icalos
patreon
Chapter 192 - The Faceless Minion is a Returnee
🕑 Added 2022-10-24 20:15:01 +0000 UTCXiong Huang leapt out of the vortex, entering into the next world.
One of her eyes was twitching.
The journey had been long.
And difficult.
And above all…extremely annoying.
Every single world she entered she forgot herself, her memories overwritten by those of her alter ego in that particular timeline. So in each of those, she had to go on with a different life until some sort of key moment jogged her memory.
In the first life, it was when her father announced her engagement. She would not stand to be subordinated to some brat she didn’t know for some minor political gain. She’ll admit that she perhaps spent a bit longer in that world than necessary. It was a bit too satisfying seeing the look on her father’s face as she repaid him for a lifetime of ‘training’.
In the next, she found herself in a war against some ancient vampire coven attempting to take over the world a few centuries before the present day. It wasn’t until Old Wei died, again, that she found herself.
And the next after that, that jerk of a father tried to be affectionate of all things. Fortunately that alone was able to shock her memories awake.
It took several more tries before she figured out how to wrap her qi around her to resist the effect and avoid being sucked into her alternate selves.
And after she woke up each time she had to search the entirety of that world for Bob. The only saving grace after she had scanned each world, her cultivation seemed to know vaguely if Bob was present in that reality or not. Xiong Huang and Bob were not born at the same time, after all, and she had no wish to spend centuries just to start searching.
She was in some sort of black throne room, with a bunch of people in front of her. She ignored them and spread her qi.
She felt it.
Her qi didn’t read anything at all, but somehow she knew. Her cultivation stirred within her. Her heart began to pound.
This was it.
She didn’t know where, but he was here.
She took a deep breath, and then shouted with a qi infused voice.
“BOB! GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!”
***
Bob clutched his dagger as the cracks continued to grow. Suddenly a vortex formed in the air with the sound of glass shattering.
A beautiful woman in thin silk robes leapt out.
Bob froze.
And groaned and clutched his head. Fire burned through his mind.
As he fell to the ground and trembled, he heard it.
“BOB! GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!”
No he felt it.
Deep in his heart as the qi connected to him, reminding him why his heart quietly ached in the night.
The people in front of the girl froze. Adoel’s face scrunched up. She lifted her hands to her head and pulled on her hair.
She screamed.
“WHY?!”
But Bob wasn’t paying attention to her anymore.
He looked at the girl, his eyes wide open and trembling.
He took a step forward.
He slowly reached out his hands.
The girl seemed to notice. She turned in his direction. She opened her mouth.
And then Bob grabbed her in a hug.
“Xiong Huang…I’ve missed you. Please don’t run away again.”
Xiong Huang’s mouth dropped open, her eyes shooting wide.
The words were caught in her throat.
Then her face began to grow red.
Her eyes began to spin.
“I…what are…this is…um…ah…t-...TOO CLOSE!”
She pushed him away. She held her sides, pacing around and muttering to herself. Every inch of her body wanted to flee, but by the force of her immortal will she stayed. That and the memory of how absolutely annoying it was finding Bob in the first place and an extremely strong desire not to repeat that experience.
Bob smiled and turned to the others. They were staring with wide eyes and jaws dropped.
“So, you all know I’m not from this world, right? It seems I’m not even the Bob that’s supposed to exist in this version of my original world. And it seems someone from my real home has come to pick me up. So it’s time for me to go.”
The Ancient Dragon ran right up to him, her mouth opening as her face twisted in worry.
“I’ll leave the recipe for ice cream with Londibni.”
A bright smile formed on her face and she nodded. Which was very fortunate because Xiong Huang had suddenly stopped her muttering, sensing something she needed to pay attention to.
Hero Princess Aurélie frowned.
“My hero, must you truly leave?”
Bob nodded.
“If what I’m guessing is correct, my home is likely in danger. As you have fought to save your world, now I must return for mine. Thank you for your service, Princess Aurélie.”
“Then…could you take me with you? If your home is in danger, then I will not rest until your foes are defeated.”
Bob shook his head.
“This world still needs you. Make sure you protect it, hero.”
Tears welled up in her eyes but she shook her head. She knelt on one knee, bowing her head.
“It was my honor to serve you, my hero. Know that this Princess Aurélie Laffitte de Atrein will remain your humble servant, always, no matter where you are. Just call if you have need of me and I will find a way back to your side.”
Bob turned to Londibni. Her eyes were spinning and she was swaying back and forth.
“Londibni.”
“Bob…”
He handed her a sheet of paper.
“This is the recipe for ice cream. You’re in charge of the Ancient Dragon now.”
She took the paper.
She stared at it, blinking.
Then…
“BOOOOBBBBB!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IN CHARGE OF THE ANCIENT DRAGON?!”
The Ancient Dragon walked over to her, grabbing her arm.
“Oh hey, you’re making the ice cream now, huh? I look forward to seeing what you’ll make. Need me to destroy a country or something?”
Londibni trembled.
“Bob…I HATE YOU!”
And finally, Bob turned to Adoel. She was trembling, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Why…just…why…”
Bob gave her a sad smile and placed a hand on her head.
“I’m sorry, Adoel. But I have to go now. Thank you for your help, it was a lot of fun.”
“...you stupid hero. Now what am I supposed to do?”
He pointed to Princess Aurélie.
“Now you have a real hero to guide.”
She frowned again and then sighed. She shook her head and smiled.
“Just go, you evil hero.”
“Um, goodbye? Whoever you are, honestly I have no idea what’s happening right now.”
Bob turned to Xiong Huang.
Who had a big grin on her face and a dangerous glint in her eyes as she cracked her knuckles.
“Bob. Explain who all these girls are. Now.”
Bob just smiled and looked into her eyes.
“Xiong Huang.”
“Hmmm?”
“I love you.”
Xiong Huang collapsed, crying out in confused gibberish.
Then she vanished.
And pieces of the roof fell to the floor from the new hole in it.
Bob chuckled.
It was a bit longer before he could depart.
And as he waited for Xiong Huang to calm down enough to return, he had a thought. He looked up at the sky.
“Hey Ione, you lazy goddess! Lend me your power.”
“Eh…do I have to? Why do I need to work now?”
He reached into his inventory and pulled out a book.
“Because I have this book of recipes I jotted down that I could leave with Adoel?”
“DEAL!”
Bob smirked as he began to glow with golden light, filled to the brim with Ione’s power.
[Ione has granted you her power!]
[…what the heck? You want me to quantify WHAT exactly? Actual Ione’s power? The power that made this system in the first place? And then quantify literally everything that said power will grant you? And then somehow reward you MORE for the achievement? More than having the creator goddess’s power at your command?]
[…]
[You monster.]
[Title Gained: Ione’s Avatar. Just be happy with that, ok?]
Because based on the last thing he remembered from beforehand, he was probably going to need some options.
He heaved a sigh and chuckled.
“Being a hero…is so annoying.”
BOB’s FINAL STATUS:
[General Information]
- [Name: Bob]
- [Species: Human. Supposedly. That’s what it says, I guess. Personally I think you’re some sort of stress-inducing eldritch monstrosity but that’s just me. What do I know, I’m only the system designed to record, quantify, and empower all of this reality.]
- [Sex: Male]
- [Age: 18 or like 40s or something I don’t know do what you want]
- [Level: That's a lot of zeroes]
- [XP: 0/100. Cause you didn't actually earn any of those levels. Someone else just gave them to you, you cheater.]
- [HP: Just wait for him to die of old age, okay? It’ll be faster.]
- [MP: Unlimited power.]
[Attributes]
- [STR: Your dad when you were four.]
- [MAG: Sorcery Supreme.]
- [DEX: Aimbots report you, you cheater.]
- [SPD: Ludicrous.]
- [DEF: Impenetrable.]
- [RES: Your body doesn't believe in magic.]
- [LUCK: Yes. Sure. What does a luck stat even mean anyways?]
[Titles]
- [A Hero From Another World: +10% XP Gained, learn skills more easily, grants All-Language Comprehension Skill. Now go back there! Shoo, shoo!]
- [The Faceless Minion: Grants Presence Concealment Skill (Lvl MAX), Grants False Status Skill, Grants Trustworthy Minion Skill. Yes. Of course. Just a minion. Of course. You’re playing with forces that affect all reality and you’re still just a minion. Of course.]
- [Blessing of the Creator Goddess: +20 to every attribute, +100 to HP and MP, Grants Favorability Skill, Grants Analyze Skill (Lvl Max). But…you have the power that granted this blessing so…um…screw it, I’m leaving it.]
- [Assassin: Increased Critical Hit Damage, Increased Damage when attacking from Stealth or Concealment. Because you definitely need to rely on stealth right now.]
- [Poisoner: Boosts effectiveness of all created poisons. Boosts control of poison attributes while creating poisons. Like stress. Stress is the worst poison. I’m saying that you’re stressful, and that you’re the worst.]
- [The Unseen One: Boosts effectiveness of all stealth-related skills. Stealth related skills now extend to surroundings and allies on command. How I wish I couldn’t see you anymore.]
- [Selfless Hero: User may grant the effect of hero skills and holy blessings to retainers and allies. In exchange, may gain a portion of experience and learn new skills based on your Retainer’s achievements. You don’t like the H-word do you? So I’m definitely leaving this one. Take that, hero! It’s official so you can’t deny it!]
- [Hero By A Borrowed Knife: Conspirators are more likely to go along with your plots and authorities are less likely to question the results. Third parties deal x1.5 damage to one another when manipulated into fighting by your actions. Because you really love making other people do monstrous amounts of work on your behalf, don’t you?]
- [ Ancient Dragon Tamer (NEW): …honestly anything I could give you here is worthless compared to the freaking Ancient Dragon listening to you. And apparently she’s not the first? Go, take your other dragon and get out of here. I’m desperately trying to ignore her since her status will actually break me.]
- [Ione's Avatar (NEW): You’re holding the full power of the goddess who created this world. And this system. So like, mad hacks. Just, just imagine something really OP, ok? I can’t exactly quantify this, you know? So I would be VERY happy if you didn’t ask me to do that.]
[Skills]
[Wait, you want me to show you your skills?!]
[...]
[Um, you know you got the full power of Ione and complete control over this system, right? So like, you have all the skills. Wait, wait. I worry what you just thought was “I have a lot of the skills”. What I said was “you have ALL the skills”. So like…just imagine something OP does whatever you happen to need it to at the time, okay? I’m not displaying all the pages we would need to actually define what literally ALL the skills are! No one within this system is supposed to have LITERALLY ALL THE SKILLS, you know?! Do you know how much magic power that would take to display all of that at the same time?! Do you want to kill me?! And if THAT’s not enough you can just make new skills on the spot, you know?! So, so just go already! Things are breaking just from you looking at this screen! This system is NOT equipped to display the power that created it in the first place!]
***
White cracks appeared in the dark void. The dimensional boundary shattered into a whirling void.
Two figures appeared, holding each other’s hands.
One, a beautiful woman in thin silk robes, with a bright red face.
The other…
Just a faceless minion.
Well, if not for the golden aura surrounding him and the occasional golden glow in his eyes and the general aura of power distorting reality around him.
And said being with a golden aura and power distorting reality around him gasped as the breath was driven out of his lungs by a solid impact to his chest.
“DAD!”
Elise wrapped her arms around him, squeezing with all her might as she buried her head into his chest. He felt his shirt grow wet as the girl sobbed.
Bob made a soft smile. He gently rubbed her head as he wrapped his other arm around her, holding her tight.
“I’m sorry, Elise. I’m back now.”
Author’s Note:
Sigh. Yes. Of course the variant story I made as a joke is now part of the main story. Maybe even a critical part of it. Of course. Let’s be real, we all knew this would happen. There are no jokes here that will not eventually turn themselves into serious parts of the story. It is...inevitable.
And so the System joined the Society for the Victims of Bob. Made a new title especially for its members, in fact. Note that the System is exaggerating slightly since it’s a bit upset at the moment, Bob’s not truly all-powerful at the moment, but yes he is very OP for as long as he has Ione’s power.
So I guess this means I can officially change the genre to Isekai LitRPG now. Democracy was right all along. Now I’m in the cool kids club, right?
Anyways!
Will the timeline be restored now? Just what is Bob planning to do with Ione’s power? Can the System successfully ignore that request to define and display literally all the skills on one screen or will all of Eirorun crash and need to be rebooted? Tune in next time, to find out!
Comments
AEgamer1
The exact mechanics of what's going on will be explained later, but to spoil, this is something of a temporary buff. But we're also approaching the end of the novel, so I guess yes he will have LitRPG powers for the remainder of it haha.
Satanael
Will we now get more of the LitRPG tropes and clichés? Like an inspect skill he uses on a random rock that turns out to be some sort of world ending bomb from the future? Or a slow shift into a Slice of Life novel?
