Milk_Is_My_Drug
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Chapter 66: Azula's Reflection
🕑 Added 2025-12-08 16:00:10 +0000 UTCAzula POV
It had been three whole days since Tai Lung disappeared deep into the southern pole. Without him around, without anything to occupy me besides endless training and the occasional conversations with Ty Lee and Mai, my thoughts had turned inward, against my will.
Again and again, my mind drifted to the Day of Black Sun. The day I, princess of the Fire Nation, couldn’t bend fire for the first time in my life. My fire had vanished, and I knew it had not been mine alone. All firebenders across the world lost their bending that day. All but Tai Lung.
He had stood untouched by that cursed eclipse. He bent fire freely, effortlessly, while I felt stripped bare. According to him, it was thanks to his chakras, a concept he explained to me in detail. At the time, I decided to ignore it as mystical nonsense of a one in millennium prodigy. But the longer I thought about it, the more those words festered.
Chakras… mine were closed. Blocked. By fear, guilt, shame, grief, lies, illusions, and… earthly attachment. His words replayed in my head. And in the rare quiet moments I allowed myself, I began to ponder each of them. It didn’t take long before I reached the conclusion I hated most: he had been right.
I, who always projected perfection, cruelty and control, was shackled by these very flaws. Fear lurked in me. Guilt, shame, grief, they were there, gnawing quietly. I despised admitting it, but all of them were real. All of them were chains, holding me back from… something greater. From reaching my true potential.
Day after day, the thoughts circled like vultures. I replayed my life, every event, every choice. The more I dwelled, the more the cracks showed. I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t untouchable. I was… flawed. And it enraged me.
By the time a full week had passed since Tai Lung’s departure, I was nearly choking on my own thoughts. Seeking distraction, I walked out to the ship’s deck to train, but instead I found Ty Lee and Mai already there, standing at the railing, staring south.
I arched a brow. “It’s rare to see you at the deck in this cold.”
Ty Lee turned at once, her eyes full of worry “Hey, Azula.”
Mai didn’t bother with pleasantries. “Ty Lee is worried about Tai Lung. He’s been away for an entire week now.”
I blinked, caught off guard for only a heartbeat before giving my reply. “There’s no need to worry. He must have found something interesting and lost himself in it.” My tone was casual, dismissive, as if to will away her concern.
But Ty Lee’s face tightened. “What if something bad happened to him?”
That… I couldn’t process. The idea was absurd. My lips curled, and before I could stop myself, I laughed. I laughed loud and hard.
Ty Lee’s expression hardened into anger. “Why are you laughing? It’s not funny!”
I paused, smirking in amusement. “No, it’s hilarious. You’re afraid something bad happened to Tai Lung? He took down the Ocean Spirit and the Avatar. What else is left that could hurt him? What got into your head to think of something so silly? Grow up.”
Her eyes welled with tears, her voice hurt. “Silly? You think something happening to him is silly? He’s been gone for a whole week! Even if you’re not worried, you don’t have to be mean about it!”
I froze. Her anger, so rare, struck me harder than I expected. Even Mai turned her gaze on me, disapproval etched into her usually indifferent face.
For a few long seconds, I didn’t speak. Then, quietly, I said, “I’m sorry, Ty Lee. I didn’t mean to… It’s just unthinkable to me that Tai Lung could be hurt. I can’t understand why you’d worry about something like that. Even the Black Sun couldn’t take away his bending.”
Ty Lee’s shoulders softened, her expression easing at the sincerity in my words. She sniffled, then said, “It’s because of that that I’m worried. He’s strong, and he doesn’t shy away from challenges, not even the Ocean Spirit or the Avatar. What if he encountered a dangerous spirit? He said he was sensing some powerful chi deep in there.”
I considered her words, then shook my head. “Even if there was a spirit, I’m sure Tai Lung is completely unharmed.” I paused, folding my arms. “Don’t forget about his opened chakras and the strange powers they give him. Do you realize how hard it is to harm him? And even then… he can do some sort of light-bending to heal himself.”
I let the words hang in the air, firm and confident, though in truth they felt more like a mantra meant to convince Ty Lee.
Ty Lee wiped away her tears, giving a weak smile.
“When you put it like that,” she said softly, “I do sound silly.”
I stepped closer to them, folding my arms as if it were nothing. “I understand that you care about him, but honestly, fearing that guy is harmed is the same as fearing fish will rule the world.”
Ty Lee let out a small chuckle at that, and even Mai’s lips curved into the faintest smile.
I moved to stand beside Ty Lee, leaning casually against the edge of the deck. My eyes drifted toward the endless stretch of water and ice, though my voice was steady. “You know, I’ve been thinking about these chakras since Tai Lung explained them to me. How to unlock them. Thanks to that, I’ve begun to realize just how flawed I am. I don’t even know where to start.”
Both Ty Lee and Mai looked at me in surprise.
“I didn’t expect to hear you say that one day,” Ty Lee admitted.
I gave a short chuckle. “I didn’t expect I would say it either.”
Mai tilted her head slightly and said. “According to what you told us, you need to recognize them, then accept them and overcome them.”
I snorted softly. “Easier said than done.”
Ty Lee tilted her head thoughtfully. “Maybe you need to speak about it? Like letting it go. Like how Tai Lung was talking with that Guru.”
I fell silent, her words filled me with realization, I stood there thinking for a long moment before I finally spoke. My voice came lower, quieter, than usual. “I have always been afraid to be like Zuko. To be a failure… hated by my father. That was my greatest fear.” My head lowered, I felt heavy after saying the truth of my feeling like that.
Neither Ty Lee nor Mai said anything at first. Then Ty Lee’s voice broke the silence. “Well… you don’t need to fear that anymore, right? You know now what kind of person your father really is. His opinion doesn’t matter.”
Her words made me feel lighter. I raised my head and looked at them slowly, a small smile formed on my lips. “You’re right.”
Straightening, I looked at them both, really looked at them. “I’m sorry for all the times I’ve been mean to you. For not acting like a good friend. In truth… I’ve been jealous of the two of you.”
Their widened eyes showed their surprise, but I continued not letting them speak.
Turning to Mai, I admitted, “I was jealous that despite how cold, gloomy, and silent you are, you still managed to have friends. Even my brother liked you. Meanwhile, I was the princess… and wherever I went, I always felt all alone.”
“Azula…” Ty Lee began, but I cut her off.
“And you, Ty Lee…” My throat tightened, but I forced the words out. “I felt even more jealousy and anger toward you. You’re no firebender, and I always saw you as the girl who could do circus tricks. But everyone was attracted to you. Everyone paid you attention, while I was ignored.”
I hesitated before forcing myself to continue. “I didn’t understand what Tai Lung saw in you. And there was a time when I even tried to add oil to the fire to make you two fight. I hated that he chose you.”
Ty Lee’s eyes widened. “You… like Tai Lung?”
I shook my head firmly. “I don’t like him. Not back then, and not now. I am the princess, and I believed I deserved the best of everything. Tai Lung was the best firebender, even as a child, and it only made sense to me that he should be my partner. I take the best, and only the best. But when your face was injured because of me, I stopped having those thoughts…. Because at first, I was glad, thinking now he would leave you… but then I felt nothing but shame for having such thoughts. Since then, I never thought of Tai Lung that way again.”
At that, I bowed my head to both of them. “I’m sorry. I was a bad friend all this time, my pride and foolishness had blinded me for so many years. I won’t blame you if you decide to end our friendship. I’m not worthy of you.”
For a moment, there was silence between us. Then Ty Lee and Mai exchanged a glance. Without a word, they both moved closer and wrapped their arms around me in a firm embrace.
“You are our friend,” Ty Lee said softly against my shoulder. “And the past is the past.”
Comments
VerumSuperbia
Really enjoying how Azula’s character is changing bit by bit.
Oofster0_0
TFTC
