AlexanderBishop
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Imp-erator — Chapter 2
🕑 Added 2025-07-01 23:31:59 +0000 UTCI sat on the lavish armchair, staring intently at the floating window. Professions were crucial to min-maxing a character in the game, but things seemed to work a little differently with this ‘system’.
The biggest thing? I couldn’t see any of the gathering professions, which, okay, made sense. This wasn’t a game—even if circumstances tempted me to think otherwise—so I’d have to gather materials the old-fashioned way. I could live with that.
I sank deeper into the chair with a sigh and scrolled back to the top of the page. This was another weird thing. In the game, you had to walk up to specific trainers to learn a profession, but here? I already had all the icons showing up in my profession tab.
Which technically meant that I knew all of them. But…
Focusing on the familiar-looking icon, I brought up another window, mouth quirking wryly.
Jewelcrafting. [0/???]
The rest of the page was as barren as my field of fucks after spending a few hours in a world without indoor plumbing.
Absolutely zero fucking recipes.
So, I could theoretically learn anything from any of these professions, though I had to figure it out on my own through trial and error.
Another sigh escaped me. Great…
Guess I had to focus on two or three professions at most, else I’d be spreading myself too thin to progress quickly enough in any of them. Jewelcrafting and Enchanting, I’d say. Magical bling was a must have for any self-respecting Warlocks, and Enchanting was plain bullshit at the higher levels.
Hopefully, getting the recipes wouldn’t be too much of a pain in the ass. Enchanting, I could understand being a headache. All magical mumbo jumbo and weird stuff. But Jewelcrafting? That was just making shinies to bling yourself up like a pimp.
Making a ring shouldn’t be that hard. Just shape some metal, add a gem, and presto. If this was anything like the game, copper should be the first on the menu. Copper wire for the basic stuff. Then, bronze setting. Filigrees and shit—
I paused, something on the floating window catching my eye. The same window that was empty mere moments ago, except now it wasn’t anymore. A single entry stood at the very top, written in fancy, fantasy script.
Copper wire.
I stared for a moment longer, blinking owlishly.
Oh.
Oh.
A smile came to my face. Okay… maybe this wouldn’t be that hard.
Aight, so, what about a copper ring? That should be just copper wire and some finger action. Easy peasy, gimme recipe.
I stared at the floating screen, waiting. And waited…
And nothing happened.
Okay, fine. Guess I had to craft something successfully to get a recipe. Trial and a lot of error. Got it.
Sighing, I dismissed the window. I probably also needed some tools to cut and polish the gems. And whatever thingamajigs I needed to shape and put together all the stuff where basic finger action would fall short.
But I could worry about that another day.
I took a glance at the bed, studying it for a moment, only to snort and shake my head. Nope, not happening. My mind was awhirl with thoughts that buzzed in my head like an angry beehive, excitement coiling in my stomach like a python. I knew this feeling all too well, and I wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon.
I mean, what self respecting gamer went to sleep right after character creation at the start of a new server? I had to get a leg up on the competition, or my game experience would be utterly ruined.
Sitting up from my comfy chair, I fished out my phone, opened up the inventory, and stashed the useless brick in my backpack. Until I figured out electricity, it would stay there. I also had to find some extra bags—those sixteen slots weren’t going to last me forever—but that wasn’t important right now.
I had to grind some levels. Warlocks played the game on easy mode, and who needed sleep anyway? I didn’t. I needed xp.
My stomach churned in excitement as I idly checked my Spellbook. I couldn’t wait to set some shit on fire.
But first…
I walked to the door, slowly opening it and peeking in the dark hallway. Smiling, I stepped out and made my way further down the hall, lightly knocking on the wooden door in front of me.
The three stooges were probably a lost cause, but the Shield Bro needed a heads-up. I wasn’t going to let him go in this blindly. Canon could choke on a twelve-inch demon dick. Warlocks were natural born rascals.
There was a shuffling of feet on the other side and then silence. Really?
“Room service, sir,” I spoke into the door, voice loud enough to carry and in the most obnoxious Indian accent I could muster.
Moments later, the door finally creaked open, Naofumi peeking through the gap like a surly cat woken up from its nap.
“Ah, it’s you.” Nice to see you, too, buddy.
A snort escaped me as he fully opened the door. “What were you expecting? A sexy, older maid with glasses?” I certainly wouldn’t mind one, but maybe not today. Today was the day for gains.
A flash of something crossed his face as he averted his eyes. Oh? Did Shield Bro have a type? Then again, who didn’t have a fantasy about the hot maid archetype at some point in their lives?
My mouth twitched with a teasing smile. “Don’t worry, Shieldmeister. This castle has plenty of hot maids to pick from.” Or so I hoped.
I mean, this was a huge medieval castle. They’d need an army of servants to clean it. I would be surprised if most of them weren’t female.
Naofumi let out a quiet sigh, trying to look affronted, despite how the tips of his ears were coloring in embarrassment. “You gonna come in or what?”
Man, this guy was like a whole different person before those Diddy allegations. I low-key liked him more like this. Red-pilled Naofumi was kinda edgy. And that was coming from the guy with all the fire and demons.
“Sure,” I said, walking inside as he closed the door behind me. “I actually dropped by to give you a heads up.”
Naofumi’s room was almost identical to mine, save for the slightly different furniture arrangement.
“A heads up?” he asked, brow furrowing slightly as he perked up. “About what?”
I walked up to one of the chairs and took a seat, Naofumi going all the way to his bed and plopping himself down, shoulders tense and posture oddly stiff. Was he seriously afraid of me?
“I heard some interesting stuff while wandering around.” Utter bullshit, but who was going to prove otherwise?
“And you came to tell me?” he said, a strange note in his tone as he eyed me warily.
The three stooges came from much different Earths, but this guy picked up nearly all of my references so far. He knew.
“Yeah, but before that,” I pointed a finger at him, smiling cheekily. “You know where my power comes from, don’t you? That’s why you’re so tense.”
Naofumi went still, eyes widening, though did not say anything. After a few awkward moments of silence, he finally found his voice. “Is it really the same power?”
“Didn’t you feel those bad juju vibes when I showed them the Shadow Bolt?”
“I did, but…” he shook his head. “This is way too crazy…”
I shrugged. “It is what it is.” It didn’t feel unpleasant on my end, so the ‘system’ likely had my back in that regard. I didn’t have to worry about getting diddled by the Void Lords. Or maybe not until I stepped foot in the WoW-verse, which would be fine. I wasn’t too keen on visiting that place, even though the thought of clapping some dark ranger and draenei cheeks tempted me a little.
“Shouldn’t you be more concerned? I know the lore. That power is way too dangerous to—
“Dude, chill.” I held up a hand, giving Shield Bro a reassuring smile. “I’m not gonna summon demons and shit. I’m not stupid. The Burning Legion is like ten times worse than whatever Waves these guys are fighting.”
Which was honestly disappointing. I couldn’t play my favorite build because it would open the path to Apocalypse 2: Electric Boogaloo. Fucking lame.
He didn’t look like he fully believed me, but whatever. He’d come around eventually.
“Wanna go grind some levels?” I flashed Naofumi a chipper smile, getting a confused blink in return.
“What?”
Excitement coiled anew in my stomach as I sprang to my feet, gesturing with my thumb at the window. “Let’s go kill some monsters. I wanna get level fifteen at least.”
Naofumi kept staring, face utterly blank. “Have you checked the time?”
Eh. I shrugged. Wasn’t even midnight yet.
My smile widened. “That means there’s less competition.”
“Are you serious?”
“Totally.” I nodded, pausing as I remembered the actual reason why I came here. “By the way,” I said, voice lowering. “You should fly solo for now and look for trustworthy companions on your own.”
Naofumi blinked at the abrupt shift in mood, brows furrowing. “Why?”
I looked him in the eye for a moment, before sighing. May as well rip the band aid off and get done with it.
“I’ve snooped around a little, and it turns out that this place isn’t exactly a fan of the shield hero.”
A beat of silence passed as he digested the words, his frown deepening. “What do you mean?”
“Their religion is the church of the three heroes. That should tell you enough,” I said, drawing a grimace from him. “Also, this kingdom was at war in the past with another nation who worships the shield hero.”
“What?” A flash of disbelief crossed his face. “Then why did they summon me? Even the king seemed to have a problem with me.”
“Who knows.” I shrugged. “Maybe that’s how the summoning spell works? Or maybe there’s a conspiracy going in the background? We can only guess.”
Naofumi stood up with a sigh, briefly eyeing the door. “That’s a lot to take in.”
“You have plenty of time to digest everything while we murder the local fauna,” I said with a shrug, and he frowned, giving me an odd look.
“You’re really stubborn.”
“Yeah, but, come on, man.” I gave him a knowing look, mouth twitching with a smile. “Don’t act like you don’t wanna start the grind early and get a leg up on those three stooges. I bet they made fun of you for not even having a weapon.”
The last part gave him pause, frown deepening. He went silent, mulling it over, before shaking his head as he let out a deep, long-suffering sigh, the corner of his lips curling in exasperation. “Fine. Let’s go.”
Hell yeah.
Naofumi grabbed his jacket from a nearby chair, and then we finally left, lapsing into silence as we sneaked through the quiet castle. Shield Bro looked like he was starting to get second thoughts as we crossed the first hallway, but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
This lame ass JRPG world was not ready for the fat bitch-breaker of Blizzard’s golden moneymaker and all the filthy, sweaty hax that it could bring to bear.
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Naofumi watched his feet as he stepped through the large archway, the light from the braziers behind him growing dimmer with each step.
What the hell was he even doing? He should be sleeping at this hour, get enough rest for tomorrow’s adventure, not wander outside with Satan Junior.
Naofumi fought down a grimace. Okay, maybe that was uncalled for, but this guy had Warlock powers, and that was bad. Like a walking apocalypse waiting to happen.
Maybe he was being too paranoid, or not giving Alex enough credit, but this could go wrong in so many ways…
“You don’t look very enthusiastic.”
Naofumi pushed those thoughts away, glancing to his right. “I was just thinking.” He shrugged. “I can’t believe those guards bought that.”
“I used to work in healthcare.” Alex smirked. “I know how to bullshit people.”
Naofumi stared flatly as his companion chuckled. That joke was in poor taste. He opened his mouth, only to close it after a moment, looking away as they lapsed into silence.
The castle town came into sight as they crossed the long bridge, only a few scattered lights dotting the place. Normal people were getting into bed at this hour, not wandering outside into the night.
His mouth twitched with a suppressed smile as a flash of excitement stirred in his stomach. Okay, maybe he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t at least a little excited to get some levels.
A sudden rustling noise nearly made him jump, his head swiveling around, only to find nothing. He threw Alex a sideways glance, but the guy didn’t seem the tiniest bit concerned.
“You were joking earlier, right?”
Alex gave him a curious glance, brow quirked. “About what?”
Naofumi kept his gaze trained up ahead, trying to ignore the unnerving darkness and the eerie quiet all around them.
“About that shadow assassin thing.”
Alex let out a quiet, unsettling hum, and Naofumi’s stomach did a nervous flip. “No, there’s totally some high-level assassin tailing us right now.”
Naofumi nearly missed a step, a shiver crawling up his spine. “Wh-what?”
No way… right?
“Think, bro,” Alex said, tapping a finger to the side of his head. “You’re in a medieval fantasy with spells ‘n shit. Of course there’s a secret assassin order that does the queen’s bidding.”
The queen?
“Don’t you mean the king?”
“Melromarc is a matriarchy.”
Saywhat.
“You read that in a book, too?” Naofumi said, voice dry as he tried to ignore the eerie rustling of leaves. This guy had to be exaggerating.
“No, I talked to people.” Alex smirked cheekily, only to pause, as if just remembering something. “Well, I guess the church could have its own assassins, too.”
Naofumi gave his companion a skeptical glance. This was getting silly. “The church?” Really? That sounded way too crazy.
“It’s a common fantasy trope.”
No, it wasn’t. What kind of books did this guy read?
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Level up.
Naofumi ignored the message, looking warily at the melting pile of rubber in front of him. These balloon monsters smelled awful when burnt, but Alex didn’t seem to care much about such things.
The guy looked like he was having the time of his life, smiling creepily while surrounded by burning remains, the flickering tongues of flame casting an eerie glow that made this whole scene feel like ripped straight out of a horror movie.
Jesus…
Scrunching up his nose at the horrid smell, Naofumi looked around, the grassy plains suspiciously empty around them.
Did this guy seriously burn every single balloon in sight?
Summoning a flame atop his hand, Alex spun on his feet, whistling a jaunty tune that ratcheted up the horror vibe as he marched to the tree line up ahead. “Come on, Shield Bro, the night is still young!”
Naofumi stared for a moment, lips pursed as he considered his options.
Follow the crazy pyromaniac into a forest in the middle of the night, or run away? He took another look around, the darkness turning even deeper as the only source of light moved farther away.
He swallowed dryly. Fuck. He was stuck here, wasn’t he?
His eyes briefly went to the status bar in the corner of his vision. Level eight already…
Sighing, he straightened his back, mustered his courage, and booked it after his crazy party member.
Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad?
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—holy shit!
Naofumi held back a manly yelp as he dodged a charging rabbit, which combusted in mid-air with a blood-curling screech. His eyes darted around the place, similarly burning corpses littering the ground while Alex stood in the middle of it all, laughing like a maniac.
This guy was nuts!
A couple more creepy rabbits burst out from a nearby bush, both jumping at Alex. He quickly set one of them on fire as he dodged, but the other proved too nimble to avoid. It bit into his arm, latching there like a Christmas ornament, but the guy didn’t as much as flinch. He grabbed the monster by the neck and yanked it away, chucking it to the side, before roasting it alive with a flick of the wrist.
Naofumi felt a shiver crawl up his spine. He glanced around cautiously, body tense as he expected more monsters to come out of the woodwork, but the crackling of dying embers was the only thing that reached his ears.
Was it over? Could they finally go back now?
“Let's keep going,” Alex spoke up as he turned around, that creepy smile still affixed to his face. “A few more levels, and we can call it a day.”
Of course not…
“Maybe you should tone it down a little? You’re going to set everything on fire at this rate.”
“Good point.” Alex nodded sagely. “We don’t have any water magic to put out a forest fire.”
Naofumi stared flatly. That was this guy’s concern?
“Don’t you, uh, need to do something about that?” Naofumi said, pointing a finger at the slightly bleeding bite mark on Alex’s arm, but the guy merely shrugged and walked deeper into the forest without a care in the world.
Definitely crazy.
Naofumi reluctantly followed, barely a minute passing before another rustle of leaves had him tense up. Two more rabbits popped out of the shrubbery to the left, and for a moment, he froze, the impulse to get between their lunge and his party member at war with the fear of getting injured.
A bone-chilling, unsettling feeling made him take a step back instead as wisps of dark energy gathered around Alex’s outstretched hand. A shadowy aura engulfed one of the rabbits, and it let out a high-pitched yelp as it off-shot its mark, turning on its tail and bolting the other way as if suddenly faced with the devil.
More darkness gathered in the warlock’s hand just as the other rabbit bit into his leg. A moment later, the monster let out an unholy screech as a shadowy haze erupted from its body, boiling around it like a dreadful aura. It fell to the ground, curling into itself as if paralyzed by agony, before suddenly bursting into flames.
The first rabbit had popped back out of the bushes it vanished into and was running straight at Alex, but before it could get anywhere close, he set it on fire with a chilling grin. Then, just to make sure, he doused the poor monster with the same affliction as it futilely rolled around on its back.
A shiver trailed up Naofumi’s spine as he watched the monsters slowly melt, the flesh sloughing off their bones like heated wax.
Eww… this was so fucked up.
Before the rabbits could die, Alex held out a hand, pointing at one of them as a sickly green light erupted from his palm, tethering him to the monster and funneling back to his palm.
Naofumi took a quick glance at the party icon, watching the rapidly recovering health bar of the madman, his stare turning flat.
Warlocks were so bullshit.
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I plopped myself on the comfy chair with a tired sigh. The late-night grind had been a fruitful endeavor, but it left me too wired to fall asleep. Setting everything on fire was pretty fun, but it came with a sort of downside. Tapping into Fel was like drinking ten energy drinks while snorting crack cocaine.
I could see why people got addicted to this stuff.
Taking another longing glance at my bed, I sank deeper into the chair and brought up my Talents page, brows climbing up slightly as I read. Some entries were different from what I remembered. Well, I never got to play the newest expansion, so maybe it included the stuff from there, too?
I shrugged and opened my Specialization page, just to make sure that I hadn’t seen it wrong when I first unlocked this stuff. And nope, it was still the same. The in-game limit didn’t exist. I could potentially learn from all three specs at the same time if the level cap was high enough, or if there wasn’t any.
Excitement coiled in my stomach as a smile pulled at my face. As if Warlocks weren’t broken enough already.
Crossing my legs, I dismissed the Spec tab and focused back on the talent tree. At level fourteen, I only had three picks from my Warlock page, so I maxed Demon Skin for that sweet extra armor and then took Burning Rush, in case I ever had to fuck off real fast.
From the Destruction page, I grabbed Conflagrate and Rain of Fire, the knowledge of these spells taking root in my mind like remembering an old story. I couldn’t wait to test them tomorrow. Having more ways to set shit on fire was always great.
My eyes went to the Demonology page, lips pursing. Summoning demons would be so cool, but… that shit had all the chances to accidentally open a path for the Burning Legion to this free real estate world. One apocalypse was enough, I’d say.
A heavy sigh escaped me. If I were some evil, amoral asshole, this would be so easy… Maybe only as a last resort ‘fuck you’ in case things ever went FUBAR?
Sighing again, I uncrossed my legs and sank deeper into the chair, nibbling at my lip in thought.
Maybe I could still get the imps? The wild ones should be safe, and even then, I had a way to dispose of them before they returned. Exploding them might not work, but turning them into soul gems should definitely—
A sudden sharp knock at the door nearly made me jump out of my skin. Who the fuck knocked at doors at three—my eyes briefly went to the ancient clock on the wall—and a half in the morning?
“Yes?” I spoke, loud enough for whoever was outside to hear, while trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice.
The door opened after a moment, revealing an older woman with brown hair and a pretty face. Her outfit reminded me of a housekeeper, but the old-school type, not the modern fetish version of a maid.
“Is everything to your liking, sir hero?” she said, her voice smooth and pleasant to the ear as she stepped inside, her feet barely making a sound on the wooden floor. “If you happen to be hungry, I can bring some fruit or whatever you wish.”
I blinked owlishly, staring at her blankly for a good moment. Fucking wot? She came here just to ask me this? Was the hero worship that bad in this country? Or was something else at play here?
“It’s fine.” I waved her off with a polite smile. “I’m good for today.”
The woman smiled back, her cheeks dimpling ever so slightly as she folded her hands in front of her apron. “Understood. But please don’t hesitate to let me know if there is anything I could help you with,” she said, her ample chest pushing against the dark fabric of her shirt as she bowed deeply with her hands clasped like that.
Our gazes met as she straightened herself, smile growing a little wider as she dragged her teeth seductively over her bottom lip.
Ah. So that’s how it was.
I wasn’t going to lie. The way the purred the last part and looked at me was enough to get a reaction. On both ends. However…
I had no idea if someone had plundered that booty before, and I was not eager to test if Drain Life could cure the clap or not. Maybe after I got myself a few extra magical insurances, just in case.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, ignoring the voice of doubt at the back of my mind as a flicker of disappointment crossed the woman’s face. “For now, I’d like to sleep, though.”
“As you wish, sir hero.” She gave another bow, thankfully, this time only a curt one with her head. If she showed me her chest straining again like that against her shirt, I was going to have a hard time going to sleep.
“I bid you a good night.” And with that, she turned around, a light sway to her hips as she made her way out of the room, footsteps just as silent and movements oddly smooth.
The woman flashed me one last smile full of hidden promise before the door obscured her face as it fell shut with a soft click. My gaze lingered there for a moment longer, imagination running wild as certain images flashed to mind. Huh…
So… either some degenerate, slutty servant girl or one of those shadow assassins. And those two weren’t even mutually exclusive. Spicy.
I glanced down at my lap, lips pursed. Maybe I should’ve taken her up on that offer. I might not get another chance anytime soon.
Whatever.
I pushed myself up with a sigh, opening my inventory and taking out a bucket of cold, river water. I stared at the clear surface, catching my grim-faced reflection. This was going to suck…
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Author’s Note: It looks like Naofumi might be getting a different kind of trauma in this timeline :V
Comments
AlexanderBishop
Agreed :D
McgiggletitsMadden23
Paladins are better.
