dinniman
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Update. Plus Webtoon Update. Plus Tour Update. Plus Poll. Plus the Legend of Meatus.
🕑 Added 2025-01-30 23:38:49 +0000 UTCHey, first off I wanted to apologize for not having the first few chapters ready yet. I know it's been a minute. I had a due date of January 15th with Penguin Random House for the standalone novel, Operation: Bounce House, and I'm still fiddling with the climax of that book. I have been writing my ass off, but in typical Matt fashion, I made the book a lot less linear than it should be. Once that is done (and it IS done, I'm just tweaking now), my writing attention is 100% focused on book 8. I know that's not a great excuse for those of who pay for the Patreon, but it's the truth. Again, apologies. A couple things.
Poll
In book 8, when a team hits the pit stop, they can upgrade their vehicle. But if they come in the bottom of the current heat (and survive), they can't choose the upgrade to their vehicle. Instead, the audience gets to choose. You don't actually know yet what sort of vehicle Carl and Donut have. You don't even know if it's mechanical or biological. What upgrade should they get should they ever find themselves in this position?
Webtoon.
If you saw the other day, a random pre-order appeared on Amazon for the book version of a webtoon (comic) adaptation of DCC from Vault appeared and then disappeared on Amazon. The book showed up on accident, and if/when a print version appears, it'll come with plenty of notice. The webtoon itself should be out in May. But because of that weirdness, I asked if I would be able to share some of the storyboards. Unlike some of the other webtoon adaptations we've seen, this follows the book VERY closely.
These are just the pencils. It'll all be in full-color. If you're not sure what a webtoon is, check out an example.
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE THIS.
Book Tour.
I will be going on a short but chaotic tour to support the hardcover release of books 4, 5, and 6 from Penguin Random House. As for all of these, check with the individual bookstores for the rules about how to get tickets. Only the very first one is up yet. Also please don't share these dates yet as it's not public yet.
Only the very first one of these is official and out in the world yet, but these are pretty locked down. There may be one or two more added here and there.
The book 4 release will be in Seattle at University Book Store March 10. (Click for tickets) Also, at the Penguin Random House booth the weekend before that at Emerald City Comic Con Seattle if you're going.
The book 5 release will be at Strand Bookstore in NYC on April 9. This isn't yet up on their site I don't think.
The book 6 release will have a short, Matt-doesn't-need-to-sleep-anyway tour that will hit multiple cities. They are:5/13 - Portland, OR: Powell’s Books
5/14 - Sacramento, CA: Barnes & Noble #1996
5/15 - San Diego, CA: Mysterious Galaxy
5/16 - Tempe, AZ: Changing Hands Bookstore
5/17 - Dallas, TX: Half Price Books
5/18 - Miami, FL: Books & Books
5/19 - Washington, D. C.: East City Bookshop
5/20 – Naperville, IL: Anderson’s Bookshop
5/21 - St. Louis, MO: The Novel Neighbor
5/31 - Bremerton, WA: Ballast Book Shop
Again, these aren't public yet, so please don't share.
In addition to all the above, I will have a few con events throughout the year. We have LITPRG Con in Denver in July, DragonCon in Atlanta, and more. More on that soon.
The Legend of Meatus.
Okay, since we're not getting a chapter today, I figured I'd give you guys SOMETHING. This was originally going to be a prologue, but I re-purposed it to be the Soundbooth Theater commercial at the end of the audiobook. As you probably know by now, these commercials are all silly little things we add to just the audiobook, but I always put something in there that adds hints to real, in-book lore or upcoming storylines. This one has more than most. Here is the script for the commercial that appears at the end of the book 7 audio coming out February 11th.
If it's REDACTED, it's stage direction for Jeff only. It probably doesn't say what you think it might say.
THE STORYTELLER
Kids: He’s coming! He’s coming!
Door opens. Storyteller enters. He’s a very old man. (REDACTED). An old, female voice greets him. Just old. The woman sounds a little (REDACTED), but very, very old.
Old woman: They’re restless today. You made it in the nick of time.
Storyteller: (Under his breath) How are they doing?
Old woman: (Also under her breath) You know. Like usual. About what one can expect from immortal children.
The kids sound just like normal children. There are lots of them, and they clamber for attention.
Kids: Yay! Hi Storyteller!
Storyteller: Hello, little ones. It’s been a minute. How are you today?
Kids: Tell us a story! Tell us a story!
Storyteller: (chuckles) All righty. Come on. Circle around. What do we want to hear today?
Kids: Tell us about Princess Donut and Carl again.
Random kid: No. He’s told that story a million times. I want to hear about the last stand of Ntumba.
Another kid: No, tell us about Corcunda the half-mantaur and the womantaurs and how they enslaved him.
PJ: No, that’s what he told us last time. I want to hear about the intergalactic taxation relief subcommittee’s 35 hour session to break the Soother filibuster.
Random kid: Shut the fuck up, PJ. Tell us about the harem. I want to hear about Gash and Slit and Mudflaps and all the others.
Storyteller: (Chuckling) I think it’s Jabari’s turn to pick a story.
(All groaning.)
Kid: He’s just going to pick what he always picks.
Another kid: Yeah, he’s a pervert.
Storyteller: Well, let’s see. Jabari, what story do you want to hear today?
Jabari: I want to hear how Harpocrates lost his dick.
(All groaning again.)
Rando kid: See? See?
Random kid: You’re a fucking weirdo, Jabari.
Storyteller: (Chuckling again.) It’s okay. Remember what I said last time? Even if you’ve heard a story before, when you change the point of view of the person telling the story, it changes completely. Whose point of view did I tell it from last time?
Random kid X: The stupid gremlin. Not Meatus, but the gremlin. Why do they have the same name? That makes it confusing. And the time before that, it was Harpocrates.
Another Random kid: No, it was the Taurin bartender, Whisky Jack.
Random kid X: No it wasn’t, doofus.
Storyteller: It doesn’t matter. This time we’ll do it from the point of view of Thumbtack. Remember, this was a long, long time ago. Thumbtack was one of the pharmacists at the Cosmic Lounge, and he’s the one who gave Meatus the Gremlin the knife in the first place. Now I want you all to close your eyes. I’m casting the Cinematic Audio spell now. I want you to picture it. We are in the cosmic lounge. There’s some quiet whispering and chatter. Soulful jazz music plays in the background of the bar. There’s a woman singing over a jukebox. We focus in on a table in the back of the bar. Meatus the gremlin is at the table, looking over the suitcase of pharmaceuticals that’s being presented to him by Thumbtack, who is a half djinn, half bobcat.
Random kid Terry: What’s a bobcat?
<REDACTED>
Storyteller: Just close your eyes, Terry, and you’ll see.
(As he talks, the scene changes to what he’s describing. We fade from the storyteller’s circle to a bar. We start to hear the sounds he’s describing)
A bell above the door jingles. Heavy feet walk across the bar.
Thumbtack: Look, it’s another god. This place ain’t been the same since they added an entrance on the Ascendency levels. So, anyway, I’m knuckles deep in her mouth, and she’s like gagging, right? And I said, if you ain’t got the gold, then I’ll take the pills back myself. So she starts coughing, and if she wasn’t an ice fairy, I’m pretty sure she’d be blue anyway. I don’t want to extend my claws cause I don’t want to rip her throat out, but you don’t just cheat ol’ Thumbtack either.
Meatus: (sighs) Yeah.
Thumbtack: Meatus, you okay, buddy? You’re not your usual self. You usually love these stories.
Meatus: Eh, sorry Thumbtack. I’m a little distracted bud. It’s just... you know nothing seems to work anymore. Ever since I met her. Everything is like it’s in black and white.
(From across the bar)
Harpocrates: Turn off the music. It’s too loud. It hurts my head.
Thumbtack: Godsdamned deities ruining everything. Listen, Meatus, buddy. You want a love potion? I got a love potion. Right here. Fairy wings and menses of a cupid pig. It’s a suppository. Like one for her, but once you get it up there, she’s yours forever.
Meatus: It’s not that, man. She already likes me. She’s a demi-god herself. She used to bang Yarilo, and she’s always talking about how exhilarating it was. Look at me, man. I’m just a gremlin. What do you think I’m packing down there? I can’t compete with a god.
Harpocrates: Turn it off, or I will turn you off.
Meatus: (Under his breath) They’re always coming in here, bossing everyone around. The fucking music was here first.
Thumbtack: Dude, keep your voice down. That’s Harpocrates. He can hear you.
Meatus: I don’t give a shit. I liked that song.
Thumbtack: Listen, don’t worry about him. But I know what you mean, man. I’m a half-djinn. Everything is spinning down there. If I don’t time everything right, it can get really messy. It’s like a carnival ride gone haywire. Remember Licky-Licky Lucy? I accidentally tossed her through the window of my apartment the other day. Here. You’re my friend. You can borrow this, free of charge.
(The sound of a large knife being put on the table)
Meatus: A knife? What does this do?
Thumbtack (whispering): It’s called the Knife of Ophiotaurus. I’m not supposed to have this, so keep it on the downlow. Let’s take a stroll to the killing fields, find an ogre or something, and (Makes a slicing noise). It resurrects dead flesh and allows you to attach it to yourself. You’ll have to cut your own off first, but you can keep it on ice and stick it back on if it doesn’t work out. But it’s a resurrection tool that allows you to attach things to yourself.
Meatus: Uh... and I can feel it, and it’ll work like normal?
Thumbtack: That’s right. It’s from the old age. From before the Ascendency. I got it so I can cut my lower half away and replace with real legs, but I keep chickening out.
Meatus: But you’re sure it’ll work?
Thumbtack: Oh, it’ll work all right. You ever wonder why I got six fingers on this hand? Slices like butter, too. Super sharp. You don’t even feel it cuttin’
Meatus: Really? You’d let me borrow this?
Thumbtack: If it keeps you from moping around, then...
There’s a loud smash, followed by an angry shout. The music abruptly stops.
Harpocrates: I want to listen to my stories! Not this music!
Whisky Jack (Bartender. He’s a Taurin (a bull). REDACTED): Goddamnit, Harpocrates. I was about to turn it off.
Harpocrates: We listen to this, or we don’t listen to anything.
(click)
(A Soundbooth theater audio production starts playing in the background.)
Whisky Jack: What the hell is this?
Harpocrates: It’s a cinematic audio production from Soundbooth theater dot com. It’s better than that stupid music. It’s like a regular audiobook, but it has a full cast, original music, and sound effects. It’s like a movie, but in audio form. They have an app and everything.
Whisky Jack: Okay, but why did you have to destroy my jukebox? One doesn’t normally play audiobooks in bars. I was about to turn it off.
Harpocrates: Bartenders aren’t usually twisted around their own bar like decorative lights, either.
Whisky Jack: Point taken. Listen away.
Thumbtack: Fucking gods. I do like a good audiobook, though. Nothing compensates for a person’s inadequacies more, both physical and moral, than being an audiobook narrator. There’s one. Her name is Annie Ellicot. She once killed a bald eagle with her bare hands, ate it raw, and wore its corpse as a hat. And nobody cares because she’s so good. Anyway, be careful with that knife. Whatever you do, don’t try to use it on a god. Cause whatever you cut off, it’ll... Meatus? Where did you go? Meatus?
Harpocrates: (shouts in pain.) What the fuck? What the fuck?
(Someone): Dude, that guy just stole your dick!
...
Storyteller: Harpocrates was so distracted by the amazing, silken voice of Jeff Hays, the gremlin sneaked under his robes, and he managed cut his wang off. The gremlin attached it to himself, and the rest is history.
Kids: Yay! Tell it again! Tell it again!
Lone kid: I’m starting to feel as if these stories are just paid advertisements.
Kids: More! More!
Storyteller: One story at a time. It’s time for me to go. But remember, before I get back next time, you can always go to Soundbooth theater dot com and get more immersive stories just like this.
Storyteller gets up. To the woman, he says quietly:
Storyteller: Until next time. I miss you.
Old Woman: Is that Annie Ellicot story with the bald eagle true?
Storyteller: Does it matter?
Old Woman: I guess not.
~~~
And that's it for now. More soon. I appreciate you all.
Comments
Pockman
Comic was work the wait: check it out on WEBTOON!
Sam Burnett
Just joined. I didn't know there was a comic adaption. That is so cool! Can't wait
Will
Just finished my second one too :)! Do you mean Mordici’s Special Brew (What Carl used during the encounter with Grull (sp?))? If so — they did! The issues they were ran into was that I think the dungeon would count the “foreign bits” as part of the “new Loui” and so it wouldn’t kill the last warlord. They needed to replace the parts first then have the special brew do it’s magic
Zehrox
Did that Old Lady sound... You know what... nevermind.
Crazydiamond
Just finished the last audio book for the second time.. Why didn't you just have Carl give Louie the super healing potion from the Iron Tangle floor? The one that keeps healing him no matter what? Then rip out the foreign bits and he will grow the natural bits back?
Scott Reese
Now all I want for Christmas is to hear Donut say "GODDAMMIT CARSEAT!"
Gingerlochs
Since it looks like the car seat is winning.... Can it be made to be adjustable so it can be attached to Mongo's saddle? xD
Tasha Gonzalez
I hope all the other big name characters have a back story spin offs. "Oh no how terrible." Said no Princess Posse or Donut Hole ever!!
BJ
Looking at the results. It looks really close to how the in universe polls would probably look. People trying really hard to get them killed and the Princess Posse.
Ilya Taytslin
Or you could write it yourself. DCC universe is all but tailor-made for writing fanfic, and I am actually surprised at how little of it exists. archiveofourown.org has a bunch of DCC fanfic, most of it very bad, some decent. Someone started writing Book 1 form Elle's point of view, and this one is amazingly good, but unfortunately gave up.
Tyrant Grant
I hope Carl will get some serious Achievements for his work as Warlord. He's basically a 5 Star General. He plans and organizes and carries the mental burden of keeping 80 thousand people alive. But he isn't getting his hands... ah.. feet dirty as often to gain XP. I guess the AI doesn't like paws? Cause Donut did some serious *smush* did the AI like that, too?
Nicholas John Pray
I got my brother in law to start dcc. he kept sending me lines he's laughing at, so now I'm rereading it. Not upset
Linda
Does Jeff Hays ever make a guest appearance at signings?
Ryan wheeler
Its been a long rough wait on patreon waiting for a glimpse of the next book
Cameron Becker
I'm starting to get the itch, Matt. I need more Carl and Princess Donut.
M F
I loveee me some Pony
chase howell
I've listened to it 2 times now, is book 8 almost done yet? 😅 Jk thank you Matt for this amazing story and thank you Jeff for really making the book come to life. Almost to the point where readers can miss important parts of the story, really talking about the change in the AI voice. Almost as if it's fighting itself for control. Truely brilliant.
chase howell
*byattling FTFY
Jason Tinnel
Oh that would be brilliant little addition
Jason Tinnel
Literally the same boat. I made it 6 days… need more. So many storylines, I need more.
Paul Wayne
I rationed the audiobook as much as possible but here we are, back to the inevitable wait. You will not break me Matt.
Paul Wayne
I’m hoping that comment made by the story teller about how the point of view of the story changes the story is alluding to this. Would also love to hear a story of some low level crawler surviving in the background of all the mayhem from the main group.
Paul Wayne
This level has “wacky races” written all over it. Could totally see the AI loving old cartoons and how violent they are.
Viggstable
I would love to see some pop culture references to either “Wacky Races” cartoon or Speed Racer Cartoon it would be dope
Craig Bush
So with the 10th floor being associated with transportation. I’m really hoping Carl’s level 8 frogger skill reference comes full circle.
Jason Tinnel
Welcome to the party.
Amora Johnson
Gonna have to disagree with you hard on how taller people are shaped. It sounds like you're saying tall people have larger skulls, and while that's generally true, their heads are proportional to their bodies. So when we're looking at a drawing of Carl, his head isn't going to look "larger." Also, taller people don't have "less sharp features" due to them being tall. Height has nothing to do with how angular a person's face is. If I could upload a photo, I'd introduce you to my 6'4" husband with a jaw line so sharp it could cut bread. In addition, the humans who have larger heads and rounder features babies and children. Let's not make Carl look like a chibi bobble head. Okay?
Manny Sanchez
Hi. In the distant future. Could we get a spin-off storyline of Prepotente, his adventures and way of thinking/battling? Thanks.
Failtasmagoria
I always tell new listeners, Jeff doesn't just narrate. He performs.
Karen Bennett
I just booked it too!
John Miller
I feel like the production quality gets better every book. Jeff Hays is a narration god.
Benicio del Sanchez
Never really listened to audiobooks before, read Book 7 when it came out, I'm giving the Listener Life a try and I gotta tell you, it's working out for me.
matt southerland
I was super excited to see that Matt D would be in DC and began making plans to see him but then realized that I will be OCONUS TDY during that time… Army, just my luck…
William Magee
Just started listening! The production quality is incredible!!! Thanks so much Matt!!
Sabe F.
It drops at 6-9 am PST (amazon is seattle based) so it'll be a book to enjoy brunch with for most I think.
Sabe F.
I've already read the book, and of course read it here in the draft version, but there's just something about how Jeff brings the story to life that I can't wait to experience.
Tom Keul
So like, what time and time zone does audible drop the preorders into your library? I can probably go like 28 hours straight to finish it 😅. Seriously though, I've already listened through the whole series again and the audio immersion tunnel, and read book 7. Still can't wait for the audio!
Dragan
Can hardly think of anything else man, so excited!
Daniel
I know, I didn’t ment it that harsh <3 this thing here is just for us to support him directly with him given the chance to give us something back. I never saw something like this Patreon. Giving us access to the chapters as he writes them is something so wonderful and I would never take it for granted. If he didn’t have the time to finish a chapter it’s fine with me and I still want to support him. This is a Matt Dinnimann Patreon and not a DCC one afterall. But sorry, I didn’t ment to confront you or something. I just wanted to sate that I disagree <3
Antony Briggs
I'm not hating. I was suggesting a pause instead of an open-ended wait, makes sense if he knows he has another project to work on. It would allow him to focus on what he needs to, without feeling obligated to us.
Daniel
You will get your content. Did he raise prices for dropping a shitload of chapters at the end of the last book? We got like 8 chapters in a month. Let him take his time.
Melissa Glisan
Damn it! My dad went off his meds and we just got things back to normal. I missed voting. Boo! But there wasn't any selection for Dixie playing air.
Sabe F.
Audiobook for book 7 comes out in 2 days, who else has preordered and is waiting for the audible drop?
Teal
Ha. I can imagine a talking car seat that comes with great buffs would be an interesting item to tolerate.
Antony Briggs
Hi Matt, You know you can pause Patreon billing if you want to take some time off for non DCC stuff? Love your work, slightly obsessed in fact, but paying $9 for a prologue and an outro feels bad.
Sabe F.
I have to say I agree, it doesn't match the description of him very well at all. And "if you don't like it draw it yourself" is kind of a nonstarter. It's okay to have an opinion, it's okay also to notice that the proportions of the character doesn't fit the vibe the character gives off. The character as drawn doesn't really fit, that just isn't how people are shaped when they're around 6'3", it's closer to the facial shapes you see on shorter 5'7"ish folks. Taller people have bigger skulls, less sharp features, just what happens as the skull gets larger.
Joseph Christian
You need to have a mob similar to the sentient tire in the movie rubber
waterkangaroo
have you SEEN his schedule?? I'm tempted to bring the man a pillow and a blanket when I go to that event
Gary Conn
Thanks for the notice, can't wait
Christian Hudson
The Strand event in NYC is online https://www.strandbooks.com/events/event49225
Jared Bell
Novel neighbor is open for registration and I couldn’t be more fucking excited. See ya in the Lou!
Seva Batkin
If I could draw anything, I would. But this is not about drawing skills.
RileyC
You’re always welcome to draw it yourself 🤷🏻♀️
RileyC
I imagine the GPS to be like GLaDOS in Portal. Extremely passive aggressive to the point where you aren’t quite sure if she’s serious or not.
Dragan
Definitely see where you’re coming from. It’s exactly what I first thought before thinking about how it could be a fun twist of expectation. Carls lines coming from that face could be funny. Plus it fits the web comic art style.
Seva Batkin
Personally hate it - that’s not at all how he is described in the book and doesn’t match his background or personality.
Seva Batkin
I have to saw I completely hate Carl in the webtoon. He is supposed to be a 6’3” big guy who works a blue collar job. Why draw him as an anime / elfen pretty boy with perfect hair?
riyon hutton
Ordered https://signedpage.com/products/the-butchers-masquerade-by-matt-dinniman
Guber
Yay webtoon! Also y'all some trolls! I hope she gets the safety seat!
Jenni Hewitt
Come see us in the UK soon on a tour please Matt :)
James Askew
No. Closed down a long time ago. The owner , if my memory serves me right , has a comic book store in Ventura …. Don’t remember the name though
Daniel Rue
I feel the same about the GPS. Any of the other options might not command as much attention, but with SO many characters (even side characters like cleaner bot, the various mounts/pets, the coin sock, and possibly Florin’s gun), it’s just too much.
MJW
Webtoon! Webtoon! Webtoon! An all-media blitz is welcome. Give me all versions, yes, yes, yes!
Christian Hudson
Lived there a long time ago, is there any shot the Andromeda Book store is still around? I met Frank Herbert and Ann McCaffrey there way back.
Frank Morgana
Woah man can't wait for the webtoon!!! We want a quasar spin off webtoon!
Raul Alvarez
Thanks for letting us know, got my tickets also.
William Magee
Thanks a million Matt!!
Matthew Jones
Is there a schedule yet for ECCC? Can you just sneak me in to see your panel?
Sabe F.
Imagine the list that he has sitting around because "The Nothing is filled with the harem".
Konlin Gappmayer
Object gained Karen’s minivan. This beautiful Honda oddesy comes with a uniquely iterating problem. It once belonged to Karen. Her spirit now haunts these 4 wheel. Problem, Karen doesn’t like that you now own her minivan. Karen doesn’t ask to be shown to managers anymore. She is the manager. Expect Karen to kill you at the earliest possible convince.
Dennis Gregory
“Mudflaps?” Sigh. I hope you’re proud of that one. (The demon, not the reward).
Adam Newkirk
The Naperville, IL event is live on their website. I got ticket #5. Got to meet Matt at a Con in Iowa and now he’s coming to the town where I live!
James Askew
Santa Barbara is beautiful and you can write off the trip as a business expense. The two lone bookstores that are anygood are struggling..... I would personally buy you a cup of coffee should you make a stop here.
Erik Leiden
Please not the car seat folks! We have enough wacky non-human side characters - and even talking items!
Dragan
The comic could express so much more nuances than the show. Most of the words in the books are Carls inner monologue and that can be hard to translate in film, especially live action.
Dragan
I never pictured Carl to look like that but I kinda like it. Super happy to see your still alive Matt. Know we all love you and your work.
David Jones
Matt, most of here support "Matt", not Carl. I am not the only one here looking forward to Operation: Bounce House. You do you, no apologies. We're all just grateful for how you enrich our lives. I like the idea of incorporating the kid's carseat with the GPS killer? device. It would be interesting if it had the Oil Slick too, and it used the oil slick to try to kill them by spraying it forward, not backward.
Kristy Carella
I would be down for that!
Jen DuBay
Genius. The damn things just come standard on EVERY vehicle In a variety of sizes/colors/shapes.
Dave Bunce
Orrrr hear me out, truck nuts come with the vehicle already
Christian Hudson
Anyone planning on making the trip to nyc want to meetup after? Happy to workout out a place if needed. Matt love to have you along for the ride too if your ass isn’t owned by the soulless corporation for the night.
Jay Prado
Can the child seat be a fan box from the Donut Holes?! Thus widening the rift between Donut and her rebellious fans.
Christian Hudson
What if the GPS and car seat are married …or better divorced
Amanda Rollins
Agree with so many of the comments stating I am a member of your Patreon to support you as a writer, in all that you are doing and will do in the future. The access to early chapters and books as they are being written is just a wonderful bonus!
Matthew S
I feel like I've seen this post somewhere before 😏
Matthew S
Well I mean it does say "Choose all that apply" meaning we can vote for multiple things, meaning the highest voted things will all probably get added. So...
Paul Wayne
I enjoy edging as much as the next degenerate, but I was starting get get a little raw down there
Failtasmagoria
He's just edging us for his own amusement...
Failtasmagoria
That's because you're a degenerate, mudskipper-loving, poll-piggy. Pick better choices!
Failtasmagoria
It's a beyond-the-fourth-wall situation because it's an in-world advertisement for a real-world company, so I don't think it really matters in this case. Or does it? Eh...
Failtasmagoria
First, don't apologize. Fully understandable based on the impossible situation you've put yourself in. So shut up, suck it up, and do your thing! The Dinni'mob will hold the line. Just don't forget to take time for family, food, and fun. Gotta keep your batteries charged up, buddy. Second, giving them both the car seat and the GPS is a recipe for insanity. The car, arguing with the car-seat - is the car-seat removable? Transferable to another vehicle? Wearable as a backpack? Where's the mouth on the car-seat? Does it talk with a lisp? (screw you, Jeff, muahaha) Does the GPS sound like KITT and does the intro jingle from Night Rider play every time they start up the car? Or is the GPS more like Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide? Jeff doing an Alan Rickman voice? Yes, please. Might have to make the four-hour drive from Tulsa to Dallas for that May tour-date, but that's near the end of the school year, so we might be busy with end of year technology updates and fixes prepping for finals week(s). (I work Technology Support for a school district - all our students have Chromebooks, Desktop PC labs, and every classroom has a BenQ smart-board, plus all the other crap schools have that can break, so when it rains, it pours, and stuff falls apart in groups) Just waiting on Book 4 hardcover to release so I have an excuse to take another photo on the toilet...
Ghirahn
Minivan Upgrade Suite: Soccer Mom Edition
Keith Ross
Like a few have said…if you had the murder gps and the protective car seat both it could be hilarious
Saurid
Dear matt, please implement both upgrades for the vehicle. It would be hilarious if the gps and childseat are integrated and the seat doenst know if the gps wants to kill them so the two fight all the time.
Elijah Lay
Matt, any chance of you swinging through Pittsburgh while you're near DC? There is a local bookstore near my apartment called Cozy Corner that is great and I'm sure would love the business. Then you can pay for my wife and I to have dinner while you smoke my stash, play my Xbox and hang out with my dogs. Or just the bookstore part, whichever is cool.
Treamayne
Wouldn't know, everytime I pick an option, it's last place (or lowest three, at best)
fidric
*go team GPS* just think of the jeff voice i am glad that matt is able to explore non DCC writing and am looking forward to that standalone novel as well. i sort of roll my eyes when people wish matt will write x20 DCC books and endless spin off series forever... the webcomic looks great, love donut. i am honestly more 'excited' for the comic than the tv show personally as a medium.
Daniel Rue
Like the others have said, while I eagerly await chapters, I’d rather know you’re not trying to bite off more than you can chew trying to pump out content. Please, take care of yourself. With that said, I may have overlooked or misremembered, but doesn’t the wider universe use a different time scale? Should the “hours” in the end of book commercial be like cycles or something?
GamersLoveGaming
Just want to say am not a Patreon just for the chapters am a patron because I want to support what you do
Beth Heile
I agree with many of the comments here - TAKE A BREAK, MATT!! We support you not to get a dose of DCC on a schedule but because we believe in you and support YOU, the person. We'll be delighted when chapters for book 8 are ready, but it happens when it happens. Please don't overwork yourself because you feel you "owe" us something - we'll be fine :)
son of gaming
The webcomic looks absolutely gorgeous, I can´t wait to see it in full
son of gaming
I can´t talk for everyone but take as much time as you need. I am at patreon because I love your work so much that I want to make sure it continues, not because I need the chapters (even though I check daily for them). We all know you work hard and bring them out as fast as possible and it has allways been worth the wait.
Fyzzghank
Matt, you did astonishing work on book 7 and everything leading up to it. You put out a massive and amazing 9 chapter finale in October. Please take some time and don’t feel pressure from patreon. We need you healthy and reasonably sane to keep giving us more stuff forever.
Jim Robinson
Fellow DC person here. I'm excited to see Matt come our way. Happy future birthday
riyon hutton
I feel that we are owed since Yakima has been wrong for so long in the audiobooks. Plus, Mat can meet my cocker spaniel mix.
riyon hutton
Yay ! Matt when are you coming to Yakima or the Tri Cities? Also, please bring a Trader Joe’s store with you
Amanda Rollins
Please put Nashville on a tour soon, we are feeling very neglected!
Jimi Kane
Only if Douglas Rain voices the GPS . . . .
Tom Keul
I honestly expected the mudflaps option to be Beatrice. I definitely like the mudflaps as the alien girl if it's the same hula alien the lawyer's tie had, actively dancing away. I keep picturing different options in the poll on like, a tawn tawn from Star Wars as the biological option. And I don't think you can go wrong with any of them XD. Sad I was in Seattle for like 2 weeks during a quite period in your schedule; good luck with the tour! IDK about other people on this Patreon, but I'd rather hear nothing for months if it meant the same killer content getting published.
Terra
No worries on the posting Matt, we know you're hard at work! so excited for Operation Bounce House once it comes out! Personally, I consider my patreon payment to be "give Matt money to make me good shit" and since you're still making good shit, it's all good here haha. It'll get to us when you can get it to us. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The Legend of Meatus is hilarious! A lot of interesting characters just got added to the universe! I am putting them all up into position on my conspiracy board, as I'm sure you expected. What's up with these immortal children? And why do they need to be kept entertained? I will be ruminating on this. omg Donut's face is so perfect. She's so goddamn ugly. Perfect baby, 10/10 could not make her better myself. She's so ridiculous. I love her. Carl doesn't look too bad either! I really like how young he looks! I love Jeff's voice for him, but everyone things he's in his late thirties! Carl is a fresh face baby at 27. He's BARELY begun to process his Adverse Childhood Experiences growing up, and now he's a single father to a stuck up princess cat? Anyway, I love him. He looks great. His hair is ridiculous. I can't wait to print out pictures of him once the webcomic is out and put them on my wall. etc, etc. Thanks for the update!
Scarhand
After reading that I kind of want a chapter of dcc with redacteds all over the place
Cody Hays
marsupial pouch?
William Holmes
Thank you Sir Dinniman! May I have another? 😜
Jacqueline Roscher
You are missing out! I am not usually an audio book person, but I cannot even read these books. The narrator is just that good. And, I can’t recreate Prepetente (sp?) in my head.
Cody Hays
COME TO CINCINNATI, Where we have Skyline chili flavored ice cream.
Freiler Thompson
Second on Raleigh, or Flyleaf Books in Chapel Hill is great.
Jake Samuels
It's always a wonderful feeling to pick an option in a poll and see that option in the lead. Looking forward to seeing the final choice, whatever it ends up being, in the book.
Mike Gierhart
Damn, this is a tough poll. So many good options…
Lauren Woomer
Thank you!
CONOR TUNNELL
I’ve been waiting forever for you to come to Az. And I feel like there’s a new achievement coming. 😎
Damien Paul
Take your time Matt. I'm happy to wait for you to get all your Ducks in a row, before sending out the chapters for the next book. In other words, with respect, shut up and take my money 😆
Michael Fannon
And they constantly argue with Donut saying they should just sleep with each other and get it over with? I love it.
Treamayne
Clambor (climb awkwardly) should be Clamor (loud, raucous, tumult)
Treamayne
And, by "Car seat" you mean a reconstructed Goblin Sidecar (Donut edition) with purple cushions and five-point harness. . . right?
Missy
We will be there too! Go STL
Laura Hemly
When people come to Florida, why do they always come to Miami or Orlando? What's wrong with Tampa? Don't you love us enough? Or are we maybe the home of the Donut Holes so Donut has put us on the "Never ever!" list? Just kidding! 😅 Wish I could see you -- maybe next time!
ArDee
Hahahahaha! I love this!😂
Tyler Jones
If the GPS has a personality and isn't just a list of directions then I vote GPS. Otherwise Car Seat.
Charles D Parrott
I missed you in St. Louis last time but my buddy got me the first book signed. I want to attend this time around!
Paul Wayne
Thanks Matt, not just for the amazing content but also for teaching me the value of delayed satisfaction.
Dave Wilks
I wanted to pick the car seat, but the stereo was what popped into my head immediately. Super loud but it inly has an 8 track of Freedom Rock. And screw Tempe! Come to Denver.
Ed
For biological possibilities, let me suggest a word mentioned in DCC dozens of times: "Mudskipper" -- since mudflaps are an option.
Tuk Tuk
The webtoon looks sick!! Can't wait to see more. I hope the sentient car seat wins, but all of the options are amazing. It was hard not to chose the radio, I think your addition of specific songs at specific times is masterful and you have great taste. The car seat can basically play the part of the reader and be as protective of her as we feel. Buckle up Donut!
Vickie Rashvand
You are a treasure. Thank you for all that you do! ❤️
Geekdumb
Pretty sure Carl still has plenty of coal from ripping off the goblins back on floor 1. Also the Sheol bricks
Jones
Tough choice between the car seat and the GPS... but in the end I really want to hear Donut either love the car seat or absolutely hate it but still reluctantly sit in it
Jesse Lortz
Just got my seat and book for your mesa stop! Can't wait!
Crystal Smalling
Mudflaps but the alien girl should look like Princess Chandra
Geekdumb
But would be even more hilarious on something biological. Taking the logical out of biological
Christopher McCoy
To be fair, it is his job 😂
Geekdumb
Oooo... how about an engine block grill
Kile Adams
I like the stereo, but only if it can't be turned off or has a random trigger that makes it turn on unexpectedly.
Matt Streit
I vote for longhorns for the front of the car!
Fred Dery
Thanks Matt!
Ruari Yeen
"a GPS system that may or may not be trying to kill them" - I guess you can't legally say "Apple Maps"
Mackenzie Dunaway
Let’s goo!! Excited for a book tour!
Joel Denning
Car seat and donut hates it but Mordecai recommends it because of attributes for momentum based protections, GPS similar to the wand in the tower of a prior author so Carl immediately distrusts it, oil slick because Mario kart is awesome and neon because donut likes the look and Carl didn’t stop her in time.
waterkangaroo
VERY excited to read Operation Bounce House!! but christ Matt, this is a hell of a schedule. Please take time to rest, we'll survive
Elijah Lay
Oh, after rereading it could absolutely go both ways 🤔 (like your- nvm.)
Brianna
We’re family Carl.
Mark
I originally read it as "carseat for a sapient child" but sapient carseat sounds way better.
Darin Stahl
Where is the "All the above" option on this poll!!! I want them all!
Nathan Cutler
Yay book tour! I've lived in 4 of thr cities on your tour list. Alas, I don't even live in the US anymore. Grumble, grumble. Jealous of everyone who can attend!
Mark
Oh hell yes, a signing in Tempe! Also, I was really hoping "Panini Press" was one of the vehicle upgrade options.
Alice W
DC! Looks like Im taking off that Monday- Best Birthday ever!
Danielle Black
Hey! Why no stops in Canada?
Ted Arnold
Tell me more, tell me more! Like does he have a car?
Joshua Galaise
I didnt think of those! I second the truck nuts
Paul Jones
My brother and I once thought of a GPS that would intentionally give wrong directions, give right directions too late, or make last second corrections "turn right. Ope, sorry, I meant the next one." All this to say, please use our name for the product. G.P.Mess.
waterkangaroo
Carl baby WHAT is going on with your hair in those panels
Matthew S
Sapient car seat sounds super fucking annoying
Geri Lynn Myers
So excited to see Matt in St. Louis again!!
Matt D
I honestly have no idea, but I should have all the info soon.
Kelli
Most likely the main flagship store on Northwest Highway. It’s HUGE and I can’t imagine any other HPB would be large enough to host.
Elijah Lay
I think a sapient carseat would be great; it lets the reader learn more about sapient items since Carl knows so little from the cookbook, and it gives another layer of protection to Donut. Though, what's her constitution and strength at now? The damn carseat better be made of vibranium lol
Dan
They definitely would win.
Kelli
My first thought too! But where are the truck nuts??
Dan Powell
Seconded
Greg310
Another fun idea would be a trailer of like, those little kiddie train cars like you see behind a tractor. https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d0/92/31/d09231e3d9d22a4aec10c968b53552a3.jpg And you could have goblin machine gunners in them, or sluggalos or something.
Jen DuBay
You 100% KNOW it would. Hands down 🤣 Love this series. Thank you so much for all you hard work !!
Maemi
Will the underglow lights be...purple? I mean, I feel like Donut has watched a Fast & the Furious...or 10.
Jacqueline Roscher
OMG! Just noticed the Seattle University book signing!!! I will be there fan girling hardcore 😆
Ed
Neon light... why limit to THAT noble gas? You can make lights with all the noble gasses ... except Astatine, named after the Greek word ἄστατος for DANGEROUSLY UNSTABLE. Only Francium is more unstable. But hey, advanced science, maybe they can stabilize it and it's way cooler than Neon. Or heck... it could be Oganesson, the last noble gas, element 118. None of these choices seems to point to biological add-ons.
Allyson Gangl
I was hoping for Nashville or Atlanta truthfully 😅
Daniel Hanson
I think it would make sense for Carl and Donut to end up last when they stop to help someone or focus on a plan to save everyone rather than themselves. Also, I'm sure Penguin books wants to send you to Paris on your book tour, I can't be the only person reading in Paris 🤣. They probably don't distribute to France, though...
Christopher Anselmi
I need to know if whiskey jack is a reference to another book or if it's just a coincidence 🤔 (it's also a bird so there's that possibility as well)
Christine Brown
I laughed so loud my kid asked me what and she's six, so I can't tell her I'm laughing about eating and wearing a bald eagle...
Chelsea K.
I thought the same thing! She’s a cat. Cats love tassles. End of story.
Jarrett Glass
I was so hoping to see Raleigh on the list. Alas!
Matt Bleakley
If someone gets the neon underglow, does Donut get to DJ a rave like Paris Hilton?
Raul Alvarez
Perfect thank you!!! Keep doing what you do!!!!
Nick Cottrell
Amazing as always, Matt. You're the voice of our generation... the word voice not the voice voice, the voice voice is jeff. Hes the voice voice of our generation. Ahhh man i love words, they can be so much fun.
Craig Carey
Matt, remember to focus on you too. We can wait a bit for the chapters. We do have the audiobook to look forward too, and the new book. You have been cranking the material out the past few months!!!!
Thaanos
I stopped playing Baldurs Gate to read this. I made the right choice! Now come uo to Canada! We want to see you in Toronto. I'll even get you some poutine!
Es
Not you, you have to scroll further down and you'll see them
Beth Brookshire
Thanks for the update! No apologies necessary, we can always reread/listen. Keep being awesome!
Chris
Which HPB will you be at in Dallas? It looks like there are two, and I’m certainly going to make the drive up from Austin!
Jacqueline Roscher
Keep doing what you’re doing. We appreciate you! So excited for Bremerton!!!
Douglas Erdman
I like GPS suggestion, but it might come out too much like the dungeon AI. The mudflaps shouldn't just be an alien girl, but the animated alien hula soother from Quasar's tie.
L P
Damn...I just loved that ad, CANNOT WAIT for the audio book! I can hear it already 🤤
Michael Hawkins
Matt I was just kidding on reddit. We're not really addicts...
DB
If y'all think Donut wouldn't instantly choose tassels I have some bad news for you all. And Matt, please don't feel bad about not updating the patron, I'm here to support if we get a chapter a week or a chapter a year. Just keep kicking ass.
Greg310
Btw I am not a fan of these at all IRL, its incredibly dumb. But I think it would be great for the story.
Alys A
No worries about the graphic novel, I had pre-ordered and I'll happy put in a new pre-order when it's ready. The art looks great!
Nuuh Ali
Mate you should come to Minnesota
Rebecca Newsome
Matt, you are the best. Appreciate you as well.
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
A literal LOL at "Nothing compensates for a person’s inadequacies more, both physical and moral, than being an audiobook narrator." :)
Matt D
I believe it'll be the same one as before.
Greg310
For the poll, how about a 'rolling coal' engine mod. That would be hilarious. The smoke might present a choking hazard or cover them in soot, but also potentially act as a deterrent against people following them. But it also might make their location obvious from afar. Lots of possibilities.
Matt D
HAHA I was actually thinking that, but I was too afraid it would win.
Michael Turner
do we send feet pics in thanks?
Matt D
Each one is different. Some bookstores have rules. Each bookstore will have info on their event page, but none will be up yet except that very first one.
Andie Newman
as an eye reader and not an ear reader it’s fun to see these ads from the audiobooks! i had no idea they were a thing. it’s funny
Dave Bunce
Tbh all of these are great options that I would love to see used
Re Siegel
Thank you so much!!
Trileya duVain
We talking the Powell’s in downtown Portland or the Powell’s in Beaverton on May 13? Either way, here’s hoping they prep for a BIG crowd (b/c last time was standing room only and it was pretty awesome but you must’ve been there til after midnight doing signings).
Allyson Gangl
MATT PLEASE COME TO THE SOUTH Edit: Miami does NOT count.
Michael Fannon
I was hoping for some celestial 20 sided fuzzy dice that have random effects (ie benders game) that cause pure chaos each time by randomly triggering a "helpful" transformation to their vehicle
Edward Ellis
I think if they don't get to pick their upgrade it should just be a random gaudy cosmetic item. Stupid wheels, stupid spoilers, stupid lights, etc etc
Christine Brown
No apologies needed!
Levi
Holy hell! No apologies needed my guy! Thanks for the update!!
Raul Alvarez
As ive never been to one of these launch events, do we have to buy tickets? or do we just show up?!!
Jim Bowen
Why you asking this Matt? Write what you feel! Fans? Nope!
Jen DuBay
Matt. Hold up. I'm actually morally offended. The truck nuts are not an option for the poll !! I can get/ jk 🤣
Klaus Alexander
The Portland Powells, is that the big one downtown or the one you went to recently?
Nancy E
Come to Australia!
Ranen
I don’t patreon carl, I patreon Matt. Do your thing.
Immortal R.C.
I hope the car seat or the GPS win
Shane
Portland on my F’in birthday!!! Yes! It just keeps getting better!!🤩🤩🤩
Erica Murphy
You’ll be in DC 2 days after my bday. I know what I’ll be asking for.
granndfunk
I picked the car seat and GPS because I think it would be hilarious to have the car seat trying to protect Donut while the GPS tries to kill them
cinnibar ..
The upgrade is a no brainer : if mechanical, it gets wheels/etc replaced with human feet. If biological, again, human feet.
Binipped
Awesome! Quick question: Is it just me is their images missing/not loading, like right under the storyboard/webtoon section?
Justin Rogers
FINALLY
