Luke Everhart
patreon
Chapter 99 - Losing Control
🕑 Added 2024-11-30 10:09:31 +0000 UTCNar panted in the sweltering darkness.
He breathed. He inhaled with everything that he had. But it wasn’t enough.
A weight crushed his throat.
He wanted to puke. He wanted to pass out.
He couldn’t breathe.
He couldn’t breathe!
“Use aura!” someone shouted from above. “Use more aura!”
Nar pulled on his. The pressure and boiling heat receded, and he collapsed against the ladder, breathing hard, drenched in sweat, his fingers slippery, desperately clinging onto the ladder.
Slowly, his sight returned.
Pressure was everywhere.
It had nearly crushed him.
As the exit they had miraculously taken had closed, the Pressure inside the column had shot up, and it had nearly strangled the life out of him.
It was much dimmer than on the outside, but the weight was several times heavier. Here and there, brighter clumps of orange filtered in and out of the tight walls around them, providing spots of brighter illumination to the cramped space they found themselves in.
Still trying to get his breathing under control, Nar looked behind him. The wall at his back was barely two hands breadth away from him. To say it was tight was an understatement.
“Keep climbing!” Cen’s voice drifted down. “We don’t know how much aura we have left!”
The words sounded muffled, as if blocked by the Pressure.
Rel’s foot moved one step higher, and Nar followed after her.
Cen’s call for them to keep going had sounded like something that Kur should have said, and Nar worried about how injured their party leader was. That spear of Pressure had come down right next to his leg. Nar didn’t think it had actually hit the party leader, but its effect and heat alone had been enough to bring him down and to force Tuk to carry him. Hopefully Kur was able to Climb, and was already on the mend under his HP.
Waiting for Rel to keep going, Nar glanced back down.
His heart still hammered away in his chest, and just the memory of what they had narrowly avoided sped it up even further.
His mind filled with that bright orange light that had almost been the end of him. It was yet another memory from the Climb that he would never forget.
If the exit hadn’t been so close to them…
If the giant guardian had simply reached out with his massive limbs to crushed them instead…
He shook his head.
Just climb, man. Just climb…
But it was hard not to think about it.
The hopelessness of how he had felt shook him. He had felt hopeless before, of course, but guardians, normal sized ones that is, was something he could fight. And cannibals, something he could kill as long as he wasn’t in a cage, perhaps with the exception of their boss… But that giant, hulking machine? It had even messed with his head from afar! Their only option had been to escape. There was no way of fighting that thing.
And the giant guardian hadn’t been the only insurmountable obstacle they had faced.
The Pressure wrapped, hundreds of thousands and hundreds of thousands more of guardians?
And how big had those spear shooting guardians had to be to be able to reach them across such distances?
Those flying spears had been a teaching moment to him.
Jul had called them the big ones, the guardians that shot those thick, Pressure wrapped projectiles. But Nar hadn’t actually managed to spot them, but he could imagine just how much bigger they had to be, compared to the poisoners and the bolters they had faced before.
He wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that, as it turned out, those had been the easy, baby version of ranged guardians when compared to those long, Pressure burning and sapping spear shooting machines.
But then again, had those “baby” guardians ever been easy?
In the beginning of his new path, he had struggled to block even two of those smaller bolts. But he had come through. He had proved himself on the bridges, and against every single ranged guardian except perhaps for the ones that shot explosives.
This was no different. In time, he would be strong enough to withstand as many of those spears as they shot at him. In time, they too would be nothing to him.
Perhaps, even that giant guardian would too, one day, not even be worth more than a sparing glance, if he ever truly became a Named Few…
He snorted at that.
However, was that the life that awaited him?
To constantly feel weak in the face of new and growing challenges? But when would that end? When he became a Named Few and rescued his dad? Or was there more beyond that? Was there anything beyond that highest and brightest of places that was to be a Named Few?
He paused in his climb.
Was that what he wanted?
He looked down, to the murky orange darkness he had come from.
The power to cut that thing in half… How would that feel?
A Named Few could have done it. Somehow, he had no doubt of that. It was part of his faith. Of his belief. Perhaps even an army of those things couldn’t even stop a Named Few. They were meant to be the ones right below the Crystal Almighty Itself, after all. They had to be powerful. And immensely so at that. Much, much beyond his current comprehension…
He had to hope so, at least.
That thing would be down there, waiting for him, when he returned for his dad. He would need to be strong enough to destroy it. He might just have to be strong enough to simply smash and break his way down to his dad, blowing through all and anything that tried to stand in his way.
He had known he would need strength.
Magic.
Power.
He hadn’t expected it to be easy, or fast. But the more he Climbed, the more he realized that it wasn’t an easy path that he had set himself up for.
Far from it.
It was probably one of the hardest he could’ve chosen.
But after that giant guardian, he now wondered by just how much he had underestimated his goal. And what the true cost of such power would be…
For now, though, all he could do was keep Climbing after the others.
*********
Without his UI to tell him the time, it was impossible to keep track of it.
He had a feeling they had been climbing for at least an hour, but it could have only been a few minutes.
How tall was that column anyway? Surely, they were almost there by now, no?
Then again, it had taken them long stretches of surely at least dozens of minutes to walk by those columns. And they were what, at least ten times higher than they were wide?
Nar grimaced at the fact that they were climbing up inside one of those columns.
He wondered how thick it was, and how strong. For all he knew, that giant guardian could be standing right outside of it, right next to him, at that very moment, watching him slowly progress up the ladder, debating whether to destroy the whole column with them inside it or to just let them go.
The thought of that made the back of his neck itch.
He looked up, but other than Rel, and beyond her, Gad’s feet, there was nothing to see. No indication that the end was in sight.
I hope we don’t have to sleep in here. Wait. Is that even possible?
He groaned to himself and kept climbing.
No stamina or aura to check, or HP. He was completely in the dark.
Not the best thing to think about.
But then, what should he think about?
Above him, Rel muttered to herself. Sometimes she laughed, quietly, under her breath. Sometimes she whimpered and mumbled repeated no’s.
I hope she’s alright and that the Yearning behaves, Nar thought.
Viy had already had a breakdown, and he wasn’t sure of her current mental state. She was climbing, yes, but who was to say for how long? And in this dark, enclosed space, suffocated by deadly Pressure? It wasn’t exactly the best for one’s mental health.
I wonder what in the pile is bothering her, Nar thought, grasping for anything to distract himself with.
As an Unclean, Nar was more accustomed to suffering than many other Climbers. However, it was neither right, nor true, to say that he had it the worst.
Yes, he had suffered. He had things locked away that the others couldn’t even begin to imagine. But bad things happened to everyone. They were done by all types of workers. Take Jul’s example. Or even Mul’s.
Perhaps, Viy had seen worse than he had. Or, given what Jul had said about her, done those things herself… He couldn’t discount that possibility. She could be running not from others, but from punishment.
He shook his head. That line of thought brought him nowhere.
Is there such a thing as a healer for your head? He wondered. Maybe we could take her to one.
And why not? If there were infinite possibilities in the O-Nex, was it that far-fetched? There should be everything up there. Things and things and things he could not even begin to imagine or understand or even come up with
I hope there is one. I hope she can get better.
“Ow!” he said, more in surprise than any actual pain.
He had hit his head on something.
He looked up, and found that it was Rel’s foot.
“What’s happening?” he asked.
“We’re stopped,” she muttered. “Viy’s lost it again. For fuck’s sake.”
Nar grimaced and held his tongue.
It’s just the Yearning talking. She can’t do anything about it.
Or could she? He didn’t know, and he didn’t want to try and find out.
Rel had been Climbing for a long time, and she the Yearning had been with her even before that. Who knew how close she was to her limits, and what fighting the Yearning non-stop like that did to her.
Best to just endure it.
From above, he heard the sound of Gad’s muffled voice. Viy’s too. And someone else’s.
Cen, maybe? Hard to make it through the Pressure.
Right above his head, Rel’s foot started tapping, and he lowered himself to get some space between the two of them.
Must be quite something, whatever it is she yearns for… Can’t just be some light and color. It has to be something that matters. That means something. But what in the Nexus could it be, that reaches all the way down here to get at her, and all of her kind?
He hoped to see it one day. If Rel stayed with them.
With us? He thought, surprised.
Was there an us after the Climb?
“Come on! We’re losing aura here!” Rel suddenly shouted.
Damn.
“Be patient,” Gad said from above. “Rushing it won’t do any good.”
“We’re going to die here! Make her move!” Rel said. “Or I will.”
Nar barely recognized her voice.
“Rel. Control yourself,” Gad told her.
That seemed to have done something, and Rel went quiet.
Maybe he should try and distract her at least.
“Rel?” he asked.
“What?”
“Are you okay?”
“Does it look like I’m okay?”
Yeah, that one’s on me.
“Do you…”
“Please, shut up. I’m trying to focus,” Rel said.
Nar grimaced. “Ok. I’m here… If you need me.”
She didn’t reply.
Nar sighed and leaned back against the wall, trying to get comfortable. Who knew how long it would take them to calm Viy down.
Hmm. Maybe I could sleep like this. But if I move though… He sighed, peering down. That’s a long way to fall.
The unknown time continued to flow.
He wondered if the others had continued climbing onwards, or if they were there too, waiting for them.
Maybe Kur’s resting. I wonder how he’s doing…
It was impressive of Kur how he managed to keep up the pace, climbing this far up as quickly as he had. As far as he could tell, their leader hadn’t even used his [Healing Boon]. Perhaps he had healed enough already, or perhaps he hadn’t been hit as badly as Nar had thought.
“That’s it! I’ve had enough!”
Nar looked up in time to see the sudden gleam of an arrow.
He jumped, pressing her body against the ladder and holding Rel in place with his own body.
“What are you doing?” he asked, shocked.
“Let me go!” she hissed at him.
Her nails flailed at him, and she scratched him with the arrow.
The two of them wrestled for control over it. She elbowed him and tried to kick him, but he held, and eventually he managed to snatch the arrow from her hand.
Before she could pull another from her storage, Nar slashed her across the shoulder with it.
Rel cried in pain, and went limp in his arms.
Nar, cautiously, ready for her to start fighting again, shifted his weight to better support them.
The archer trembled in his arms, breathing hard.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“Is she okay?” Gad asked, looking down at them.
“She’s fine,” Nar told her. “I got this. You focus on Viy.”
“Okay. Take care of her, then.”
Nar nodded and Gad turned back up.
Rel was now shaking, shuddering under big, heavy sobs.
“Rel?”
“I’m losing it,” she whispered. “It’s starting…”
“No! No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is! I know the signs!” she cried. “They taught me about them, and I’ve seen them my whole life!”
Nar rubbed her back, unsure of what to do.
“I was ready to attack them, Nar… To kill them! Just to get them out of my way! This is how the end begins!”
“It will be okay,” he whispered, uselessly.
“How?” she asked him. Pleaded with him. “How is any of this going to be okay?”
“The pain brought you back, right?” Nar asked. “You just need to hold on a bit longer. We’re already in the Upper Levels. We’ll be out soon! We have to!”
“You don’t know that,” she said. “And I’m getting weaker and weaker, and I can’t even sleep.”
“I’ll help you with that.”
She shook her head. “It won’t be enough. I’ll start losing control, and it will get worse. I can attack you all. Even you.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Nar…”
“You can’t do anything to me,” he said, his tone firm.
She sighed and leaned her forehead against the uneven ladder.
“You guys should just leave me behind, before I do something,” she whispered.
“You’re one of us now. You’re never staying behind.”
She turned back around to look at him, as much as she could.
“Aren’t you listening to anything I’m saying?”
“We don’t leave people behind, Rel. And you are one of us now,” Nar said, staring into her eyes. “We’re all in this together, or not at all. That’s the greatest lesson we’ve learned. In this Climb, we only have each other. We’ll be there to cut and stab you as much as you need it. We’ll cut you up from head to toe, before we give up on you. We’ll beat you up, and tie you up with our own clothes if we have to! But we will not give up on you! Do you understand?”
They were silent for a bit, staring into each other.
“You’re hurting me.”
Nar jerked back. “Shit! Sorry, I…”
“It’s okay. Thank you,” she mumbled. “Although, that stuff you said was kinda scary. Please don’t beat and cut me up.”
Nar couldn't hold back the laughter of relief. “Well, keep your shit together, and I won't have to.”
She laughed too and leaned back against him, resting her head back against his shoulder.
“Do you want me to…”
“Please stay. It helps.”
Nar stayed where he was, and took a slow deep breath. Rel was back in control.
Bits of bright orange streaked past them, and the conversation from above drifted downwards to them.
“I never wanted it! Never!” Viy was saying.
“It’s okay, we know,” Gad told her in a soothing tone.
“It was not my choice! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive, Viy!” Cen said. “You hear me? You did nothing wrong!”
“I’m sorry…”
Rel closed her eyes.
“Something bad happened to her,” she said. “Something very bad.”
“We’re all Climbers for a reason,” Nar said, echoing Gad’s words. “Some heavier than others, but all of them valid.”
Rel snorted. “It’s a miracle we’ve made it this far, considering how broken we all are. Not to mention bridges, guardians, and cannibals…”
“We’ve come this far. We’ll make it to the end,” Nar said.
“I hope so. I really do.”
Her breathing slowly returned to normal, and Nar too, slowly felt the adrenaline leaving him. Suddenly, he felt very, very tired.
“Are you ok?” she asked.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re tired, aren’t you?”
“We all are.”
“Yes, but…”
“Rel, it’s fine.”
“Okay.”
He looked up, looking for the right words, and sighed.
“Look Rel, I don’t hate you.”
“What?” she asked, surprised.
“I said, I don’t hate you. You asked me before. I didn’t know what to tell you then, and I still don’t know what to think about you, to be honest. But I know that I don’t hate you,” Nar said. “You’re one of us. I would like for you to survive this and find what you yearn for. For you to find your happiness up there, whatever that means to you. Yes, your Yearning is… A pain to deal with. And yes, you’ve done… Things. But you’re here now, with us. And that’s what matters. Is it right, is it wrong? I don’t know. Honestly, I’m too tired to care about it. But right now, you’re one of us. We’ll look after you, and you’ll look after us. That’s it. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Nar frowned. “Are you crying?”
“No!”
“Hey,” Gad called from above. “We’re moving again. You guys okay?”
“Yes. We’ll be right behind you,” Nar said.
“Good. The others have gone on up. Come on, there’s still a ways to go.”
Gad started climbing again, her steps echoing dully above them. Rel, without a word, slipped past Nar and followed after the tank.
Nar watched her go for a few seconds. He had meant every word. He truly hoped that her, and all of them, made it to the end. Safe and alive, to discover what that O-Nex even looked like.
