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The Greatest Cool — Chapter 12
🕑 Added 2025-12-05 15:59:51 +0000 UTCWe stopped at the end of the rock stairway, dry grass crunching beneath our feet. A thick layer of mist stretched everywhere around us, with dead-looking trees jutting from the ground like tombstones. The tenth floor looked a lot creepier in person than I expected.
I pushed a smile to my face, shaking off the uneasy feeling, and stretched my neck.
Orcs, imps, and bats.
I didn't expect too much out of the latter, but the orcs should be fun. Too bad we had to waste an hour fighting trash mobs just to get here. It might be worth figuring out a way to sneak past the roaming mobs or just buy one of those stink bags and—
A tremor shook the ground.
Up ahead, a large silhouette approached through the thick fog. Tall, bulky, and green, with a roided face that resembled an angry pig.
I reached for my thigh holster, grabbing a dagger.
Ravi tensed beside me, drawing his battle axe and holding it in both hands.
Beady eyes shone with malice as the orc strode towards us, each heavy step sending a slight tremor through the ground. My fingers traced the handle of my knife, anticipation building in my gut.
The monster slowed down next to a tree, meaty fingers wrapping around the trunk.
My hand blurred, launching the dagger with a flick of the wrist.
The blade flashed through the air, sinking deeply into the monster's left eye.
The orc roared in pain, ripping the tree out of the ground, soil and dust scattering everywhere. The trunk shaped itself into a large club, and the beast gripped it in both hands as it broke into a mad dash towards us.
I tensed, a frown pulling at my lips. Thick skull or small brain?
Didn't matter. He'd die just like the rest.
"Want first blood?" I shared a brief look with Ravi, who simply shook his head with a smile.
"Go for it, bruddah."
I smiled back, reaching for another knife, and broke into a run towards the monster.
The distance closed fast. Twenty meters. Fifteen. Ten.
I stepped around the charge, trying to circle behind the monster, but it spun around on a dime, that huge club sweeping towards my head. I ducked beneath the clumsy swing, the displaced air tickling my scalp. Before the orc had time to recover, I dashed behind it, carving open the back of its knee from one side to the other.
A pained screech rang in my ears as the creature folded under its own weight and collapsed to the ground with an earth-shaking thud. I sprang forth as it tried pushing itself upright and stomped on the monster's face, turning it into a piece of modern art.
The orc twitched a few times in its death throes and then went still. Dark blood pooled beneath its mulched head, seeping into the dry grass.
I pried my dagger out of the ruined eye with a disgusting squelch, cleaning the blade with a flick of the wrist.
"Nice one, bruddah!"
I looked over at the approaching Ravi, flashing him a smirk as my heart was hammered against my ribs.
"You think it tastes like bacon?"
"Probably?" He shrugged, resting his ax on his shoulder. "I think Ilta said she tried it once—"
More tremors vibrated across the ground, interrupting our brief celebration.
Soon enough, two more orcs showed up from the thick mist, this time already wielding their giant clubs. They approached a little slower than the first one, a hint of caution in their movements.
My stomach flipped in excitement. Finally some good fucking action.
I shared a look with Ravi, both of us still smiling as the monsters neared.
"I'll take left."
"Got'cha."
I bounced lightly on my feet while Ravi stood his ground, waiting for the monster to come to him. His stance was solid and confident, like a brick wall.
I wasn't so patient.
A heartbeat later, I broke into a run, throwing both daggers at the left orc. A howl of agony rang across the place as each blade sank into one of the monster's eyes, breaking its stride. It stumbled but managed to keep itself upright, thick arms bulging as it swiped that club in wide, sweeping arcs.
I dove closer, weaving around those blind, enraged swings. One of them came close enough that I felt the wind pressure against my chest. Blood pounded in my ears, a wide green pulling at my face.
Dodging another swing, I jumped atop the orc's shoulders, legs clenching tightly around its neck as my fingers dug into its ugly face.
I twisted my hips, snapping its neck with a satisfying crunch.
Fatality!
A thrill shot up my spine as the orc stumbled, and I grabbed my daggers before kicking off in a backflip. I landed in a crouch just as the beast toppled over and fell on its back, the impact sending a puff of dust into the air.
I sheathed one of the daggers, a smirk pulling at the corner of my lips.
Fucking awesome.
Bouncing lightly on my feet, I turned around, looking at Ravi and his own orc. He was easily dodging around those clumsy swings, carving gash after gash in the monster's hide, red lines crisscrossing the beast's torso. Yeah, he had it in the bag—
A flicker of movement drew my attention to the mist behind them. Another club-wielding orc emerged after a moment, charging straight towards my companion.
Shit.
I sprang forward to intercept.
Ravi belted out a warcry as he swung down at his opponent, that heavy axe splitting open the beast's head with a wet crack. He finally noticed the other orc coming from behind and yanked at his axe, only for it to barely budge, the blade stuck in bone. He let out a loud curse, dropping his weapon as he jumped away.
The giant club shattered the ground where he'd been standing, kicking up fragments of earth and dust.
An instant later, I leapt at the monster, twisting around with the momentum.
"Konoha Senpū!"
My shin met the orc's ugly mug, its head snapping back with a crunch of bone and a spurt of blood. A jolt of pain shot up my leg, barely noticeable.
Landing in a half crouch, I dove behind the beast as it swayed on its feet, dropping low and dragging my knife deeply across its left calf, splitting it open down to the bone. Dark muscle and white tendon gleamed for a second before blood welled up.
The ground shook again as the orc collapsed to a knee, and I sprang back to my feet just in time to see Ravi's large axe cleave through the monster's neck.
A spray of blood spurted from the stump as the severed head rolled on the ground, its ruined face frozen in a rictus of agony.
My heart thundered like a drum in my chest as I looked around, scanning the place. It seemed clear. Couldn't hear anything either. Just my own breathing and Ravi's heavy panting.
I turned to him, holding up a hand.
"Good job, brother."
Grinning, he gripped my hand and gave it a firm shake, his palm slick with sweat and blood.
"You too, bruzzah."
We made an awesome team.
A moment later, we pulled apart and inspected our handiwork. My eyes wandered downward, lingering on my blood-caked shin guards and leather boots.
Grimacing, I wiped my feet on the dry grass as well as I could. Maybe I should cut down on the stomping. I'd just bought these, and they already looked filthy. Blood was a bitch to clean from leather, too. And the pungent, coppery smell wasn't that great either.
I pushed that thought aside, sighing.
I turned to Ravi, who was already wrist deep in the orc's innards, fishing for that sweet magic stone. We shared a wordless look, both of us smiling and giving a brief nod.
Bacon was back on the menu.
<[]>
I gulped down from my water flask, looking around while catching my breath.
Dead orcs and imps lay scattered around in varying states of mutilation. Blood soaked into the dry grass, turning it a muddy reddish-brown. I crinkled my nose at the smell. Reminded me of a butcher's shop.
This was my least favorite part of the fight. Looting was fun, but carving up corpses to find your treasure? Not so much.
Ravi had no problem with it though. He was already cutting an orc open, wrist-deep in the innards for that magic stone.
Still, these orcs were much easier to harvest than the killer ants. The magic stone was smack dab in the middle of the chest, close enough to the surface that I could probably just pry it out bare handed. The only thing stopping me was the thought of having to clean monster gunk from under my fingernails.
I capped my flask and shoved it back inside my pack, stretching my legs a little. That pleasant burn was starting to settle in my muscles. I could keep going for a few more hours, though. Endurance really made a world of difference.
The ground shook with familiar tremors.
I tensed.
A loud voice suddenly broke the quiet. I couldn't make out what they said, but it came from somewhere in the distance.
Ravi glanced up from his orc carcass as I looked around, searching for the source.
Vague silhouettes stood out in the mist up ahead. A handful of people and half a dozen of tall, roided figures. They weren't running.
My shoulders relaxed a fraction.
Not a Pass Parade.
I shared a meaningful look with Ravi as he stood up, and nodded. He nodded back. A brief exchange between two battle brothers which needed no words.
And then we moved.
<[]>
Ouka bit back a curse as the wooden club sailed past his head, the displaced air whipping at his face. Blood pounded in his ears as he dove around the orc, swinging his axe at the back of the monster's calf.
Got you.
The sharp steel cleaved through the flesh with contemptuous ease, dark blood spraying as the orc folded under its own weight, collapsing to the ground with a heavy thud.
He leapt away from the monster, boots sliding on the dry grass. Another club smashed down on the place he'd been standing a heartbeat ago, kicking up earth and dust that stung his eyes.
He blinked it away and kept moving, his lungs burning with every breath and his arms screaming in protest. He pushed on. He'd rest when everyone was safe.
"Imps!" Takeshi's panicked shout rose from somewhere behind. "Six of 'em!"
"Yasuke!" Ouka barked out, eyes focused on the orc as he put some distance between them. "Help Takeshi!"
"Got it!"
The monster charged, each footfall shaking the ground.
He dodged another clumsy swing, then let himself flag for a moment, shoulders drooping, axe lowering.
The orc took the bait, raising its club overhead with a triumphant grunt.
Ouka smirked, jumping out of the way just as the club swung down. The earth shook at the impact, dust and soil shooting out like splinters. He spun around, swinging his axe at the monster's overextended arm, slicing it off cleanly at the wrist.
Dark blood sprayed across his face. He didn't flinch.
The beast let out an enraged yell, reaching for the club with the other arm.
He swung again, aiming for the orc's knee. The axe bit into the monster's flesh with a crunch of bone, and the beast collapsed on its side. It tried to push itself up, club dragging through the dirt, but he'd already closed in, axe raised overhead. He brought it down like a guillotine, cleaving through the orc's skull with a wet crack.
Taking a moment to catch his breath, he walked to the other crippled orc and swung his axe at the monster's ugly face, splitting its head like an overripe fruit.
A meaty thud drew his attention to the left.
Mikoto ripped her sword out of the back of a downed orc, the blade coming free with a spray of blood. She held it steadily, one foot sliding back as she faced the remaining monster, her stance perfect despite the sweat dripping down her face.
Good. She had this.
He wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand and looked over his shoulder, checking on the others.
Most of the imps were dead, their corpses scattered around the group. Yasuke and Takeshi were fighting the last three, keeping them away from Asuka and Chigusa.
An arrow flew, killing another imp.
They were all fine—
More heavy footsteps shook the earth. His stomach dropped as three more orcs came out of the fog, all of them wielding those huge landform clubs.
"More orcs!" He barked out, limbs tensing as he slipped into a stance on reflex.
Why were there so many of them?!
His grip tightened around his axe.
Should they run?
The thought echoed in his head before he quickly shoved it away.
No.
More monsters could ambush them. If this group caught up and surrounded them...
No, they could handle this. Nobody had any life-threatening injury. It was just a few orcs. They could handle it—
"Help!"
He spun around at the shout, heart lurching.
Yasuke and Takeshi stood next to Asuka and the injured Chigusa, surrounded by dead imps. They were all staring wide eyed as three more orcs appeared from the mist like hateful specters.
Shit.
His head swiveled back to the front. Mikoto was fighting her last orc, but those three fresh ones were closing in quickly.
Too late to run now.
"Mikoto! Can you do it again?!"
"Yes!" She said, leaping at the orc like a shadow, her sword flashing across its legs in a clean cut. The monster's knees buckled, and it fell. "Go help them!"
Sheathing her blade in one smooth motion, she touched a finger to her forehead and gripped her hands together in that familiar stance. An instant later, she broke into a run towards the orcs, chanting all the while, her voice steady despite her exhaustion.
Ouka spun around, running off to intercept the orcs coming from the back. His legs burned. He ignored it.
"Hey, bastards!" He shouted, brandishing his axe. "Come at me!"
Two pig heads turned in his direction, red eyes gleaming with malice. The monsters switching targets after another moment, the ground quaking as they charged. Good. Takeshi and Yasuke could handle the last one.
Ouka closed in, ducking under a clumsy swing. He dodged the follow up and dove around the orc, cleaving off its leg with a well placed strike. He leapt away a the monster fell, dodging a swing from the other one, the club whistling past his ribs.
He dashed away, putting some distance between them, and took another quick glance at the group as the orc chased after him.
Mikoto was still chanting while running circles around her targets.
Takeshi and Yasuke were holding their ground against that orc—
A flicker of movement in the corner of his vision made his stomach drop. Another orc had just come out of the mist, heading for Asuka and Chigusa. Neither of them had noticed it yet.
Shit.
"Behind you!"
The girl spun around, freezing in place for a moment, eyes wide.
"Run!"
She ran off in the opposite direction, Chigusa holding tightly to her.
Ouka's grip clenched around the shaft of his axe until his hands ached. He had to finish this one off quickly and help them—
Two more figures burst out the thick mist, sprinting towards the others. Adventurers. One of them wielding a large axe, the other unarmed, both moving fast for level ones.
A spike of cold rushed through his veins as his mind raced.
Enemies?! Pass Parade?!
He weaved around a clumsy swing, sprinting past his last orc and rushing back to the group, not letting those two out of his sight. His heart thundered against his ribs.
Nothing followed them.
They weren't even heading towards the others. Just chasing after that orc.
They caught up within seconds, both leaping at the monster in a flying kick.
"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"
They shouted in perfect sync, the words ringing across the place as their feet crashed into the orc's back, sending it flopping face-first to the ground. The axeman buried his weapon in the monster’s skull, cracking it open like an egg.
The orc went limp.
Asuka had stopped running. She was staring at the scene wide-eyed.
They came to help?
Ouka glanced behind, a spike of unease lodging in his chest. The orc that was supposed to be chasing after him was gone. Where—
"Ouka!"
His stomach dropped, eyes darting towards the voice.
Yasuke and Takeshi were running towards him, their faces tight with panic. Two orcs chased after them, snarls etched into their ugly mugs. One of them had cuts across its body and an arrow sticking from an eye, but that did little to slow it down.
Ouka broke into a run, blood pounding in his ears. A heartbeat later, a figure blurred past him, fast enough that he felt the displaced air.
The unarmed stranger.
The man covered the distance within seconds, leaping at the orc with reckless abandon. His feet struck the beast's face like a hammer blow.
There was a crunch of bone, and the orc fell to the ground. It didn't move, neck bent at an unnatural angle.
Ouka nearly stumbled at the sight, his pace flagging.
The fuck.
He broke its neck with a kick?
The other stranger caught up from behind, running at his side now, axe firmly in his grip. He was grinning like he was having the time of his life.
"Let's go, friend!"
Friend?
The half naked man ran past, bronze skin gleaming with sweat as he headed towards Takeshi and Yasuke. He charged at the orc from the side, axe flashing down as he dove by like an angry bull.
Ouka caught up just as the monster fell to a knee, burying his own axe deep in the orc's skull.
The beast twitched a couple times and then went limp.
Ouka propped his axe against the ground, using it to keep himself upright as he finally caught his breath. He looked around, his whole body shaking from exertion. A flash of movement caught his attention, eyes widening as he spotted another orc sneaking from behind the first guy.
"Watch out!"
The monster stomped forward, club raised overhead, and with an angry snarl, swung.
The guy twisted his body out of the way at the last second, a tremor shaking the ground as the large hunk of wood smashed down. Soil exploded upwards in a shower of splinters and dust.
Amidst the rising cloud, the guy leapt at the orc. His hand blurred forward in a jab, sinking into the monster's chest like a spear thrust. An instant later, he pulled it out, and the orc burst apart into wisps of dark smoke.
Ouka's jaw went slack.
In the man's hand, gripped tightly between bloodstained fingers, was a small, purple crystal. The orc's magic stone, torn straight out of its chest.
No way...
Level two?
"Great job, bruzzah!" The half-naked guy shouted while flexing in some bizarre pose, arms crossed in front of his face and muscles bulging.
Bruzzah?
The other guy flexed back, striking a pose of his own while grinning proudly at his companion.
Ouka stared at them, brows furrowed.
Who the hell were these weirdos?
"—War God's Strike!" Mikoto's voice rang across the place, cutting through his thoughts. "Futsunomitama!"
Shit! He'd forgotten about her!
He spun around just in time to see the giant ethereal sword fall in the distance, purple light flaring from a magic circle as it trapped that trio of orcs within its barrier. The gravity bore down like a physical force, bringing the monsters to their knees. A moment later, the barrier began to shrink, crushing the orcs inside into a bloody pulp.
The spell vanished in a flash of light, and Mikoto dropped to a knee with a gasp.
Ouka rushed over. "Mikoto! Are you okay?"
"Yeah..." She pulled herself up with some effort, stumbling forward before catching herself on the next step, her face pale. "Just a little dizzy."
He slowed down, giving her a stern look. "No more magic."
They should bring more mind potions next time. Mikoto was pushing herself too much with her magic.
"Understood."
Ouka looked over his shoulder, frowning. Those two weirdos were still posing. They'd moved on to a different one, both striking matching stances now, like bizarre mirror images.
He blinked owlishly, a sudden thought giving him pause.
Wasn't that the crazy guy that people kept gossiping about lately?
<[]>
I never expected to stumble across these guys in the dungeon, but this was a pleasant surprise. Most of their group was kinda bland at first glance, but Mikoto was so cool she could give me a run for my money.
Sharing a brief look with Ravi, I gestured with my chin at Ouka and Mikoto. "Let's go greet 'em."
"Sure."
Ravi sheathed his axe on his back, and we slowly made our way towards them. The annoying stickiness on my hands reminded me that I forgot something, so I pulled out my trusty blood rag, wiping the drying blood off my hands as much as I could. I probably should've done that earlier, but whatever.
"Hey." I raised a hand in greeting as we got closer, offering a friendly smile. "You guys okay?"
Aside from some scrapes and bruises, they didn't seem injured. Mikoto still looked a bit pale from pulling that stunt earlier, but she'd be good as new after popping a Mind potion. Or a nap.
Ouka looked at us warily, one hand resting on the axe propped at his side. I couldn't fault him for the paranoia. The dungeon was full of assholes.
A freckled girl with brown hair and a white cloth on her head approached from Mikoto's side, carrying Chigusa on her back. The injured girl's leg looked a little blue and swollen around the ankle. Sprained, probably.
The brown-haired girl also had what looked like a wooden staff strapped at her hip. A spellcaster, huh? Maybe she knew some cool magic?
The backpack guy and Topknot lingered some distance away, busying themselves with harvesting the corpses. They could have all these mobs. I didn't care about the loot. Money wouldn't be a problem for me anymore soon enough.
The tense silence continued for another moment.
Ouka shared a brief, wordless look with Mikoto, then sheathed his axe on his back. He took a step forward, shoulders squared, chin raised.
"We would've managed but thank you for the help anyway," he said bluntly.
My smile dimmed a little. Yeah, he was about as dry as I imagined.
"We're fine," Mikoto spoke up, bowing her head slightly, her voice crisp and firm. "Thank you for your help."
"No problem." I turned towards the samurai girl, flashing her a grin. "I saw you fight. That spell was awesome."
Mikoto was cool.
Gravity magic was peak, and those hand movements made it look like a jutsu straight out of Naruto. I'd never get bored watching her crush mobs into tiny meat cubes.
I couldn't wait to finally get some magic myself.
Mikoto's face flushed slightly, and she waved a hand in front of her. "Ah, no, it wasn't that impressive. It's just a gravity barrier, nothing on the level of what a real Mage could do."
I shook my head in amusement. This girl was a bit too humble. I'd have to dock a few cool points for that.
"I'm Jack, by the way. Vice captain of the Miach Familia."
A bit of a stretch since we only had two people, but it sounded cooler than saying I was the only other member besides Naaza.
"Kashima Ouka." The big guy nodded, expression still carved from stone. "Captain of the Takemikazuchi Familia."
"Ravi," my friend chimed in with a smile, flexing his arm a little. "Ganesha Familia."
"Yamato Mikoto." She bowed again.
Ouka gestured at the brunette girl on his right. "This is Asuka, and the girl on her back is Chigusa."
The injured girl gave a quiet "hi", her left eye peering from between her heavy, uneven bangs. She was kinda cute in that mousy way but a bit too shy.
"Hello," Asuka spoke after a moment, her voice light and smooth, and a flicker of something in her gaze that I couldn't place.
My eyes strayed downwards, briefly, before I looked away.
I've seen half-naked Amazons on the daily, but somehow, that yellow thing she wore for clothes was lewder. Those were Soi Fon levels of sideboob, and this angle wasn't hiding much.
"I haven't seen you around here. Is this your first time on the Tenth Floor?" Ouka spoke up, an eyebrow raised.
"Yeah." I said, a smile twitching on my lips. "I was kinda afraid there wouldn't be enough monsters when we started, but we've found lots of them over the past couple hours. Maybe a hundred or more."
Ravi nodded happily at my side. Guy really loved chopping things. Almost as much as I liked punching things.
Looking back at the others, I saw them giving me odd looks for some reason. Mikoto's eyes had gone wide, Asuka blinked slowly, and even Ouka's stern face cracked a little.
What?
"A hundred?" Ouka repeated, brows furrowing. "Did you use bait?"
"Nah." I shook my head. Bait was too dangerous to use out in the open like that. "They just kept coming at us." Maybe we could set some inside a pantry? "Why? Is that weird?"
Misha couldn't give us any exact numbers when I'd asked, but she said that we should expect to fight at least fifty orcs if we made our way through this floor. And the spawn rates increased the deeper you went in the dungeon, so it didn't really feel that strange.
"It's not normal at all," Ouka said, looking at me like I'd just grown a second head. "Orcs typically come in groups of two, sometimes three, but they never come in such big numbers like we just fought. Not on this floor."
Forreal?
"Isn't two or three orcs the average, though?"
"Yes. For every five to ten minutes spent walking around." He gestured vaguely at the corpses around us. "We had a dozen orcs showing up one after the other. We've never seen so many around here before."
Huh...
I shrugged. "Monster bait?" Maybe some idiot left theirs behind? Or maybe Lili pulled another stunt on some poor bastard?
Ouka shook his head. "Haven't seen any on our way here."
Huh. Weird.
"Did you do anything unusual before that pack showed up?"
"No," he grunted out, crossing his arms. "Just coming back from the eleventh floor as usual."
"We fought an Infant Dragon," Asuka chimed in, adjusting her grip on Chigusa's legs.
Ahh. That made sense.
"Maybe the dungeon didn't like that and was trying to kill you a bit harder."
Salty bitch did that stuff with me all the time.
Ouka's frown deepened, and Mikoto nodded slowly.
"Or maybe it's just bad luck," I said, shrugging. Occam's Razor and all that.
What else could it be?
Ouka hummed in thought. "Probably."
As we lapsed into silence, I noticed how Asuka kept giving me strange looks. Her eyes would flicker to my hands, then my face, then back to my hands, a question clear in her eyes.
I wasn't curious enough to ask why—
"Do you fight barehanded?" She spoke after a moment, a tinge of curiosity in her tone.
Huh. Straight to the point.
"Yeah. I got a few daggers and I might buy a weapon one day, but honestly," I held up my hands, fists clenched, smudges of dried blood staining my knuckles. "These hands are all I need."
There was a beat of silence as everyone stared at me, their expressions unreadable.
"Well said, bruddah." Ravi clapped me on the back with a grin, making my ribcage vibrate.
Asuka looked between us, mouth drawing a thoughtful line. "That kick you did looked like martial arts—"
"Not to be rude, but we should go." Ouka interrupted with all the grace of a sledgehammer. "This is not a good place to chat."
Fair point, but there were like six of us now. We could take on a dozen orcs and only break a little sweat.
"Ah, okay." The girl looked at her captain with a sheepish smile.
"Sure, man." I held out a hand in front of the big guy. "It's been cool meeting you folks."
"Same." Ravi chimed in, nodding at everyone.
Part of me was tempted to suggest walking with them to the entrance of the floor, but it wasn't that far away. They'd manage on their own. And honestly, I'd rather hunt more orcs than do an escort mission.
Ouka grabbed my hand and gave it a firm shake. "You're nicer than I thought."
A smirk twitched on my face.
Kind of a backhanded compliment, but I'd take it.
Mikoto bowed lightly at the waist. "Thank you again for your help."
"Anytime," I said, smiling. She was a bit too polite, but it was endearing in its own way. "See ya around."
Ouka walked past, the rest of his party following him as they went to help the other two guys harvest the mobs. Asuka sent me another intrigued look as she stood there, waiting for the others to finish looting.
I gave her a parting wave and then left, heading deeper into the Tenth Floor with Ravi.
She could ask me whatever she was curious about next time. Takemikazuchi was going to be friends with Miach and Hestia in the future, so we'd definitely meet these guys again. Maybe I could spar with Mikoto? That'd be fun.
For now though, I had a daily quota for cracking skulls to finish.
<[]>
I stood up from my seat, an eager smile pulling at my lips as I gestured with a hand at the table. "Behold! The greatest potion ever made."
Naaza's ears twitched. She lowered her book, arching a dainty, skeptical eyebrow from across the table. "Finally done wasting money?"
Smile widening, I held up the small vial with a theatrical flourish, giving the bubblegum-colored liquid inside a playful swirl. Light caught the surface, making it shimmer. "I call it the cat-girl potion."
There was a beat of silence, heavy and a little awkward. Naaza's expression turned utterly flat.
"You could've made something magically wondrous and unprecedented, and your first idea was to create a potion that makes someone look like a cat person?"
I looked her in the eye and nodded with all the gravitas I could muster. "Yes."
I'd thought she wasn't the type to ask dumb questions, but perhaps my utter brilliance had caused her a lapse in judgment.
Naaza brought a hand to her face, slowly rubbing at her brow as her ears flattened slightly against her head. A tired sigh escaped her. "I can't believe I waited for this."
My smile thinned.
Kinda overdramatic, but she was being a lot more expressive than usual, and that was fun to see.
Still, I'd thought she'd be a bit more excited at the reveal. Maybe she just didn't like the idea of a cat-girl transmogrifying potion because she was a dog person?
"Hey, cheer up, captain. This is the kind of big thing that'll get us out of debt by the end of the year. Trust me."
Naaza kept staring at me blankly.
"How."
I grinned. "Think about it. Who has the most money in this city?"
"...The gods."
"And what do gods love more than anything?"
Her brow furrowed. "Entertainment?"
"Exactly."
Naaza's eyes widened slightly. I could see the gears turning in her head.
"You're going to sell transformation potions to the gods."
"Yes, but not just gods." I sat back at the table, propping my head lazily on my free hand. "Imagine what would happen when the whole world hears about this."
This world had a surprising number of degenerates, even if the gods themselves were gurus among them. We'd be the Jeff Bezos of fetish cosmetics.
"That's..." Naaza paused, mouth drawing a thoughtful line. "Can you even supply that sort of demand?"
"I could make these by the cauldron if I had enough materials." Money was the only thing keeping me from abusing the hell out of my Alchemy. "And not just cat-girls. I can do it for any race, even monsters."
A flicker of excitement bubbled in my chest.
I could finally turn any girl into an Amazon. That would be glorious.
Naaza stared at the vial, gaze narrowing in thought.
"How long does it last?"
Good question.
"No idea."
"Is it safe?"
I shrugged. "Should be."
Her flat stare returned. "You haven't tested it?"
"Nope." I wagged the vial in her direction. "Wanna try it?"
"Absolutely not."
"Come on, captain. I think it tastes like fruit."
Alchemy didn't care about them icky ingredients. I could make my potions taste like whatever. All I had to do was add a bit of flavor and presto.
"No."
"I'll buy you dinner at the Hostess."
"No."
"Two dinners?"
Naaza scoffed, burying her nose back in her book, her tail swishing dismissively. "Test it yourself."
I looked at the potion, then back at her. "Aren't you curious what you'd look like as a cat person?"
"No."
No dice, huh?
A sigh escaped me. Well, it wasn't that big of a deal. I could just pay some poor rando on the street to test it.
I placed the vial back on the table, admiring my handiwork. That excited smile quickly returned to my face.
Miach Familia was so fucking back.
<[]>
Author's Note: Stat boosting potions are nice and everything, but the cat-girl potion is where the real money's at :V
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