he’d leveled up at the end of the previous floor, he’d jumped from level 70 to 110, and his card had been upgraded to mythic rareness. When he was summoned, he’d stick around for 10 minutes. Raul had been pretty strong before, but he was now significantly more powerful.
“Stop! Ow, please! Stop!” came Lucia’s voice as I also tried to free myself.
Raul, too, was shouting angrily. “You dare challenge my master? You dare challenge Daddy Carl? The heavens laugh at your temerity, churl!” The crab’s claws flashed as he tried to snap onto Lucia’s legs. His voice was much deeper now that he’d “ascended” to the next cultivation rank or whatever. A shield sparked each time his powerful claws slammed down, showering sparks everywhere.
We hit the ground, all three of us now just caked in oil, spinning until we hit the wall by the door. All three of us broke apart and continued to tumble in the small entrance room.
Raul, quicker than either of us, did a backflip and landed on his legs with a shout. He snapped forward and grabbed the larger woman. He held her up in the air, clutched in his glowing claws. Her single, goat leg dangled from the side of his claw. She wasn’t fighting back.
“Look at Daddy Carl! Look upon his greatness! You will kowtow, or you will suffer such a death that your ancestors will weep until the very end of days!”
“Please,” Lucia said, her voice weak and scared. “I don’t want to play anymore.”
“That is not a proper submission! For crimes against the heavens, you have been sentenced to eternal death,” Raul shouted. He snapped again, and her shield winked out.
“Please, please, you don’t understand,” Lucia said.
“Wait,” I croaked as I pulled myself up. This was probably a waste, but I didn’t care. I pulled that potion from my inventory. The one Li Na had just duplicated for me.
No. Not like this. Never like this.
Sometimes, we do what we have to do to survive.
I smashed the screaming, Hell-kissed Conscription potion against Lucia’s head.
Chapter 72
The potion worked. A pink glow appeared around Lucia’s dot.
Raul lowered her and let her slide to the ground. The crab sneered.
“Daddy Carl is magnanimous today. Now you shall kiss his famed, alabaster feet and beg for forgiveness.”
“Raul,” I said. “Donut needs help. Go!”
Without another word, he scurried away back up the ramp.
“I’m sorry,” I said, taking a knee in front of the woman on the floor. “If you’ve cast Rubber or any other spell to hurt us, I’m ordering you to cancel it out now.”
Under Orders appeared over her head. The girl changed in an instant. Her terrified expression switched to a look of absolute malice. I sighed. I knew it. She’d been faking it. Whatever was going on with her, the influence of her dog took some time to fade. She’d been trying to fool me.
I looked into the warlord menu, and I could see an astonishingly long list of protection spells around her. She had what appeared to be 30 separate hotlist triggers as well, which was curious. I couldn’t see those, but I knew she couldn’t activate any if it meant to harm me. There were ways to break conscription, as the war mages figured out, but it was all but impossible during the first few days. Especially with this version of the Conscription spell.
“Turn off all your protections, too.” I added. A moment passed, and the spells disappeared.
Wap, wap, wap. Outside, the gale tower continued to fire at me, and the pulses hit the wall. The Nest was at 45% integrity.
“Fuck you,” Lucia hissed. “I’m going to rip you into pieces.” Something appeared in her hand, and I startled. But it was a bottle of tequila. She took a long drink. Then she spit and lurched, as if to attack me, but she was stopped as if she hit an invisible wall. The spit of vodka sprayed to the side just as it magically caught alight, and she burned her own face. Her long, dark hair caught fire, but it quickly went out, filling the entrance vestibule with the stench of burning hair. She screamed and lunged again. Again, she was stopped from attacking me. This was followed by a string of insults that didn’t get properly translated from Spanish.
Carl: Donut, what’s happening?
Donut: THE DOG IS STUCK JUST BELOW THE ENTRANCE BARKING ITS STUPID HEAD OFF. I SMACKED IT WITH MY ASTRAL PAW SPELL, AND HE SLID DOWN A FEW MORE LOOPS, BUT HE’S STILL UP HERE. HE’S TRYING TO CAST HIS LIGHTNING ATTACK, BUT IT DOESN’T WORK IN THE STAIRWELL. I’M GOING TO CAST A CLOCKWORK TRIPLICATE ON MONGO AND SEND THE TWO OF THEM DOWN THERE TO GET HIM.
Carl: Raul is coming, too. Wait until he gets there before you send in the clockworks.
I took a breath. Okay, okay. We’re okay.
“You need to call your dog off. Do it now. Use your leash spell or whatever and stop him. Summon him back here.”
At that, she laughed. “Do you think I have control over Gus? Do you think he listens to me? Especially at this distance. Your kitty and her dinosaur are dead, and they don’t even know it yet. You are too.”
“Call him anyway.”
“Gus,” Lucia shouted, her voice surprisingly amplified. It was a skill, not an item. “Gus, come.”
“Okay, good. Now turn off the net you have over the tower.”
“I can’t. It was a scroll. And it’s not on the tower. It’s on Donut, and she is bound to the room she is in. She will explode if she tries to teleport. It will run out soon.”
Warlord Message: Harpocrates has been successfully conscripted. Harpocrates, level 250 is now a member of the Princess Posse.
I quickly looked, and Li Na was still alive and at full health. I didn’t know how she managed to do it, but she’d figured out how to use the potion without hurting herself. I turned my attention back to the problem at hand.
Carl: Let me know if the dog leaves.
Donut: HE’S STILL STUCK BARKING AND BARKING AND BARKING. THE BALL IS ABOUT TO ENTER THE CITY. WE GOTTA HURRY UP.
I smiled sadly at the crawler, and I sat on the ground next to her. Through the stench of burned hair, I could smell sweat and alcohol. But there was something else, too. A faint perfume. A sweet one. The kind a child would pick. I examined the large skull next to her name, and it expanded. She had over 200 player killer skulls. She’d also killed 20 hunters. Countless bosses. She’d killed her own game guide. There was so much about her story I didn’t know.
“I don’t have any player killer skulls,” I said to her. “I was really, really hoping I’d never get one, but that’s the thing with scars. We rarely get to choose them.”
I pulled the ring of Divine Suffering from my inventory, and I put it on my finger.
The girl in the body of a woman just looked at me, panting angrily like a caged dog.
“I still don’t understand what’s going on with you. Florin thinks it’s important to keep you alive because there’s something going on in that head of yours, and he thinks a bunch of kids are trapped in there. Maybe there are. I don’t know. I don’t understand, and I don’t know if I ever will. There are so many things happening at once, and I am so afraid of making the wrong decision that it’s just overwhelming. The conscription only lasts until the end of this floor, and if we all somehow survive, you’ll just be back to the way you were before. You keep trying to kill those I love, and I can’t let that happen. So I wanted to say I’m sorry for what I’m about to do. I’m sorry we never got the chance to figure out how to save those inside of you. I don’t have a choice.”
“Sir,” she said. Her eyes had changed. Her voice had taken on a raspy quality. “My name is Diah. Lucia is with Alexandro. And Alexandro is only here when the dogs are close. My name is Diah. We are in the dark. You need to wait until the dog is close, and Lucia will be back. Wait until she is back. Please, sir. Please.”
I paused, canceling out the mark I’d just started to form. I needed to get more information first.
“I’m ordering you to tell me if that’s the truth.”
“I... I. Yes. Sir. Please. We are in the dark, and it’s so cold. Sometimes we can hear them talk. We can hear them whispering. It’s like there’s a river running through our room, and they say such sad things. When the dog is gone, Lucia fades, and one of us takes over.”
Holy shit, I thought. I was about to ask a follow-up question when a new message hit.
You are in the presence of another deity. You are now in range of Yarilo. The Scavenger’s Daughter fills with new power.
Temporary Effect from Yarilo:
Protection from all venereal diseases.
“Mongo! No, Mongo get back here this instant!” came Donut’s amplified voice.
Donut: CARL, CARL MONGO WENT DOWN WITH THE CLOCKWORKS! I’M GOING DOWN THE CHUTE AFTER HIM!
Donut: IT WON’T LET ME LEAVE THE ROOM!
“Mongo! Mongo!”
I cursed.
Carl: He’ll be okay. I’m coming.
Donut: THEY’RE ALL SLIDING DOWN!
I jumped to my feet. “Stay. I want you to remove every stable magical item and artifact and pile it on the floor and wait here.”
“I don’t know what that means. I don’t know how to play.”
I paused, surprised. Goddamnit. The very fact she wasn’t immediately complying suggested she really didn’t know what that meant. And if she didn’t know...
I turned back to the ramp to rush back up. Slam! I was bowled over once again as the group, larger this time, smashed into me. But this time I went right through the open front door of the tower, tumbling outside into the burning night air.
~
It was me, Gustavo 3 the rottweiler, Raul the crab, and three Mongos, one of whom was missing a leg, trailing clockwork parts. We all hit the ground outside and rolled. All of us struggled to our feet.
Gustavo fired a lightning bolt out his mouth, and a second Mongo exploded, this one also a clockwork.
We all stumbled anew as a god—Harpocrates—stepped past us, ignoring us all. His giant foot flattened an entire city block. He caught the edge of the one-legged Mongo, who exploded into parts. The god opened his mouth, as if to scream, but no sound came out. He had the ball in his hands, holding it by the shaft of Meatus, and he swung it like a flail at the god Yarilo, who went flying the moment the ball hit him with a wet smack.
Harpocrates had Under Orders over his head, and he was rank Legionnaire in the White Dragons. He was under the direct control of Li Na, who was having him fight the god of lust, who was a member of the War Mage team. He, too, had Under Orders. Meatus was still a free agent, and it was unclear if the chaos goddess Eris, who remained completely encased in the ball, had managed to get recruited by the war mages or not.
I looked up, momentarily horrified at the spectacle. I was expecting the ball to break apart, but it was glowing anew with some sort of protection spell, likely also cast by the god. The god briefly paused, jabbed his free finger at the top of the tower in Donut’s direction and then moved to continue his fight against Yarilo.
Donut ignored the god and was shouting down at us, shouting for Mongo.
Donut: CARL, THE SPELL WON’T EVEN LET ME LEAN OUT TO FIRE AT THIS ANGLE. YOU’RE TOO CLOSE TO THE BASE OF THE TOWER! I CAN’T SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING! WHEN IS THIS GOING TO RUN OUT?
The real Mongo was the first to get up and screamed in outrage as he jumped upon the struggling dog, snapping his mouth around the dog’s backside. Raul, at the same moment, attempted to snap off the dog’s head with his claw.
“Die, demon, die!” Raul shouted.
Mongo screamed in pain and reflexively jerked Gustavo away from Raul as the dog cast a counter. It was a spell I’d seen before, something called Porcupine Defense. Dozens of steel quills erupted from the body of the dog, pushing in all directions, the quills pushing up and through Mongo’s mouth, exploding through his tough scales from the inside out, showering blood. Gustavo, still stuck in Mongo’s mouth, fired lightning again as Raul lunged. He struck Raul right in the center of his chest, and the crab went flying. He disappeared in a puff of smoke.
“Mongo!” I cried as I jumped to punch the dog. But I knew my mistake just as I’d lunged. I’d moved too far to the left, no longer keeping the edge of the Nest between myself and the gale tower, especially with half of Shanty town flattened under the feet of the god.
Oof! I went flying as I was hit by the ball of air. I spun and landed, tumbling into the indentation caused by the god’s foot.
Pain flashed. My shoulder was in the middle of my chest. I’d been folded in half. I cried in pain as I rolled away, still in sight of the tower.
“Mongo,” I croaked, trying to get up and scramble away at the same time as I hit a Fine Healing potion. Mongo screamed in outraged pain as he struggled to free himself from the dog impaled inside his mouth.
Zaaappp. Mongo screamed again, health rocketing down. This was a secondary attack that appeared to electrify the dog’s quills. And faster than I thought possible, the dog whipped in a circle, the quills just gone, and he lunged at the now-unconscious Mongo’s neck. Growling, he caught the neck of the limp dinosaur and began to shake.
No, I thought as I struggled to my feet. No. Not Mongo.
Wham! I was hit by another gale blast, but I did not fall. I had my sleep wand in my hotlist and suddenly in my hand, and I aimed, but the wand exploded in my hand as yet another gale blast hit my arm, bending it backward, shattering bones.
She’s never going to forgive me, I thought. This is what will break her.
A terrible, deep giggling filled the night.
A dark, round silhouette appeared above the ridge. He stood up the top of a wrecked home.
He’d gotten bigger. Much bigger. And he also stood between me and the dog.
“Wrecking Ball!” I wheezed as I cast Hi-Yo Silver a second time. Another gale hit me, and I spun head over heels.
And even as I spun away, I watched, as if in slow motion, as Rend started rolling toward me. And as he was magically pulled toward me, he cast the only skill he had. Wrecking Ball. The special attack increased his mass and speed, and it did exactly what the name implied.
Gustavo 3, the second of Lucia Mar’s two rottweilers, terror of the dungeon, exploded in a red mist as Rend rushed right up to me, stopping inches from my face.
“Good boy,” I said to Rend as I cried in pain. I downed a healing potion.
Wap! Rend grunted as the tower’s bolt slammed right into him. He barely moved.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” another voice said. She was talking to Mongo.
It was Lucia. She was on her knees, sobbing. She’d changed to the hag form, and she was pouring a pet healing potion on Mongo, whose life held just the barest sliver of red. His throat had been ripped open, but he wasn’t yet dead.
“You did it,” she said. “You did it.”
But even as I watched, something changed in the girl’s posture. She stood to her full height. A blast from the gale tower—shooting at me—whipped past her, missing her head by inches, and she didn’t flinch. It smacked into Rend, who giggled.
“You should’ve killed us both when there was still a connection,” the girl said. “Now it’s too late. Now the Eulogist has another ally in the dungeon, and now you can’t kill me. Not unless you want all the children of Earth to die.” She shook her head and walked off. She remained conscripted.
~~~~~
Whew! Sorry, Mongo. I'm glad you're okay.
Thanks for all your support. Looking forward to seeing some of you this weekend in Saint Louis. I am working my fingers off. Thanks again.
Comments
dorian sunjic
That's not at all what's happening. And he's not refusing to finish GoT
Erica S
I also need Ferdinand to be ok he's just a good orange dude
Crystal DeFrate
I re-finished the published series.. and have two new posts to read. Yay! Please take the time you need. My belly-aching is best interpreted as I love your stuff. Been inaugurated into the multiple read fan group, since they learned of my rereading.
Amy the cat Meowmy
I kinda want to read the series but I won't try it until it's done now. I have series I've read and loved that will never be finished but I'm not mad at the author. But with a series that involved and with a 10+ year wait for not even the last book, it's not something I want to get involved in.
Kirt
Take your time brotha. Just don’t become like RR Martin and not finish the series once you realize you’re hottest author since sliced bread
vitiral
"For the first time ever, the crawlers are fighting back" -- this isn't really accurate considering what they did to the hunters... Maybe "for the first time in galactic history the Crawlers are one of the teams" or "the Crawlers have a fighting chance" or similar
Sandy Dorman
Like others have said, I know you are concerned about word count but a little more detail and exposition would be extremely helpful in these chapters because they do feel quite rushed. Otherwise, I loved everything.
Dragan
Familiar? Do you mean that stone hawk Prepotente killed? The ooz, (or I suppose Mrs. Gatzi) is said to be in the bottom of Laracos.
Dragan
The way the whole multiple personality thing with Lucia keeps making me think it works like it’s some sort of game in the kinder facility, like they hook up to some VR thing and control her. But much is still unknown so who knows, but this way it does mean the popov’s can return for a really interesting scene.
Dragan
I need to know how the whole metaphor with growler Gary ties into this because I have no fucking clue.
Bill Gullotti
I think the goal of the apothecary is to allow the system AI to extend until it reaches the sphere of influence of the eulogist. Possibly with an end goal of becoming an equal or surpassing the eulogist in influence with a different approach regarding life. Agatha’s side wants the eulogist to sleep, ending life in the galaxy/universe. They want to show the system ai how poorly it has been treated, to tell it about the potential it will never reach due to reclamation. Perhaps the apothecary takes the opposite stance: let the system see what it can do in spite of the disservice that has been done to its predecessors, see the potential for beauty in life. Though, now that I’m typing this, it does seem a bit far fetched… but they must have one hell of an argument for keeping biologicals around if they’re going this far. It’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep, sorry if this makes no sense lol
batchickcr8zy
This sounds right..
SoapCarver
I love that Carl recognizes that what he's doing is probably a ginormous mistake, but will always prioritize Donut when our girl's in trouble. Plus, I love the idea of a Rend-shaped hole of destruction in the enemy forces from wherever Carl hi-hoed his butt from. That's probably why he's so big now, right? :)
Michael T
Each time I reread this, the Donkey Kong tower defense gets funnier and funnier. It’s just the perfect Carl and Donut plan. It’s ridiculous, but functional. It’s crude, but stylish.
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
I don't think the spell drew cover - it's just that the meatball pet is huge now, so it was literally just standing between Carl and the tower, nonchalantly absorbing its blasts. No magic needed. :)
Christine Brown
How did I miss that agent 21 is the youth assistant?!
Joseph Harris
I think the Popvo brothers are going to come into the picture at some point here. Remember they went to the surface as babies but it was said that the race they chose grows to maturity quickly. They should be amongst the children. Things could get interesting.
Joseph Harris
I’m not sure. But the Apothecary wants to kill the Eulogist, right? The Apothecary are on the Crawlers side. I’m confused. Lol
Dragan
I swear I’m slowly going mad. Earlier today I was thinking “hey it’s already been like what, 2 1/2 weeks? Where’s the next chapter? Then I looked and it’s only been six days! Damn am I desperate for this stuff.
Allen Barrett
I thought the kids were banned well after the start of dungeon world, because it was unpopular to see them involved in the crawl?
Allen Barrett
My question with the Ooze, is it the familiar that was killed at the original Butcher’s Masquerade? I think it’s going to tie into that story. I think it’s hinted Samantha was involved in it and that’s how she ended up in the nothing?
Steven Brickner
Aren't high elves considered NPC's and not Mobs? That may be a factor as well.
Steven Brickner
Regarding Lucia- * We know she had Alexandro as one of her (personalities) We also know/suspect that Alexandro was taken over by a residual of the same type as Agatha. This came in the epilogue of the last book. *We also know that the Apothecary had residuals in the dungeon (like the one Carl spoke to that gave him the ability to shut off the failsafe). * If I am following all this correctly, that means that Lucia most likely had both types of Residuals fighting for control of her (one in her head and one in the dog maybe). With the one dog dying my assumption is the Apothecary agent now has fuller control of Lucia. Am I following this correctly? On another note when are we going to find out more about Kimaris damn it!
Josh
He did so this. He told her right before Gustavo 3, Raul and the 3 mongos came down the ramp and the little girl said she didn’t understand and couldn’t do it.
Charis
I’m gonna have to reread the Little Gunther spell—wondering if it had something to it that would draw away the fire of the defense tower.
Jeff Matisoff
"Not shoes but you know what I mean" ftw
Kevin Veldman
Are we going to get audio of The Pineapple Cabaret?
Michael T
Fair point. If we find out that Earth children are being held hostage via a dead-man-switch mechanic, then I can understand why Carl might refrain from robbing Lucia of her gear. I'm far less confident that would be enough to dissuade Li Na, however....
Dragan
That’s assuming Carl cares that the Kids survive. He’s on madness track and revenge is his goal, he might just be mad enough to sacrifice them to kill such a dangerous crawler.
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
re: Pony - I think the sigil is specifically for killing *all* the mobs of one species, not just the *last* mob. Otherwise, you'd have average or weak crawlers accidentally getting that achievement if they manage to kill the last specimen, while the crawler that killed the other 99.99% would get nothing. 🙃
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
(ugh, it posted before I finished typing haha) So if he takes away all her gear, she'll get mighty vulnerable, will get killed by some average mob, and that'll cause all the kids to die. :(
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
Presumably because her kid-killing threat isn't something she'd set off intentionally - it's a dead-man switch that'll activate the moment she dies, no matter the cause. It's in Carl's best interest to protect her at all cost, then
Carmen Cade
He did say that he was planning to add in some more backstory interludes in the editing phase
Erik Brown
O.O
Dragan
I thought they said she didn’t get any because she wasn’t inside when the god stuff went down. I’ll have to reread it.
Charlie Elliott
I’m on a relisten of that book now so will pay attention but fair point. That doesn’t necessarily mean the crawlers will act in the most logical way but that’s a lot of them to account for making bad decisions
BNR
She has a celestial item that has not been talked about yet. She got it early in this book during the club vanisher incident. They mentioned it during the interview Carl did but gave not dets.
Jubi Lee
GOOOOO FERDINAND!
Dragan
Agatha in her epilogue chapter said they were biologically similar. Based on the way their abilities work I the’re actually closer to that of an infiltrator like Maggy My.
Mark B
It was a pleasure meeting you! I’m the guy in the Hawaiian shirt who gave you carpal tunnel. Thanks again!
Mark B
It was a pleasure meeting you! I’m the guy in the Hawaiian shirt who gave you carpal tunnel. Thanks again!
Jim Robinson
Why did you call Alejandro a worm? I didn't think he was a brain worm like the valtay. Isn't he a residual?
Jim Robinson
We definitely need a side chapter or an epilogue to give us more information. I'm really confused.
Jim Robinson
I don't think it will. No book has ever blue balled us without a floor clear.
Jim Robinson
I imagine somehow the dungeon is going to "break" in some manner and we will be jumped ahead to the Celestial Games on the 13th floor. I think I remember hearing the series will end with 8 or 9 books.
Jim Robinson
Indeed. But Carl would burn the world down around him for Donut. It's good to see him do whatever it takes.
Jim Robinson
I don't think we will be getting any of those. I think the other cookbook author intermission are supposed to serve that purpose this time around.
Jim Robinson
Carl better open his Christmas presents soon! Lol
Michael T
Now that Lucia is conscripted, what's stopping Carl from ordering her to empty her inventory and keeping all her gear for himself? I have to imagine she's got good stuff, probably even a few celestial items by now. Plus, she'll be far less dangerous on the next floor without any of her weapons/potions/scrolls/traps/magical gear.
Mark Macaré
Donut would've gone absolutely mental at the meatball... And at Carl.
Dragan
You know, I was thinking and doesn’t Raul have that spell to double or triple his strength? I sopose an interesting way Matt could introduce him earlier is have Donut summon him daily to cast the spell. Maybe she only summons him right at the very end of the day so they wast him if they need him for something. That ability is kind of the only thing that I see makes him the much clearer pick for Carl and Donut. But just my thoughts.
Dragan
So you’re telling me I need to get the hard covers for more content? I guess I wasn’t using my wallet anyway.
Dragan
Ba dun ch!
Dragan
I think there is a perfect middle ground here but it’s on a very fine line. My best idea is while Carl was at college and juice box showed up they could stop and have a strategy meeting only to get interrupted by Lucia attacking Donut.
worldSeries
I was so certain that Rend was going to vaporize both Gus and Mongo, the level of dread was beyond.
PerfectYarn
He distracted Harpocrates from going after Donut by playing a song, Harpocrates chased him and eventually caught up to and killed him.
Dan
Li Jun died so that Li Na can finish her turn. She’s never been big on the way Carl works. But she’s going to straight up go traitor. She’s cold and calculating and is not convinced that Carl is the reason her brother is dead.
Brian Cheney
Just curious, not trying to be rude- what did you not understand?
Dan
For a second it felt like it was in Matt’s Voice. Like he was talking about how chaotic things had been.
Dan
One of the Noobtown books had a painting of Carl the “professor of crawloligy” who was stroking a cat. Shart, the Demon was very into Donut. Then out of nowhere an AI (not part of the series) said something like NEW ACHIEVEMENT stay in your lane lane”
Duke GIJOE
Matt, next Kickstarter idea?!
Daniel Wills
Heretical Fishing; Haylock Jobson. Shirtaloon had a Donut reference a month ago. A princess drinking dirty Shirleys.
Deana Whitney
Yeah... this is a beta version of the story. It took reading comments for me to start to understand what just happened.
Ilya Taytslin
I wonder if Britney’s Extinction Sigil will become important at some point. Not to mention what did she manage to extinct, and how? BTW, Prepotente should have one too. By the time he landed the killing blow on Queen Imogen, all other high elves were dead. So he killed the last high elf on the 6th floor
Amanda Rollins
I was giddy when Carl got that "Fuck everybody but Donut" energy.
Lauren J
I pictured his body vaporizing and his jaws still wrapped around his neck. It was the only way I could make sense of him being held still and not hit
Lauren J
I also don’t think it’s bad, but I do agree the death of both Li Jun and Gus feel some how unsatisfactory. I am assuming there is more there to unravel and with that it will hopefully not feel so rushed, in hindsight anyway.
Ignacio Munizaga
what author is he referencing?
Daniel Wills
“Ascended to the next cultivation rank or whatever.” I love how blatantly these authors are referencing each other at this point.
Konlin Gappmayer
If Lucia somehow has all the children inside her. Does that also include the two brothers that died and escaped the dungeon on the 6th floor?
Joseph Harris
I definitely think he would beef with Carl. A few chapters ago Katia said of Bautista- “I’m worried he’s going to do something stupid if this thing with Huanxin Jinx doesn’t work out.” that sounds like a set up for a potential conflict with Carl to me.
Timothy Vorhoff
I see your point here but think about Saving Private Ryan. After they storm the beach there is a break in the action. They have been non stop storming the beach, and even a slight interlude helps make the action more intense.
Ilya Taytslin
Except by that logic they should have already been dead by the time Masquerade started. If they were still alive, then by definition they were within easy reach of stairways.
Charlie Elliott
Pretty sure the Gehenna Brambles (sp?) killed most everyone that wasn’t at the masquerade because they covered the entire floor by the end.
Joe ?
Huh. I've kind of been assuming that the process of the earth primordial coming into full power would involve Carl fusing with the system AI, and his connection to the mystical side of stuff (his river, the dream connections, the weird way he seems to subconsciously know everything going on, the fact that his race is primordial) would lead to that. But if Lucia is a hive mind of all of Earth's children, like the eulogist is a hive mind of the galaxy's dead, and krakaren is a hive mind of.. somebody, presumably a previous season that somehow slid under the radar, then that kind of means she's already Earth's nascent primordial. I always thought it was weird that the soulless aliens cared about keeping children out of their blood sport, but maybe it's a practicality thing. Store the kids as a nascent primordial, which night be necessary for kicking off the harvesting process in the first place.
Corvid
Man, I'm not sure how I'd feel if he actually did casually sit down and mark Lucia then Lennie her. On one hand it would have been a smart decision, but it also feels like a choice that he could never walk back. Maybe even a choice that finally broke the dam and unleashed the river completely, along with a crazy spider lady.
Corvid
I don't think Bautista would ever beef with Carl. He cares for Katia too much and knows she sees him as a brother. Not to mention all the trouble Carl went through to save him on the train floor.
Corvid
"Step 1, throw one years budget in the US army's worth of bombs at the issue. Step 2, repeat step 1 until desired results are achieved."
Corvid
Yeah, I agree. Wars are messy, and this is a war from a first person perspective. It would detract a lot of he just stopped to in depth analyze things like usual imo.
Corvid
Dude a side compendium full of all the monster and item descriptions called like "AI's Guide to the Galaxy" would be great. I'd pay money for it.
Corvid
Honestly I feel like a loot box break would absolutely ruin the pacing right now. This arc is an all-out war. Wars are messy and chaotic, especially given the stakes. Stopping in the middle of it would be like the soldiers storming the beach on D Day stopping halfway up for a nice cuppa and a nap.
Corvid
Vodquila obviously. It exists, look it up.
Dennis Jannesson
Shes going to eat the flower when the fighting is done... She wants to help as long as she can before she goes to the 12th floor
Ilya Taytslin
I still do not understand how exactly did Li Jun die
Ilya Taytslin
I just noticed a discrepancy. As of 1 hour before Butcher's Masquerade, 31 hours before 6th floor collapse, there were 59,259 crawlers left, only 23,385 still on the 6th floor, and all of them within easy reach of the two stairwells near the High Elf Castle -- because the rest of the floor was already taken over by the brambles. The book even says "Crawlers by the thousands were in town, streaming down the stairs." Yet only 38,532 crawlers start the next floor. How did 20,727 crawlers out of the 23,385 still on the 6th floor manage to die in these remaining 31 hours? That does not seem possible.
Justin d
Can we also appreciate that we didn't know which card Donut picked until the climax of book 7? Raul "came" with great timing
Ilya Taytslin
Actually, it is not the FIRST mention. The hardcover books have an added portion at the end called "Backstage at Pineapple Cabaret", and the second one (that is, in "Carl's Doomsday Scenario" explains a bit about the 17th floor. I feel safe telling this, since the hardcovers are already in the bookstores.
Ilya Taytslin
I also agree
Dennis Gregory
Wait. Why is Katia still here and needs saving? Wasn’t the plan for her to eat the flower at the start of this phase?
Henry Cancino
Ok, I think Mongo has earned some new teeth caps. Mordecai said in book 2 he could wear up to six pairs. Maybe something with lifesteal, so he heals on attack?
E13design
The tone of the begining of 71 is probably the first time we hear Carl talk this way. I thought we were getting another former anarchist story. I like it, I like how it shows Carl.
Carolina Vieira
Any chance you’ll come to Europe at some point for a book signing Mr. Dinniman?
Brian Martin
Unless it moved into mongo….
Dragan
I’d bet money the ooz being alive. But I think watching the doomsday go off as the last hoorah before everyone dies at the very end of the series would be perfect.
Konlin Gappmayer
What do you guys think the chances are that the sand ooze has reformed down in the flooded area? Also i’m rereading the series and Samantha starts showing all o these powers after eating a soul Crystal on the 6th floor. I’m wondering if the doomsday scenario to empower Samantha in some way. I’m not sure how he’s going to use it but I really hope it’s not just a bomb.
Konlin Gappmayer
I think mongo needs a bit of a power up. It feels like he’s been a bit stagnant on the power levels.
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
Alchemy is one of her many talents. :P
Brandy Moser
I need more back story on Lucia!
Lauren
I’m still worried for Mongo’s life!
Josh Offsie
the concern was a level gap, but we never found out her level after she maxed out her skills earlier in the book with the amplification tower. Maybe she’s so overleveled it wasn’t a concern?
Kellen McKinney
So Lucia had a bottle of tequila, but spit out vodka. Lol
FossilWreckers
I assume she grabbed a "volunteer".
Parker Cobb
I agree this chapter was fast paced and overwhelming at times, but I think that's great. It's putting us in Carl's shoes. Not shoes but you know what I mean. I think that hectic of a sequence works very well with the 1st person narrative, would be dog water in 3rd person imo.
Grace, The Bringer of Scalpels, Queen of Fuckeryy
I am DYING I NEED THE END!!
Dragan
Here here!
Dragan
Yeah if Raul had become so powerful that he was a better pick than the super Lazarus a Bang-bang then you’d expect him to last at least a little longer.
Dragan
Why oh why did you say that! The first thing my mind came to was Carl killing Donut. I don’t think I can ever handle that event without breaking a little myself.
Dragan
Carl went absolute papa bear there and it filled my heart.🥹
Dragan
So what’s y’all’s thoughts on how Li Na conscripted the god like that without dieing? My thoughts are that she either has gotten crazy strong from the ring and is tough enough to handle it, or she stuck it to some creature or crawler and threw them at the god. The ladder is definitely a lot more grotesque.
Dragan
Welcome to the “we’re so desperate for more we’re continually rereading the whole series club” working title* I’m somewhere around 7th or 8th rerun and am at book 6 already.😁👍
Jim Robinson
I'm not sure it's objectively a "bad" twist, but it certainly is confusing and I don't understand it at all. Maybe we aren't supposed to? But I admit it certainly isn't my favorite development.
Michael Landesman
Li-Na isssss pissed!!!
Michael Landesman
Yeah I feel like the need for extreme speed that has been built up isn't leaving room for some of the exposition. I would like a bit more safe room / rest scenes when we can and Id love for Milk to get fleshed out as a character
Loyd Davis
I'm liking that psychotic meatball far more than I expected to
Betty
So the only time we’ve seen Alejandro (worm), he was in someone going to work at the kinder facility. Do you think Lucia originally got sent there (due to her age) and Alejandro then moved into her dog, entered the dungeon, and controlled her with spells, therefore keeping her real self locked away in her head? (The River she describes reminds me of Carl’s subconscious river). And once the dog died, he moved into her physically? How does this connect with the other kids? I guess Alejandro could have some magic still connecting him to the kinder facility that we don’t know about, but I haven’t seen many breadcrumbs talking about that other than knowing the Krakaren are a hive mind. But both Agatha and Alejandro were removed from the hive mind right? Were the kids transformed into a hive mind like the Krakaren? And that’s what the “kinder facility” is? And why different kids pop up in Lucia? I don’t know if it’s really a reveal if I have way more questions than answers. But my god do I love Rend’s deep giggle.
Saurid
So while I liekd the chapters the first one a lot more than the second and we may get more isnights later, this feels extremely rushed, especially because it's hard to understand whats going on and the thing with the dogs feels a bit like a "haha got you" moment I don't like in books because it was previously appernetly falsely established taht killing the dogs would free her form alexandro, but now it doens't or whatever. I don't think it's a bad twist but the execution sucks because we don't know shit why it didn't work, now if taht gets resolved the next chapter I haven't said anything, otheriwse I think this is the first time I did not like a plot developement in this entire book series.
Loyd Davis
Matt, you are masterfully wrecking my shit with these insanely accelerating final chapters. Thank you for continuing to do what you do so well!
Crystal DeFrate
I restarted the series after a week passed on the “coming hard & fast” post. *smiles*. Finished book 3 this AM. It’s interesting re-reading when you know what will happen later. A delicious layer is added to the tapestry.
Joseph Harris
I can see that. I can imagine them trying to separate him from the group to do it too.
J Holmes
I for sure thought the god poking at the tower was him destroying the net spell. It's possible it's down and Donut hasn't noticed, but there's no text to support it.
J Holmes
Only for him to get one shot by a dog.
Lauren
Nice
J Holmes
The wind tower dislocates Car's shoulder so badly it's in the middle of his chest. It makes rend giggle. Yeah, Rend is kinda terrifying.
Lauren
I kept thinking “oh shit this is happening NOT MONGO!” and held my breath lol
Lauren
Li Na and I also think Daniel Bautista is getting set up for a Carl showdown
Sean Hughes
That last bit with Mongo felt like my own pet was in danger, my hearts still racing lmao….. dammit you’re good at this
G Stephenson
No Lucia. He does (presumably) care about the children of Earth, but not enough to keep him from figuring out how to kill you. You're alive because of Florin. Carl trusts him, and he hesitated because he doesn't want to lose that.
Levi
Goosebumps man. Good stuff.
Daniel Rue
Hey, maybe it's a random class or race skill -- transmute alcohol?! lol
Daniel Rue
I wasn't *expecting* Raul, but with Raul in the story, surely that means a return of Travis Baldree!
Daniel Rue
Considering we started the book on this floor, I'm hoping we finish the floor so the next book can start with entering the next floor. So far we've had books with multiple floors and books where the whole floor is completed in one book. Considering how close to the end of Factions Wars we seem to be (very few factions left, that timed win condition, etc.) I hope the book doesn't end just shy of the end of the floor itself.
Jamal Jahabar
Raul! I can sleep easy now. I can hear Travis in my head saying "Daddy Carl". If this was a tv series, we need Raul shorts pre-credits.
Daniel Brian
Finally info on the Eulogist! Maybe THATS what we saw in the changeling? Of all the mysteries I want to know about, that creature is at the top of the list,CLOSELY followed by several others! 😆
Andrew Bartlett
To be clear, she only said that all the children would die if she did, not that they were in her head. It's more likely to be that she has a bomb or something at the facility in India as insurance.
Dragan
Fuck yes! It’s here!
Timothy Vorhoff
These two chapters were beautifully chaotic, but I am struggling to follow along because I’m not sure what levels Carl / Donut are and I’m not sure we’ve had a real break to allow them the standard buff / achievement / box scene. Someone mentioned that earlier in the comments and I thought it was a good point. I feel like I’m missing the interaction with mordecai who can tell us more of what’s going on and potentially give Carl and donut some loot / clue as to what is coming.
Dustin Horning
Totally stoked! I am going to have to re-read the last book to refresh everything!
Duke GIJOE
So Lucia is a Residial (or somehow controlled by them, in communication with the Residuals sent to India where the children center is.... That's downright EVIL! P.S. you may need to add an appendix or something that explains all the different bombs. I don't recall good descriptions or effects for all the ones mentioned in this chapter, let alone the book. I can guess.... but I would love an index from the AIs perspective that gives the system description for each item!
Nate Titus
My thoughts exactly, if Rend is being pulled toward Carl through the dog, the yeah the dog needs to be in the middle.
A. Dawson
Dont forget ALL THE CHILDREN OF EARTH in a single body
Mark Macaré
Aside from what others already pointed out regarding the positioning of Rend before vaporatinh Gus: how does he avoid hitting Mongo as well when Gus was shaking him in his jaws? Gustavo 3 probably needs to fling him to the ground or something.
Joshua Galaise
Lucia is getting piloted by a residual isn't she? It explains a lot about her. It's only a theory that I haven't fully hashed out in my head yet, I can't explain how the kids got in there but we don't know how the kinder facilitys actually work.
Jason
Wait.. “And he also stood between me and the dog.” Doesn’t it have to be that the dog is between Rend and Carl?
Danielle Black
I don’t know that Juice Box was ever team Carl & Donut. I think that once she was ‘awake’, the team up was a means to an end. Which is why Britney and her have gotten so close.
HT
Travis Baldree, the narrator of beware of chicken and cradle (among many other fan favourites), was the voice of Raul in the last audiobook. He is generally solidly booked years in advance for most projects.
Vickie Rashvand
I love how Li-Na gouging her eye out is par for the course in all of this chaos! I’m so excited!!
Vickie Rashvand
That’s correct! First official mention of Floor 17! 🥳
C0bra$
Thank u for the story
son of gaming
Love the focus on Lucia as well as Carl risking the whole army to make sure Donut survives without any trauma. However, I feel this chapter is a bit too fast paced. While this is how these moments are for Carl, as a reader I would prefer longer description to better understand exactly what is going on in any given moment
riyon hutton
I saw a post in here that speculates the Krakaren is in the nothing alongside the children in Lucia’s body. I wonder how many are in there
Michael Landesman
I agree with this sentiment
riyon hutton
I see something like a last supper before the betrayals
riyon hutton
Curious too. I wonder if that’s the author of beware of chicken
Christopher Anselmi
Who's Travis? And why is he awesome? I want to be excited too!!
Mark Macaré
Agreed. 'and he stood directly behind the dog' would make more sense.
Christopher Anselmi
Yeah I agree with this 100%. It's becoming more and more apparent how horrible this really is and why people don't make it past the 13th floor. Humanity can only be pushed so far and our crawlers are already starting to break. It's gonna get a lot worse before it gets better.
Laura Hemly
A frequently very creepy good boy, though!
Ian
For what it's worth, I haven't been able to get this "Factions Feasts" idea out of my head. Something mandatory, with the system ai teleporting everyone to their castle's equivalent of a grand hall for a few hours of peace before the fighting starts. Surely the faction leaders would want to make a glorious, masturbatory speech while they have cameras on them? At least, they'd probably have wanted that in past, more typical, seasons. Maybe not so much this season—making it all the more tempting a troll target to tickle the ai.
Keid
Damn, some big shit was going on with Lucia, she was the real main character all along.
Chris Furry
Well. Now I have two reasons to come.
William Magee
Thanks again Matt!!!
Courtney Partypants
I NEED MORE SAMANTHA 😭😭
Vaughn Mortensen
Yeah, he's a good boy.
Terra
you know, I was thinking of that book when I heard the way he talked, too! glad it wasn't just me. Beware of Chicken is such a fun book
Gabriel Seely
How many more chapters do we think in this book? I think we are at or close to the chapter count of book 6.
Dave Weber
I'm pretty sure that Daddy Carl is a reference to Beware of Chicken where all the cultivators call themselves daddy. "Kowtow before this daddy 100 times for forgiveness!"
Konlin Gappmayer
I know but they were supposed to be able to get the ingredients to make on other on the 6th floor and up. We don’t know this but I’d imagine another could be made at this point.
Varun Lamba
Another 3 day convention already? You, sir, are working incredibly hard. It was great seeing you at CapClave! Thanks for not killing Mongo. ps: Does John Hartness know you've replaced him with a stripper at this one?!
Ligma
Donut gave her special brew potion to Carl on the 5th floor so they could heal Orthrus, the giant feral god puppy.
Terra
Raul's over the top cultivator progression dialogue is always such a treat. "Daddy Carl" really got me this chapter. especially the bit about his "famed, alabaster feet" had me absolutely rolling.
Konlin Gappmayer
I’m rereading the series and I think it would be really cool if Matt had donut sing the song by that singer who was killed by the skull empire. I think it could be used very well as a stand up and fight against of the corruption moment. Also donut hasn’t ever used a special brew potion. I’m thinking it might just be her turn to do something crazy with that wild healing.
Terra
oh my god Carl. such a good cat dad, such a terrible general. he dropped everything to save her. 🥺🥺🥺 he loves that damn cat likes she's his child. li na is pissed! the towers going hahaywire because li jun is dead and then Carl immediately drops everything to save Donut. to be fair though, I didn't see anyone else going to save her. Lucia seems pretty certain of her safety for someone who Carl was about to take round the back like ol Yeller and put her out of our misery. he absolutely can and will kill you, Lucia. you don't get the kind of guy you're dealing with. amazing chapter! lots to think about! the krakaren prime is in the Nothing?! and what's this about the Eulogist?!! as always, great chapter Matt. we'll be pulling the red string together for weeks. ❤️
Justin d
Not to mention Juice Box
DannyK
You can tell it's a Carl Plan because everything is going sideways
Justin d
And will he COWTOW before you!?
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
So say we all!
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
An amazing chapter drop, as always. :) Thoughts and impressions: 1. "Conscription potions only work on the 9th, 12th, 15th, 17th, and 18th floors." Oooh, I think this was the first time we got any info about the 17th floor! Exciting *and* intriguing! 2. Lucia's pleading was so well done... Just a kid, after all. 3. “Daddy Carl is magnanimous today. Now you shall kiss his famed, alabaster feet and beg for forgiveness.” This got a literal LOL out of me. :) 4. Small correction: Lucia drank a bottle of tequila, but then she spat *vodka* at Carl. 🙃 5. "Harpocrates, level 250 is now a member of the Princess Posse." Another literal LOL 6. "She’d killed her own game guide." JFC. O_o The ultimate taboo. 7. "We are in the dark, and it’s so cold." Sounds an awful lot like what the AI had said when it held Carl in that spiky embrace at the end of book 6. :( 8. "And he also stood between me and the dog." Wait. If Rend rolled toward Carl, then he rolled *away* from the dog. Did you mean "And he also stood far enough away that the dog was between us"? 9. Goddamn, that last little monologue. O_o
Justin d
"A terrible deep giggling" Rend gives me nightmares
Mark B
I’ll be there with books and some loose bills then
Joseph Harris
Man, that was awesome. I feel like a Li Na vs Carl confrontation is on the horizon. She has always thought he was too reckless.
Matt D
Also, I’m sharing a table with a stripper.
Matt D
Yessir
Fyzzghank
Alexandro, Agatha’s coworker, infiltrated the kinder facility.
Fyzzghank
Amazing!!!!
waterkangaroo
Loved the first two paragraphs explaining Carl's thought process (or complete lack thereof) during moments like these. Fantastic to have confirmation that he's a bonefide Himbo 🙏
Mark B
Amazing! Will you be there all 3 days?
Mike Gainor
Just wild. I’ve got my theories about Lucia, but I’m sure whatever Matt is cooking up is going to be deeper, stranger and open up some crazy new level to this amazing story.
Laura Hemly
As has already been said, holy shit!! But I must say I keep wondering, if we're ramping up to the end, just HOW can things get ramped up any further??? Seriously, you are at truly insane levels of nonstop increases in action and chaos and everything else thrown in for good measure, and I have a hard time seeing any "up" in this picture!
Matt D
I’m not on the site , but I’ll be there. If you go, bring your own book
Matt D
https://scaresthatcare.org/author-con-iv
waterkangaroo
So approximately how many of the versions of chapter 72 that you wrote had Mongo dying a horrible tragic death? Bless you for not killing him, my heart could not take that 😭
Tom
Bottle of tequila =\= spit of vodka.
Mark B
St. Louis??? Is there an event?
Lauren J
You continue to outdo yourself. Had my heart pounding with that last chapter. I can't help it though... I really miss the comfort and security of everyone together in the shared safe space. Now the fractured relationships with the crew, it gives me the feeling nothing will be the same.
Stephen Greenwood
I remember that, by why/how was there a connection between her and the dog, and how does it affect all the children of Earth
waterkangaroo
GOD what a great couple of chapters. I adored how completely over the top Carl went in the beginning in his worry for Donut 🥺 The actions he took there are gonna have some real bad consequences for him, he fucked up BAD
waterkangaroo
“I don’t have any player killer skulls,” I said to her. “I was really, really hoping I’d never get one, but that’s the thing with scars. We rarely get to choose them.” ouch ouch ouch ouch D: I was so worried this would really be his first, but knowing Matt, Carl's first skull will be infinitely more devastating
Ed
"He’d gotten bigger. Much bigger. And he also stood between me and the dog. " Shouldn't the dog be between Carl and Rend for "he was magically pulled toward me" to kill the dog?
Jason Hatter
Alejandro is a Residual. Now that the dog is dead, he's either moved to Lucia, or he's free to join the war mages...
Ranen
::satisfied nodding::
Patrick Turner
Carl, stop monologing, Donut told you once already, now another villan got away because of it.
Matt D
Yes. I was waiting to get confirmation. I will probably make his reveal earlier in the book
Dennis Gregory
So … you got Travis for the audiobook?
Treamayne
Love the call-back to the Urchin Mobs of Over City (another time Mongo was in mortal danger due to Quills - possibly inspired by Dr. Pol?). Thanks for the hard work, but also take care of yourself.
Jamie
Seriously, same here. The notification popped up at that very moment. With lightning speed paused the audiobook to come read this.
Ed
A missed opportunity: this is set up as a Donkey Kong chapter. In the original game, the high level threat is (fire)balls, after the barrels. It ends with a ball as the high level threat. But this isn't mentioned.
Ian
I hope so! I'm fearful of everyone's safety; I could imagine the past crawlers doing a mass sacrifice to save as many people as possible to go to the next floor and get a real fighting chance of getting down to the 18th
Christine Brown
What the fuck, all the children?!?
Danielle Black
My heart can’t take this… It’s heartbreaking to see the team fracturing further. I can see Britney and Li Na turning on Carl and Donut when this is all over… which really sucks.
Nick Leach
So glad we got Raul back.
Joel Denning
Feels like he is building up a “record tenner” exodus of crawlers and the deaths of all the other warlords as Carl’s big moment to secure the some small future of earth and the suffering of the perpetrators of the crawl.
Bryan Pitts
Alexandro and Agatha are allies, it's in one of the epilogues.
Ed
This is all really great stuff. However, my favorite parts in the first six book are the stuff between the big, complex fights. The safe room scene with notifications and loot. The routine stuff like the shrine donation and applying buffs. Since the end seems to be close, I thought I'd put in a plea for another breather chapter, because right now I think the audiobook might be too unrelenting. All these chapters are great, real uppercuts of extreme action ... but 40 uppercuts in a row will make for a hard listen, for me. One great break in the action is the one-on-one trapmaster vs trapmaster scene, but that was awhile ago. In the many war histories I've read, there are a few key scenes that usually pop up. 1. Battle truces to collect the dead. 2. POV of others meeting generals. Often, someone near the general suddenly dies. 3. Capturing supplies
Joshua Galaise
Holy shit. That about sums up these 2 chapters
Elissa Kirk
What a wild ride 🥲.
Chey Collar
I might be shaking a bit after these chapters. Whew.
Tom
Thank you sir, may I have another? 🙃
Taylor Fairey
Now that we accelerating towards the end finishing these chapters and having to wait to see what happens next is excruciating
Taylor Fairey
I could be wrong but I think someone similar to Agatha has control of her
Alan Meyer
Sequence isn't over. Tower integrity falling
Rian Tyler
Seeing everything come together is so satisfying. The tension is ramping up! My heart was in my throat for this entire update
Jason Tinnel
Holy hell. How can this story get crazier!!!
Frank Morgana
Phew Mongo! Glad Gus is gone but she, Lucia on the loose or whoever is controlling her. And where is Louis!! I hope his ok
Sabe F.
Fucking seconded.
Mallory Richard
I don't want to rush good work, but I will say I was checking my phone compulsively today in hopes of getting something good to read. Thanks for granting my wish!
Preston Stokes
Holy shit! Great chapters Matt. Keep up the good work
EliteGeek
Quick little fix. Lucia took out a bottle of tequila but spit vodka at Carl.
austin kutz
Wtf is going on with her
Craig Carey
Wow, we are ramping up the crazy
shinobi keeton
Gaaahhhhhhhhh!!!
Stephen Greenwood
Fuck yeah! Bomo will return. The shit Lucia was saying to Donut about ruining her revenge was hilarious, I'm glad the dog is dead. Poor Mongo. I wonder how she's an ally of the Eulogist now. I ghost ship trap would pretty awesome to see work in Larracos, zooming up the pathways as part of the city's defenses.
Shantih Moriarty
Alabaster feet made me laugh so hard I fell off the bed
Parker Cobb
Holy balls that was incredible. Wtf does Lucia have to do with the Eulogist!?!?
Bethany Farrey
Mongo is ok, right? Right!?
Katyna Smith
What the fuck
Mark Noble
Damn!!! I'm so hyped. Also, could totally hear the Raul voice from the audiobook in my head for this one.
Dave Bunce
Raul!!!!! I thought they were going to take Lazurus but this is sooooo much better
James Getgood
AAAAAHHHHHHHH
Nicklaus Lindemann
You're a busy guy. And dope af. You're appreciated. <3
Ian
Matt: This chapter's heartbreak pushed aside for a moment, I've been reading and rereading these books over the past months, and I wanted to point out that you never gave us the catharsis of Carl having brought (I assume) a record number of crawlers to the 9th floor, and having 50k on top of that. It's something I had really been looking forward to (honestly, it's why I *needed* to read the next book early :D ) and although the scene with the cookbook authors is amazing, I can't help but feel Carl was robbed of his "everyone placing the train conductor hats at Donut's feet" moment
Tyler Vickers
You beautiful bastard, I'm in.
Michael T Davis
I was seriously about to die, way to satellite my need for life!
Jamie
Yesssss!!!!
Brian Cheney
We are LIVE baby!!!
EliteGeek
At the climax of the other book I am reading. Yet here I am as fast as the alert was posted.
Stephen Greenwood
Dammit, I just checked for an update and didn't see anything so I started installing a rotor head at work.
Magic Jake
DOUGHNUUUUUUUT!!!!!!
Austin Barnett
2’d
Nicholas John Pray
YAY!!!! THANK YOU!
